You may also know me as "Youtube, All I want to do is watch a video, Stop making me update" or "Buck Testa"
Inspired by this rendition of Every Breath You Take. Tender Taps has grown tired of having his love be casually dismissed by Applebloom. She claims to only see him as a friend even with all their time dancing together over the years.
No matter. He has found a way that he can be with her forever. Even if it means sacrificing everything to do it, he will prove to her that she belongs to him and him alone.
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Second Tenderbloom fic on this site, and a dark one at that. All I could think throughout reading this is:
"Funny how you die people start listening."
7161286
Funny how when you die, people start listening.
Sorry dear writer, but you kinda dragged the narration a bit too long here.
There are a few paragraphs that's just unnecessary.
Dragged on for a bit near the end. But other than that, not bad.
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7161470
Fair enough, I'll certainly keep that in mind in the future.
7161470
The story did have to have exactly the number of paragraphs that it did, however, for its hidden message. However, I do agree that the narration got repetitive at some points.
7169882 Yes that is what drew it out. If I'm going to do something like that again I need to make it flow a bit more smoothly than I did. I thought it was a nifty idea though.
He's insane. Seems like someone need to (re)visit the Winchesters.
Also, nice message.
Make a sequel plz
Wow, that was creepy. The last thing I expected to come out of this episode is a horror fic.
Creepy and creative what you wrote here. This part here even gave me a Silent Hill vibe:
Very great fic! As few fics as there are for "On Your Marks" sadly, this is one for the books and of highest quality.
I will give this an eternal place in my favourites.
The length is perfect as it is. He repeats talking about dancing with Applebloom often, but he's insane, so this fits very well and makes it more apparent. In the way it's written now, it reads like he really has just put all his feelings into this letter, while preparing it better to not have him repeat himself would have made it seem like he sat down and planned the letter to a T, which would make it unrealistic, considering his situation.
There's no reason to cut a similar fic like that short the next time.
7231755
Filly, please. We need Mulder and Scully for this.
I can honestly say that was the most uncomfortable story I've ever read. That's not bad though 😁 The atmosphere and pacing is done very well, and the fact it made me feel uncomfortable shows that the story is managing to affect the reader. The only con I see in this whole thing, is that the narration is repetitive and drawn out too long. That doesn't make the story terrible though, just causes the reader to lose interest. Luckily, this story had me from start to finish with the way the dialogue is described! I've added this to my "stories to read" list aka my favorites, so look forward to that in the near future! Great work, just work on your pacing in the future.
I can see you got a little "Spirits in the Material World" in there, too. :')
Wow, that whole thing was terrifying.
I want to know what happened after that tho