The Burden of Awesomeness
No. Buckin'. Way.
"We met at one of the Photo Finish's after-parties while I was a model."
Look at that smile on her face. How in Celestia's name did she land Soarin?
Chill out, Dash, you should be happy for her. She's your friend. There, now I feel happy...
...Wait, no. I feel that other thing. Jealousy.
How in the name of Celestia's cutie mark could Fluttershy have pulled Soarin of all stallions? Sure, she was a model once, but she hardly ever talks! How could he find her so interesting?
I could barely speak. My mouth felt like all the sand in the Samareh desert had been poured into it. I was face to face with one of my idols, and I couldn't even utter a single sentence!
This was so unlike me, it actually hurt.
"I'm here to make Fluttershy lunch, then take her to dinner." He smiled, glancing to her with the confident grin I'm sure is standard issue to every Wonderbolt. "If she's lucky, I may be making her breakfast too."
You've gotta be kidding me! My best friend was not only taking one of my idols to the Gala, but she was also getting rutted by him? This was such noise—I needed a breather.
"Cool, I'm, uh... gonna go to the uh... place. See you guys later!" With that, I was out a window and back into the sky. I'd never have thought I'd catch myself acting like Fluttershy while one of the most desirable stallions in Equestria sat beside her like it was no big deal.
Ugh, now I had to get a hot date. I couldn't let Fluttershy of all ponies show me up!
Think, Rainbow, think! Where can I get a smoking hot pony to be my leg candy for the night?
Hmm... I could have tried for Spitfire, but I didn't want to sleep my way into the 'Bolts. Besides, I'm sure there's probably a rule about that or something. I scratched my head as I flew, no particular destination in mind. I just needed time to figure myself out.
I guess I could take Mac now that Fluttershy is taken. He's the hottest piece in town! Every mare there would probably give their left leg to have his country-ness at their side! That cinches it, time to head to Sweet Apple Acres!
I cut a one-eighty and hauled flank to AJ's farm. It was still early, so I figured I could catch Big Mac still doing his chores. Just as I thought, I spotted him in front of his plow, steadily moving row by row across almost endless plots of dirt. I circled around him, losing altitude until I landed as gracefully-yet-awesomely as possible in front of him. He stopped his pulling and drank in my glory. I gave him a second or two to appreciate it before I got down to business.
"Hiya, Mac!" I said happily. Ordinarily, I'd never give two bits about the things Rarity says, but every now and then I've overheard her telling whoever would listen about the importance of feminin... femininity. I swear that doesn't sound like a real word. Anyway, the gist of her babbling amounted to how a mare should act 'ladylike' if she wanted to catch a stallion's eye.
Now, I wasn't about to get all prissy or put on makeup or any of that, but I thought I could up my chances of landing Big Mac if I batted an eyelash or two. Besides, Rarity was the only one of us who actually cared about going on dates and things like that, so I guess she'd know what she was talking about.
"Howdy, Ms. Dash," he drawled, his wheat sprig bouncing as he spoke.
"Please, Ms. Dash was my mother," I insisted, trying my hardest to soften my voice. A lot of ponies say my voice is... unique for a mare. What they mean by that is it's grating. I was pretty self-conscious about it when I was a kid and even sometimes... Ugh! This isn't about me! Getting back to Mac... "Rainbow is fine."
"Alright then, Ms. Rainbow. What can Ah do fer you?"
I knew Mac was a quiet pony, and generally avoided situations where 'fancy ponies and hoity-toity folk' would be around, as AJ put it. I figured I'd just come right out with it, seeing as how I'm not one for pointless talk, and Mac's not one for any kind of talk.
"Well, the Gala's coming up and..." I had to pause. You ever gone in to something thinking it'll be cake, only to find out your stupid body had other plans? Well I hadn't... until now.
I started to sweat, despite the cool breeze, and I was now aware of my own heartbeat. Still though, I had to press on. "I was wondering whether you'd want to go with me. I heard Fluttershy's already taking Soarin. Can you believe that? Soarin!"
Okay, I was beginning to ramble a bit at this point, but at least I got it out. Now for the moment of truth!
I stared right into those green eyes, waiting for the words I wanted to hear. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it just felt like it was taking forever, or if he really was that slow, but finally he answered.
"Well, Ah can believe Fluttershy's takin' Soarin. She was a model once, ya know," he began, working his wheat sprig in his mouth from side to side. "You're certainly my type, and I would take ya if—"
Yes! I knew it! Who could resist the Dash? Maybe Rarity wasn't full of hot air and weird facial cremes after all! Wait, did he say 'if?'
"—Ah wasn't already asked to attend by another mare."
Seriously?! Who the heck could have beaten me to Big Mac? I know he and I aren't exactly best friends, but most of the other mares in town are too busy swooning to even talk to him!
"O-oh." That came out a lot more hurt-sounding than I intended. He seemed to pick up on it.
"You're a fine young mare, Ms. Rainbow, but you don't need me to tell ya that." He smiled, trying to soften the blow. Ordinarily, I'd hate somepony's attempt at consoling me after a rejection. Typically because Rainbow Dash does not get rejected. Well, no use wasting more of our time, though I just had to know which mare plucked up her courage and beat me to Ponyville's most desirable stallion.
"Thanks..." I said half-heartedly. As nice as he was being about it, rejection still stung. "Who was it?"
"Huh?"
"Who asked you to the gala!" Celestia, Big Mac is slow sometimes...
He smiled like he'd just pulled in the entire applebuck harvest by himself. "Rarity."
Well, when it rains, it bucking pours.
I said goodbye and bailed. How was this so hard?! Do these ponies not know who they're dealing with here? Well, that's all the stallions I know. Sad, isn't it?
Whatever! So there weren't any more available stallions in town. There were still plenty of mares out there! And I bet not all of them got invites to the Gala! I bet I could find one of them to match my hotness, I just had to be persistent, that's all.
Six hours later...
Screw persistence. Not a single mare in the hole-in-the-wall town wanted to go with me! Me! Maybe it was time to sit down and take a hard look at my flaws and weaknesses, and—wait! What the heck am I talking about?! I'm Rainbow-bucking-Dash! Weaknesses and flaws are for the... uh... weak and flawed! I'm none of those things!
Okay, so all the hot mares and stallions were either taken, not going, or not interested. That still left... nopony. Crap. The only ponies I hadn't asked were AJ, Pinkie, and Twilight. AJ'd probably be too busy selling her apples to worry about a date, and Pinkie, well who knows what she'd be up to.
It looked like Twilight and I were on the same cloud. She'd probably be so far up the Princess's flank she could brush her teeth with her hooves. I headed home, exhausted and with a bruised ego from turndown after turndown. No wonder I never thought about relationships—look how much of a pain in the flank they were to get started!
I landed on my steps to find a package waiting for me. It didn't have a stamp, so Derpy didn't deliver it with her mail. It was square, simple white string around it, wrapped in brown paper with a note attached.
I grabbed the note, flipped it open, and read it.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
As soon as I read that, I knew it was from Twilight.
I feel just terrible for making you take care of me last night, so I asked the Princess to forward me an early copy of the next installment of your favorite series! Daring Do and the Phoenix Pool. I hope you like it!
-Twilight Sparkle
No way! This wasn't due out for another month! I took back what I said earlier about her royal obsession and tore open the paper. Sure enough, a brand new Daring Do cover stared back at me. That's when I had a dangerous idea.
Why not take Twilight to the Gala? I mean, we could just go as friends! Friends do that with other friends, right?
I took my book inside and belly-flopped onto my bed, starting on chapter one. I made it all the way through chapter three before I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I set the book on my nightstand and got ready for bed. While I was brushing my teeth, I thought more about going to the Gala with Twilight. I mean, she was certainly cute in a nerdy sort of way.
One of those 'I'm-hot-but-don't-know-it' type deals. But there was one big obstacle in my way. Even though, at this point, I didn't think about Twilight that way, this was how this kind of junk started. Innocent hang out time morphed into more hang out time, which morphed into 'I'm tired, mind if I crash here tonight?' Which would then become the most awkward breakfast ever.
Still, I could control myself. Twilight was a great friend, and getting any closer than that would only serve to mess that great friendship up. It'd be strictly... what's the word for like, but not like like? I can't remember. Twilight probably knew, though. I caught myself smiling at the thought of the way she'd try and explain it to me, using all her big words and stuff while I'd just sit there and nod.
She was always happy to try and teach me something, even though I thought I was done learning once I left flight school.
I decided I'd ask her tomorrow. If she had already gotten a date, I'd lose my mind. I might even take a page out of Pinkie's book and create a date out of flour sacks and rocks. I really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
The morning after my atrocious hangover, I was feeling much better. I still sucked down about four glasses of water, but I had really been taking waking up without a headache for granted. As another beautiful day dawned, I was startled by a letter from the princess rocketing out of Spike's mouth and towards my face. Luckily, I was able to catch the wayward projectile before I suffered a retinal paper cut.
"We really need to tell the princess no letters before nine," Spike groaned, covering his head with his sheets.
I opened the letter immediately and began reading it.
My faithful student,
Visiting dignitaries will be arriving in Canterlot tomorrow night, and as you know, it is customary of the unicorns and the pegasi to welcome them with the traditional display of the aurora magicalis. Ordinarily, Princess Luna leads the unicorns and their pegasi mounts into the upper atmosphere to cast their magic into the skies, unfortunately, she has fallen ill, and will be unable to lead. It is with great urgency that I ask you and a pegasus of your choosing to arrive in Canterlot no later than sunset this evening, as you will be leading the event in place of my sister. I know you will make me proud.
Eternally, Princess Celestia
Had I not already been in bed, I'd have hit my head on the hard floor.
Princess Celestia wanted me to lead the opening ceremony of a diplomatic event? At first I was honored, but this feeling was quickly usurped by terror; I had no time to plan, no time to prepare! She just wanted me to... do it! To just make almost two hundred unicorns and two hundred pegasi fly into the air and fire off magic at the same time! What if I messed it up? What if she decides I'm not a good enough student to be her protege anymore and sends me to the—No, calm down, Twilight. Remember what the therapist told you about spiraling thoughts.
I took a deep breath and counted to ten.
Nope, still terrified. I rolled out of bed and was all set to begin my usual routine of pacing the floor and worrying myself silly when somepony knocked on my front door.
I had actually slept in, so the library technically should have been open by now.
As much as I would have loved to open the door and instruct whoever was behind it to 'get a book and then beat it', I didn't think that would generate repeat business. I trotted down the stairs and opened the door, ready to make up some excuse as to why the library wouldn't be open for another hour or two, giving me time to hyperventilate. To my surprise, it was Rainbow! Just the pegasus I wanted to see!
"Hey Twilight!" she said happily. I stepped aside, letting her inside. "Thanks for the book! I can't believe you got a copy so early!"
"Oh, it was nothing." I blushed. "It was the least I could do after I... uhm... vomited on you..."
Rainbow didn't seem bothered by that part, thankfully. "Don't worry about it. So did you get your Gala invite yesterday?"
I remembered setting them on my nightstand and adding the date to my planner. As usual, the princess had sent me two tickets, but I only ever used mine.
"Yes I did." I needed to change the subject rather quickly. Hopefully Rainbow didn't have anything planned for this evening. I don't think I'd trust a pegasus I didn't know, and I doubt Fluttershy would ever want to go higher than she felt comfortable falling. "Rainbow, are you doing anything tonight?"
A blush fell over her, but disappeared as quickly as it had come. "Uh... no," she stammered. "Why?"
"Well, I got a letter from the princess, and long story short, I need you to spend the night with me in Canterlot," I explained, hoping she wouldn't ask to many questions, because I didn't have many answers.
"Sure, I can go with you," she replied, much to my relief. "What for?"
I walked to the bookshelf and grabbed the appropriate volume. "Are you familiar with the aurora magicalis?" I asked.
"Not really."
I levitated the book in front of her as she scanned its pages for a few moments.
"So, you want me to carry you into the sky so you can do magic?"
"It won't be just us, it'll be about four hundred other ponies joining us up there. You and I will be leading it in. Princess Celestia informed me that since Princess Luna is sick, we will be leading it in her place."
That seemed to seal the deal.
"Us? Leading it?" She grinned. I could tell she was thinking this would look good on her Wonderbolts resume or somthing similar, but honestly I couldn't care less as long as she agreed to help me out.
"I'll do it!" she added. "Where are we gonna stay? I don't have the bits for a hotel."
I waved a hoof dismissively. "Don't worry, I'm sure the Princess will let us stay in the castle."
Dash's toothy grin never left her lips. "Awesome! So when do we leave?" she asked, shuffling happily on her hooves.
"Give me a few hours to research Luna's past ceremonies and we'll be all set," I said, putting the book back on the shelf and scanning the other spines for relevant information.
"Cool, I'm going to get my book from home. Be right back!" she said before flying out of one of my windows.
Truth be told, I was actually looking forward to flying with Rainbow and actually remembering it. The sky was a place unicorn ponies rarely tread without the aid of enchantments or potions, and even then, it wasn't flying. Hopefully Rainbow wouldn't get too carried away on our way into the heavens.
Hopefully.
Wow! Me (and to a lesser extent, Twilight) leading some super important ceremony? That'd impress the Wonderbolts for sure! They'd have to let me in then! In all the excitement, I'd forgotten why I went to Twilight's in the first place. It didn't matter, though, there'd be plenty of time to ask about the Gala tonight.
On top of that, we were staying in the palace! I'd only ever seen the throne room and the tower. I bet the rooms are swank!
I made the quick flight home and grabbed my book, toothbrush and hairbrush. Normally I wouldn't use it, but if I was going to be part of some fancy event, Twilight probably wouldn't let me out of the room unless I brushed my mane. I threw on my saddlebags, put some tortoise chow in Tank's bowl and headed back to Twilight's.
Once I got there, she was already in study mode. I figured I could just wait until after the aurora to ask about the gala. No use trying to distract her from something like this. If the princess asked her to do it, I knew she must have been obsessing since she got word.
I took a quiet seat on the couch next to Spike as he flipped through a comic book. Before cracking open my own book, I grilled him on what this whole thing was about.
"How long has she known about this thing?" I asked.
"She just found out this morning," he replied, watching her bounce from book to book, scribbling notes every now and then before checking and re-checking them.
"Seriously?" I knew she would be freaking out to a degree, but to have something this important dumped in her lap so suddenly was probably pretty scary. I was kinda surprised she wasn't more frazzled than she looked.
"Yeah, she's been on it since she got up," he said, not taking his eyes of his comic. Spike was used to her manic-ness, and honestly, if it wasn't for him talking some sense into her, I bet she'd have destroyed the town one way or another by now.
As I dove back into Daring Do's search for the legendary Phoenix Pool, a weird thought popped into my head.
I remembered the time Twilight had saved me from Discord. Well, not so much saved me, but broke his spell over me. I ran away from her and all my friends, but no matter how fast or far I ran, she didn't give up on chasing me down. None of them did, but without her, all of us would still be the opposites of our elements. It made me wonder why she fought so hard for us in the first place. Not that I wouldn't have if I were her, but... was it her need to save the kingdom and prove to the Princess she was a worthy student, or because she wouldn't let the only friends she'd ever had disappear forever?
I didn't know, but I'd like to think it was because of us. I know that sounds kind of selfish, but I think it's true. I know I'd have chased her down if our roles were reversed. Then I remembered the night we'd shared after the opening of the cantina.
She wanted me to stay with her, in her bed until morning. I know Twilight was drunk, and probably had never been that drunk before, but as the saying goes 'drunken words are sober thoughts.' And then there was that magazine I found...
The more I thought about it, the more I tried to stop. Even if Twi was into mares, there'd be no way I'd ever go for something like that. I mean, we're friends, and Elements of Harmony! If we aren't all harmonious and junk, then the elements probably won't work! What if she and I were fighting and Discord got loose or something and we couldn't use the Elements because of it?
Wow, am I over-thinking this! Twilight didn't like me that way, and I didn't like Twilight, and that was that.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes as I set the book down across my lap.
What was it they said about the Nile being more than a river?
Rainbow's face when Rarity:
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3616-1331534661812.jpg
Thanks to Razed for the edit!
1378569
alright, which one of you is the future RazedMaximus?
I wish I could thumb up individual chapters to let you know that you continue to impress. Good Job, I like the changing perspective. If done too often, it can get annoying, but you've struck a good balance.
Heh, denial-Rainbow is best Rainbow. One comment: you really can't switch viewpoints mid-chapter like that in a first-person story. My recommendation? Switch over to good old third-person limited for any bits where Dash isn't physically present.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4305_small.jpg
Platonic, that's the word you're looking for. And Da Nile isn't just a river. This is Jerrio, your Rainbow Dash translator for today.
>Daring Do and the Phoenix Pool
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg
UPDATE!!!!
Great chapter even if a bit weird to read...
Keep at it!
"Daring Do and the Phoenix Pool".
Oh you.
The chapter was very enjoyable, but that first transition from Rainbow Dash to Twilight was a bit jarring. Still, it wasn't a major issue, and all the transitions after that were pretty smooth.
I can't wait for the next installment
Fluttershy's behavior irks me here. It seems like she would apologize at least once and she must have known how Dash would react.
But that's nit picking. I'm enjoying this a lot. The first person view is a really nice change of pace.
Did... did Rainbow just call her mother a...?
its awsome and i cant wait for the next chapter... however... fluttershy was my favorite and to know that shes getting rutted i found hilarious
1388893 Miss, Ms, Mrs? I don't think she'd know the difference.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Canterlot Castle, in a fatigued, flu-ish, slightly drugged stupor:
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony, aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAahhhhhh, ow, Our throat is sore.... My Little Pon- *cough*, nngh.... you know, t'is ironic; 1,000 years on the Moon, that's 365,250 days, counting leap years, in the cold vaccume of space, and not once did We become ill. Because space is a sterile ether, blasted clean of all life by Tia's light... and lack of air. Yes, t'is true: the light of Our Sister, unsheilded, is indeed poision! Our Mother saw fit to place a shield of special air called Ozone over the world, blocking most of the poisionous glare. Most. We left you mortal life-forms to fend for yourselves for the rest. If indeed thou are alive: Congratualtions. You passed. If you're dead: thou merely suck at life."
Oh wow... an update on one of the stories that I REALLY love!!!!
Thank you
1389226 not sure if good or bad...
Nope, this still makes no sense to me. Everything about this... (Flutterin?) pairing breaks my willing suspension of disbelief. I mean, it's possible that they could meet at a party during Fluttershy's fifteen minutes of modeling fame, but how would Fluttershy even be capable of engaging Soarin in conversation? Which of Fluttershy's qualities did Soarin find appealing? Better yet, why would Fluttershy be interested in Soarin? And one more little detail: how the hell did no one notice this on those one or two occasions when those two would've been in the same location (off the top of my head, the wedding in Canterlot)?
Look, I know that this story is about the TwiDash, and I'm glad that this pairing is the only part of your story that irks me, but you could have resolved every single one of my complaints up there in less than one sentence each (Fluttershy being able to strike up a conversation with Soarin might require two) if only you had bothered. To me, it feels like pairing those two together was one part "let's move the plot in the TwiDash direction" and one part "sucks to be you, Rainbow Dash."
1388240 1388410 1388702
I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't get it...
1389289 Soarin probably made the first move, and since Flutters isn't a lesbian in this, she was okay with it. I mean, you could technically ask how Fluttershy could engage anyone in conversation (Mac, Rarity Twilight, whoever she's shipped with). I left out why Flutters was interested because it wasnt relevant to the story. there were only a few pictures in the credits of the season finale, so who knows who else danced with who.
Thanks for reading it and voicing your concerns, and I'm glad this was just the only thing you found irritating!
1389303 go to RazedRainbow's profile, click the story 'Not all who wander are lost'. then you will.
1388893 She probably called herself Ms. on purpose, considering...
30minutemartha.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/MD_Original.jpg
1389303
Self-promotion time!!!
The title of that Daring Do book comes from this fic.
1389315
Beaten to the punch by myself
1389315 1389321
Ah.
1389308 I was suggesting that if Fluttershy and Soarin did interact with each other during the reception, then someone should have noticed. Although if they deliberately avoided each other so that no one would notice (not even our #1 Wonderbolts fangirl), thus sparing them a potentially awkward conversation, then I wouldn't be surprised.
Oouh, Rainbow Dash. Showing off your genre savviness I see. I like it.
I now expect this story to end with Dash at the bottom of a crater in Sweet Apple Acres.
There seems to be some innuendo, or more likely, some reference with "Phoenix Pool"... But I can't for the life of me figure out what is is...
1389239
I kind of like the idea of Spitfire hitting on Twilight, just because it's usually Spitfire and Twilight going after Rainbow, also I like the confident good looking celebrity openly hitting on the adorkable, naive, and cute librarian.
Ouch, beaten to the punch by Fluttershy to Soarin and by Rarity to Mac, and then no dates after six hours of looking, good think Twi sent this early copy of the new Daring Do over or it would have been a terrible day...
Well it's good to have dreams.
From my experience, drunken words are far from sober thoughts. I bullshit everything I say when I'm blacked out
1389600
I like how that would make RD jealous and irritating, whenever cause Spitfire hits on Twilight and not her or cause Twilight gets hit on despite having her as "date", that will be up for her to wonder.
Loved this chapter. Everyone is complaining about the perspective switch, I happen to like it. Keep up the good work, yo!
Rainbow talking to Mac denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8035-13651416746174.gif
Rainbow after hearing about Rarity: denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4346-1334808686480.gif
This continues to be awesome.
I'm jealous now. You're much better at writing TwiDash than I am.
i loved this chapter cant wait for more
Not Nile, Neighle!
Yay! No chapter loved it Though it needed more Fluttershy, and I agree she should of apologized to Rainbow at least once . But all in all great chapter I'm guessing Rainbow messed up the Gala at the beginning of the story and that is why she is remembering past at the moment I'm sorry if I'm wrong, I do hope it works out I hate seeing good friends fight for pointless reasons
uhh, bronius maximus, this was a really good chapter.....is it gonna take you FOREVER to give us another chapter again?
also, that reference about the nile, I could tell it was a reference of some kind, but ive never heard it before, any chance you could explain?
Seriously though....it took soooooooooooo long for you to give us this chapter after "paper secrets", and so long for you to give us paper secrets too, for that matter, plz dont make us wait that long again....please...
Interesting, I must say.
You know to start, it would be nice to know if Soarin and Fluttershy were going out for a long time. If so, why didn't Rainbow know sooner? If not, what the fucking fuck? They just started dating and already they're fucking? You'd think you'd tell your friends you met a new colt before you started sleeping with him. Or is that just me?
So, are we supposed to assume everyone in this story is bi? Considering Rainbow's strategies?
"Why not take Twilight to the Gala? I mean, we could just go as friends! Friends do that with other friends, right?"
Isn't that redundant? I mean if all their tickets are plus ones, why would you have your date be someone who already has a ticket? Unless someone's planning on giving their ticket away.
Ok. I'm gonna go to Petsmart and get some "tortoise chow" now.
1388893
I think it's a "Finding Nemo" ref
1404129 no, it's been said b4 nemo, it's just an old saying
1389064 It's actually 365,241 days. Leap years don't occur on every 100th year, except for once every 1000 years. (minus 10 leap days, then add 1 back)
FINALLY. An update. It's been so long I thought you forgot about it. And it was great. However, Soarin came kind of like a random punch in the face; totally unexpected. Poor Dash, you think someone like her would have hooked somebody to the Gala. Finally catching on to Twilight, she is. Drunken words can be some of your deepest feelings and thoughts for some people, you know. And I have to agree with some of the comments; there was a bumpy transition from Dash to Twilight. I was confused; how did dash get to bed so quickly? Why is Spike in her house?! What just happened? Why did the princess send her mail? Or wait, is spike walking down the street? How else could she avoid it? But how did Spike's bedsheets get there? Did spike carry them? Why would that even happen? . Seriously,i thought all that in the span of a few seconds. I didn't understand that the setting and perspective had changed until it said Twilight. . But that's the only slightly annoying part. The settings and the surroundings could be more detailed, but it's not a big deal. Didn't ee spelling errors. Everyone is in character. Except Shy. Should would have apologized at least once.lol.
And if you want some advice, you could include wing gestures for RD, they're not always just for flying, you know. This story here, >>null << is like a guide to pegasi wing gestures. And the story itself isn't bad, it's pretty good. But I'm recommending it to you so that you have an opportunity to add more detail/emotion; if it's used the right way, it can add spice to your story. I've seen examples of great places to include these kinds of details, and some awful ones as well. Feel free to check it out. Keep up your writing,i love it. (sorry for such a long comment lol. And in case the link fails, it's called Moodwings)
Fluttershy is my least favorite character in the fanfics, so that was -for me- annoying to read.
Anyway, the rest is great, keep up the good work. ^^
"Six hours later"
I can't be the only one to think of this immediately:
1395752
The Nile...Da Nile...Denial.
2061121
Oh... my... god... That feel when you've encountered a huge revelation...
How... I mean... After reading your comment, and going back and reading the text... it makes perfect sense. But I could have never come to that conclusion myself, how do people like you just "get" it. I seriously might have never figured that one out. I guess I was just expecting it to have some kind of meaning related to water, or length, or africa... I wasn't expecting it to be a word pun. *facepalm* Well, I can now appreciate the value of it at least. Thanks for sharing.
It's Da Nile is more than a river.
Da Nile, not the Nile