Twilight Sparkle Sprouts Wings

by Sollace

Part 4: I- Uh- Wha? DISCORD!

“Discord!”

Twilight screamed into the open sky, the wings on her face flapping in the breeze and sticking to her sweat-ridden coat as she paced her backyard. She was seething with hatred, not so much for what Discord had done, but for what he didn’t do.

They’d spent a little over three hours trying to get that damned Draconequus to appear. Anything from simply calling, to an elaborate ritual involving bananas and a sacrifice to the banana god, but all that had gotten them was a slightly peeved letter from Princess Celestia, and a congratulatory mug from Princess Luna—which, she admits, was a rather nice mug.

Why, she’d even asked him nicely, but still they remain. With no signs of Discord to be had, Twilight had to resort to the only solution she knew would work eventually: screaming herself hoarse until something happened.

“Discord!” She stopped mid-canter, turning her face to the sky and grit her teeth. “If you don’t get down here right now Celestia, so help me, I’m gonna—”

Several feet away, relaxing in the shade of the castle’s patio, Starlight Glimmer and Spike silently watched as Twilight swore and waved her hooves at the sky. Starlight sat comfortably, leaned back against her beach chair with a tall glass of lemonade floating beside her. She sipped from it without break as her eyes remained glued to the angry princess.

Even as she watched, Twilight continued to scream, turning a deeper shade of purple and then crimson. She then threw a punch at the air, missed it completely and somersaulting herself into the dirt.

The resulting, rapid fire, barrage of cursing caused Starlight to blush. Her ears folded and, suddenly losing interest in Twilight’s plight, she took a new interest in her glass of lemonade. Lifting it up in her magic, she noted the abhorrent lack of refreshment, and set it down at her side, then turned to look at Spike.

The dragon, for the most part, seemed unfazed by Twilight’s behaviour. He sat back with his right arm behind his head and a large sunhat obscuring the most part of his upper body. There was also a fire extinguisher, already primed, nestled under his free arm with the nozzle at the ready.

“... so...” Starlight turned aside, putting her back to the flailing and, quickly becoming, deep red alicorn in the distance, “Is it always like this?”

“Hm?” Spike squirmed slightly and lifted up the sunhat to look at Starlight. There was a brief moment as he glanced to Starlight, to Twilight, and then back. “Oh,” she shrugged, “Yeah. Sometimes it takes longer.” He sat back, returning to his previous position and pulled the hat low to cover his face, “I just try to roll with it.” He then patted the fire extinguisher and added, “But I always try to keep some of these handy, as well, of course.”

“Discord!” Twilight’s voice cracked. She could already tell she was starting to scream herself hoarse, a sign it was almost time for her to tap out and let Starlight have a go for a bit, but she also felt they were getting close.

She stopped in the middle of the yard, wiping the sweat and mud off her face then cupped a hoof over her forehead to squint up at the sky. There was a flicker of motion that caught her eyes, but when she followed it, and blinked past the rays of sun, she found it to be just another seagull.

She sighed, Come ooon, and took a brief moment to rub her temples. Her head was pounding and it felt like she was about to burst a blood vessel, but she had to get Discord to appear somehow. “Okay, Twilight. Just, one last time.”

She took a deep breath, all of her feathers spreading like the head of peacock as she pulled in as much air as she possibly could. “Discor—”

“Heya!”

Twilight stopped short, interrupted from belting out her latest scream. “Huh?” She froze on the spot, blinked once, twice, thrice, and snapped out of her stupor.

She looked around her; suddenly realising she’d somehow dug herself into a ditch. She was standing, mud up to her flanks, in a long trench stretching the length of the garden and back, following perfectly the path she’d taken the first... It suddenly occurred to her that she couldn’t remember how long she’d been pacing this yard. But that was all besides. Another chirp from the end of the yard called for her attention.

“Yoohoo~” A voice sounded from the end of the garden, “Twilight, over here!”

Besides the usual flowers trees and the—mostly destroyed— lawn of the garden, there was also a long stretch of Canterlot Garden Hedges, a kind of ‘gift’ from Princess Celestia outlining the perimeter. One specific part, the one that seemed to be calling to Twilight, seemed to be shaking.

“Oh!” She jumped out of the ditch and ran up to the hedge, ready to let loose all of her hatred at once, “Mother of Celestia, I’ve been calling you fo—”

A cloud of pink fluff suddenly popped out of the top of the bush, followed shortly after by a pair of big blue eyes and wide grinning teeth that could only belong to one pony. “Hey, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie waved.

“Oh,” her ears dropped, “It’s just you... Pinkie Pie.” She slowed to a canter and came to a stop beside the bush. “What are you—” Craning her neck, Twilight stole a glance over the hedge. There was a white picket fence, through which she could see Pinkie’s body with its neck stuck between the planks and into the bush. She looked back to her own side, sizing up the mare looking at her with a wide grin. “... What are you doing here?”

“Oh, well,” Pinkie Pie wobbled slightly inside the bush, the sounds of twigs snapping and wood creaking. Twilight chose not to check what was happening on the other side.

Pinkie’s hoof emerged from the bush and she flicked her wrist nonchalantly, “you know. I was just in Sugar Cube Corner, baking a marble fruitcake for the cakes whilst running Vinyl’s dishwasher—” She leaned further over, pulling Twilight by the ear and whispering, “Did you know it cleans with wubs!” then let her go and continued, “—and listening to this new death metal track I got from Maud when I heard something that sounded like somepony was shaving a grizzly bear with a chainsaw—” she gasped, and continued “—and I thought to myself: ‘Who’s shaving Harry? Fluttershy doesn’t do that until June,’ but then I put down my chainsaw and removed the heavy duty earmuffs and realised it was you. So I came over to see what’s up.” Pinkie concluded her explanation with a nod. “So...?” She leaned in closer to Twilight, encroaching on the mare’s face as she leaned out of the bush, “What’s up? You calling Discord or something?”

“Um...” Twilight’s muzzle scrunched from the close contact. Her wings instinctively withdrew and she pushed Pinkie’s face away from her own, “... yeah.”

“Oh!” Pinkie Pie chirped and stood up straight, her full upper body now visible from inside the bush. She clapped her hooves together and came bounding out, “I can totally help you with that, Twi!”

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight shook her head and followed, “That’s not going t—” and was immediately cut off when Pinkie stopped in front of her and shoved a hoof in her mouth.

“Shush!” Pinkie shushed her, and removed her hoof, “Don’t interrupt whilst I’m working.”

“Bu—”

“Shhush!” Pinkie repeated, this time more forcefully, finally convincing Twilight to remain silent. She sighed and took a seat whilst she watched Pinkie work. “Just let me put on my ‘game face.” Dropping to her haunches, Pinkie set to work running her hooves through her mane.

She licked on hoof, and slicked back her mane to lie flat.

“Um,” Twilight frowned, watching with keen interest as Pinkie got back to her hooves with a mane now almost identical to that of Fluttershy’s. “What are you...?”

“Watch this,” Pinkie grinned, winking shortly to the peanut gallery from the castle patio, and flicked the tip of her mane to complete the illusion. She coughed into her hoof, and took a deep breath, then crouched low, mimicking Fluttershy’s stance as best she could, and let out in a lowest, tiniest, most filly-weak squeak she could muster, “Disco—”

Pinkie had barely gotten the word out, when a bright flash ignited between them. Twilight stumbled back, blinded, and blinking her eyes. She rubbed her hooves in her eyes, blinked a few time, and when her vision cleared she was face with the image of Discord, standing up with a joyful grin on his face, and rocking Pinkie Pie in a bear hug as he squeezed the life out of her.

“Fluttershy! There you are! You won’t believe what I ju—” Discord stopped short, taking one glance at the pony in his arms. He set eyes on the pink mare in his arms staring up with wide, deep blue eyes. She smiled and blinked twice. Discord’s grin disappeared and he held the pony out at arm’s length, mortified. “You’re not Fluttershy.”

“Nope!” Pinkie chirped, and leaned over to give Discord a quick peck on the cheek. She then dropped free from the shocked Draconequus’ grasp and pranced away towards the castle singing, “You’re welcome~” to an equally as mortified Twilight as she passed.

Neither said anything, their mouths hanging agape, as Flutter-Pinkie trotted away with her Fluttershy-like mane bouncing at her sides whilst her tail remained just as curly as before. She arrived at the steps in front of the patios, hopped up, and walked straight past Starlight and Spike who, equally, stared at her— though more in that it actually worked than anything else— before Pinkie disappeared inside.

When they were finally sure she was gone, and everypony’s sense of normalcy was going back to... normal, Twilight blinked, and came back to herself. She turned to face Discord and looked up at the Draconequus who seemed to be equally as confused. “Ahem,” she coughed, “Discord.”

The Draconequus took a long moment before he realised that he was being addressed, “Um, what?” He looked down to find Twilight’s angry face, mostly obstructed by feathers, glaring back up at him ground. His grin returned in full force, times one thousand, “Pftt—” and muffled a snicker beneath his claf, “Oh.” He leaned over, flipping onto his belly and floating low to get a closer look.

“I must say.” Discord reached out and flicked one of the wings, making Twilight to recoil and her frown to deepen, “I love what you’ve done with your...” He paused at a loss for words then settled for motioning with a claw around his head and shoulders, “This area. Do remind me to get the number of your stylist. It’d be simply wonderful to hear how it was done.” His grin widened, showing a set of yellow teeth, and a quick waggle of his eyebrows sealed the deal.

Twilight pouted, huffing slightly from frustration and, somewhere in the distance, Spike burst into laughter. She wasn’t amused. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” Twilight deadpanned, and added, “You’ve had your fun. Now change me back.”

“Change you back!?” Discord actually seemed legitimately surprised at this. He recoiled, standing to his full height and pressing a paw to his chest whilst his face painting itself with shock, “Are you insinuation that I am responsible for your... condition?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes.”

“That little old moa would do such a hilariously heinous thing to one of my dear Fluttershy’s best friends?”

“Yes” Multiple voices returned, and again, Twilight nodded, this time joined at her side by Starlight.

“Well,” Discord huffed, “I hate to burst your bubble, but I am simply not responsible. I have no hand in this matter and I would appreciate it if you were to offer an apology.” He turned his back to Twilight, folding his arms and turning up his head in a huff.

“Ap—“ Twilight stammered, utterly flabbergasted. Starlight seemed to feel the same as she stood beside her with her mouth hanging open. Spike’s laughter redoubled, only growing stronger the more Twilight tried not to glare at him. “A- Apology?” Twilight felt another twitch coming on and she reached a hoof up to begin the futile effort of rubbing her temples to make them stop.

“Well,” Discord continued, oblivious to Twilight’s impending meltdown, “I do admit that it is something that I would have done. But it couldn’t have been me,” reaching into his back pocket, Discord pulled out his wallet and produced a small sheet of paper, “See?” He held it out in front of Twilight, “I have an alibi.”

Starlight levitated the paper out of Discord’s claw and brought it in closer to see. Twilight took one look at the paper, her frown deepening, “That’s a receipt for Quills and Sofas.”

“Oh,” Discord blushed snatched the paper away, quickly spluttering “So sorry, that’s the wrong one.” He tossed the paper back in his pocket.

“Why do you need so much upholstery anyway?”

“It’s none of your business what I eat,” Discord snapped, and produced a thick book and a pair of reading glass. “Now,” he licked a finger and flipped it open, “Look here.”

Discord turned the book around, tapping the page for Twilight to read, and again Starlight levitated it closer so they could both see. “Page thirty seven, paragraph two,” he added as the two huddled around the book.

It was, at that moment, whilst reading the page in front of her face that Princess Twilight Sparkle remembered a very important detail. Discord couldn’t possibly be responsible for whatever he had done, for he had spent that entire day having tea with Fluttershy. How she remembered this, without ever going to see Fluttershy, nor without any of her friends—especially Fluttershy— even thinking to mention that fact; she could not tell. All that remained was that Discord was, without a doubt, innocent, and would continue to have indemnity from any other actions he has, or ever will— not—do in the future. Now will you please untie u—

They’d barely gotten past the first few lines when Discord snatched the book away. “See?” He snapped the book shut, motioning to it with a claw, “I’m innocent.” Then threw the book away, where it promptly exploded into a burst of sparkles, and produced instead a copy of ‘Saw: the Novel.’ “Now,” He spun round holding the book under his shoulder, “If you will excuse me, I have some studying to do,” then floated into the air and vanished in a flash of light leaving Starlight and Twilight to exchange confused looks.

A snort attracted their attention, and all eyes turned to where Spike lay, on his side at the base of the castle’s porch, clutching at his sides and biting his lip to keep from laughing. The sunhat had been discarded and lay upturned beside him. Another snort escaped Spike’s lips and he looked up with a wide grin, “Pfft—” he burst, almost falling backwards in a fit of laughter, “Ha-ha-ha! He totally got you guys!”

Starlight and Twilight shared a glance. Their ears dropped and they both screamed into the sky. “Discord!”

“What is it now?” Discord’s voice echoed from nowhere and he reappeared in a flash, staring down at Twilight with a frown and his arms crossed. He still had his reading glasses on, which he tipped low as he regarded the ponies with contempt.

Twilight trotted forwards, meeting Discord mid-way as he floated down to the ground, and pulled him forwards by the scruff of his neck. Her horn shone a blaze, and she stared him directly in the eyes. “Fix it,” she growled. There was a loud clack as Twilight’s teeth ground together. The faint smell of burning hair reached Discord’s nose, and he spied wisps of smoke waft over from Twilight’s back. She added, in a deep and low growl, “Now.”

“Oh, uh,” Discord flashed a toothy grin, shrinking slightly under Twilight’s gaze. He suddenly felt hot, and conjured up a collar to loosen. “Okay, okay,” he gulped again, licking a finger and dousing the tip of Twilight’s horn, he pushed it gently to the side where it wouldn’t cause any damage to him.

Starlight trotted up beside them then stopped, frozen. She went pale and leapt out of the way of Twilight’s, jumping for cover behind Spike, who in turn froze and began quaking on the spot. Twilight blinked and jerked her head back, and watched as Discord stood back to his full height.

He continued, “But I warn you: wing magic is not really my forte,” and snapped his fingers. There was a bright flash, and a puff of smoke, around Twilight’s body. When it cleared, Twilight was revealed a new mare. She felt lighter, happier, and glowed with a contented smile. “Thank you,” she sighed.

“You’re welcome.” Discord offered, offhandedly, and watched as Twilight cantered past and towards the castle.

With this whole mess out of the way, she really wanted nothing more than to get back to her normal life. She’d missed most of her lectures this week, but there was still one left Friday on the topic of the benefits of friendship. Dr. Pear Top would be delighted to hear that she would be able to make it, but that meant Twilight couldn’t waste any time. She had to get to her library post haste to begin refreshing herself on th—

“Um, Twilight?”

Starlight’s voice broke her train of thought, and Twilight stopped mid-way through the back door. She looked up and glanced around the patio, instantly spotting Spike at her side, with a grimace as he motioned to a spot on his face. “Twilight, it’s—“

Twilight flushed red. She spun around to shoot a glare at Discord.

He shrugged, “Sorry, but that’s my honest to Luna best attempt. Wing magic is so... finicky, and I’m not technically allowed to do it after—” he coughed, “Celestia would have my head on a platter if she ever found out, and we all know how I like my heads under a glass. Now,” he turned aside to Starlight, stroking his tuft of goat’s beard with a paw, “Celestia, on the other hoof—”

“No, no,” Twilight screamed, slapping her hooves to her ears, “La-la-la-la.”

“I’m simply saying—“

“I can’t hear you!” Twilight wouldn’t have another word of it. There was no way in Tartarus she was going to call Celestia for help.

“—that—“

“La-la-la-la” She sang louder, squeezing her hooves further down her eardrums as she turned around and cantered back into the castle, the sound of her singing slowly drawing quieter as she drew further away.

Discord huffed, “Well. That was just rude.”

~ ~ ~

Twilight trotted through the castle, turned a corner into her bedroom, and slumped exhausted into her bed. “Ugh...” She groaned into the sheets and allowed them to consume her entirely, every part of her going slack as she sank deeper into the soft Pegasus down.

She was just beginning to drift off to a painless sleep, when she heard the door creak open behind her and Starlight’s voice. “Um, Twilight?” Starlight stepped cautiously into the bedroom, glancing around to see where the alicorn could be. She was sure she’d seen her come this way, “If you’re in here, I just want to talk.”

Tiptoeing further into the darkened room, Starlight kept her eyes peeled, focusing mainly on the large princess-sized bed that occupied the chamber.

As she circled around it, the first thing she spotted was a wave of movement and, like Cutulhu emerging from the depths, Twilight’s bed-head turned up to looked at her, “... yes?” she groaned.

Starlight stopped mid stride and stepped back to keep her distance. “What’s gotten into you?” she finally asked, “Are you really that afraid of Princess Celestia?”

There was a slight meep, several feathers puffing up, and Twilight’s eyes went wide at the mention of her past mentor. She crouched lower in the bedspread, burying herself to her muzzle and looking up to Twilight with wide eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

“Oh really?” Starlight rolled her eyes, “Come on; tell me. What is it?”

There was a faint sigh, and another puff of loose feathers. Twilight relented with a roll of her eyes, “I- I just really don’t want her to see me like this.”

“Is that all?”

Twilight nodded.

“... fine.” Starlight shrugged and started back to the doors, Twilight’s eyes tracking her progress from the comfort of her bed. She reached the door, pulling it closed behind her half way, then turned to glare at Twilight over her shoulder. “At least clean yourself up. Have a shower or something. Dinner will be at eight.”

Another brief nod from Twilight, and Starlight closed the door behind her and left.

Comments

[Nightingalehound]

Twilight.. stop it, your crush isn't going to care, especially when she is the most likely perpetrator of this perplexing plight.

[FanOfMostEverything]

You don't really make clear what Discord did manage to do. He must have had some effect, or Twilight would feel lighter.

Also, the whole "avoiding Celestia" thing doesn't work too well when Spike has a direct line to her that he has used without Twilight's input before. Don't get me wrong, this is an amusing scenario, but every chapter that doesn't involve a burnt letter wafting its way to Canterlot strains my suspension of disbelief that much more.

[Sollace]

7854746
Yeah, I realise it has gone on a little longer than I originally intended. It was meant to be only three parts, but I'm now looking at 5. If you'd like I can send a PM to talk a little more of what intend for the rest.

[FanOfMostEverything]

7854759
It's fine. I'm all too familiar with a story growing far beyond my expectations.

[Sollace]

7854799
As long as it's not ruined anyone's experience with the story.

I do worry though. (This will be the first multi-chapter story I'm actually going to been able to complete, with GS coming close second.)

If I were to start again I would definitely put some more thought into establishing a reason for her not wanting to contact Celestia. Seeing as how important it's become to the story that I had to have Discord bring it up again.

[FanOfMostEverything]

7854832
Consider it a lesson: Be sure to address the obvious solution, or one of your readers will.

In any case, I really am looking forward to more.

[The Great Derpsby]

7854887
"A reader might stab you with Occam's Razor."