A More Subtle Touch

by Reykan

In Which Everything Goes Sideways.

Twilight Sparkle felt...wrong for some reason.

She couldn't put her hoof on it, but something was definitely off with the world. Perhaps there was a wild-magic front blowing in from the Everfree again? Perhaps it was just an infection? Perhaps it-

*Thud*

The mare slowly picked herself up off the floor, grumbling and attempting to ignore the snickering of her helper. She'd already cast a detection spell on herself and it had come back negative. She knew that Discord was in town visiting Fluttershy and, of all ponies, Max, but she couldn't shake the idea that this was somehow connected. Nothing like this just happened, not without...

'Okay, sometimes things do just happen here,' the mare corrected herself, shuddering as the memories of the 'rubber duckie incident' flashed through her mind. It was completely possible that the draconequus was actually not messing with her, and that she'd picked up an infection of the inner ear. After all, that would explain her sense of balance disappearing like, like Dash when there was work to be done.

Alright, that was mean. Still, it brought a small smile to her own face. The changeling was a pain in the flank sometimes, but he had some good ideas for cheering yourself up sometimes. Most just had to taken with 'a grain of salt' as he put it. Or in some cases, a full cube. Seriously, what species keeps so many grotesque sayings? Skin a cat? Thank Celestia Fluttershy hadn't been around for that session, the poor mare would have had an aneurism.

"Spike, I'm headed over to the Ponyville Medical Clinic to get my ear looked at. I think I may have an infection, since my balance is so compromised today. Take care of things while I'm-*Thunk*

Once more the purple alicorn's face made itself intimate with a solid object, this time the door to her castle's library. Once more, her assistant grabbed his snout, doing his best to hold it shut lest his chuckles devolve into full-blown laughter. Once more, the purple alicorn decided it was best to ignore Spike's antics in favor of getting to the medical clinic. The faster she received proper medical attention, the sooner she'd stop running into or tripping over things.

*Thunk, thud, crash*

"I should have gone back to bed after I tripped on my blanket," the mare groused, staring at the ceiling after a painful tumble down a flight of stairs.

<-(0)->

Twilight wobbled down the streets, shaking her head every now and again as everything and everypony seemed to list to the left.

"Hi Twilight!" an exuberant shout echoed from across the street. The purple princess sighed. Her developing headache didn't need the help.

"Whatchu doin' Twi? Huh? Did you see Dissy's visiting? Oh I wanted to have a party for him, but he just said he was in town to see his friends. How mean is that? I mean, aren't we all friends? I actually said that, and he just rolled his eyes and patted me on the head saying it was alright. What's alright? I didn't really get it, but Max said it was nothing to worry about and-"

The stream of words stopped as Twilight shoved her hoof in the pink pony's mouth. It was likely unsanitary but sometimes it was the only way to stop the rushing tide of ideas Pinkie spewed.

Removing her hoof from Pinkie's mouth, Twilight tried to explain her situation.

"I'm not feeling well right now*thud* Pinkie. I've tripped seven times now just coming from the castle, and I've been running into doorframes and tripping on the slightest things since earlier. I'm going to see if any of the Ponyville medical staff can check my ears. Magic scans, or at least the kinds I use, often have a difficult time picking up microbial infections."

"Oh. Oh! If you're not feeling well, why didn't you say so? I'm sure I can whip up something to cheer you up in a jiffy!" Pinkie shouted, beginning to bounce in place. "I'll bring you something neat-o and sweet-o after your check-in! I'll even bring something for Spike and Peewee and Owlowiscious. Oh, and watch out for any pranks from Discord and Max. Dash overheard Max offering to teach Discord about subtle pranks."

"Wait a minute, Pinkie," Twilight called out while raising a hoof. "Why would you say check-in? It's called a check-up."

Pinkie stopped bouncing, putting a hoof to her chin.

"Ya know, I thought they were called that, but every time I told somepony I was going to the doctor, they asked if I was going to check in. I don't get it, but everypony keeps saying it so I thought maybe I was wrong. Thanks for the clear up-ing, Twi!"

As the pink party pony pronked off to procure her products of palatable pleasure, the purple princess pondered the possibility of being pranked.

"It would be just the kind of thing he'd try, too. Max is a lot more subtle then Discord, but the two often get along like two peas in a pod...or like Pinkie and coffee..."

Yes, this definitely warranted a secondary scan. Concentrating on her ears and the balance centers of her head, she scanned them fully for any kind of magic that wasn't her own, not just Discord's magic. Sure enough there was a very subtle hint of something right inside her head, so subtle in fact that even with a full-powered scanning spell she nearly missed it. Dispelling the magic had the instant effect of a wave of vertigo assaulting her as her balance was finally released from whatever effect the spell was inducing.

"I'm going to destroy those two," Twilight muttered, her mane flickering slightly as a few stray embers floated away.

<-(0)->

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Discord said, dispelling the orb they'd been watching Twilight through.

"Yea. I told you it would work, Discord," Max the changeling said, his saddlebags weighed down with supplies. "Sometimes you just need to go for a different approach. If you keep doing the same style of things, you'll get predictable. I refuse to allow a master of chaos to work with stale material."

Discord just nodded, silently agreeing.

"Well, now that the princess of happy thoughts is looking to kill us, what shall we do?"

"I'm headed to a nearby hive for a break from pony madness and to do some teaching," the stallion answered. "The queen there, she was asking about my infiltration techniques and how I manage to harvest so much emotion. Should be interesting to see if she actually takes my advice. If nothing else, I can pay for a hive-chamber for a week or two. I'll collect on the bet if we survive the fallout."

"What about me?"

"Dude, you can teleport across the country," Max said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure you can find a deserted island to hide on or something. Hell, you could just, can you teleport into the future or something? Skip her alert phase?"

The draconequus opened his mouth to respond before stopping. With a snap of his talon he was gone, leaving Max the only viable target of alicorn rage in the immediate vicinity. Sensing a large source of said rage quickly approaching, he donned a disguise that Twilight would never be able to be angry with, much less suspect of wrongdoing.

"-wear when I find those two, I'm going to- Oh! Fluttershy, have you seen Discord or Max?" Twilight asked him, looking about for her targets.

"Um, no. Not since earlier. Sorry Twilight," Max answered quietly with a shake of his, now her, head. Nobody was ever mad at Fluttershy. He'd watched. Literally seen a mare spewing malice for all living things cross the butterscotch pegasus' path and give Fluttershy a smile and kind greeting before going back to her tirade.

"Oh, ok. If you see them, let me know. I owe them for a prank. Oh, I've been meaning to try that test. No, going to be using the big needles this time. Prank me, will he? I'll show him what's what in-" the mare wandered off, muttering darkly.

Such a shame he wasn't going to be able to make their next meeting. Sadly, Max was allergic to pain. Deathly so. Yes, it was a perfect time to wander into the dangerous Everfree forest in search of a hive that may or may not actually care about his harvesting techniques. Worst case scenario he'd be chained up and forced to teach changelings what he knew about pony society for the rest of his life, helping to bring about the abductions and harvesting of most of the pony population.

A preferable fate to being the focus of a purple alicorn's rage at the moment.

Author's Note:

Mastermenthe

I want to see what happens if you force out a oneshot.
As long as it doesn't hurt your muse or creativity.
Lile a 1000-2000 word oneshot exploring a day where Twilight keeps tripping over things non stop.

I can't quite say I forced it out, as it was something I realized would be doable while at work. The idea of such a thing ending up being a prank sounded like a decent idea. Thus it just kind of flowed from there. Did the whole thing in about an hour total if that, including checks for errors. Hope you enjoyed the senseless silly.

Comments

[HoneyBadgerr]

I like it. I think the premise worked out pretty well. It was funny without being too over-the-top, and wasn't so long that the joke got old. Just a nice, funny little slice of life.

[Aguion12 - GotA]

We need more Max one-shots. Or a chaptered fic where he deals with ponykind, craziness and Twilight in general.

[Razzy]

Snrk, tripping Twilight is funny.

Hah, I wonder if it's Chryssie's hive.

[Dastardly Hun]

Skin a cat

Actually this is the first time I heard this idiom.

pink party pony pronked off to procure her products of palatable pleasure, the purple princess pondered the possibility of being pranked.

To sum up my reaction to this sentence: laksdfkéjasirdgnadbnaidfűőjkjagr.

You know, this kinda made me wonder, next time you hit a snag, what if you just toss up a blog post asking for ideas like this? I'm pretty sure there would be a few that might start up those gears again. Some silly one shot could give you a bit of a respite from all of your longer stories, letting you let loose for a bit. (Or rest. That can work as well, albeit not as funny)

[HorseWordFan]

Short, sweet, and to the point. I liked the casual way that backstory elements were brought up, just enough to make the reader curious, but not so much that they took over. Could easily see this as a 5- or 10-minute segment woven into a slice of life MLP episode.

[Reykan]

7164950 full saying would be "there's more than one way to skin a cat." I don't know where I frat heard it, but it was used in the movie The Rescuers: Down Under.
On an unrelated note, I've still not figured out how to display spoilers on mobile.

7164832 he tends to be my joke-type one shot changeling character.

[Dastardly Hun]

7165932 Yeah, i googled it when I read it.
Also, under the spoiler, I just rolled my head on the keyboard.
As to how to show spoilers: tap on them? That works for me.

[Reykan]

7167218 for some reason that doesn't work with my iPhone. kills me sometimes, when I cant read what people are saying under those.

[mastermenthe]

Glad you ran with my idea!

I'm surprised you experienced no stumbling blocks with your muse this time.

Do you think this exercise has gotten you back on the ball?

[ImmaGenericWriter]

7167281
Highlight them, you'll be able to see 'em then.

[Reykan]

7167656 tried it, still didn't work on the phone. They don't like me.

[Neece]

YES! MAX IS BACK!!!
.
Can we have more now?

[ImmaGenericWriter]

7167660
Well, from a quick Google search, these are the most commonly used methods to solve a phone problem:

1) Tap harder.
2) Slap the side of the phone a few times.
3) Stare at the phone until it works.
4) Yell at the phone.*

*Results inconclusive.

[Reykan]

7167665 I've actually got one more idea for that, and it includes Max teaching Pinkie this song.

[Dipti]

7167694 You sir are a cruel and vindictive person for posting that song.... Give it too Pinkie With a bow on top would you please?

[Philosophysics]

Simple. Yet it makes so much sense.

[Torindelluna]

Chapters dude. Love this character and story, but finding all the different ones is a bit of a pain. I only knew of the first one until I found this. To my joy there was more. Love it

[Reykan]

7470407 The story is kind of a "what if?" situation. If I come up with any good things to do with this Max, I add more, but otherwise they're too broken and sporadic to be an actual story.

[AppleTank]

7167660
Clunkiest way: copy the spoilers and paste them elsewhere, URL bar, notepad, etc.

Also, interesting to see the evolution of the Max the changeling concept.

[Arachne the weaver]

"It would be just the kind of thing he'd try, too. Max is a lot more subtle (1)then(1) Discord, but the two often get along like two peas in a pod...or like Pinkie and coffee..."

(1) I believe the word is than.

Have you ever heard of the firefighters dance? It's a prank my friends and I used to play on other students who fell asleep during class.

Just apply some drops of hot sauce (Tabasco for example) on their lips and watch as they get swollen and they start screaming

[tsaukpaetra]

Sometimes pranks don't have to be elaborate in order to be good...

[JazzyWaffles]

These fics are just incapable of being bad, aren't they?