Act II - Ch. 14 Darkness Takes Hold
Be awed! Be amazed! Because here comes Justice Itself, Chapter 14!
At long last, here comes another update. Uni is done for the year, so hopefully I can have another chapter up soon. Like, two weeks or so.
Oh yes, and after Act II is over I have a couple of side-stories that are going up together. The working title for the collection is “A Little Justice on the Side” because hell, I couldn’t think of it better. Got three one-shots so far, small fun things.
So comment and all that, because the more motivation means more chapters faster, and more chapters faster means I’ll finish this Act and post the side-stories sooner.
Enjoy the read, I hope you have even more fun reading it than I did writing it.
Real quick editor’s note here: I’m super sorry about my absence last time. Things got in the way that delayed my editing beyond the point where it was due to be uploaded and, to be frank, until so many commenters pointed out the differences after the last chapter, I really hadn’t realized how much I help here. So thanks, helping is something I always try to do and it’s great to see I can manage it sometimes, I really will try to be more consistent with it from here onwards.
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Chapter 14 Darkness Takes Hold
***
“A trap?” Paladin echoed.
Trixie nodded frantically, nearly losing her footing when her front legs buckled under her efforts.
“What- what do you mean?” Fluttershy stared at Trixie with wide eyes. She supported her, holding the weakened mare up before she could fall. “A trap? I hope no one is hurt.”
Tyrael did not hear her. His mouth had gone dry. The magician’s words were booming on the inside of his skull, pounding at his thoughts. He had made another mistake. He had done it again, he had failed. The rest of the Elements had gone running into a trap without him. He had deprived them of his own protection, not to mention Air Raid and the coward Star Scream. With Fluttershy here they could not possibly use the Elements either.
They would be caught helpless and unaware, and it would be his fault.
“A trap?” Air Raid gave Trixie a flat look of distrust.
“Yes, a trap!” She snapped back in something halfway between a sob and a snarl. “Would everypony stop repeating what I said? The...thing used me to cast a spell that broke my horn and it just threw me away like trash.”
Air Raid glared back. “Why should we believe her?” He demanded voice heavily accusatory. His eyes darted to Paladin but the mighty stallion just kept staring into the distance.
Apparently Fluttershy took notice as well. She struggled with the decision, unsure if Trixie still needed her help while something was wrong with Paladin.
“Um, Paladin?” She whispered, biting her lip nervously. “A-are you okay?”
He blinked and his mind snapped back into focus.
“I am fine.” Taking a deep breath Tyrael forced his thoughts away from the sting of failure. There was no time to give in to despair. He had to fix this. “We must move. Now, before the trap is sprung.”
“Sir?” Air Raid followed Paladin as the pegasus turned to face the direction of Ponyville. “What are we going to do?”
The larger stallion said nothing for a moment, watching the darkness around them contemplatively. He could see it now-a strangeness to the plants growing at the edge of this strange dome. They leaning in, points of leaves and branches almost aggressive in their growth. All of it pointing towards the broken mare they had found.
“This forest is unnatural.” He murmured.
“Umm, yeah?”
Tyrael glanced at Trixie again. “I suspect whatever force makes this forest so unique and unnatural does not welcome Trixie. The only reason I can imagine is that the dark force controlling her has done something to wrong it.”
Air Raid tried not to show how uncomfortable the thought that the Everfree Forest had ability to dislike ponies. “That can’t be right. I mean, it’s a weird forest but....well, it’s a forest.”
“Things are often much more complicated than they seem on the surface. It may not be a creature of its own but the Everfree and its inhabitants posses a certain quality, I suspect. An unconscious consensus, perhaps.” Tyrael kept his true thoughts from his voice. He had more than enough experience with responsive terrain.
The very air held tension in it, like a bow strung and notched just waiting to be released. Until he could truly prove her innocence or guilt Tyrael had no intention of allowing Trixie to be slain by a forest rejecting an entity no longer residing within her.
“What does this have to do with the trap? Shouldn’t we be going to warn them?!” Air Raid all but demanded, pawing the ground anxiously.
Tyrael nodded. “Indeed. The point I make is that we cannot leave her here. The weather above the forest is too dangerous to fly in with a passenger on your back and I feel Fluttershy must be reunited with her friends as quickly as possible.”
A frown briefly crossed Air Raid’s face followed by understanding. “Wait, you don’t mean-”
Paladin nodded once more. “You will carry Trixie. In the interest of reaching Ponyville as quickly as possible Fluttershy and I will go on ahead. Follow our trail but when you reach the outskirts of the town, be on your guard. I know not what awaits or how perilous a scheme our foe has devised.”
For a moment it looked like Air Raid was going to argue. After looking at Paladin’s unmoving expression and stern blue eyes the pegasus just nodded bitterly. “Very well...Sir.”
Discipline had always been something of a problem for Air Raid.
Paladin had already turned away, quickly approaching Fluttershy and Trixie.
“Miss Trixie, I feel you are telling the truth.” He said without preamble. “As such we must depart for Ponyville immediately. I must know any details you can recall. If the trap has been sprung already the lack of Fluttershy’s presence may have put our enemy off step.”
Trixie nodded shakily, rubbing her forehead as she tried to think. Her hoof, Tyrael noticed, avoided her horn in its massaging movements.
“I- Trixie cannot recall, precisely. That...thing, it just felt so satisfied, so smug. I- Trixie only really knows it a trap because it was thinking about it so much, wrapped up in that single thought. Or just a concept? It was s-so strange, having it think things I-I just couldn’t understand, in my own head. It was going to...I just can’t....” Trixie let out a quiet sob as her mind buckled at the task of delving back into the dark memories.
Fluttershy spread a wing over her and made smoothing sounds again. “It’s alright Trixie, we’re here for you. You don’t have to think about it if you don’t want to.” She promised her.
Before Tyrael could correct that Trixie did need to answer, the mare herself voiced her agreement.
“B-but I need to. It..it needs to get destroyed. B-before it comes back and takes Trixie’s mind again.” Taking a deep breath, Trixie forced herself to continue. “It was going to, I- Trixie thinks, spread itself. Not sure what that means, but it wanted to grow. Spread.”
Ignoring Air Raid’s muttered ‘the hell does that mean?’ Tyrael found his mouth dry again.
“The town.” He whispered to himself. “It’s using the entire town as a trap.”
Behind him the wall of plants surged before he could share the thought. A mass of brown fur, yellowed claws and rabid fury erupted from the plant-life like a sudden volcano of the furry variety.
***
Even had she known there was a trap laid before her, Twilight found the siren call of plans and checklists far too compelling to ignore. Her attention was fixed on the checklist the Mayor had provided her, running through it as the Mayor explained their plan of action once Twilight had conveyed her own, sending each of her friends to a different area to organise the search and explain what exactly they were looking for.
“In light of the warning the guard brought us,” The Mayor was telling Twilight, “everypony is gathering in places to organise to search or evacuate.”
Twilight nodded, seeing it on the list. “That sounds good. Okay, first place is...”
“Sugar Cube Corner.” The Mayor said for her, smiling toothily.
***
“Mr Cake! Mrs Cake! Guess who’s ba~aaaaack~!” Pinkie Pie sang as she bounced into Sugar Cube Corner. She landed with a thud, grinning widely in pleased surprise at all the ponies inside the store. “Wow! There’re so many ponies here today!” She frowned. “Aww, but we have to go find the ape stone.”
Behind her the door slammed shut. Pinkie glanced back at the two guardsponies now blocking the door.
“Oooooh, the guards are here! Yay, that means if that meanie-horn Trixie comes along WHAM! No more meanie-horn-magic-meanness.”
Mr Cake stepped forward from the crowd. Considering there were at least thirty other ponies squeezed into the store this was more complicated than it initially sounds. He smiled at Pinkie.
Pinkie knew smiles. Everypony had a different smile and Pinkie had every single one of them memorised. She knew the Cakes’ smiles best of all, from Mr Cake’s ‘Its-Early-But-Pinkie-Just-Offered-To-Open-The-Store-So-We-Can-Sleep-In’ smile to Mrs Cake’s ‘Knows-Pinkie-Means-Well-But-Pancake-Batter-Is-Not-For-Sale-As-A-Drink’ smile.
The smile Mr Cake was aiming at her was not any of Mr Cake’s smiles.
“Welcome back, Pinkie Pie.” He greeted her. The smile did not reach his eyes. “We have been waiting for you.”
Despite her doubts Pinkie grinned. “Really? And I didn’t even know I was gonna be home today. Mr Cake, are you psychic? Oh, I know, what I am thinking?” She put a hoof on either side of her forehead and adopted an expression of intense thought, mostly by scrunching her face up.
Mr Cake’s expression turned confused. Behind him was a sea of synchronised movement, Mrs Cake and every other pony in the room all matching Mr Cake’s expression at the exact same moment.
‘They really must have been practicing!’ Pinkie thought with a giggle.
“Uh, no. Now, Pinkie Pie, we need you to-” Mrs Cake began before the wailing cry of a foal cut her off. Within seconds a twin cry was raised, before Pumpkin Cake did not want to feel left out. “-we need you t-”
Pinkie ignored her, bouncing past and peering up the stairs. She sniffed loudly. “I think one of the twins needs a change, pee-yew!”
“Yes, well first-”
“Want me to go? I’ve been practicing and I promise not to get distracted this time. The diaper will be on one of the foals first try!” Pinkie offered brightly, remembering the last time she had been distracted while changing one of the foals and ended up wearing the diaper instead. She still was not quite sure how it happened but Mr Cake’s surprised expression had been really funny.
“Never you mind about the foals, we need-” Mrs Cake began to say. Behind her the mass of strangely silent ponies stared at Pinkie with flat expressions.
Pinkie’s own smile became a tad tight. “Oh, wait a second. I’ll just check on the foals.”
“Forget about the damn foals!” Snarled Mr Cake, his angry expression mirrored disconcertingly across the room.
Now any semblance of cheer dropped from Pinkie’s expression. Her eyes narrowed and with a flip Pinkie flew up the stairs, galloping away.
A roar of rage, echoed by every throat in the building save three, followed her and the sounds of a herd charging after her as Pinkie darted into the foals’ room. The foals stopped crying at the sight of their foster-sister, beaming at her despite the sound of ponies bellowing in simultaneous fury. The screams were cut off by the door, kicked shut by one of Pinkie’s rear hooves as she walked in. She managed to kick it shut in such a way that the lock also clicked in.
“Alrighty little Cakes, I’m takin’ you guys out.” She took only seconds to throw a strange set of saddlebags over her back, the bags converted into foal-carriers. The foals were strapped in without fuss, both eager to go out for a walk. How Pinkie was able to get both foals in place on her own, the seats already sitting over her flanks, was a mystery for the ages. Or simply involved yoga.
The door shuddered suddenly, hooves ramming against its frame. The windows began to rattle as pegasi, their eyes dark, beat at them.
Pinkie frowned. “We’re gonna need to get the door fixed, all its poor wood is going to chipped and scratched.” Her frown turned upside. “I don’t understand what’s making everypony into udder-heads but your mummy and daddy would never just ignore you guys. Time to teach these meanie-pants what happens when you mess with the Pie.”
A dark-furred pegasus, Thunderlane, rammed his head against the windows. Strengthened in a bout of foal-oriented paranoia the Cakes had convinced Twilight to magic their windows strong enough to resist any wayward pegasus who happened to make a mistake while practicing tricks. Not that they had any particular ponies in mind when they asked Twilight, certainly not any of Pinkie’s friends.
While the enchantment meant the glass would be dulled the instant it did break they had neglected to reinforce it from the inside.
As such, when Thunderlane retracted his head and prepared to bash it in again in an act any thinking pony would recognise as unhealthy and futile, the thing in his mind blinked. The previously empty window was occupied by...a ring? A large, metal ring full of-
Confetti, streamers and everything you need for party decorations had a surprising amount of force when fired from a party cannon. The entity controlling Thunderlane’s surprise showed on everypony in the area’s face for a split second as one of its hosts was knocked out of the sky.
Pinkie shot through the empty window frame, the foals strapped to her sides. She bounced onto the roof outside and bounced to the nearest roof before moving to the next building. The ponies under the sway of the dark thing behind their eyes moved with one purpose, pegasi abandoning the other windows even as Thunderlane tumbled to the ground.
Even with the speed of their response, they found their target gone; the party pony vanished with her precious cargo. Though they searched the sky and torn through the streets, they found nothing.
Pinkie Pie was gone.
***
“I suppose everypony knows Sugar Cube Corner.” Twilight admitted. “Pinkie Pie should be there soon, hopefully she can get them all organised.” Privately she winced at the thought.
The Mayor nodded in apparent agreement. “Next on the list...”
“Sweet Apple Acres.” Twilight supplied from the list.
***
Applejack was not happy.
“Landsake, what in Equestria is Mac playin’ at?” She snarled, glaring around her at the apple trees flanking the dirt road. The earth pony galloped at full speed without pause the whole way from Ponyville.
She glanced down at the road. Ponies had come down the road recently, a lot of them. Applejack could see that clearly, having used this road nearly every day of her life. The hoofprints almost looked like they had been marching.
Regardless, Applejack could already spot things wrong on the outskirts of the farm. Clearly somepony had failed to do more than a few of the morning chores. Or any, she was quickly coming to realise.
“That pony better have a damn good explanation or Ah’m gonna....gonna....gonna ....tell Granny!” Applejack growled, her outburst the only voice she could hear.
Her answer seemed close at hoof as she arrived at the house, spotting the bright red coat of her older brother clearly from far away. The moment she got in earshot he turned and walked into the barn, leaving the door open behind him and ignoring her shouts entirely.
Applejack ground her teeth together at his action. She narrowed her eyes as he retreated, noticing something just before he vanished into the shadows of the barn. Macintosh was walking funny, his movement jerky like all his limbs were stiff.
‘Ah hope he ain’t gone and hurt himself again.’ She thought with concern. “Big Mac!” Applejack shouted. “Where’re ya goin’?”
No reply was forthcoming. With a half-hearted grumble she kept galloping until she reached the barn door. There was just enough room for her to get in without pushing the doors open further so she just trotted right in.
“Macintosh, ya big oaf, why ain’t any of the chores....” Applejack’s voice fell away. She had an earth pony guard, in full plate armour, facing her from every direction. Her brother stood at their front, twitching slightly as he faced away from her. “Mac? Why’re all these fellas in here with ya?”
The guards were impassive in their expression but their eyes glowed with hostile intent. She could practically feel it radiating off them.
Slowly, her brother turned. Every second his muscled twitched madly until he was looking straight at her.
“A-Applejack...” He ground out as though his body was fighting him. “R-run!” His expression was strained and she could read the fear in his eyes.
Fear for her.
The barn door slammed shut behind her and every eye that did not belong to a member of the Apple Clan turned pitch black with internal shadows.
“Aw, ponyfeathers.”
***
“A bit out of the way, isn’t it?” Twilight asked curiously. She frowned as she thought about it before shrugging and smiling at the Mayor. “But I suppose the orchard is pretty big and Trixie could be hiding out there.”
“Exactly.” The Mayor said brightly, chuckling slightly. It was a bit different from her usual laughter, Twilight noticed, but then again this situation must be rather stressful for her. As Twilight looked back to the checklist the door to the town hall opened quietly and from within it a few ponies began to emerge.
Her attention fixed on the checklist Twilight failed to notice.
“Number 3 is....”
***
“What are you guys doing here?” Rainbow Dash snarled. A glare that was normally reserved for Rarity attempting to dress her up or losing a competition to Applejack was now aimed at the horde of pegasi occupying every cloud near her house.
She had not even been intending to go home, simply flying through the area as she searched for signs of the crystal. The sight of roughly twenty lightly armoured pegasus guards and most of the weather team around her home had been something of a distraction she could not ignore.
Rainbow Dash landed on a cloud in front of Flitter and Snowflake. Her expression twisted into a snarl at the completely indifferent expression on their faces.
“I said-”
“I heard.”
Blinking, Rainbow Dash looked around her at the pegasi. “What the hay was that? This some kind of prank? This is so not the time.”
“No.” Every single mouth save her own moved in perfect unison. “I tire of trickery. Surrender to me and you will not suffer too greatly.”
The weathermare snorted at this, giving her friends and the guards an impressed look. “Okay, that was pretty cool. Now come on, we need to get looking for this big fancy rock. If we don’t find this thing it’ll explode and take Ponyville with it!”
Suddenly every expression around her became an amused grin. “Foalish pegasus, that is the least it will do. Now surrender. I do not wish to harm you.”
It dawned on Rainbow Dash that maybe this was not some elaborate prank the guards had somehow been convinced to join. “Harm me? Heh, okay, time to get serious guys. Come on, do you even know who you’re talking to?”
Eyes darkening with shadows within, the pegasi all flared their wings. Shadows seeped from Flitter and Snowflake’s hooves into the cloud they shared with Rainbow.
“Rainbow Dash, bearer of the Element of Loyalty.” They replied together. “Soon to serve me!”
Rainbow Dash leaped for the sky, wings pumping, and the cloud beneath her twisting. Shadowy-cloud became dark shackles reaching for her hooves. A pony landed on Dash’s back, forcing her down into the grasp of the corrupted cloud.
“No!” She gasped, throwing her attacker off her back. Not fast enough, the shackles closing on her before she could move.
“Yes!” Nearly three dozen victorious shouts filled the sky. The shadow-cloud surged up and drowned the struggling pegasus, swamping her until only a roiling mass of shadow remained.
***
“Rainbow Dash’s house?!” Twilight stared the checklist in confusion, glancing between it and the Mayor .
“Yes.” The Mayor’s expression remained steadfastly plain and she failed to give an explanation.
Twilight sighed and looked further down the checklist. “Where next- Rarity’s boutique?!” She exclaimed.
***
“Goodness me, where is everypony?” Rarity murmured to herself as she trotted down the road. Not having the athletic prowess of Rainbow Dash or Applejack she lacked the stamina to gallop throughout the town.
She was intending to find the ponies in the area near her own home, as they had discussed. But she could find nopony, the area seemingly deserted.
“I do hope they have not moved on.” Voicing her thoughts aloud Rarity made her way quickly, spotting her boutique soon. She frowned when she realised the door was ajar. ‘Oh, I really do not have time to get pre-occupied with checking. If we don’t find Trixie the door being open will be the least of my worries!’
Just as she prepared to turn away a light flickered inside a ground level window. That stopped Rarity and she turned back to face her home. ‘Is somepony in the boutique? Surely it must just be Sweetie Belle and her friends.’ Rarity nearly chewed on her lip as she struggled to decide what to do. Finally she sighed and started towards the boutique. It was not like there were any others around, so if she could find whoever had gone into her boutique at least that would be one pony found.
The closer she got the more intense the light became, fanning her curiosity even more.
“Hello?" She called, stepping into the boutique. Lifting a hoof to shield her eyes from the glow it took Rarity a few seconds for her sight to adjust enough to see clearly. Lowering her hoof, Rarity’s expression became one of shock and her jaw dropped open limply.
Over a dozen unicorn guards were inside her boutique, and each had their horn glowing with power. She noted absently that each glow, while bright, seemed less colourful than was usual. Of more concern was the fact that they were holding a vast number of items, mostly large and heavy, in their magical grip.
The next thing Rarity noticed was that their eyes were all a uniform shade of purest black and yet somehow managed to burn with hostility.
She gulped. “Oh dear.”
***
The Mayor nodes calmly. “Oh yes. It was perfect.”
“Perfect?” Twilight was now staring at her agape. “Perfect for what?”
“A trap.”
The scholarly unicorn’s brows creased in confusion. “Trap? Mayor, you mean, a trap for Trix-”
Before Twilight could finish the thought a hoof came down on the back of her skull and she collapsed into a heap. Above her unconcious form the possessed mare let out a satisfied chuckle, which might not have been so odd if the guardspony who had knocked out Twilight had not done exactly the same thing at the exact same time.
“No, dear little foal. For you.” The entity spoke with unnatural uniformity from its hosts. Yet a scowl of anger appeared on its many faces. Things were not going to plan.
***
“Now, I don’t want to come back and find out you did anything rude.” Fluttershy scolded the bear. For its part the bear took the reprimand seriously, nodding obediently.
A few feet away Air Raid looked at Fluttershy with something approaching fear. “I am so applying for leave on psychological grounds after this is all over.” He muttered, before wondering aloud for the fourth time; “How did she get that thing to sit like a trained dog?”
Fluttershy looked back at him with a small frown. “He’s not a thing.”
The pegasus guard gulped and nodded. “O-of course he’s not.”
“Why did he attack?” Tyrael demanded with his gaze unwaveringly on the bear. Fluttershy’s quick intervention had settled the beast before he could strike but he was by no means going to treat it as an ally or at all trustworthy.
After a few quiet moments Fluttershy supplied an answer, however unsure she was. “He, uh, isn’t really sure. He just knew something that really made him angry was here and, well, he just wanted to, um....” She trailed off, hesitant to complete the sentence.
Exactly what the bear wanted to do was fairly obvious, and Trixie let out a squeal of fear as she backed away from it. At the sound the bear snorted and glared at the unicorn until Fluttershy stepped in the way. He shied back after that.
“Send it away.” Tyrael commanded. Another idea quickly occurred to him and he corrected the order. “No, wait. Fluttershy, how certain are you that it shall obey you?”
She answered without a second’s hesitation this time, “Completely. He promised me he would be good. I- I know he will. Uh, that’s what I think at least. I mean, I could be wrong but I don’t think I am. Sorry.” She looked down, confidence draining instantly.
Paladin continued to stare at the bear. The bear avoided the strange pony’s eyes, slightly disturbed by their blue-white colour.
At last he nodded to himself, satisfied with some internal discussion. To them Paladin said, “I have a plan. It will require the bear. Fluttershy, give the bear my instructions. Air Raid, assist Trixie in getting on and kept close.”
“Getting on? Getting on what?” Air Raid asked in confusion. Behind him Trixie suddenly started looking between Paladin and the bear with wide eyes. She began to mouth the word ‘no’ to herself.
“Getting on the bear.” Answered the powerfully built pegasus as if it was completely obvious.
***
The darkness was all around her, shadowy claws holding her limbs stiff. Her eyes were open but saw only darkness. Rainbow Dash could feel the black-cloud clinging to her, weighing her down. It clogged the feathers and joints of her wings and they could move not an inch.
All around her a sinister laughter mocked her, called her weak. Frightened. Trapped by her own fear. She nearly did not hear the mocking, her own screams muffling it.
This was a thousand times worse than anything before and it felt like fear was ripping her mind apart. She had to get out. She had to see the sky.
‘Anything, anything just let me out!’ Rainbow Dash screamed in the place left to her, her thoughts.
From the darkness the mocking laughter became words.
‘I will show you your sky, little pony. Let me into your mind and you shall have an eternity of the sky.’
Still thrashing and struggling Rainbow Dash had hardly the awareness to contemplate the offer. The voice of the words was painfully familiar yet she was unable to grasp it. Deep inside she knew there was something deadly wrong with the voice.
But she yearned for the sky. To be free. Her heart pounded in her chest so hard it might have ripped itself free. The shadows were choking her of life and will. Every second the bindings tightened until what little freedom of movement Rainbow Dash had was taken was from her.
She was curled in the darkness with only her whimpers to keep her company when the voice came back.
‘Let me in, my little host, and you shall dream of endless skies. Eternal freedom. Let me claim you.’
‘Free. I want to be free. Free free free free free-’ she begged in her thoughts, desperate for release. Rainbow could not begin to understand what was going on, her mind regressing in on itself as fear fed upon fear.
Triumph filled the darkness around her, but she paid it no notice.
‘What of your friends?’
The question came unbidden and unheard by the darkness. It resounded in her mind. A voice she once again could only half-recognise spoke within. Unlike the voice in the darkness this voice was...reassuring.
The image of a towering creature of metal and wings of blue fire burned in her memory.
‘My...my friends.’ She thought faintly. ‘My friends....need me.’
‘Will you fly once more?’ In her memory the shining creature asked as it loomed above her.
This time the she answered with more strength, pushing back against the darkness. The sinister laughter fell silent.
‘I will. I’ll fly. I’ll fly and I’ll help my friends!’ Clarity returned to Rainbow Dash with every passing moment. Her wings flexed and though the darkness began to strain and tighten once more she felt the chains binding her falling away. As it did, she felt something on her head being pressed down.
Applejack’s hat. One of her best friends’ most prized possessions. Something that Applejack had trusted her with because of her fear. In a moment of weakness it had been more of a comfort than Rainbow ever wanted to admit.
Was she just going to let Applejack down, she asked herself, let this cloud of all things destroy that beloved hat? Let this thing make her betray a friend like that?
The sound of a blade shearing metal resounded from her memory and her saviour’s voice, even more familiar now, spoke again.
‘I have freed you.’
“I’m free!” She snarled aloud. The darkness began to shake and twist around, forming chains and manacles to trap her again.
‘...Soar...’ A single word, a mere part of a whole, yet it was all she needed.
For a single shining instant Rainbow Dash knew perfect freedom. Gravity, heat, cold, light and darkness meant nothing. The sun could not surround her in its rays of light and shadows could not lay touch to her.
In a burst of light she vanished from the black cloud, her wings aglow.
***
Tyrael tore through the humid forest, hooves slamming into the ground with ever greater force. His passenger whimpered and clung tighter, wishing desperately that Paladin had a mane for her to bury her face in. Vines and branches flashed past them as he pounded down the path or simply made one through the sheer force of his charge when he had to.
Behind them came a bear with a bruised ego. Huddled on its back was a very confused unicorn. Darting between branches above her Air Raid kept his eyes on the prisoner-and/or-victim.
His hoof splintered a root, coming down hard as he felt something roll through him. A nameless sensation ran down Paladin’s spine and Tyrael gasped. He could feel something happening.
“P-Paladin?’ A shy whisper reminded him sharply of his passenger. Fluttershy was so light he had nearly forgotten about her save the odd tickling sensation on his back from her mane. “I-is something wrong?”
“No.”
She peered at the back of his head worryingly. Fluttershy had felt him stiffen in surprise and clearly he had been disturbed by something. Of course when she was being carried on his back in the middle of the Everfree Forest was really not a good time to pry.
Without warning she felt him stumble. Paladin was quick to regain his footing before the bear could run over them but Fluttershy could feel the sudden rigidness of his spine and the tenseness of his muscles. Now there was something definitely wrong.
“Again?” He whispered in a shocked voice.
“A-again? Are you okay?” She asked quickly, before Paladin could try to pretend he had said nothing.
His reply was firm “Yes.”
“But you just-”
“I’m fine.” Paladin growled. At the squeak his passenger gave, he fought back a sigh. “Really. We have bigger issues to think about right now.”
Fluttershy nodded in consent, speaking up when she realised he would be unable to see. “A-alright. But after this is all over, will you tell me what’s wrong? Please?”
Indecision held Paladin back for a moment, but at least he nodded. “Very well. Once this has been resolved, we will speak of it.”
Back on the bear, Trixie frowned. She could see the pair talking. How in Equestria was that stallion not panting or winded from sprinting halfway through the forest? Above her Air Raid wondered the same thing.
‘I gotta get me some of what training this guy got, because damn!’ He thought.
Bounding through the forest, Tyrael turned his thoughts inward once more. ‘A second? Has the trap been sprung? I must know what is going on, before we lose control of the situation!’
***
Applejack fought tooth and hoof, striking at the guards charging her. It was futile, they outnumbered her twenty to one and had armour covering most of their bodies. Each time she kicked one across the room, wincing when they cracked the barn wall, shudders ran down her body from kicking hardened steel. It was unpleasant to say the least.
At least her brother was not attacking. Mac was frozen in place save the occasional twitches as he fought his own body. His eyes followed her, wide and getting angrier by the second.
She bucked, hooves slamming into one guard’s chest with enough force to dent his armour. The dark thing controlling him made no sound, ignoring or unfeeling of the pain its host suffered. Another guard simply took his place, leaping upon her back legs. The full weight of a heavily armoured earth pony forced her legs against the ground.
“Get tha hell off mah legs!” Applejack roared, flinging a hoof back to slam into his jaw. The guard had no reaction and another guard threw himself over her. “I said get!”
Despite her strength and the fury of her attacks the earth pony was piled upon. As they fell across her their armour hooves began to strike her. Each guard wore an identical expression of savage glee.
“Applejack!” Although he moved as if he was surrounded by thick mud Big Mac started at the guards. For all her strength Applejack simply lacked the sheer bulk and muscle mass of her brother. He sent one guard through the barn wall and another knocked two more to the ground in his flight path.
The guards not piled over Applejack turned on Macintosh. Rage filled their eyes, the same fury reflected a dozen times over in different eyes.
“You dare to resist my control! What will not work for me shall be destroyed!” They declared.
Applejack struggled with all might as the guards lay into her brother. They had beaten her to force her down but for Mac they clearly had no intention of capturing him as they had her. The possessed guards simply rained strikes across his body and Mac was unable to protect himself. Whatever it was in control was clearly still fighting him for his body and he was left helpless.
“Mac!” She cried, her struggles growing fiercer when she saw a splash of red that was certainly not his fur.
The guards repaid her with another series of brutal attacks. She fought against but Applejack could feel her body weakening. It was only a matter of time before her body failed her, or worse her brother....he...
The voice spoke in legion, even the guard knocked outside. “Despair, little pony, for your brother has earned the wrath of a dark goddess for his defiance. You cannot protect him and he cannot protect you. You fail!”
“No...” was all Applejack could manage. Her brother was not longer moving. “No...”
From within a fire began to burn, its flame blue.
‘No.’ Applejack grit her teeth. The flame became something else and nameless power spread through her veins until it reached her skin. ‘No!’
“NO!”
Applejack roared. A guard’s hoof slammed into her shoulder and bounced off with a resounding thud. Applejack pressed her hooves into the ground and pushed with all her force. The attackers previously raining against her fur made no mark on her, each time finding something blocking them. With her push the guards atop the earth pony were flung away.
‘I give you my armour.’ A voice, so familiar but just out of reach, whispered in her ears.
Rising from the ground, Applejack felt something encompassing her. It clung to her on all sides but was not constricting or binding in the slightest. Firm and strong, yet as comfortable to her as air. In a way it reminded her of her hat; familiar and comforting, time having worn it to adjust to her perfectly and her to it.
‘It will protect you.’
The same snarl on their faces the guards charged. Applejack did not move. Hooves slammed against her from every side with no effect. One pony threw himself at her. Angelic steel, ornate plates over silver mail, took the force of the attack without even the slightest scoring or scratch.
‘Walk fearlessly.’
Ignoring them Applejack walked to her brother. He laid on the floor the barn, his body twitching yet never moving. One of his eyes opened slowly, gazing weakly at the shining pony coming towards him. For a moment he wondered who it was until he saw the blonde mane hanging out the back of the helm and down the side of her neck.
“Mac? Mac, come on bro, answer me.” Applejack kneeled down and murmured to him. Behind her the guards had given up for the moment, pulled back into a great mass. “Y’all gonna be alright, ya hear me? Gonna get ya into town an’ the doc’ll fix ya right up. Just hang on Macintosh. Trust me, ya’ll gonne ba fine.”
He locked gaze with his one good eye, struggling to smile at her words. She was worried about him and Mac wished he had the strength to speak. He was able to widen his eye as a shadow appeared behind her.
Applejack’s back legs kicked out before the charging formation of guards could hit her. The leading pony was fired backwards into his cohorts. Straightening, Applejack sent them a glare so furious the creature within their minds felt taken aback for a second.
“First,” she spat, “Ah’m gonna teach these dirty varmints what happens when ya mess with the Apple family.”
***
The tainted magic of the unicorn guards glowed threateningly. The door slammed shut behind Rarity, and she could just make out the two unicorns behind the rest who were magically holding it closed.
“Uh, well gentlecolts, it’s a...surprise to see you all?” She tried, giving them a weak smile. “Would you be so good as to...vacate the premises? Please?” Her most charming smile and a flutter of her eyelashes were thrown in.
As one they gave their reply. “Surrender, mortal. I run thin on patience.”
Rarity was not psychic. She could not read minds to discover amazing information. However, the fact the supposedly loyal unicorn guards wore the same expression, had eyes filled with the same darkness, were speaking at exactly the same time and all their magic looked like it been the victim of an oil spill spelled out a pretty clear image to her. Something was very wrong with them and whatever was making them do this had absolutely no taste. Eyes that were just fields of black? Talk about tacky.
“Give in now, little pony. I have no wish to harm one of my new bodies.” The creature behind their eyes hissed.
There were a dozen of them, and one of her. Hardly the most difficult of mathematical equations. They were guarding the windows and the only other way out was being held shut. Rarity considered this information carefully.
“You will be spared of enduring my command of your form. Surrender now and you shall dream eternal. All your wishes will be met and you shall never have to face the harshness of reality again.” Wheedled the creature, its manner that of one attempting to get a cat out from under a couch. Rarity had done it enough times to recognise when somepony else was using it on her.
It wanted to turn her fabulously made-up eyes into tacky ink spills and make her magic look like it had been thrown in the mud.
“Answer me or face the destruction I am already visiting upon your friends!”
Rarity made her decision and smiled charmingly again. “I do appreciate the offer darling, but I’m afraid I simply can’t trust you to look after my mane properly. And, be honest, we both know that an expert’s touch would be needed and a tacky little thing like you could hardly be expected to keep things up to my standards, hmm?”
Fury ran across the possessed guards’ faces. “Very well. I’ll just fix your body after I break it!”
The myriad objects hurtled towards Rarity. Her horn glowed faintly but she knew it was futile. ‘I hope they don’t get blood everywhere.’ She thought faintly in the last few seconds she was sure were left to her. ‘But I’m not letting this monster use my body to hurt my friends. It can be break my bones and brutalise me until I’m hideous but Rarity does not abandon her friends!’
Time seemed to freeze and a voice murmured in her ear, a voice so close she could almost remember yet it remained distant in her memory.
‘I give you my perfection.’
The objects flying towards her seemed to change. Like staring at a painting of shadows-and-light hiding two images, suddenly Rarity saw things that she had somehow missed before. She saw with Perfect Sight the patterns of the weaponised debris, as though it was the most obvious thing imaginable. With a single step she moved, contorting slightly.
The objects crashed against the door behind her. Some had missed her by millimetres, one had almost brushed her mane. None had struck her.
“What?!” Shrieked the voice of one being in a dozen throats. Impossible! You’re all impossible!”
Rarity looked at the guards and Saw. Before the thing driving their bodies could recover, her horn burned anew. A piece of metal, some nameless part of a now destroyed sewing machine, shot through the air at her behest. The attack was random to Rarity’s conscious mind, a shot in the dark.
The fragment hit the closest unicorn on the neck, pressing into a nerve bundle that now seemed so very obvious to Rarity. Whatever was controlling them had flawless command over their minds and thus their body. But a mind, however smart, cannot countermand the body itself and the unicorn’s motor control failed his possessor as it flopped to floor as the nerves were struck.
What had been one moment of shock became two and suddenly the monster in their eyes saw that Rarity was smiling.
“Oh dear me,” Rarity said with the same charming smile as well over a dozen small fragments of the destroyed debris floated up around her, “You are suddenly so very exposed. Let me point out what you’ve done wrong.”
It was over in seconds. Their magic, now under the command of the dark creature in their minds, was strong and their bodies were powerful. To Rarity every gap in their armour, every weakness in their body, every imperfection was as obvious to her as the sun on a shining day. She had no idea why they were imperfect, why hitting a pony in one spot left him unconscious and hitting another in a different spot left his horn spluttering weakly, but she had no complaints.
Looking at the group of unconscious guards Rarity made a critical ‘hmmm’ sound. Her expression became worried.
“What will everypony think of me, leaving a pile of knocked out stallions in my store? Ah, the price of being beautiful.” With that thought she turned nudged the door.
Stepping into the street, Rarity recoiled as a bright light flared above her. She closed her eyes in self-defence of her vision, slowly reopening them when something thudded to the ground in front of her. Her eyelids peeling back, Rarity found herself staring at a curled up Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, darling!” She cried, running to her. ‘Poor thing is shivering. Where did she come? Surely I would have heard her flying by.’ Rarity kneeled down next to her friend, deeply concerned.
“....”
Rarity’s cocked an ear, catching something nearly too quiet to hear. She looked closer and saw that Rainbow’s lips were moving. Leaning in, she tried to work out what her seemingly unconscious friend was saying.
Just as she got close enough to hear, Rainbow Dash’s eyes flicked open. The pegasus surged upwards.
“THAT WAS AWES-ARGH!”
Both ponies fell back, eyes spinning. Rarity massaged the side of her head while Rainbow Dash rubbed her forehead.
“What the hay Rarity? That hurt!”
Rarity took affront to that, and made it quite clear. “Me? You were the one who jumped up so unexpectedly.”
“You were the one so close! What’s wrong Rarity, your prince charming turned out to be a dud so now you want a piece of the Dash?” Rainbow Dash sniggered behind a hoof, enjoying the gapping look of scandal on Rarity’s face.
“Why you- How can you even- oh you little-” The fashionista stamped a hoof and glared at her laughing friend. “I’ll get you for that Rainbow Dash, mark my words!”
A grin spread across Rainbow’s face and she nearly started laughing. “Ya wanna get me? Guess I was more right than I thought!”
Rarity was fairly certain she could feel a vein throbbing near her horn was close to popping. “Now is not the time for your little games!” She practically shrieked.
“There’s always time to tease you Rarity.” Dash laughed.
Stopping herself from reacting immediately, Rarity took a moment to think. In a far too calm voice, she said “Rainbow Dash, be a dear and look into my boutique for a moment would you?”
Warily, Rainbow took a step past her friend and peered through the ruined door. Her eyes widened at the unconscious unicorn guards strewn about the store front. Slowly, she turned to look back at Rarity.
Rarity smiled slyly at her.
“Pfft.” Looking away, Rainbow Dash tried her best to pretend it was nothing. “Well, I can teleport!”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Now, just because I can knock out a room full of guards doesn’t mean you have to make up stories to impress me.”
It was Rainbow’s turn to gap. “‘Make up stories’? I don’t do make up of any kind! I can totally teleport now. Didn’t you see me? I was in like this big...dark...cloud...thing...” She slowly ground to a halt, shivering not in excitement but at the feelings the memory gave her.
A hoof pulled her away from the building and warmth embraced.
“It’s okay Rainbow Dash, you’re out in the...well, not sunlight of course. You’re perfectly free, there’s nothing holding you back now.” Rarity told her, slightly muffled as she hugged her friend.
They stayed like that for another minute, finally pulling free when Rainbow Dash’s shivering had subsided.
“Thanks for that Rarity.” Rainbow Dash muttered, looking away.
Knowing her friend’s reluctance to partake in anything so ‘girly’ as talking about feelings, Rarity just smiled and nodded. “I’m always ready to help a friend, you know that darling. Now, as important as the fact you can apparently teleport is, I do feel we should get moving and talk about this later.”
“Good idea.” Hovering above Rarity now, Rainbow Dash looked to the sky and swore, “Pegasi, coming this way! I dunno what’s wrong with them but there were a bunch with black eyes acting all freaky.”
They began to run down the street, ducking between houses to evade detection. As they did, Rarity confirmed the same had happened to her.
“The strangest thing,” Rarity was saying as they jumped under cover as a flight of possessed pegasi flew over their heads, “Was their magic.”
“Stranger than ponies we’ve known for years and the normally cool royal guards going crazy?” asked Rainbow with a critical look.
“Well, no, but it was very strange. Their magic looked...dirty. I’m honestly not sure how else to explain it.” Rarity sighed. “I do so wish we had not split up. Twilight would surely know what could cause such a thing.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Rarity, I’m kinda more worried about the fact they’re trying to capture us.”
Rarity shrugged in silent agreement.
Looking around to make sure there was nopony around, Rainbow Dash chewed on her lip for a second. “Hey, uh, did you hear a weird voice? Like, talking about wanting your body?”
A teasing smirk appeared on Rarity’s face. “Oh, now who which one of us is-”
“Shut up!” Dash hissed, shooting Rarity a dark look. “I’m serious! I still have no idea I teleported or whatever – and I so did teleport – but before that this cloud got all dark and wrapped around me so I couldn’t get out. This voice kept whispering at me to let it possess me something.”
Rarity nodded, thinking back herself. “Just before I started seeing things – I’ll explain in a moment dear – those stallions were all talking at the same time in a very strange way. It was, oh, I can’t quite describe it....”
“Like this?”
She nodded. “Exactly, just like tha-”
Rarity and Rainbow Dash froze.
The shadows around them broke, revealing a horde of possessed ponies. All were glaring at them with the same evil intent. The ensorcelled darkness seeped away, drawing back into each of the bound of ponies now it had served its purpose.
“You may have escaped, but this time I shall show you no mercy. Prepare, little mortals, for an eternity of darkness and imprisonment within your own m-” Howled the dark thing from every direction, cut off in the middle of its threat by a barrage of custard pies coming hitting the face of every possessed Ponyvillian.
And Rarity.
“Take that, you evil-meanie-miney-moes- oh I got confused.” Pinkie dropped from above, landing in front of her friends. In her saddle-seats the Cake twins giggled at the custard-faced ponies around them. “Hi guys!”
“Pinkie...Pie....” Rarity wiped the custard away so she could glare properly.
“Oh, sorry Rarity,” giggled Pinkie, obviously not sorry as far as any watcher could spot.
The sound of custard hitting the ground en mass delayed further discussion. “Gah! You wretched little piece of FILTH!”
“Alright Pinks, what’s step two?” Rainbow Dash spread her wings and dropped into a fighting stance.
Pinkie blinked at her. “Step two?”
“Uh, yeah. Step two. Of your plan.” The pegasus’ expression fell when she saw Pinkie’s look of bafflement. “You have a plan right? Something more than ‘throw pies’.”
“Oh, that! Of course I do! ‘Throw pies, jump down to my friends!’” Pinkie beamed at them.
“Splendid.” Rarity muttered, backing away from the approach of the malevolent ponies.
“I don’t know how you mortals escaped-” Began the entity before Pinkie cut it off.
“Oh, that’s easy. I took the suspiciously spacious sewer tunnels.”
Despite the danger of their situation, Rainbow had to correct her friend. “Err, Pinkie? Ponyville doesn’t have sewer tunnels.”
Pinkie frowned. “Really? Huh, then where did I get this manhole cover. Or is that ponyhole?.” She muttered, pulling out a large metal disc.
“Argh! Enough! I’m going to beat the lot of you until you can’t move!” Putting actions to words the pony horde leapt, teeth bared in viciously snarls.
“Dream on!” Rainbow Dash landed between her friends, wings spread wide. She wrapped a fetlock around each of her friend’s hooves. Just like the time in the cloud, Rainbow Dash felt everything around her fall away. Light and sound had no meaning to her, unable to touch her. She was free in the most complete sense.
To the eyes of her friends and their attacker her wings blazed with light. When the light faded the mares and foals were gone.
***
A flash of light and Rarity found herself in a horrible, horrible place.
On the ground.
The dirty ground.
With speed that would have impressed Rainbow Dash had she been paying attention Rarity was on her hooves within an instant. She had already begun brushing her coat before she realised where they were.
“Sweet Apple Acres?” She muttered to herself. They were indeed in the front yard of the Apple family orchard. Rainbow was spread on the ground, panting and occasionally shifting weakly while Pinkie was...
...changing diapers.
“There ya go! All snugly-wuggly in nice clean diapers.” She cooed to the twins, who gargled happily in response.
Lifting her head, Rainbow Dash gave Rarity a tired but cocky smirk. “See...told ya...c’n tel’port.” Her head drooped as she spoke.
“I...yes, darling, you can. Remarkable.” Taking a deep breath, Rarity wondered if the world had any more surprised waiting for her besides friends and neighbours trying to attack her and a pegasus teleporting from the middle of Ponyville all the way out to Sweet Apple Acres.
‘Question later, now we really need to find Applejack. She was coming here to get her brother to start searching the farm. I hope they didn’t get her too.’
Opening her mouth to ask Pinkie to start looking, Rarity’s attention was drawn to the barn door that creaked open. Spinning in place her horn began to glow. Rainbow Dash was clearly exhausted and Pinkie had foals in her hooves, meaning their protection was up to Rarity.
Her sight had begun to change again, showing her the weaknesses in the barn structure when the door pushed all the way open.
“Am Ah happy ta see y’all.” A familiar drawl, distorted strangely, rang out to them. Rarity gasped in shock and Pinkie whistled in appreciation.
A shiny silver pony walked from the barn. The armour that covered her was beautiful, perhaps the most impressive metal work Rarity had ever laid eyes upon. It was a work of art yet somehow familiar.
A silver-clad hoof reached up to steady the unconscious red stallion thrown over her back. Rarity’s vision seemed to waver as she looked upon the armour. Everything else was flawed in some way, but the armour was perfect. Completely, impossibly perfect. Her gaze was drawn to the bloodied Big Mac and this time her gasp was one of horror.
“Pinkie, cover the foals' eyes.” She snapped, glancing back to find Pinkie already hurriedly turning the twins away.
“Ah need a little help here.” Applejack said, stepping closer. Her voice was shaky, and Rarity suspected she was looking the worse for wear under that impossible armour. “Ah can carry him easy but he’s draggin’ somethin’ fierce an’ I don’t wanna hurt him anymore than he has been.”
Rarity’s magic began to adjust Big Mac as quickly as she could. As she did, Rarity looked through the eye-holes to meet her friend’s gaze. “Applejack, darling, whatever happened to you? Armour? Where did you get that and...your brother...”
As much as she did not want to voice it, Rarity could see something. Somehow she could see a shadow slithering beneath the stallion’s skin, unnatural and unwanted by its host.
Applejack shook her head. “Ah don’t know Rarity, Ah just don’t know. I think...I think there’s something controllin’ him. Him and all those guards.” She jerked her head back towards the barn.
Rarity did not bother looking in. She could imagine what she would find. “First my vision, then Rainbow Dash teleporting and now this. What in Equestria is going on?”
Beneath her helm Applejack’s eyebrows rose sceptically. “RD teleportin’? Was that tha big flash just now? Guess it musta been, ‘less you gals managed to come sprintin’ after we split up an’ picked up the foals on the way. What’s with that anyway?”
“I couldn’t just leave them, duh!” Pinkie called, joining them in adjusting Mac so that he was draped without dragging his head on the ground. “Not with Mr and Mrs Cake acting all evil.”
“The Cakes as well?” Sighing, Rarity shook her head. “This is madness. Do you think Trixie is behind this?”
Applejack shrugged, careful not to upset her brother. “Ah can’t imagine that trickster managin’ ta pull off playin’ games with the entire town’s minds. But this ain’t chance. Whatever’s causin’ this has to be related.”
“Let...let it try...” They looked down, finding Rainbow Dash forcing herself up. “I don’t care who it is. I’ll show whoever did this what I do to ponies who hurt my friends!” She managed without too many pants. Reaching out, she planted a hoof between her friends.
Rarity let a smile grow. “Rainbow is right. It matters not who did this, but we will show them that we’re not just going to let them do whatever they want with our town!” Gently Rarity’s hoof joined Rainbow’s.
“We’ll save tha entire town if we have to!” Applejack grinned within the armour, placing a shining hoof atop the others’. “Ah don’t know where this armour came from an’ Ah don’t care so long as it lets me give ‘em a good kickin’!”
Pinkie put her hoof on last. To the shock of her friends her smile was gone. On her face was an expression of utter seriousness.
“Nopony is taking Pumpkin and Pound’s parents away from them. Not while Pinkie Pie has anything to say about it!” Her gaze became, against all odds, a glare.
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Cross my heart!”
“Hope ta fly!”
“Stick a cupcake in my eye!”
“You girls know what that means?” Pinkie smiled at last. “That’s a Pinkie Promise and nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise!”
Her voice became unexplainably echoing, no longer bound to mere sound waves, and her words resonated through the air. A weight fell upon them all, binding them to their promise. Pinkie grinned as her friends stared at her in shock.
***
The Mayor stared emptily into the air in front of her, not seeing the town hall before her. The only thing of interest was the purple unicorn on the ground before it, shackled by creations of pure shadow.
“Your friends may have escaped my minions, but they won’t stay lucky for very long.” The Mayor hissed in a voice that was not her own. “They have made a fatal mistake, and at last I shall take what is rightfully mine. Soon all six of you will be my hosts and with the power of the Elements at my command Equestria will bow to me. Soon, the Nightmare will claim victory!”
In the farm yard, a shadow passed beneath Big Macintosh’s eyelid. His ear twitched, but all he heard was the laughter of a nightmare as it used his body to commit the ultimate betrayal against his sister.
***
Wow, done at last. So glad to finally be updating after so long. Well, I hope this provided some satisfaction to those of you who wanted to see some action. I glossed over a lot because I wasn’t sure I could write a pony-fighting scene that would do it justice (geddit? Justice, Justice Itself, oh what a wit!) and instead decided that it would be best for people to decide how they wanted Applejack to have beaten up a barn full of guards with her magic armour on their own.
And no, I’m not just taking the cheap route. I’m much better at writing violence between things with hands, or arms, or claws at least.
As ever comment, thumbs up if you haven’t already and fav if you want. Thanks for reading, see you in the comments/next chapter.
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AMAZING! I cant wait for more!
Rainbow is a teleporter. That's one way to be free from all bonds. wait until she learns to spam it. I knew that Rarity had a hyper awareness but bullet time as well? That's cool. I still hope she gains some sort of breaking point technique as well.
Missed a dash, there.
Wait, why does the Title say it's act 1?
Well, so much for sleeping.
Great work once again. I am really liking how you are using Tyrael's power to allow the ponies to exceed the limitations of their mortal forms and slip free of the Nightmare's grasp without breaking the natural progression of the story, and I also like how it cannot comprehend what is really dooming its efforts to capture them despite all its power.
1566346 1566410 I know how that feels.
1566379 Didn't mean to make that bullet time, really. Its more about the ability to see perfection and flaws and she just had a moment to move into the 'flaw' in the pattern of the oncoming attack.
1566391 Nitpicker!
1566463 There's another reason its going generally badly: its insane. Plans only last so long when you're a lunatic.
...lunatic...geddit?
Ok Why the Buck are the mares being so damn dense its almost to the point where if you threw a charged fire ruby in front of twilight sparkle she would stop to question what it was rather than instantly recognizing it and trying to get away from it. I mean they should all recognize the situation automatically as a trap and try their damnedest to escape.
dense and stupid that's all i have to say about them for now I mean Applejack should have even left her brother behind to make sure his betrayal wouldn't ensure their defeat.
thats my only tiff at the moment. otherwise good job.
cheers
1566471
But I was right about the hyper awareness, right?
*edit since I feel like triple posting would be overkill*
Is this Applejack's armor?
d2store.net/images/big/tyraelsmight.jpg
1566471
About your second comment:
Wow that was intense, boss!
Applejack's armor rating is in the 4-5 digit range.
)
Rarity now has 100% crit rate.
Rainbow can teleport ... obviously ...
And Pinkie has the word of god? (still don't get her ability
A pony riding a bear ... just wanted to point that little bit out.
And on another note:
Tyrael invents bear cavalry!!! Druids and bears alike probably won't like the Archangel's new jobs for them when he gets back.
Ah, the Nightmare is it?
We're talking about the Nightmare as in Nightmare Moon Nightmare, right?
You know what, don't answer that. I want to guess.
Awesome update as always, your fic and "Cuatro" are 2 of my all time favs right now, just be hind "Legend of Echo". I'm just hoping that after this little scuffle Fluttershy finally corners Pally into telling her and the others about how he actually saved them. It'll be seriously epic once they realize just how ....well, epic, Pally actually is. And who else is wondering how much Fluttershy is enjoying riding on Pally's back?
Below are some corrections, saw a few more but couldn't remember where.
The image of a powering creature - The image of a powerful creature
Soon all six of you be my - Soon all six of you will be my
1566489 They have no reason to expect an ambush or trap, none at all. Their thoughts are also occupied by the fact a big magic crystal is going to explode and destroy Ponyville, which really is rather distracting. Applejack had no reason to suspect her brother would lay a trap for her, and really, she should abandon her brother after he received a brutal beating at the hooves of armoured, strong earth pony guards? Maybe it wasn't made clear enough, he's bleeding heavily and has at least a few cracked ribs. Her just leaving him would be incredibly out of character for her. Its her brother, even if it might be a good idea she would likely refuse to just abandon him.
You think its obvious from your perspective, which the characters don't share. What reason do they have to think it would be a trap? Rarity realised as soon as she stepped into her store but there was only so much she could do right away, Applejack would never expect something like that to involve her brother plus she doesn't have X-ray vision to see into the barn, RD can hardly be expected to predict a cloud turning into something evil or ponies she trusts to turn on her and Twilight has the same thing. Remember, the darkness only flashed briefly over Mayor Mare's eyes when Twilight wasn't looking at her, as way to inform the readers as to what was going on. Until they got to Ponyville they had no idea they were dealing with possession of any kind.
Now that the long reply is out of the way:
1566490 Pretty much. She can see flaws in just about anything, for one thing, even if its a less literal flaw such as with the objects thrown at her. So long as she can visual it as a collective, like say a bunch of rocks are thrown at her she'll be able to see any 'flaw' in their course so she can avoid them IF she looks at it as a group of connected objects. If she looks at them as individual rocks, her attention will be drawn to the structural (if that counts for rocks) of the rock themselves.
1566637 Pinkie's ability will be explained more when Tyrael gets involved. Its more nebulous than others, a tad metaphorical since he gave her something not exactly....usual or straight forward. He gave her an Angelic Voice, and what that means for her may be different than what most angels would have. I'm choosing to go a more metaphorical route with angels and their traits than in normally portrayed in Diablo.
Also: bear mounts are the best mounts. My dwarf always rides his bear mount from Heroic Zul'Aman dungeon, because nothing beats a dwarf on a bear.
1566648 Alrighty then, no answer for you! I mean, I thought it was obvious but....
1566774 Ah, that was intended to be "towering" but it seems to have slipped through. Thanks for the catch (and if you read this far down Nealend, yes, thanks for catching mistakes as well. See, you didn't get left out), I'll fix those up.
Its great to hear you like my story so much, it really is. I hope you continue to enjoy it. With any luck, enough others will agree with you by the time I finish this story that someone will put it up in the TVTropes MLP:FiM recommended fics. I would consider setting fire to something to see that.
Fluttershy, enjoying it? Well *coughshesoiscough* I couldn't possibly comment. Although eventually I might put related stuff to that in the collection of one-shot side stories to Justice Itself I'll start posting at the ending of Act II. All such business will be dealt with there, where it won't get in the way of people who don't want to read it or risk the structural integrity of the story itself.
1566811 Well, since you posted that on the 1st chapter I hope you went on to read and enjoy the rest. Please let me know if you do.
Nightmare's jimmies have been rustled.
Good god that was awesome. I've been waiting for this, and it didn't disappoint.
ok, RD teleporting i didn't see coming
so awesome!! 
the rest: pure yays
I'm actively looking for a reason to say, "Get on the bear!" now.
Lots of good tension here, especially due to the developing powers of the cast. I'd imagine a little more incredulity during those scenes, but I guess you could argue that pondering those details "wouldn't be the time" considering the dire circumstances. Rarity has Jedi Reflexes, Rainbow Dash can quantum shift, Pinkie has Word of God, AJ's armor is... armor, and Flutters has laser-guided empathy. I'm fighting to put up a "MOAR!" pic right now, especially because i am in the middle of class right now.
My only real question is about that cliffy. Act of betrayal? My first thought was that he would attack or try to kill her. He couldn't hurt her, being as his body is mortal and, therefore, useless against her armor. My next thought was... rape (God help me), but I don't think you're going that dark. I guess the act of attacking itself would make AJ lose confidence? I'm not sure what's going to happen here.
GET ON THE BEAR!
1566637
She's got a compelling voice (TvTropes link). If you don't want to follow the link here is the basics: Her word is law and if she tells you to do something, you're going to do it! If she tells you to stand on your head you're going to stand on your head, if she tells you to go jump off a cliff you're going to go walk to a cliff and jump off, if she tells you to smile you're going to smile.
1568023
, she has Morgan Freeman's voice now ... nifty.
So basically
My hunch was right, more or less. XP
Thanks for that, but no more tvtropes links please that site is like wikias to me. So much free time drained.
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844756 Autocharth, why are you soooo awesome? You are the Archangel of entertainment, my friend... or would that be Prime Evil?
1567664 The act of betrayal referred to is his body being used to spy on them. Even if it tried to use his body, its been rather damaged. The Nightmare just isn't very good at looking after its toys.
1568096 I do believe you mean TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life. Also: Morgan Freeman's voice, ah that made my day. Only 9am though, so off to an early start there.
1568912
Last question:
Is this Paladin's actual eye color, or are you subtly hinting a gradual return of his powers?
Ohh lord help us all, Pinkie now has a way to enforce Pinkie Promises! We're doomed! On another note, I look forwards to their incredulity after this is over, and perhaps Tyrael's explanation. How to explain to a mortal Pony that you're actually a being made of Light and Sound and saved you previously by giving away parts of your soul. . . We still haven't seen Twilight's powers either, making them the most mysterious so far.
1569035
I think I know where this is going. Paladin once mentioned to avoid lightning-based magic spells, mostly because he, as Tyrael, was proficient in that reguard. My theory is that the Apex Crystal will be activated, but Twilight is going to step in with all the fury of Thor. With all that power she has and the power she's gained, she might be on an even level with the Crystal itself.
1568989 That's their actual colour, which is rather odd visually for everyone else.
1569035 It would be something of an awkward conversation. Then again, I'm sure he'd find anyway.
1569605 You know, the fun thing with all the comments discussing or wondering what is going to happen, you could be right. You could, by chance, predict exactly where I'm going with something. Or maybe I see an idea I like and just go 'well, you guessed right!' and use it.
The fun thing is there is absolutely no way for you to know if you were right before I read your comment.
Which isn't an actual confirmation by the way, I don't want to ruin the surprise. You might be right, but you might just as easily be waaaaaaaaaaay off. Guess you'll just have to wait to find out.
1569605 Additional:
Paladin warned her because, while I believe Tyrael to be skilled in it, Ice and Lightning are apparently the dominant elemental powers among angels. For the most part demons use fire related magic, with the except of everyone's favourite mortal-hating Archangel Imperius, who is thus far the only Angel shown to make extensive use of fire based powers. I like to go with the idea that he, being an Archangel, is slightly different from the rest. With Tyrael, we frankly don't get to see the full extent of his powers while in full Archangel form. I attest his defeat by the not-yet-fully manifested Diablo and Ba'al in the the Tomb of Tal'Rasha to him being outnumbered and unwilling to risk using his full powers without drawing the attention of the Angiris Council to the fact he was on the mortal plane defying their laws.
As I've worked it out, assuming the Angiris Council and the Seven Great Evils are meant to be equal opposite forces (although from the fact when all 7 worked together they nearly breached the Diamond Gate during the Eternal Conflict until they fell out over the spoils they hadn't won yet I take it that the balance is in Hell's favour) there is a different concentration of power. Assuming (annoying word but its all we have) an even split between the Angiris Council, with the forces of Hell the Prime Evils (Diablo, Ba'al and Mephisto) appear to be an order of magnitude stronger than the Lesser Evils. However you work it out they would generally be stronger than an individual Archangel. I do remember that Diablo and Imperius seem to have fought often enough that Imperius assumed he could still fight him one-on-one, which suggests my theory might not be exact. Or maybe Imperius was just that arrogant.
Regardless, as far as I'm concerned while Archangels aren't quite a match for a Prime Evil, as the Wrath animation shows, their power lies in their unity.
That animation is also good for seeing how cool Tyrael is too, even if the wings in it aren't quite right.
1568912
Wikis ruined it first but yeah that is pretty much spot on.
761574
YOU FOOL! YOU JUST HAD TO TEMPT FATE DIDN'T YOU
1569677 You enjoy taunting us don't you.
I expect that Twi's overall magic strength has increased, and her horn is now extremely sharp. What else she got though. . . Hmmnnn. . . I wonder what kind of Offensive spells Unicorns have now that I think about it.
1574525 Yes. Yes I do.
Good stuff. And about Twi.... I don't think that ponies have much offensive magic in use except of sleeping spells and telekinetic ones. Rest is probably closed in vault and keep safe from ponydom by Princessess(I don't think they need using such spells, they raw power can do quite damage I think). Buut.... Twi is going to burn something with holy light! Or something like this...
Well, I've read to the whole thing in pretty much one sitting (Monday morning was a bitch because of that) but it was worth it.
I loved the premise, even if at first glance I'd have thought Diablo and MLP wouldn't mix well. I suppose that if Blizzard already made Tyrael mortal, any sort of mortal would do. And let me tell you, your reasoning and development of the character as such beat Blizzard's, hands down (I'm no great fan of what they did with their franchises). D3 gameplay was a train wreck but surprisingly, your story makes me want to ignore the demo and play the game just to get more of a context on the characters. The story can't be worse than Starcraft 2's.
I like how you've handled Tyrael and all the problems a mortal body with limited power would represent for a being who's lived for eons and been nigh unstoppable for most of that time. You handled the necessary complications in relating to mortals beyond omens and portents very well too, and while Big Mac, Caramel and Spike wouldn't have been my first picks for his anchor to mortality they did a very good job of it. Especially Mac and Spike, with whom I think Tyrael can relate.
I wonder at your glossing over the sex issue at the start when you made such an effort to point out how disconnected Tyrael's psyche was from what his body told him. With the attention he quickly garnered from the town's female population, I'd have thought something would try something with him.
My only real hangup with your world building would be why all the secrecy around Tyrael's nature. Given that Equestria is governed by two immortals and the girls in particular are used to dealing with them (even if they're quite in awe of them), hiding the fact that Tyrael is at the very least their equal seemed contrived. At least Twilight ought to have been told, I imagine. Especially if she was going to house him and nobody was entirely sure how his powers would manifest inside a mortal shell.
My two favourite chapters by far were the ones where Tyrael saves the girls from the roots and when they remember those gifts to combat the Nightmare's minions. You put so much emotion into those two and emulated Tyrael's character so well that I got goosebumps. I'm not kidding, it was the good stuff.
Tyrael's angelic essence in the girls is also a great twist that's added a lot of depth to them. The different ways in which the Nightmare attacked them inside Twilight's house goes a long way to help character development along, too. In that regard, confess myself surprised at liking what you did with Dash; because in the early aftermath of the attack it looked like you were wringing the poor pegasus just for the hell of it, but the way she's been growing out of it and how her friends rallied around her to help her along (especially Applejack!) has really turned me around on that. Kudos to you for good drama.
Where the story goes after the current arc is resolved and whether or not someone finally jumps Paladin's bones I cannot say, but I expect good things in the future :)
I do have two pet peeves to comment on: You consistently use "then" when you should use "than" and viceversa. Normally, I wouldn't comment on such a thing, as it is rather common, but It stands out in your story a lot because you put a lot of care in your grammar otherwise; particularly in Tyrael's lines. They also tend to boast some more complex vocabulary than is the norm and after all this attention to detail that, little thing does become rather jarring when reading.
The second is a bit more complex and I think it's a matter of opinion, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt. I feel that most of the times she's on page you've made Pinkie annoying for the sake of being annoying. I'll agree that she is (and most of the times I can't stand her in the show) but I have to say that most of the times she's being annoying, she has a point. I've never written pony fiction but I think, no, I know that writing Pinkie well is a difficult thing to do. However, making her so annoying to the other characters that you have to knock her unconscious to get from point A to point B makes me think that you're doing her a disservice, especially after episodes like Griffon the Brush Off or the Swarm of the Century where she shows that she can buckle up and get things done without the shenanigans when things need to get done.
Overall I think you've done a great job. Here's waiting for the next update :)
1577281 Wow, I dream of getting as long and thorough replies are you've left and I love it.
Addressing your peeves first, I'll explain the Pinkie one. I'm not trying to make Pinkie annoying, actually. I rather like Pinkie, and not just for the silliness. It might be that trying to write scenes involving both Tyrael, who is definitely NOT at all silly, and Pinkie, who while she can do things that need to be done has a silly personality. She just doesn't change how she talks, whether being serious (as when she was getting the twins with a building of possessed ponies on her tail) or not. But thank you for saying though, I'll give it a look and see if I did make Pinkie like that. If I did, it was unintentional. The 'knocking her out thing' was not one of my finer moments but I'm afraid I have to blame life for that, since when I wrote that part i was a bit strained at the time and never got around to fixing it. It was also, in story, because she was getting annoying because of her imagination getting away from her with her concern for the inhabitants of Ponyville. It was less 'so annoying' and more 'there's nothing we can do, she's getting worse every second as her worries grow, let's just give her some peace'.
I dunno, I think I need to rewrite that part.
The 'then-than' thing is an annoying personal fault. I understand the difference, but somehow it just slips through. I'll make a greater effort, because I'm honestly appalled at myself for it, long before you commented.
As for the world-building and secrecy, I opted for that route for a number of reasons. Let me just say, there are some very important reasons I can't get into yet. Spoilers, you see. But I will give you the other reasons. For one thing, Celestia knew Tyrael was not the sort of creature to do evil. The process of making his 'shell' meant interacting with his essence, and that was basically looking at his soul. He is Justice incarnate, and she trusted what she felt from that. The other is that she didn't WANT them to be in awe of him. She wanted him to see a more 'normal' (for a given value of 'normal' obviously) view of their world and society. Besides, at the time Tyrael wasn't as strong as them. In my head, full power Tyrael would be able to defeat Celestia so he is stronger than her. But at his full power. He didn't want anyone to know his full powers while he was in a state of weakness either. For him, being mortal was basically like having all your arms and legs broken, virtually defenseless.
Simply put, Celestia knows a lot more than she's showing. Let me just had I hate the insidious 'plotting and scheming' Celestia portayals, or the ones which seem to randomly make her in some way ruthless or underhanded (underhoofed?). Actually, the ones I hate the most are the ones where apparently she doesn't like gay ponies, especially when the writer has Luna in favour of them. Luna is the one with an old-fashioned mind set, Celestia is all about love and niceness and such.
Okay, bit of a rant there. Moving on.
Now, to the good bits! I am absolutely thrilled to hear you like it enough to want to give the game a go. I wasn't all that unhappy with it, but then I only got it out of my WoW annual pass and wasn't all that overly excited about it. It was a nice benefit, but I wasn't going to shell out a hundred bucks for the game and hadn't been waiting since D2 for 3 to come out. I was more interested in the lore anyway, listening to every conversation, finding every bit of lore I could. EVERYTHING!
I think nearly anything can be crossovered, if you put thought into it. You just have to look for angles, search for something which gives you an opening and pounce on it without breaking the suspension of disbelief.
With the problems of a mortal body, that was mostly from me thinking while playing D3 "Wait, mortal now. Uh, has someone bothered to tell Tyrael he needs to eat and crap now? Because wow, is he going to be surprised!" and such. I couldn't resist imaging how his ancient being, of pure form who needed no nourishment, would take having to devour the flesh of creatures. Because that is a rather demonic type of thing from an Angel's point of view. They don't need flesh, at least not like mortals and demons do. This is something totally, completely new to him.
I think I moved away from the sex thing because I just lost my nerve and wasn't sure how to portray it properly. That sort of things may lead close to 'romance', or at least romantic feelings and such, and not only have I not written that before I fear it would intrude on the problem. For the more physical angle, Tyrael dealing with that sort of attraction, I might look at it more in the story but at the moment he is simply ignoring by force of will and sense of physical attraction he feels. He says he's just a mortal now, but part of him just can't accept it and fights to remain 'aloft' from mortals.
However, I have recently considered something. I don't want to drive off readers with sudden romantic stuff but I can't help but feel its an important thing Tyrael would suddenly be struck by. He has a real body now, one which isn't a perfect form controlled by his will. I don't want to drive off readers, but this is MY story and I think its an important factor in his current existence. I'm compromising, and intend to keep that in the side-stories I'll be posting in a separate but gathered story the moment Act II's final chapter goes up. I have it all ready to go, just have to click publish and hope the mods get it up within a close time frame. But that still feels like its being excluded from the story, which... argh.
Suffice to say, this is something I've been thinking a lot about. Who he would have 'emotionally interaction stuff' as I said to my pre-reader, well, I think the particular pony I'd go with is obvious. Walking in the garden, hint hint.
But about ponies trying something with him, yes, I'm going to try to cover that. Secondary and background characters, for the most part who have their eye on the big muscley hero of the hour.
This is long, isn't it? Well, I'm enjoying writing it so let's continue.
With Spike, Big Mac and Caramel I decided on that because A) I like Spike and Mac and wanted a reason to include them and B) because I felt like making a version of Caramel and using it/him. Another factor for Spike is that he's living where Tyrael is, and I think he's underused. Hell, I've not used him as much as I want. Big Mac, well, he's at the place Tyrael is spending time too (and with that, well, its a place where physical strength and labour is useful) plus he's untalkative so he provides a foil to Spike, who would probably want to talk about stuff when he's hanging out with Tyrael.
As for Caramel, well, I just felt like it.
I did feel a bit bad about doing that stuff to RD, but I always do it with a reason. And this time the reason was not petty amusement. Think of it this way, she's one of my favourite characters and I want her to do something awesome. I want them all to, but her especially. You can rise far higher if you've already fallen. Although that's not quite the case with Trixie, since I'm more neutral on her, but it is with RD. Of course her friends would try to help, they are her friends and, as Tyrael said, Loyalty is a two-way street. Which was all rather the point of the whole thing, that and I found it interesting writing in those scenes where RD reacts badly to stuff.
I never screw characters over just for the hell of it. At the very least I'd do it because it was funny, but more likely it has a reason in the plot. I detest character bashing, and I hope to not be guilty of it. I'm sure I may have been unintentionally, somewhere, but I try not to.
There could be more to write, but raid is about to start. Just let me thank you for the amazing comment, its the kind I love to receive the most. I hope you keep reading and I also hope any future comments are as...well, commenting as this one. You're really let me know what you think, the good and just as importantly the bad.
I finally got around to reading it!
Space that should be there.
Space just before the closing quote.
No full stop after bear.
1587234 You finally got around and all I get is 3 errors that were missed? I feel hurt! Wounded! Struck down in the cruelest manner! Hehe. Well...I wish I was less used to this. Still, any thoughts on the chapter itself?
1587589
Would it make you feel better if I said your writing flows like the harmonious mixture of pineapple juice and camel seed as it seeps down the back of a Russian concubine?
My favourite part of it was definitely Pinkie's first scene. Where is the comedy tag, 'cause the way you write this is hilarious! Something that did stick out to me was Applejack being a bit eager to beat the living hell out of those guards. She'd already seen that her brother had been possessed, but she didn't hold back when beating them down.
Clearly they're doing it cause they want to.
1589508 It does make me feel a better. And want a concubine.
I dunno, sometimes I feel I should have the comedy tag, sometimes I don't. I blame the fact I read Terry Pratchett a lot, I end up adding stuffing which is comedic in nature simply by how I write rather than sitting down and intentionally writing something comedic.
Well, she was a bit angry. Yes, they were possessed but she didn't exalted have any other means of disabling them. I will say she just knocked them all unconscious, she didn't go around breaking limbs or anything for fun or revenge. They'll be bruised and unhappy when this is all over. Physical violence was the only feasible means of stopping them, although AJ was I admit a bit eager. Seeing her brother beaten bloody on the ground in front of her can do that.
1590600
She already knows that he's possessed and terrified of not being in control of his own body and of being used to hurt her. It would be to a lesser extent seeing as only Mac is related, but the guards have also lost control of their own physical form and are being forced to attack her and almost kill an innocent pony. What my problem is, is that she isn't applying the same knowledge to them.
1591156 You're right, she isn't. She's angry and upset. Maybe its not right of her, but what else is she suppose to do? Let them attack her until they be exhausted? Her brother needs help, and she is focusing on that. It seems perfectly natural to, in that situation, beat up the guards. Because, as I said, there's not much else she can do to stop them. They'll recover, but in the mean time she can get her brother to safety where he isn't bleeding to death.
Whatever is controlling them is getting the message. Maybe I should have had her say that she'd teach the thing controlling them what happens when you mess with her family, but meh. And remember, you the reader know it definitely posession/mind control. For all Applejack knows these could be changlings in disguise who used magic on her brother. She doesn't know he's being possesed. Something controlled his body, yes, and might be controlling the guards. All she knows is that they were attacking and her brother. If you have a better way for her to subdue them without taking so long that Mac bleeds out, I'm all ears. Her brother acted against the control, whereas these guys aren't so it would not be unreasonable for someone in the story, someone lacking the reader's knowledge, to assume they might not be victims.
I really don't know what else you expect her to do in this situation. They clearly aren't going to talk this out and have brutal, violent intentions at the very least.
1591288
I'm not suggesting that you change what she does, what she physically does is fine. I just thought she was a little too 'blood thirsty'. There was no regret for hurting them, no holding back, just 'You hurt my family, I am going to end you.", and from where I was sitting, it didn't look like it was directed solely at the Nightmare.
I don't know. In this universe love is a very powerful thing.
1591351 Well, personally I disagree about her sounding blood thirsty. I know blood thirsty dialogue. For example
That is bloodthirsty. It may be a personal perception then, differing between people.
1591383
Ok, not 'blood-thirsty' blood-thirsty, but the 'over eagerness to beat them up' kind of blood-thirsty. You know what I mean!
1591383Khorne much?
I regret that I have but one thumb to give to this story.
1673583 Really? I have two, at least last time I checked. I have one of my right hand, and one on my left. They're really quite useful. I mock animals with them. But seriously, good to hear you like the story.
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This is madness.
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
2143682 You're doing it wrong.
This is Equestria!
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