• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 18th, 2022

Xujints the Water Horse


It's a long story, i'd rather not bother you with it. Oh, who am I kidding, I love telling stories XD

Comments ( 38 )

Just yes... Keep going. Just keep going.

7160443 Thank you for the comment, and don't worry... I will. It took a long time to actually get this just right and i'm glad you liked it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, you might get an answer, or even a shout-out in the next chapter's notes.

7160520 Actually yes. you can find it on Deviantart by going to his page. The link is in the description (relating to the cover image). Interestingly enough, he's actually done two. One is set in the ponyverse (starting from just before Dusk Shine went to ponyville) all the way up to the Everfree forest skirmishes. The second is set in the human world that this fic's setting is based on. It starts at Dusk's confrontation with Nightmare Moon and the fight that follows, where it is currently at.

Both Manga's are still called the Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine, but due to their manga feel and quality, fans and the creator himself has affectionately dubbed it Doki Doki Harmony. Both of the Mangas are still in the works, but you can follow along on his page.

A novelisation of the manga? Fantastic can't wait for more.

It's a good novelisation. The only issue I've seen is at the beginning, you seem to have a hard time deciding what the primary color of Dusk's hair is referring to it as indigo one moment and lavender the next. Absolutely minor, but there are nitpickers like me who are less kind about things like that.

All in all, it's a fantastically descriptive writing style you have, and I look forward to more!:pinkiehappy:

I give this chapter… 5 mustaches-:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

7160492 It's different to say the least. Keep up the work.:scootangel:

7160952 Why thank you. I try. Sadly, I wish it could have been a pure novelization, but seeing as the Manga is incomplete and Fimfiction dislikes complete 'rip offs' or novelizations, I had to get creative. Change a few details, get descriptive... Most of all, I had to come up with an overall story arc that could still fit into the manga somehow (as it is currently) and still contribute something original.

7161262 Hurray for mustaches. Thanks for pointing out the hair thing... As it turns out, his hair is both. Lavender is the streak in his hair, while Indigo is the base.

I hope no one else sees the boner he has because I really hate awkward situations xD

7163134 Oh, they'll notice... It'd make it even more awkward for the person that does CPR on him...

7163327 Yes! And just saying... It is one of the main cast.

7163389 I can already imagine the large amounts of awkwardness! why u do dis!?! :eeyup:

7163401 Why? Because... I have to introduce the awkward now, otherwise you'll get blindsided with it in the next chapter (especially the one after that)

7163410 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but in all honesty this story is really great so far, keep up the great work! :pinkiehappy:

Okay, I'm going to be honest here. I like that you are doing a novelisation of the manga. I follow the manga and while I find it weird, it isn't bad in itself and tries its best with originality while following the plotline of the Nightmare Moon arc.

But here's the downside: You are merely transcribing. In layman's terms, you're not being very original yourself, you're just copying the lines from the manga and that hurts to see.

A novelisation, while following the same plotline and has the same characters, takes its own spin on the thing beause it can't do the exact same stuff its predecessor does. I'm a little disappointed that this is not what I expected it to be. I'm hoping at least in the coming chapters, you put a bit more effort into that so we can tell it apart from the manga. I would recommend reading a few novelisations and see how they did it.

On a final note: "Woman in the Moon"? "Lady in the Moon" sounds better, really.

7163764 Thank you for your input. I get what you are saying about it being almost a copy and paste sort of thing, and in some parts, it is. That's mostly because the manga was giving me the direction that the rest of the Fic is going to follow. Now, that's not to say I haven't changed things already to make it a bit different then how things went down in the manga. For instance: How Nightmare Moon responded to being attacked and fight that followed; How Dusk reacted to it and more importantly, how it ended; Even the first scene with Pinkie is alluding to something wrong;

I would mention the opening, but i'll leave that analysis up to the fans. I actually had to edit that scene more then any other because it was too spoiler heavy for those with sharp eyes.

I will say though that I would need to go original eventually anyway as the Manga is not complete.

I also agree... Lady does sound better.

7163837 I appreciate your honestly, but it still feels like I'm reading a poorly made manga here.

7163888 Yeah... I'll try to bump up the originality in the next chapter. Any other criticism you may have is appreciated, as anything can help make the story better (as long as its not something like, 'this is dumb' or something else like it.).

7163391 So is Dusk the awkward bad ass or the awkward guy who gets lucky? also hope there is a fight scene between Dusk and Moon because well magic is more than mental might its also physical on the body but that might be his weakness just really talking out my plot at this point.

7164613 Dusk is both XD

He'll have his Twilight-esk moments, but when he gets serious, it is serious. As for a fight between NM and Dusk... Yes, there will be a fight, I can guarantee that, along with a fight between her and the others.

I can' wait for Luna when she reverted back, remembers where she kissed Dusk.
I'm sure she be covering her face turning red as a apple.
Celestia won't stop teasing/tormenting her for that bit.

You interest me with this story it is getting very interesting to read keep up a good work update soon. The reason I like the story because it is getting very interesting to read it hope you write more because it is getting very good update soon :twilightsmile:

7197024 I'm working on this in my free time. School is kicking my plot tho...
Thank you.

7163888
I like this taking the story helps me push myself more in my own manga ... hahahaha

7354019 :D I will, don't worry. Schools been a bit of a pain as of late, but I think I have a breakthrough for the intro to the chapter, and once that is done, the rest of the story will flow out. And thanks for the comment

We are dying of chapter withdrawal here, please save us from this.:fluttercry:

7568734 Don't worry, the next chapter is on it's way. I plan to have it finished by the end of the month. If I get anything done before my birthday, it will be this next chapter.

7580872 :yay: yay, we wuv yuuu! Platonically though, totally just brotatoship here.

I'm just remembering now but in one episode wasn't pinky a year younger than fluttershy?:scootangel:

Nice you got a great Job there. So jealous of that. I heared that pay's well is that true and lastly this is great so this is on my fav list. Looking for more so keep up the good work. :scootangel:

It is quite an interesting story, look forward to chapter 3

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