Don't Forget the Sun
For Kilala, who doesn't even know I exist or that this story exists 
Her artwork inspired this.
Edited by Wellspring and Manaphy.
From the moment she laid eyes on her, up to now when she was summoned to her chambers, Rarity was always entranced by Nightmare Moon’s beauty. The stale smell of dust tickled her nose as she made her way up the hall, squinting through the dim light. She looked at the two guards on either side of the towering doors, torches flickering over their heads. She watched as they swished back and forth…
Nightmare Moon’s mane was a spiral of stars, swirling out in front of her and lashing back in a wind only her hair could feel. It glowed softly, little sparks of white flashing in it. It was a soft shade of blue, like how the sky seems just before the sun dips under the horizon…
The sun.
Many had expected to lose the light after Celestia’s imprisonment, which was true for a while. A year went by where ponies were engulfed in darkness, and while some became saddened, most adapted fairly fast with the aid of spells.
Nightmare Moon was a much better leader than most expected, solving the many problems of many issues Celestia had been scared to approach; earth ponies’ little representation in government, the growing problems with relations with other countries, magic regulation... She even ended up creating faster growing crops after researching how to have them live from moonlight.
Of course, she still made it clear that those who disobeyed her would have… less than desirable consequences.
Rarity shuddered.
But aside from all the good that had came with her rule and the acceptance that ponies gave to her, she would never speak to anyone. Rarity had become her spokes-pony, announcing the princess’s letters to the public and even executing some of the administrative tasks in her stead. She had been chosen due to being one of the first ponies to be at her side once she took the throne.
Of course, Rarity didn’t mind being so close to a princess, but her worries had grown as Nightmare Moon left her room less and less and the letters piled up on Rarity’s doorstep.
Then one day, the sun came out as Cadence was assigned to raise it, alongside ruling the Crystal Empire after Nightmare Moon killed Sombra. The sun was only out for six hours a day as per Nightmare’s request, but she herself ventured out of her room much more often, especially during the day.
A clang noise jerked her back to reality, and she glanced up to see Nightmare Moon’s piercing emerald eyes staring down at her. The armor-clad mare put her head close up to hers. Rarity scrunched her muzzle, feeling sweat roll down her forehead.
“Are you done standing there like a buffoon, Rarity? We have much to discuss after our… incident,” Nightmare Moon stated.
Rarity hadn’t even notice the chamber doors opening. “O-Oh, sorry, M’lady!” she sputtered out. But Nightmare Moon wore an amused expression at her guard’s daydreaming. Upon noticing this, Rarity let her muscles relax.
“What ever has your thoughts racing like that, Rari?”
Rarity’s cheeks turned bright pink at the remark and stomped her hoof indignantly. “It’s Rarity, and I have the right to keep my thoughts my own,” she called back. Nightmare smiled before her expression went deadpan.
“I could order you by law to tell me. But, as fate would have it, we must discuss the matters at hoof.” Nightmare Moon took a step aside. “Enter.”
Normally, Rarity would have the jitters when entering her chambers, but recently she’d become used to the idea of being informal with her. Ever since her mood improved, they’d been talking much more as friends rather than diplomats. It was nice to see her as a friend rather than a god at times…
She reminded herself, No, stop thinking like that. You can’t blush like this now! She shook her head. There are still things I don’t know about her.
Striding in casually, she looked around at the familiar set up. In front of her was a dark blue carpet, stretching out to a large bed in the center of the room. It had black drapes pulled back on its frame with thick, purple and gold blankets and pillows. There were a few scattered dressers, accompanied by random decor ranging from paintings to random trinkets. Large windows that opened up to a balcony. Books on astronomy were thrown about everywhere, with a telescope turned over and a…
Rarity levitated the book up to eye level. “Is this a book on the… sun?”
She felt it pried from her magical grip as Nightmare Moon stood beside her.
“Yes, and it is actually related to what me must discuss. Sit down,” she ordered as she teleported a chair before Rarity, who scoffed in turn.
“What, is your bed too good for me, Artemis?” she spat back playfully, pushing the chair aside. It fell to the floor with a small thud.
She, amongst other ponies, used the name ‘Artemis’ with her after ‘Nightmare Moon’ became a mouthful. Rarity spoke up again. “I demand the privilege of sitting on your luxury mattress!”
Nightmare Moon smiled at her remark, but it faded fast into a glower. Rarity put on a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of her neck.
Her mood isn’t that good, Rarity. Get a hold of yourself!
She decided not to push it, swiftly bounding onto the bed. Nightmare Moon clambered up beside her, removing her armor once she laid down, putting it amongst the clutter of her floor. The dove-white unicorn smiled internally; she loved how comfortable they were now with each other.
Rarity untied her mane from the tight bun it was in, letting the curly, purple locks fall down onto her neck. Nightmare Moon herself secured her sweeping hair to the back of her head, looking Rarity in the eyes. She felt her own cheeks heat up as her eyes sparkled with fascination, dancing with the same passion in her sis… she sighed, and the color went away.
Rarity’s muscles clammed up in return to the stare; she could never quite know what Nightmare Moon was thinking. Silence passed between the two.
Nightmare Moon cleared her throat.
“It appears you… have noticed my relationship with the sun as of late,” Nightmare Moon stated, tucking her forelegs under her raven-black barrel. “And while I know I must explain myself, I would ask so kindly as for you to not go blurting things out in important diplomatic meetings,” her voice was harsh. Rarity swallowed. This wasn’t the friend part of their relationship.
“S-Sorry, M’lady,” she murmured back, voice quavering. It always did that when she was scared; she loved her leader, but she was intimidating at times. Nightmare Moon glanced at her up and down, breathing in sharply. She smelled the musk of old books and dust. She closed her for a few seconds, shuddering, before opening them back up.
They look… sad? Rarity thought, trying to hide her concern as she listened intently. Nightmare Moon tensed up.
“So you want to know why I have the sun out?”
“Yes. I mean…” Rarity paused, “from what you’ve told us, the sun is horrible! That pony was requesting for more sunlight too! Ugh, the nerve,” she paused again, “I mean, sure, I do love that I have the light, but if it’s horrible, why is it still here? It burns ponies’ skin, it blinds ponies; all things the night and its moon cannot do! And you, why would you want a reminder of…”
“Celestia?” Nightmare Moon spoke with no emotion, but Rarity noticed her flinch.“Do not fear my sister’s name. It is but a word to label her.”
Rarity nodded slowly. “So, can I have some answers?”
Nightmare Moon nodded back. Stillness grew between them for a few more seconds, before Nightmare Moon grimaced, looking Rarity dead in the eyes. She couldn’t be honest; not even with her closest friend. She swallowed.
“I have no answer.”
Rarity blinked fast, jerking her head back a bit as her ears flattened. “W-What do you mean, ‘no answer’?”
It hurt to lie, but Nightmare Moon was no stranger to lies.
“I mean I do not know why. I simply wished for the sun to have a little bit of time to shine,” she monotoned back. But Rarity’s eyes locked onto her ears, which were twitching back and forth. Rarity scrunched her muzzle. She was still looking her in the eyes, too.
“You’re not a good liar,” she stated.
Nightmare Moon fidgeted a bit at the words.
“Do you dare to accuse me of lying? I am your leader, you must take my word as law.”
Rarity huffed, narrowing her eyes.
“I am also your friend. I can see through a lie.”
Nightmare Moon began to bite on her lip before showing off her long, glossy, pointed fangs. Rarity felt herself grow tense again. “You are out of line, guard,” Nightmare retorted, feeling her eyes begin to grow wet.
No, stop, she commanded herself.
“Rarity-”
“-come on!” Celestia begged, pounding her hooves on the door to no avail. “Let me in!” her protests fell on deaf ears as she slammed her head against the door, whispering to herself to keep her tongue to herself as tears welled up in her eyes.
Luna sat in her bed, staring at the wall blankly as tears streamed down her face. Thoughts were racing through her mind; how could Celestia, the one she thought loved her, say that? She was the one pony that believed in her. Was she lying?
Lying.
She let out a wail, snatching up a broken chair leg in her magic and slamming it against the wall as her face twisted up furiously. The sound pierced her ears, her skin crawling with an itch-like feeling. Heaving, she looked around.
All around her were bits of broken furniture, ranging from the splintered wood of her dressers to shredded curtains drifting in the breeze coming out of her shattered windows. Scratches marked her walls, some digging into the foundation of the castle.
She felt her heart trying to claw out of her chest, a small voice whispering in her head. It told her she was wrong. It told her that Celestia was right. But something was wrong.
Because the other voice, the stronger one, said otherwise.
The door clicked open.
“Luna…” her sister’s voice was soft, yet still pleading. “About what happened… I- he didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it!”
Luna said nothing in turn.
“Really, I mean it! Sure, a lot more ponies might show up to my courts and only show up to yours because they p-” Celestia’s hoof darted to her mouth, Luna’s ears folding back as her head whipped around. She swore under her breath as Luna snarled.
“Oh, really, sister?” she began to raise her voice, leaping off the bed with a small thump as she began to walk towards Celestia.“I guess all my friends just pity me too, and the guards pity me, and I only have this crown because you pity me!” her crying had stopped by the time she shot the words out, backing Celestia into a corner.
“I’m not the one-”
“Don’t act like I don’t hear you and the... the others say these things! ‘She’s too mean’, ‘I don’t like her’, I hear it all through this damned castle!” It was then Celestia’s eyes darted around fearfully, realizing all the damage Luna had caused.
“I think she’s better off alone, huh? She can’t keep a single pony interested in her!?”
She felt a piercing pain in her chest as she saw her sister shaken up. But that one voice was stronger than the other, telling her it was a lie, and she jabbed a hoof into her. Celestia gasped and her eyes met hers. Luna didn’t see the fear anymore; she only saw her own anger.
Before she knew what she was doing, she saw a red mark across Celestia’s face as the alabaster mare stumbled back into the wall, collapsing to the floor. Her pupils were dilated, a wing raised up to shield her from another blow.
The two sat there for a second, Luna’s eyes growing wide as her hoof fell back to the marble. Her tears had stopped, her body shaking. Celestia looked up at her with a glower, closing her eyes as she turned her head to the door. She pushed herself up slowly, walking away.
“W-Wait, I didn’t mean too-
“-to do it!” Nightmare Moon shouted out, breathing heavily.
Rarity’s anger switched to concern, as she lowered her eyebrows and her muzzle returned to normal. Nightmare Moon was trembling as her mouth hung open, staring off into space.
“Please tell me.”
It was then Nightmare Moon touched a hoof to her cheeks, wiping away anything that was there. She opened her mouth to say something, but only ended up furrowing her eyebrows as her cheeks became soaked again. She opened her mouth only to choke on a sob.
Rarity stood up slowly, curling up beside her when no words came to her mind. There the two sat as Nightmare Moon weeped silently, Rarity gently stroking her side as a piercing silence rang through their ears and echoed throughout the room. Hours could’ve passed with the two pressed against one another, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Thoughts of Celestia were racing through Nightmare’s mind as she fought back tears.
Rarity sighed.
“I hate to see you like this, LuLu.”
Luna looked into Celestia’s eyes, wiping away tears as the snow-white alicorn took her hoof into her magic. It was scraped up bad, droplets of crimson blood visible on it.
The two sat in the middle of a row of daisies, the moon shining bright in the sky as Celestia calmly tended to her sister.
“I-It hurts!” Luna whined, sniveling as Celestia benevolently smiled back at her.
“Don’t worry; I’ve got this.”
A golden cloth levitated up beside the blue hoof, wrapping around it. Luna flinched a bit as she tied the ends, but once the bandage was secured Luna smiled, waving her hoof around. Celestia then bent down and pecked it with her lips, Luna giggling as she wiped away tears.
“M’Lady,” Celestia said in an exaggerated voice, bowing down.
“T-Tia, you’re so silly!” Luna snickered back, springing to her hooves in an instant.
“But I’m not the one laughing like a fool, LuLu,” Celestia shot back.
“But I’m not-” Luna’s words turned into a fit of laughs as she was tackled by Celestia, tickled all over as the two ran around the Canterlot Garden until their parents called them back inside.
Nightmare Moon snapped back, growling.
“What did you just say,” she snarled, Rarity pulling her hoof back from Nightmare Moon’s as she scooted away a bit.
“I-I only said I hated to see you like this-”
Nightmare Moon darted to all fours, towering over Rarity as the smaller mare cowered below her. Her wings flared out and her hair tie snapped, hair whipping out all over in stands of sparkling blue. Her head was lowered with her neck raised up high, her hooves sprawled about. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, but she looked intimidating nonetheless. She wouldn’t let herself look otherwise.
“Where did you get that name!?” she demanded, shoving her face into Rarity’s. Rarity shook, unable to speak as her mouth went dry. Nightmare Moon’s ears retraced back as she gnashed her teeth together.
“I only said-”
“-Luna!” Celestia screamed, dark pink cuts mixing in with her white fur as her horn flared to life.
“Stop this! This isn’t like you!” her voice was imploring, wavering with each word as the exhausted mare struggled to hold herself up. They stood outside the rubble of the castle, the sky black with the moon lingering over the sun. Bits of debris crashed down with each second, the building falling apart fast as plumes of smoke wafted into the air. Her body ached.
“Luna,” she snapped, “is dead. I am Nightmare Moon!” She then cackled wildly, a hoof rising up as her head lifted to the sky. “Oh, the moon will look beautiful with your petty little blood painted across it.”
Celestia reared back into the air, scrunching her eyes shut as she pushed the words to the back of her head; she needed to focus. “I will be your only Nightmare until my sister returns!”
“I’d love to see how this goes. I’m as bad as they get!”
Celestia thrust herself to the coal-black mare, gritting her teeth as her horn burst into a sparkly gold. Her wings sprung out from her sides, and she crashed into the dark alicorn, pinning her to the ground. Smells of charred wood and flesh mixed as her nose burned.
Nightmare Moon bared her teeth with a hiss, horn blazing green as she jerked her head forward and blasted a viridescent beam. Celestia flashed away in a spark of white and reappeared behind Nightmare Moon, rearing up with her hooves, ready to slam down on her.
The ebony mare teleported into the air above, swinging her head forward as she shot another ray at Celestia just as her hooves slammed down. She was quick to spread a wing before her in defense, screaming out in pain as it absorbed the blow. Shaking off the smoke and charred bits of flesh, Celestia shot into the air, dodging beams as she made her way towards the dark mare.
Nightmare Moon careened to meet her, yanking her head to the side to impale Celestia’s neck with her horn as the two passed by each other mid-flight. Celestia streaked away under her, rolling onto her back and blasting magic at her exposed stomach, tasting blood as she bit into her mouth.
Her sister growled in throes, blood dripping from her stomach as she lobbed magic back at her, the spells meeting in seconds with an explosion. Celestia was thrust down to the ground as the shockwaves shot out in all directions, rocks digging into her back as she was seemingly dragged down the ground. Nightmare Moon was thrown into the exposed throne room as she skidded across the marble floor.
Celestia was quick to spring back to her hooves despite the sharp pains stabbing into her body, looking around to find Nightmare Moon. She could feel the stone scraping against the now bare skin of her hooves.
What she noticed was the other wing of the castle where the elements were kept, each of them spread across the cracked floor. She had an idea, hooves pounding against the ground as she raced to them. She had to do it.
For Luna. For the foal she grew up with to come back.
Nightmare Moon dove into her back, Celestia slammed to the ground. She rolled onto her back, pushing the jet-black alicorn off her. She then rolled her head backwards up to see the room as Nightmare Moon charged her again, vanishing and reappearing beside them. Her eyes stung from the plumes of smoke coming from the mini fires sparked by rouge magic beams, looking Nightmare Moon in the eyes as the elements lifted up around her and spun around. She then felt her eyes widen as a beam of magic blasted towards her little sister.
“Luna!”
“No!” Nightmare Moon screamed, feeling herself slide off the bed as she turned away from Rarity, tears pouring down her countenance as she scrambled to the patio wordlessly. She could see her sister’s fear, she could see her could see Tia tending to her wounds. Rarity followed her with quick steps, watching as she galloped to the rail. She looked up at the sun, shining in the sky like an orb of fire. She wanted it dead. She wanted it to fall into a millions piece. She wanted-
“-I don’t want her back!” Nightmare Moon shrieked out to the sun, only for her calls to go unanswered. “I hate her!” But more and more memories of the times they’d fought, the times they’d loved each other, the times she regretted everything; they all flooded her mind.
Her breathing was unsteady, and her stomach was doing flips as she looked at the sun. It haunted her. It taunted her. It was laughing at what a fool she was. Rarity stood cautiously behind her, careful not to make a sound as Nightmare Moon slowly returned to normal. It felt like years to Rarity before Nightmare Moon turned back to Rarity, eyes puffy and look downtrodden.
“I can’t forget her,” she started quietly, looking down. “I won’t let myself. I love her, or at least… Luna does. So I have to have her here, even if she can’t be here all the way. I can’t ever forget the sun if Luna can’t.”
Rarity walked up to her, sitting beside her silently. She had no words to say, even if she did want to speak to her. She could never understand what it was like to be her; all she could do was try. But then Nightmare Moon looked over to her, eyes seemingly glowing as she lowered her head.
“Don’t you dare forget the sun.”
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Nice to see another story from you, and you've definitely improved from what I've noticed. Anyway, it's always cool seeing new takes on Nightmare Moon and her connection to Celestia and her previous incarnation, Luna. And honestly, this timeline from the Season 5 finale might be my favorite because it's more distinct than the others.
Keep up the good work!
Hmm, this is a interesting take on that timeline. If I didn't know better, I'd say Nightmare was actually considering bringing her other half's sister back or she at least loves some part of her. Maybe there's more of Luna in Nightmare then she thinks.
Best author notes ever...
7180853 Those were my thoughts.
AWESOME!!!!!
Delivery was rough. The flashbacks were sometimes too long to blend very well with the "now." A couple times i ended up going back to see what had been said before a flashback because it seemed like you'd started a sentence before the flashback, then 5 paragraphs later finished that sentence...but upon checking, no that wasn't it. You were simply using incomplete sentences for some reason. Also, the closeness between Rarity and Nightmare wasn't convincing enough. It needed "more show and less tell." Overall Rarity came across as a nuisance, and Nightmare seemed soft. Nightmare being soft as regards Rarity is perfectly reasonable if they'd become close. But that closeness was insufficiently demonstrated in the story.
Altogether it's not a bad story. But neither is it a great one.
7185435 I was trying to show that what Rarity said was bringing up the flashbacks, which is why the sentences blended in to them. I would like to know how Rarity and Nightmare Moon's bond wasn't working well, along with an explanation on how I told everything instead of showing it. I don't really know what you're talking about in the story
If I'm going to improve I need solid advice on where I went wrong so I can improve in the future. Just what made Rarity a nuisance and Nightmare Moon 'soft'? (what do you mean by soft? that she was being emotional? because if so, that was kind of my point...) 
7185749
You have Rarity saying that they're friends, but at no point do they ever act like it. Instead you very consistently portray Rarity as being scared of being squashed like a bug, and Nightmare as choosing not to because she simply didn't feel like it.
For example:
Do you stare piercingly down your friends? Does sweat roll down your forehead when you're in the company of people you're close to?
No. You very early on characterized this as a strained relationship based on fear.
Why? Because Rarity was afraid. Simply from not paying attention, that her lord and master would strike her down. And when she decided not to punish her, she relaxed her muscles.
Again, the characterization here is of a relationship based on fear.
So you shudder in fear at the thought of disobeying your friends? Nope. Again, fear based relationship.
You have Raritty falling into thinking of her as a friend, and then hastily correcting herself. As if to say "no, I can't let my gaurd down. She's not REALLY my friend, I have to remember that!"
That's how it comes across.
So you've thoroughly established that they're not close, that this is a fear-based relationship, that Rarity could be "punished" at any time for failing to obey...and then suddenly we get this:
It's out of place. I mean, yes...you're confirming that they're not friends because apparently Nightmare doesn't even know that Rarity prefers to be called Rarity. But it's strangely out of place to have Rarity stomping and being indignant at the creature she's just spent the past several paragraphs begin afraid of....oh but "they're friends"
And so how does Nightmare respond?
I think you were trying for "aww, I really like you Rarity, but now is time for serious business, so let's be serious now please."
But after everything that's been etsablished so far, to me it came across more as "hahaha, what an entertaining little bug! I admire your courage in the face of your superior, but I have no time for games."
Throughout the rest of the story, they don't act like friends. There's no playful banter. They don't seem particularly fond of each other. Rarity acts petulantly, and Nightmare just sort of strangely smiles at times at that seem out of place then goes back to being grumpy.
And yet throughout it all you keep touching back on the fear in the relatinoship.
Yep, that sounds like fear.
Yep, fear.
And then the story descends into flashbacks.
I never end of feeling like they're close. I never feel like they're friends. I never get the impression that they've grown to a situation of mutual respect.
I come away feeling like Rarity is pushing her bounds and got lucky.
There are a lot of ways the relationship I think you were intending could have been portrayed. For example:
* You could have shown Rarity as the calm amid Nightmare's storm of fury. Have nightmare clearly angry and lashing out, but Rarity ignore it not because she's brave, but because she knows that they care about each other and that nightmare won't hurt her. Maybe have Nightmare destroy some scenery or execute some guards in her rage, but through it all Rarity isn't afraid, she's concerned for her friend.
* You could have had them engage in playful banter:
"Why do I put up with such flippancy?" Nightmare pondered. "I could wipe you from the face of Equestria with a mere though, you realize."
"Of course you could, darling, but where ever would you find a replacement with as much charm and grace to advise you?"
"Hmm," the nightmare mused. "I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm right, darling. When have I ever misled you?"
"Never," the nightmare admitted. "But the day you do I'll have your head on a pike."
"I would expect no less, your majesty," Rarity saluted, then she booped her beloved tyrant on the nose with her magic. "Now, about those rebels in need of squashing..."
* You could simply thrown in subtle cues that they've known each other for a long time. Instead you did the opposite. You had Rarity not knowing how Nightmare would react, not knowing what she was thinking, etc. That's not indicative of familiarity or closeness.
What if you'd had Rarity nervously fussing with her hair, then stopping the moment before Nightmare entered the scene. And then had Rarity immediately pull out an itinerary and begun speaking about business as if nothing was wrong, all while Nightmare simply stared at her hair.
"...and then there's the issue of the strikes in Manehatten" Rarity continued with increasing frustration. "The mud ponies have demanded that we increase our....WHAT IS IT?!!?!?" she shouted, dislodging a lock of fake hair from her mane.
Nightmare smiled sadly and levitated the fallen back hair into place.
"Oh, great," Rarity choked out amidst a sudden waterfall of tears, "now you've just made it worse."
"I've told you Rarity," Nightmare assured. "You need not worry about your declining beauty. When the time is right I shall make you immortal, and your beauty will never fade."
Some might work more or less well than others, but there are a lot of ways to show closeness without having to inform us that they're friends. Do a text search for the word "friend" and see how many times you have Rarity come right and and say it or think it:
You're not showing us. You're telling us.
7185838 Well, in a way, it was friendship to an extent. While she could occasionally make a snarky remark, Nightmare Moon is still Nightmare Moon. She wants ponies to fear her, even those she might consider friends. I put in those lines to show her thinking; the "that's not the friend part of our relationship" I feel emphasizes this the most. So while Rarity can say they're close and try to act as so, she'll still be scared of her and never really understand her no matter how hard she tries. I thought I made that more clear in the story, sorry if I didn't. Thanks for the advice though, I'll use it in my next story.
All hail our Lord and Savior LuLu
Now how before the mighty Woona!
Some part of Luna remains inside Nightmare to grieve gor the lost sister.
I know you're laying there, contemplating your own death.
Well, just look what you have done; don't you dare forget the sun, love.
~ Chapter: 13
Considering it's always in the sky, I'm sure I won't be forgetting it anytime soon.
7413516 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE RANDOMLY FAVORITING THIS
but yeah it's kinda hard to forget it
7414531If taking the meaning of these word literally... You actually cant forget the sun. (Well, I sometimes forget that it's 12 noon :D). But in the song (from which you took the title) its a metaphor of: faith deprivation, losing belief in God.
Nice story you have here. I liked this but I also don't have any criticism to give out, I'm afraid.
7414531
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5q77MQzU2Q
tell that to Oskaar
As you wish, M'lady...
.
You can has review!
7185902
then make a sequel? spiral downward into destruction.