• Published 7th May 2016
  • 10,088 Views, 192 Comments

Changing Lanes - AutoPony



When a human and his home land in Equestria, his love of speed quickly draws a few ponies to him, most notably Princess Luna. But her own desires and secrets soon begin to create..... complications in their friendship.

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Chapter 14

"Anonymous!"

Luna's melodic voice slowly stirs you from slumber, as hints of sunlight pry at your eyelids. You feel the whole bed move, as shadows suddenly block out the sun's rays. Frustrated by the interruption, you finally relent and open your eyes, coming face to face with the night princess's lively turquoise eyes, who takes the sign of alertness as an invitation to lie atop you. Even for her larger size than most other ponies, she's damn near light as a feather.

"Five more minutes," you groan, lifting your head just high enough to reach her soft lips. She obliges you, giggling all the while like a mischievous schoolgirl.

"Anon, haven't you slept enough? It is already two in the afternoon."

"I didn't fall asleep right when you left last night. I was up until about four," you mumble, struggling to clear your head from the fog of sleep.

"That is still ten hours of sleep," she lectures as she climbs off of you. As she gracefully leaps off your bed, she pulls you upright with a quick pulse of her magic.

"I thought you were the princess of the night. Shouldn't you be encouraging me to sleep the day away?" Your question only extracts another giggle fit from Luna, who has opened up even more and shown her more playful, carefree side in the past couple weeks.

"In the past, I may have agreed with you," she admits, her face becoming very serious for a moment. "But there is no time to waste. Hop in the shower while I find you something nice to wear for this evening." With that, she turns away, opening your closet door and flicking the light on.

"Why? What's the big occasion?" you ask, throwing your legs over the side of the bed. With a yawn and a quick stretch, you pull yourself out of bed, stumbling a bit as your body adjusts to being on its feet.

"Celestia would like to get to know you better, and learn more about the world from which you came," she replies, her head buried within your closet. "So she has invited you to the castle for a nice dinner with Twilight and me."

"Uh, okay. But if it is just us, why do I have to get all fancy for that?"

Luna pulls her head out of your shirt rack, her lower lip jutted out in a pouting manner. "You want to look good for us, don't you?"

"I never have before," you quip.

With a smirk, her horn gives off its familiar blue glow, as the aura of her magic gently pushes you out of the room, guiding you towards your bathroom just down the hall.

"I'm guessing that was the wrong answer?"


To your surprise, you did not have to push hard to get Luna to agree to drive to Canterlot in the Superbird, rather than teleport as she normally would. She enjoys riding shotgun, so you've never quite understood her reluctance to take the scenic route. The only drawback is the length of time it takes to get to Canterlot by wheels. Depending on how heavy your foot feels, it can take upwards of two hours to reach the castle. Still, the journey getting there is sometimes more fun than being there itself.

This ride has not been quite as enjoyable as in the past, with Luna being abnormally quiet and uptight. You aren't sure if she is just impatient to get to the castle, or nervous about how you will act during the dinner.

"I'll be on my best behavior, Luna. Relax," you tell her, reaching your arm over to pull her close. She leans into you with little encouragement, the scent of lavender filling your nostrils. While she normally looks the part of royalty, she has upped the ante tonight, wearing a formal gown you've never seen before, accenting her coat with its deep blues and black hues, topped off with highlights of silver.

You've personally never been one for formal attire, so the best you could do is a smart polo shirt, topped off with a pair of black pants and black tennis shoes. Luna wasn't exactly pleased, but found it to be acceptable, noting it would be a good idea to visit Twilight Sparkle's friend, Rarity, to get something properly formal for future occasions.

"Park here," Luna suddenly chirps, sitting upright as she points a hoof to the side of the trail that leads to the castle gates. Her instructions strike you as odd, considering you've driven to Canterlot's castle on a few occasions. Every time, Luna nor anyone else has had an issue with you parking well within the castle gates, near the main doors that lead inside.

Even so, you oblige her request, gently applying the brakes as you turn the wheel. Even with the power steering, the Superbird is a bear to turn at low speeds, the orange behemoth under the hood weighing down the front end. The old girl relents, as you do a one-eighty to face the way you came, coming to a stop and shutting off the engine. Leaving the keys in the ignition, you turn to Luna, who seems to sense you aren't getting out until you get some answers.

"What's going on, Lulu?" you ask, trying to keep an optimistic frame of mind. Luna fidgets in her seat as she adjusts her gown. She is silent, even as her familiar blue aura begins to flow from her horn.

"Luna, don't you teleport me in without an explanation," you warn her, as she gives you a nervous grin. Instantly, you feel the urge to stand up, feeling off-balance as your surroundings begin to warp from the cozy cockpit of the Superbird to the cavernous interior of the castle. You fold your arms in disappointment as the magic surrounding the two of you evaporates. For her part, Luna feels the displeasure emitting from your entire being, taking a seat next to the doors that lead to the main atrium

"I'm sorry Anonymous," she says, hanging her head low. "I didn't want to tell you the truth because I knew you would not come along." As she goes quiet again, you begin to notice a low drone, a blending of unintelligible voices speaking at once just beyond the doors.

"What is really going on? I can hear it in there," you say, pointing to the door. Before Luna can speak up, the sound of hoofsteps approaching from behind causes you to turn around.

"Anonymous, what a pleasant surprise," calls Celestia in a cheerful voice. Much like her little sister, Celestia is dressed up for an occasion, attired in a rich pick ballgown draped over her back half.

"Uh, hi Celestia," you start, glancing over at Luna. Her shame seems to have reached immeasurable levels, as she drops her teal eyes to the floor. "Luna was just about to tell me what exactly is going on here."

Celestia shifts her focus to Luna, a bit confused by your words. "Luna, you brought him here without telling him?"

"Yes," she pouts, her expression tugging at your heart despite the fib she told you. You find yourself unable to remain angry, reaching over and stroking her silky mane in reassurance.

"Well, I'm here now, might as well tell me what's going on," you say. Your sentence is hardly finished before the door beside you creaks open with a nudge from Celestia, the sounds of mingling conversation and classical music pouring through.

The main ballroom of the castle is jam-packed with ponies, all dressed in formal attire as they stand in little groups dispersed everywhere. In one corner of the room, a small stage has been set up for a small orchestra, as various tables lined with all sorts of cuisine sit next to the far wall. The ballroom itself is decorated with fine drapery, a blend of purple and deep red hues.

"This is the Grand Galloping Gala," Celestia says. "It is one of Canterlot's biggest gatherings, and it gives the ponies of Equestria a chance to intermingle within the castle, as well as my sister and I."

Luna's face twists into disgust as her sister describes the event. Celestia takes note, giving off a hearty chuckle, much to your surprise.

"As you can tell, Luna isn't fond of the Gala. Truth be told, I too find little to enjoy in this gathering, but it is good for the ponies of Equestria." Celestia finishes.

"I thought you enjoyed helping your people. Er, ponies," you correct yourself. "I would have thought something like this would be up your alley, Tia."

"Unfortunately, it never turns out as I hope. I don't get to intermingle with folks as much as I get my hooves constantly kissed," she says, staring longingly into the ballroom. A few ponies catch sight of her, directing others' attention to the doorway in which the three of you look inward. Soon, the room as a whole is clapping their hooves in approval, beckoning the Sun Princess to enter.

"I suppose I should be joining the Gala," Celestia says, smiling as she looks at you and Luna. "Be good you two, and try to have fun."

"That is a tall task, dear sister," Luna mumbles, as Celestia joins the crowd.

"Misery loves company, huh?" you quip. Luna's eyes dart back to you, as she ponders what you've said.

"I should have asked. I just wanted somepony here that I could enjoy being with, rather than the scores of ponies in there."

"I'd rather not be here, but hey, I've got you here. I'll manage," you tell her, as your own eyes scan the room.

You've never been fond of big gatherings like this. Perhaps it's a bit of claustrophobia or general shyness. Regardless of what it is, your stomach feels uneasy as Luna rises to her hooves and heads through the door. Taking a deep breath, you follow closely behind her, the crowd splitting to give their princess a clear path to walk. As they bow on either side in her presence, the gathered ponies eye you with curiosity and just the slightest hint of anxiety.

"What's wrong, Anonymous?" Luna asks through the mental link, sensing your own anxiety at all the eyes upon you.

I'm not exactly thrilled with the idea of being in such a crowded room. or having everyone staring at me, you tell her, taking a deep breath.

"You never told me you had social phobia," she responds, concerned. She comes to a stop as her attention is drawn to a particular area. "Oh, horseapples."

"What?" you ask aloud, surprised by her sudden change in tone. You try following her line of sight, but can't make out what she is looking at across the room, one of the various little cliques blocking your view.

"I will be right back," she sighs in frustration. "Why don't you get something to eat while I'm gone?" Without an answer back, she shuffles in the direction she was looking, giving you a clear line to the tables of food ahead. Slowly, your nerves return, scanning the crowd for a face you recognize as you move forward.

Much to your relief, you spot someone you know. Sitting on the floor next to one of the tables is Spike, Twilight Sparkle's little dragon helper. However, Twilight herself is nowhere to be found as you make your way over to the baby dragon.

"Hey, Anonymous," Spike calls out, his words muffled by his current mouthful of food. You do your best not to laugh at him as you kneel down, hand outstretched for a high-five greeting. He does so, before stuffing another miniature appetizer in his maw.

"Hey Spike, fancy seeing you here," you say. "How did you get dragged into this?" As he finishes chewing and swallowing his mouthful, you reach up and grab a cup of punch from the table, taking a sip.

It takes an effort to keep from spitting it out, practically feeling granules of sugar within the overly sweetened drink. Did someone dump a whole bag of sugar in the bowl?

"Eh, I was here last year when Twilight and her friends came. It was a real mess," he says, chuckling to himself. "Twilight's around here somewhere, considering she's a princess now. I just came here for the food, it's great!" Looking down at the plate Spike has outstretched before him is the last thing you expected to see.

The unmistakable scent of bacon hits your nose, as every item on his plate has something a meat-lover would die for.

"Uh, I was under the impression that ponies were not carnivores," you say, taking what looks to be a potato skin loaded with cheese and bacon bits. Your eyes almost roll into the back of your head as you savor the taste, determined to find and load up a plate with as much of these as you can.

"Ponies aren't, but they are," Spike replies, pointing a clawed digit to somewhere behind you. Turning to follow his direction, you spy a small table, where two griffons sit in quiet conversation.

"Geez, is there any mythical creature from my world that doesn't exist here?" you mumble. Your eyes dart from the pair of avians to the trademark ethereal blue mane of Luna, who is in conversation with what looks to be a white stallion. You direct Spike's attention to them, pointing a finger.

"Who's that with Luna, any idea?"

Spike squints for a moment, before relaxing back to lean on the table leg behind him. "That's Prince Blueblood, I think," he says. "I don't really know much about him, other than he's supposedly a distant relative of the royal sisters. I personally don't see the resemblance."

"Thanks Spike, we need to hang out more often," you say, patting him on the head before rising to your feet. Luna's eyes dart to your movement, as does Prince Blueblood's in turn.

"I'm sorry, Anonymous," Luna says through the link, as Blueblood leads Luna in your direction.

Perplexed by Luna's apology, you just stand there as she and Prince Blueblood stride over to you. Once they are only a few feet away, you feel your cup being snatched out of your hand, a faint gold glow emanating from the stallion's horn.

"My word, you have trained monkeys to be waiters at this year's gala? You and your sister have outdone yourself," Blueblood says to Luna in a haughty, almost arrogant tone. Luna's only response is to giggle quietly, which only further confuses and disturbs you.

This isn't funny, Luna, you scold through the link.

"I know," she replies back, even giggling a bit in your mind.

Then stop laughing.

"I'm trying," she says, before finally getting a hold of herself. Clearing her throat, Luna turns her gaze back to Blueblood, who seems oblivious to your existence right after taking your drink. You had not planned on finishing the super-sweet drink, but still, he has a lot of nerve.

"Blueblood, this is Anonymous. He is not a monkey, he's a human. Anon is not actually from our world, my sister and I have granted him refuge until we can find a way to return him home."

Blueblood takes another look at you, studying your features closely. "Yes, he does look a lot stranger than a monkey, I suppose. Very little hair," he says nonchalantly.

"Thank you. That makes me feel so much better," you grumble, causing him to recoil back in shock.

"My word, he can talk?" Blueblood exclaims.

You bite your tongue, already getting very frustrated with this rather snobbish stallion. In addition, Luna's nonchalance with the whole scenario is a bit upsetting, as well.

"Perhaps we should go outside the castle walls for a stroll, the air is getting a bit stuffy in here tonight," Luna says, breaking the awkward silence that has befallen the group.

Without a reply, Luna turns around, heading for the door you arrived through earlier. Blueblood joins her side and engages in idle conversation, while you just stand there, dumbfounded.

"Come, Anonymous," Luna calls in your mind.

Why? I can stand this asshole, you bark back. Luna stops in her tracks and turns her head, giving you a smile. But it's not a light-hearted one. It's downright sinister.

Luna is scheming something, you're sure of it.

Quickly, you make your way to her and Blueblood, as the two of them resume their small talk as the group heads out of the castle. You remain silent the whole time, trying to figure out what she has in mind.

As you make it out of the castle walls, the conversation switches to you.

"So how did this.... human get here, Princess Luna?" Blueblood asks.

"We don't know, Celestia and Luna are perplexed as I am," you respond, drawing an unhappy glare from Blueblood as he peers over his shoulder.

"I don't believe your name is Princess Luna," he replies in a scornful tone, before turning to Luna again. "Clearly he needs work on his social skills concerning interactions with nobility."

Why do you like this guy? you ask Luna, gritting your teeth in restrained rage.

"I don't recall ever saying I enjoyed his company," Luna responds. Through the mind link, Luna urges you to look forward, your attention quickly drawn to the Superbird, which sits just outside of the gates where you parked it.

"I forgot to mention the wonderful contraption that accompanied Anonymous upon his unexpected arrival," Luna says aloud.

Luna, no. I don't want this prick anywhere near my baby, you warn.

"All I want from you is to give him a ride-along," Luna says as she turns her head again. Once again, a mischievous grin crosses her face. "A really good ride-along."

As the three of you approach your car, Blueblood's nose instantly wrinkles in disgust.

"His kind certainly seems to have little taste in aesthetics," he says. "What an abhorrent design of... whatever this thing is."

"This is how his kind travels, Blueblood," Luna says while keeping her eyes on you. "Perhaps Anonymous would like to take you for a ride?"

"I suppose I could, if he wants," you respond, as Luna nods her head slightly. Without another word, you open the passenger door as Blueblood tentatively wanders over, taking a look in before awkwardly climbing into the seat.

"My word, these seats are absolutely dreadful," he whines. Rather than let him finish his bitchy rant, you slam the door closed, making him yelp in surprise.

You don't even need to look over to Luna to sense her approval, as you walk to the driver's side of the Superbird and climb in. Blueblood is still complaining about something, but you ignore it as you start the engine.

"What an awful commotion. I can not believe the princesses allow you to use this noisy contraption," Blueblood moans. You slowly take off in first gear, the headlight pods popping up to lead the way in the slowly fading light of dusk.

Barely a mile goes by as Blueblood continues to bitch in his snobbish manner, taking note of the harsh ride and every little bump, squeak, and rattle in the chassis.

Already tiring of his mouth, you jam the brakes, making the stallion slide forward in his seat. You never bothered telling him to buckle his seatbelt, considering he would just complain about the lack of comfort the device afforded.

"Could you warn me before you come to a stop? This thing is an absolute deathtrap," he grumbles. You shut the engine off before unbuckling and opening the door to climb out.

"Sorry, forgot something," you tell him politely, as you reach underneath your seat. After a moment of feeling around blindly, your hand finds the glove you were looking for, and within it, the wrench you need as well.

Putting the glove on, you carefully reach under the car with your wrench and take out the bolts holding the cap on the exhaust header dumps. Even with only a mile of drive time, the ceramic tubes are scorching hot. Finishing up the driver's side, you circle around and quickly get the other one, before tossing the caps, bolts, and everything else behind your seat and climbing back in.

Without a word, you turn the ignition, and the engine comes to life with an ear-rattling roar. It brings a smile to your face hearing the Hemi underhood exhaling unrestricted for the first time in a while.

"Sweet Celestia, it gets louder?" Blueblood shouts, putting his hooves over his ears in a futile effort. You push the clutch in and slide the shifter into first, before revving the engine with a few quick pulses of the throttle.

"What's that? You want to go fast?" you shout back. "I can do that."

When you dump the clutch, the car rockets forward, as the tires, engine, and Blueblood all shriek in an oddly fitting chorus. You pay him no mind as you watch the tachometer dance, rowing through the gears at a rapid pace.

"This is fun, isn't it?" you ask, glancing over at Blueblood. His face is twisted into a look of pure terror, his eyes wide open looking forward. Putting your eyes back on the road, the headlights illuminate a left bend just ahead, giving you another idea.

Easing the brake pedal down, you begin to slow like a civilized person, as you hold in the clutch and put the gear lever into second. Once you see the speedometer in the dash fall below 35 mph, you rev up the engine and dump the clutch once again, slinging the steering wheel to the left. The ass end of the Superbird fishtails sideways until you're almost perfectly lined up with the road again, while you hear the unmistakable thump of Blueblood smacking his head against the passenger window.

Once again pointing straight, you mat the accelerator, the car surging ahead in turn as you quickly go through the gears. Unfortunately, the beams of the headlights illuminate a fence just ahead, as Blueblood tries to form words to warn you. You're hard on the binders again, the car sliding to a stop as Blueblood slides forward in the seat.

"Well that sucks, it's a dead end," you announce calmly. Beside you, Blueblood is breathing rapidly, quiet whimpers escaping him from time to time even as he begins to calm down.

"Time to go back, I guess. Bummer," you say, jamming the shifter into reverse and matting the gas. Lurching backward, you sling the steering wheel, the nose of the car snapping around to face the direction from whence you came. All the while, Blueblood starts to squeal like a little girl, making you grin.

Once again, you rocket back towards the castle, swinging the car sideways again at the bend until you stand on the brakes a mile from the castle, where you started the journey, shutting the engine off as you turn to the terrified, trembling stallion sitting beside you.

"Now, maybe you should try not being such an arrogant ass for once in your life," you growl, as Blueblood only stares at you wide-eyed, whimpering in fear. "Get the hell out of my car, the door handle is there by your hoof."

Barely do you finish your sentence before Blueblood throws the door open, galloping away towards the castle in the distance as he disappears in the fading light.

"That wasn't very nice," calls Luna's voice, as a haze materializes beside you, the passenger door closing with a thump. Slowly, her form takes shape, the blue alicorn lounging in the passenger seat with a smirk on her face.

"I refuse to believe he is related to you in any way, shape or form," you say, folding your arms.

"Not really. It's a very distant relation, but Blueblood likes to make the most of it he can. I personally have never cared for him since the day I met him," she says.

"And yet you dragged him over to meet me? Why not just ditch him?" you ask her, as she chuckles.

"Because I knew you wouldn't be able to tolerate his attitude. And I thought you might be able to give him a good comeuppance."

"I'm not going to be hearing from his lawyer or thrown in a dungeon for that, am I?"

"No, he doesn't have that much influence. 'Prince' is just an honorary title." Luna says, before leaning in towards you. "Besides, you have me on your side."

Luna closes in the distance, locking her lips with yours aggressively. Even as she relents and lets you go, a fire burns within her eyes.

"So, has this Gala been that bad?" she asks in a sultry voice.

"Well, it's the first one I've been to. It's been memorable, I suppose," you say with a smile.

"Let's make it one you won't forget," she says, before leaning in again with more vigor.

You have a feeling neither of you will be heading back to the Gala tonight.