0 — Prologue
Fate. Oh, how I hate that word.
Anyone who actually buys that crap is just too dumb to realize when they get influenced by false hope.
There's no such thing as fate or destiny. Only possibilities. All we have is what we got. We can't decide our entire future.
I suppose I should formally introduce myself.
My name's Luther. I was born in 1995 in Perth, Australia, to a loving mother but a deadbeat father - who both broke up due to the multiple affairs my dad kept secret. I still don't know how my mum was able to forgive him until the 3rd cheating. She took care of me most of my life and I was grateful for everything she did for me. When I started high school, I realized I didn't fit in with anyone at all. It's been 7 years since I had a true friend. I was constantly bullied for being isolated all the time. Not my fault is it? Due to this, I was always the social outcast and never really got any friends. Being alone has become a habit, so I stopped trying to make friends - not that I tried to begin with.
Where am I now today? Just living in a share-house in a small suburb near the coast. My big brother lived nearby and got me a job at the coffee bar (not to be confused for a café) he works at. Mostly, I work alone during my shifts, but when I work with my bro, I can still be myself. Not to mention it pays really well. Could I have asked for a better job?
I ran into a lot of... experiences on the way. I took 4 different study courses; Information Technology, Digital Gaming, general studies, and commercial cooking. All where I was too incompetent to get somewhere. A huge waste of both time and money.
I had so much trouble figuring out what I was good at and how I could use it. Which just enforces my disbelief in fate. I just wasn't gonna accomplish anything that I, or anyone else, could be proud of. So what have I got to look forward to? Nothing. This is all I'm capable of doing now.
Anyway, to the present. I put down my bag and collapsed on the bed after another regular day at work. I shortly get undressed, grab my towel, and take a well-deserved shower. After a mind-clearing wash, I move to my desk and turn on my laptop to watch my stories. I won't go into details about specific stories, but I will say that I like fantasy. I did it all the time in my own time. I see reading as a way to escape from reality.
After an hour of 'me time', I look at my watch to see it is now 8:51 PM. I still have a few hours before I plan to go to bed. And since it was Winter, the sky was overcast with dark clouds. This is my favorite kind of weather. Being isolated all the time, I've become very fond of the night, giving me a dark complexion. So I decided to take a walk.
I turn off my laptop and put on some clean clothes. I take my smartphone, keys, wallet (just in case), and wireless headset so I can make my walk more entertaining. And how can I forget my trademark black bandana that I keep around my neck? I always wear it so people know who I am and I never take it off unless I'm taking a shower or sleeping. Plus, it keeps me warm.
After locking the door to my room, I make my way outside and begin my trek into darkness. In times like this, I always listen to instrumental music. After about 30 minutes of wandering aimlessly, I found a nice, old bus bench that was never removed. I sighed and sat down as I gazed into the night sky. It was so beautiful. I could sit here all night.
After about 10 minutes or so, I decided to do something really childish; make a wish on a shooting star... only there weren't any shooting stars out tonight, so I focused my thoughts on the moon instead.
If this is all I can do, then what's the point? What's the meaning of life? Nothing? Damn, I wish I had something to look forward to, or someplace where my actions actually matter. I'd even go to another planet if it means I can do something worthwhile.
After venting my thoughts, I noticed something that caught my eye; The moon started to... twinkle? Even stars don't twinkle as much. There were multiple twinkles slowly popping up all over the moon's surface.
As I stared at the unbelievable display in the sky, more and more twinkles were popping up. Soon the whole moon was blanketed with them. I quickly stood up and brought my smartphone out to take a picture. The twinkling was intensifying to the point where it was almost as bright as the sun. I quickly put my phone away and shielded my head with both arms.
What... the hell... is going on?
My vision had locked onto a bright light from the twinkling moon. The light got brighter and brighter until I could no longer keep my eyes open. Grunting in pain and shielding my eyes from the blinding light, I found myself feeling lightheaded and dizzy. I felt like I was going to collapse. I waited for my body to hit the ground... but I didn't feel the impact.
I then lost consciousness.
Night-time in Equestria.
In Ponyville, Princess Twilight Sparkle had organized a special get-together and invited all 7 of her closest friends to her castle; Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer. One by one, they showed up individually.
After the last pony showed up, Twilight and her friends were all getting comfortable on the balcony of her crystal castle. Splayed out on the floor were cushions for each pony (and dragon), and a large telescope for stargazing.
"Alright, everypony. Are you all ready for the first Winter Moon Celebration?", She asked excitedly.
A brief cheer sounded in response before Twilight continued.
"Tonight, history will be made! As you all know, Princess Luna returned from her banishment precisely two and a half years ago. She and Celestia have both agreed to make this particular day the longest night of the year!".
"Ooh, I can't wait!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie, "This is gonna be just as exciting as the Summer Sun Celebration! We still stay up all night and... oh, wait, if you think about it, it's not so different."
"True, Pinkie.", said Starlight, "But this event is dedicated to Princess Luna, showing her that we love the night just as much as the day."
"But isn't that what Nightmare Night's all about?", asked Rainbow Dash.
"That's more of a holiday where ponies dress up in silly costumes, eat candy, and have fun.", Twilight answered, "Now, what we're about to witness is the moon twinkling brighter than a mirror ball. When it happens, the moon will start to brighten up, making it a sight worth seeing."
Twilight and her friends all sat down on their cushions, getting comfortable. As they waited for the light show to start, everypony helped themselves to snacks and refreshments that were shared between each of them. While eating, Applejack took sight of the first twinkle.
"Hey, y'all! It's startin'!"
Right on cue, everypony looked up to the moon and their eyes were filled with wonder and amazement. Just like a giant mirror ball, it twinkled all over and illuminated intensely. After several minutes of watching the fantastic light show, Starlight spoke.
"Uh, guys? Is it me or is one of those twinkles getting bigger?", she asked.
Taking notice of Starlight's finding, the rest of the group noticed the same thing. There was an out-of-place twinkle getting larger and seemed to be moving off the frame of the moon. After closer observation, they all noticed that the twinkle suddenly turned into a bright, flying object. It was heading towards the castle.
"Everypony get inside, quick!", yelled Twilight.
Panicked, the group of friends stood up from their cushions and rushed back inside, and attempted to close the doors. Before it could be fully closed, the doors were blasted off their hinges and the bright, flying object crashed into the castle, briefly blinding everypony from the light knocking them unconscious.
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Do you need an editor? I’m interested if you need one.
8634785
I do, actually. I've been looking for one for a while. Are you interested?
I could probably help with the editing too buddy!
8635151
Really? Thank you!
--The second comma is redundant
-- You're missing a word or two, depends on how you want it.
--
or
--
-- 1.Always listen occasionally doesn't really fit. It would work better with something like this: "I always listen to instrumental music on my nightly walks." or something like that.
--2.Instead of "as I sat", "and sat" goes better. It's not a grammar issue, but it helps the sentence sound smoother.
--When your story is in the first person present theme, one usually refers to ones body as 'I', and not 'it'.
-- As a location setting for the beginning of the section, this should be in the middle of the page.
--They way this is told seems rigid, like old-timey words, sometimes its better to use less to convey just as much. It makes for smoother and easier reading.
--She can't state it if it's a question. Also some expression should be added to make the characters, characters.
--You don't need hyphens there, and when using numbers like that, its best to use the word. It's not necessary, it just smooths it out, so to speak.
--You don't need to announce that Twilight is speaking in this paragraph, it was already determined that it was her speaking in the last paragraph.
-- Redundant comma.
--The ',however,' breaks the train of words and adds nothing to the paragraph.
-- Just need a , in the end there.
I hope this helps. I may have missed something, i have never done editing before. :P
8636202
Good to see someone who cares. Thanks a lot, mate! This really helped.
Grat job plz wright more
From
Minecrart24
I was wondering what HiE meant. Now I, sorry, WE, know.