Chapter 6 Thursday Part 1
Friday Night, Nearly Four Years Ago
Sunset was, as usual for her, upset as she stalked through the darkening streets of Canterlot. She knew more than she once did about the real world that was her current home and counted herself lucky that she didn’t face worse than she did when she first arrived. Then again, she couldn’t help feeling at times maybe it would have been for the best. Maybe it would have been better if some creature of the night had happened across her and just ended her life on the spot.
Kicking a can as she was passing a very dark alley she couldn’t help feeling a shiver cross travel down her spine as memories surfaced despite her attempts to keep them buried. Her momentarily lack of focus cost her though as a pair of hands grabbed her and dragged her into the darkness kicking and screaming, though the hand over her mouth pretty much muffled her cries. It took several moments to push the fear down enough to regain some control of herself as her vision began to adjust to the darkness to see a frightened girl with a blue ponytail shaking her head.
“Dagi, we need real help.” The girl sniffled as the person holding Sunset hissed out in a strained feminine voice.
“We can’t trust anyone, look what they did to Aria!” Sunset’s captor hissed out as Sunset slowly snaked her hand into her pocket, clasping the fully charged gem she had there for emergencies.
“But what good is grabbing her going to do, Dagi? Even if we feed we can’t heal, what are we supposed to do?” The scared girl nearly sobbed out.
“She has powerful magic, can’t you feel it? We feed from her, then we will have enough strength to enchant the doctors at the hospital to treat Aria with no questions!” The angry girl holding Sunset hissed as a third joined them, barely keeping herself upright.
“Dagi, just let me die. I’m tired of this life, tired of having to scrape what little we can to survive when the miasma barely begins to feed us any longer.” The new girl choked out, voice barely audible as she coughed up some blood. The same blood staining a good portion of her clothes in the stomach area. It was a miracle the girl was even standing, then again from what Sunset could figure out, it shouldn’t be a surprise. These girls were not human.
“Enough!” Sunset snapped out angrily after the girl holding her let her hand slide away from her mouth a little. Sunset griped the gem in her pocket, unlocking the flood gate and letting part of the magic held within to just flood out in a shockwave knocking all three girls around Sunset off their feet. “If you think you are going to off me, then prepare to be disappointed. I have someone waiting for me at home, and I’m not going to let you idiots keep me from her.”
“Please, help Aria! Please! You can do magic, right? Real magic?” The pony tailed girl sobbed as she crawled to her knees and pulled at the hem of Sunset’s shirt while staring up with bright, wide eyes.
“Leave her be Sonata, just leave her be.” The injured girl coughed as she rested on her back on the ground where the shockwave threw her. Looking over to see another girl with the biggest hair Sunset had ever seen, she shook her head. She had no reason to help this girl, they were going to do something to her so why help them?
“But, magic!” The girl sobbed out as Sunset knocked her away before starting to storm from the alley.
“We will find some other way Sonata. I won’t let you two down, you are my sisters.” The big haired girl cried softly while staring at the ground from her prone position. Sunset had a feeling that the girl hardly ever cried, but if something wasn’t done very soon then no matter how strong the girl seemed, the injured one would die.
With a heavy sigh and cursing how soft she had started to become since giving birth to her daughter not long ago, Sunset turned and headed to the bleeding girl.
Thursday
“Damn alarm!” Sunset grumbled as she sat up quickly in bed, rubbing her face after hitting the off button. It had been awhile since she had dreamed of her first meeting with the Sirens, but it was preferable to the other dreams she had been having during the week. She would have to thank Sonata for the email Sunset got right before crawling into bed letting her know that the trio was taking a break from singing to finish their last year of school at an actual school. One of the lovely side effects that changing their triggers had, getting rid of their immortality. Thankfully they weren’t upset about that little turn of events, though Sunset herself did feel a little bad about it happening.
With a heavy sigh, Sunset crawled from her bed to get the morning started. She could already hear Moonie helping Granny Peach with breakfast so Sunset went about her morning routine as she got ready for what promised to be a long and possibly stressful day. After she finally made herself presentable, Sunset found her way downstairs to find Twilight hungrily eating pancakes at the table where Moonie was just sitting down herself with one of the new toys she got. It brought a smile to her face making her glad that she told Twilight to give the presents to Moonie this morning. Granted Sunset planned to be there at the time, but she never mentioned that.
“I was going to let you sleep in Sunny.” Granny Peach said with a sad smile while pulling out Sunset’s mug from the cabinet and filling it with coffee before handing it over.
“Thanks Gran, but you know I have to go to school today. Now more than ever.” Sunset said as she flicked her eyes towards Twilight. She had explained things to the older woman last night before checking her emails and hitting the bed. Thankfully she agreed with Sunset that it was probably for the best to have her stay there. She was just too naïve to be stuck with someone else who may end up abusing that innocence.
“If you insist.” Granny Peach sighed, knowing there was no changing the teen mother’s mind.
“Good morning sweetheart.” Sunset said kissing the top of Moonie’s head and hugging her making the girl giggle.
“Morning mama!” Moonie chirped in excitement showing off her new pony version of herself.
“That’s really cute.” Sunset said, feeling a small tinge of jealousy over not seeing her daughter get these special gifts though quickly swallowed it down.
“Auntie Twilight got it for me! And guess what! Auntie Sonata sent me their new CD and said they might come visit soon!” Moonie cheered making Sunset laugh now.
“That was nice of her honey, maybe Granny Peach will help write a thank you letter today.” Sunset said as she helped load the table with everyone’s breakfast that was kept simple yet filling for the day.
“She already did mama.” Moonie chirped while moving her new gifts out of the way of her food.
Sighing as her phone went off, Sunset excused herself from the table to answer it long enough to have a hopefully brief conversation with her lawyer.
“Hey Sharp, what’s up?” Sunset asked, too early to deal with prolonged pleasantries dealing with her work life though keeping it friendly since the two of them were close enough to let formalities go anyways.
“I got you the farm, though there are certain conditions.” Sharp Justice said, her voice a little hesitant which did worry Sunset a little.
“Why does it sound like I’m not going to like these conditions?” Sunset asked as she ran fingers through her hair, blowing a strand out of her face as it dropped down in front of her eye.
“Well, I got him to agree to a non disclosure clause that if he mentions anything about what is revealed to him outside the office he will lose the farm to keep him from telling anyone who you are.” Sharp said nervously.
“And why would he know who I am?” Sunset asked, keeping her temper in check as she had a bad feeling as to what was coming.
“He demanded meeting you early this morning at my office to get a feel for how honest this transaction really is.” Sharp said in a rush in order to get everything out before Sunset could interrupt her.
“And there it is, this week is going down the drain.” Sunset growled, “Don’t worry Sharp, you did everything you could. I need to stop off and see someone before I come in, so I should be there in maybe two hours at most.”
“That’s great, and I do have another bit of news. That production studio that has been trying to get you to sign a new three movie deal has made a new offer. You would have complete creative control of each of the movies if you want and you would be paid separately for each movie. They want you to do some promotional stuff that they will pay five million for if you do a live book signing with exclusive media rights to their news outlets including exclusive interviews.” Sharp explained, no longer tense.
“I’m not sure about that, you know I really don’t want to reveal myself as the creator. Just don’t reject it yet, see if you can get them to hold the deal for awhile.” Sunset said as she started doing calculations in her head. While she wasn’t hurting for money with all her accounts set aside for helping people, day to day living, and family things, that much money was tempting as it could go a long way to helping even more people at the least and providing for Moonie and Granny Peach if anything happened to her.
“They said you have ninety days to make a decision. Anyways, I’ll let him know you will see him in two and a half hours. That should give you plenty of time to take care of your business and make it here to prepare I presume.” Sharp said, laughing as she reminded Sunset of a very important fact. “You know I can’t see you nod, right?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. That will be perfect, see you then. And thanks again Sharp.” Sunset said, laughing to herself and being thankful for the chance to draw her out of her bad mood just a bit more.
“What’s wrong dear?” Granny Peach asked as Sunset returned to the table after sending a quick text to Trixie asking to meet up under the bleachers soon.
“Nothing, I just have to meet up with Sharp so I probably won’t make it to classes today. It will give me more time to stop off at Crystal Prep and find out if there is anything they can do to help get Twilight home.” Sunset explained.
“What about her?” Moonie asked as she pointed to Twilight, “Doesn’t she have school too?”
“It isn’t polite to point honey,” Sunset admonished with a soft giggle shaking her head at Moonie’s quiet eep and sorry, “Though you have a point, she does need classes. Instead of school though, Granny Peach will be giving her lessons to help her get better control of her hands. Your friends should be over later today for your sleepover tonight.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to these.” Twilight sighed as she wiggled her fingers for emphasis.
“You will, give it time. Though I’m hoping I’ll have good news on the front when I get home tonight.” Sunset said giving an encouraging smile though she didn’t feel very confident. She wouldn’t even be going to Crystal Prep if she could avoid it since after her recent dreams she was feeling very sensitive and the attention from that woman always sent shivers down Sunset’s spin.
“What would the principal think if she knew you three were out here smoking? Hmmm?” Sunset smirked as she glared down the Diamond Dog trio who was sneering at her, but was putting out there cigarettes. It didn’t take long to make it onto school grounds, though she wouldn’t be staying for long. She just needed to assign her apprentice a task for the day.
“Someday Shimmer, your get yours you stupid bitch.” The tall lanky one said. Sunset never really bothered to learn their names as they were all bark and no bite as well as being pretty pathetic to boot. While someone like Principal Celestia was an optimist believing that everyone could be redeemed, Sunset didn’t. Sunset was a realist, and she knew the three losers stalking away from her was likely heading to an early death when they were stupid enough to finally try something like they always talk about doing.
She had another twenty minutes until school started and she needed the area under the bleachers on the soccer field for her meeting. She had called one of the few students at CHS that she trusted on her way to school and asked to meet up with them. Moments after no one was around the air filled with a sparkling purple smoke signaling the girl’s arrival.
“Behold, the Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived!” Trixie called out, standing there with her arms thrown high in a dramatic pose.
“Hmmm, great job finally getting the smoke to flow out more. Try another couple drops of the catalyst in your next potion though; it might make it more dense.” Sunset greeted with a nod of approval as Trixie deflated. The girl was doing very well for someone who last year was using cheap parlor tricks and failing half the time.
“Trixie will try, you were right that this smoke works better than Trixie’s old smoke bombs.” Trixie agreed, biting her lip. “You aren’t here to cancel Trixie’s class this weekend are you?”
“Not at all, though you will likely have a new classmate. Don’t worry though, I won’t ignore you. You are my student and I take that seriously.” Sunset said, refusing to make the same mistakes the bitch made with her. She may have a lot less anger towards the princess, but after hearing Twilight’s story it was surging up again. “I do have a favor to ask.”
“Of course, the Great and Powerful Trixie always comes through for Trixie’s Great and Powerful teacher!” Trixie boasted.
“I know Gilda might try to pretend otherwise, but she fears you. She knows you use real magic and she won’t go against you. I want you to keep an eye on Fluttershy today, my lawyer said she’s coming back.” Sunset explained getting a knowing look from Trixie.
“Come on, you know it wasn’t your fault. You haven’t really bullied anyone much all year.” Trixie said softly, switching to a more serious expression.
“Nor have I stopped it. Gran was right, how would I feel if Moonie was bullied? It’s what got me started thinking and back off from pushing everyone away as much. I mean how would I feel if my own daughter was bullied?” Sunset said, “What happened to Fluttershy though.”
“Wasn’t your fault. Trixie knows something that might help settle your mind. Fluttershy’s friends have made up and have been visiting Fluttershy every day.” Trixie said getting a look of relief from Sunset before it changed to confusion.
“Wait, how would you know? Have you been spying on them?” Sunset asked as she leaned against a support pole.
“Sunset, the whole school visited Fluttershy while she was in the hospital except for a few.” Trixie explained, “Trixie went multiple times and witnessed them go from quiet around each other to best friends who seemed like they were never apart.”
“Good for them, Fluttershy needs good friends right now.” Sunset wistfully replied.
“Trixie thinks you do too.” Trixie replied tentatively waiting for the normal argument from the last few months to start.
“Trixie, all I need is my family and what few allies I have.” Sunset said with less force than she would have months ago. Sure she knew the Dazzlings considered her a friend and family after changing the trigger in their amulets to absorb love instead of negative emotions. Something they didn’t trust her to do at first, but there were those who were getting suspicious and have even attacked them.
“So what, Trixie isn’t a friend?” Trixie asked giving Sunset a challenging smirk.
“Trixie…is my student.” Sunset hesitantly replied. Sure a few months ago she had no trouble denying a real friendship between them. Now she couldn’t even bring herself to shoot Trixie down which only earned a victorious grin from the magician.
“Ha, you can’t even deny it. Soon Shimmer, soon you will admit that you have friends! You aren’t fooling Trixie at all! Trixie knows your dirty little secret after all.” Trixie grinned.
“What secret?” Sunset asked with worry since she had a lot of secrets.
“Everyone is talking about how some rich benefactor is secretly paying for Fluttershy’s bills through their lawyer. Well Trixie has met your lawyer and seen the same lawyer delivering a check to Fluttershy’s mom. The mysterious benefactor is YOU Sunset Shimmer!” Trixie gloated while pointing dramatically at Sunset who brushed the hand away gently.
“Really, I already had to tell my daughter it isn’t polite to point, do I have to do the same for you?” Sunset asked.
“So you don’t deny it?” Trixie giggled. “Shimmer, you have a kinder heart that you want to show. Trixie really wishes Trixie knew why you hide it so much.”
“You know why, I can’t afford letting everyone know about Moonie. I’ve made a lot of enemies and they might use her to get to me. I can see Gilda actually attacking Moonie while at the playground with Gran.” Sunset explained.
“Sunset, all playing aside, Trixie worries for you. It isn’t healthy to push everyone away.” Trixie whispered.
“Trix, sometimes I envy people like Fluttershy and you.” Sunset said wiping moisture from her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I love
Moonie and wouldn’t change a thing. Sometimes though I have to admit I envy your freedom. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, to feel whatever you want. Whenever you want.”
“You can if you wanted.” Trixie urged.
“No, Trixie, I can’t. I got myself into this mess being the bitch I was. Even if I wanted friends, there is no one out there who would be willing to give me a chance. And even if they did, I don’t have the luxury to enjoy it. I have a daughter Trixie, a daughter I have to protect and keep away from those who would hurt her to get back at me.” Sunset shuddered a little struggling to get herself back under control. Trixie was getting good at getting under her skin like this lately and was only getting better. Trixie was about to say something when the bell rung making Sunset curse at losing track of the time. “Come on, let’s go before we’re late.”
Neither of them noticed a girl hunched down in the bushes, face hid behind her long pink hair with wide shocked eyes.
The trip to her lawyer’s office only took a few minutes after leaving school since it wasn’t very far away. On the way there she sorted through some pictures she had stored on it which she only had on there because she could lock her phone and the encryption was so good not even the best hacker she knew could get into it.
Walking into the office she nodded in greeting to the receptionist who waved her on back mentioning her guest was already there. Taking a deep breath Sunset pushed the door open to see Sharp sitting at the end of a table with Big Macintosh, or as everyone called him Big Mac sitting next to her. While her lawyer smiled up at her Big Mac sent her a look so dark she could have sworn the temperature dropped a few degrees.
“What is she doing here?” Big Mac asked as he glared up her making Sunset freeze for a moment. She liked planning things out better than this whenever she could and while she had several plans forming, she doubted any would work. She was flying blindly here which she did not really enjoy, but could manage. She hoped she could at least.
“This is the benefactor who wishes to invest in your fame Mr. Mac.” Sharp said patting the young man’s arm. “As I explained, the benefactor is the same one behind a lot of the charity or investments to better the city, especially for the last year.”
“I don’t want no charity, especially from the likes of her!” Big Mac growled out.
“Do you see this?” Sunset demanded as she shoved her phone into Big Mac’s face. “This is my daughter, and she means the world to me. I’ll do anything to protect her and make sure she has the best chances that she can to have a good life. If that means I had to go door to door begging for spare change just to take care of her, I would! I thought you loved your little sisters the same way.”
“I do.” Big Mac said softly, swallowing nervously as he stared at the picture. “Family is everything to an Apple.”
“I have had to do things to keep people at an arms length to make sure she is kept safe. While I regret a lot of it because some of it was me lashing out from the pain I was in at the time, it doesn’t forgive my actions. I’ve done my best to quietly pay back all of those I hurt with your family being some of the last. If you want, just look at this as payback from the pain I caused.” Sunset said as she took the folder Sharp handed to her and flipped through it as she sat down before taking a pen to make some changes to the demands from Big Mac.
“I don’t know what to say, we do need help or we are going to lose the farm. Granny didn’t understand that the taxes changed a few years ago and now we owe so much money in taxes as well as mortgage payments that they are threatening to foreclose on it.” Big Mac sighed.
“Well, I’ll tell you what. I am going to pay the mortgage and catch you up on your taxes no matter what. I still want to invest in the farm though if you will let me. Let’s face it, with your sisters going to school and your Granny working in the cafeteria trying to make extra money to catch you up, you just can’t be expected to take care of the farm yourself.” Sunset sighed as she slid the folder back across the table to Big Mac. He had asked for some business classes to help him with the business side of the farm and the help of a couple workers. Sunset added that all three of the younger apples will get scholarships to do as they pleased with, at least five workers and some new farm equipment that wouldn’t affect the personal touch but would still be enough to make things a bit easier.
“Are you serious?” Big Mac asked as he flipped through the pages, noticing that Big Mac’s name was to be attached to everything and Sunset’s name would be nowhere to be seen.
“Very serious, and I urge you to accept this. Think of your sisters. I know the farm is a big part of your family, but they deserve the options to do something else if they want.” Sunset said.
“Thank you, may I please think about this?” Big Mac asked softly, the want to accept clearly reflecting in his eyes.
“Please do, but please don’t take too long either.” Sunset said with a smile as Big Mac chuckled.
“You know, I’m starting to think there is a whole other side to you than you show people.” Big Mac said.
“Thank you, that is the idea. I prefer to keep my daughter out of the light as much as possible though that may have to change sooner than I would have liked.” Sunset sighed, “Anyways, I have to go, I have another meeting across town. Thank you for coming in Big Mac and thank you for giving my offer some though.”
After a quick handshake Sunset was off to the next encounter of the day.
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This completely lost me. Suddenly Trixie and other characters and...what happened between chapters? Did I miss something or is this just here to introduce a bunch of characters?
7162755 It was supposed to be the next morning basically introducing Sunset's family as well as showing that she's still kind of feared at CHS except by a very few people. This is supposed to be an alternate universe Sunset where magic still exists and can be dangerous which is why she took Trixie as an apprentice. She felt it was safer to take an apprentice and try and steer her away from meddling with the wrong kind of magic than leaving her to her own devices. Maybe I'll try to lengthen it and add more to it when I finish with the first 2 chapters. It's going to take me a few days to get all 3 patched up at least with hopefully a better flow and less mistakes.
7162755 It's also supposed to show that Sunset is more carefree at home and more aggressive at school or around others.
7162780 That's a lotta info pal. Sorry...I just sorta got lost in the chapter due to so much happening so quickly.
I loved the beginning and the following chapters were very intriguing.
7162791 Sorry, maybe I should have scrapped the 3/4 I had instead of finishing it before reading some stuff that was suggested to help with the flow. I just didn't want to leave that much go so I went ahead and finished. I'm going to go back over all three chapters and maybe I can salvage the chapter and make it flow better. Maybe split it up into 2 or 3 chapters?
7162804 Thanks, I'm hoping everything will flow better after I patch everything up. I hope you keep enjoying it.
7162806 I...don't know. Don't change your story just because of my opinion. If you think its right, then keep writing it that way.
If Moonshine or whatever her name is considers Sonata to be aunt, I'm not so sure 'Dagi is the right type of woman to be babysitting her, considering her fanon personality... Fluttershy has to be the pink-haired girl and I thought that Sunset replaced Celestia as Principal.
7162806
7162820
The old debate of "show or tell". I tend to imply a lot of information in my stories instead of actually saying it, too, so I understand this story easier; I also know that people on the opposing side of the scale have a harder time with it... either with understanding the too subtle approach, or with wading through pages of blunt textbook stories. There's a good compromise of them, of course, but it's hard to get there if you don't have a natural talent for it.
7162780
What´s the difference between equestrian magic and Canterlot High´s one?
7162865
It was the Magics.
Ahem
...
A WHOLE NEW WOOORRRRLD!
A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW!
That is all.
7162882
7162871
Equestrian magic is Well magic
And Canterlot high Magic is some Jedi thing
7162874 NO ONE TO TELLL US NO, OR WHERE TO GO, OR THAT WE'RE ONLY DREAMING!
7162820 I'm really not sure, I'm pretty much an amateur and I am looking for help and tips, It's why I'm taking a few days now that I finished this chapter to go back and fix mistakes and read some suggestion to try and help with the flow and see if I can fix it. I really am taking any suggestions seriously.
7162826 It's like the third time this week too!
7162829
Oh Sonata is the only one Sunset really trusts out of the three to watch Moonie for n extended period. Maybe a few hours, but I kind of doubt she would ever trust Aria or Dagi with Moonie overnight. Thankfully there's Granny Peach who adopted Sunset for babysitting duties. And yeah, it was Fluttershy and nope, the class Trixie was talking about was Sunset teaching her magic to help keep her out of trouble with the wrong stuff.
7162858 I may have tried to be too subtle, not really sure on that. I don't even have an ounce of natural talent so I', pretty much screwed on that front. While I seemed to get the last 3 chapters out quick, they were hard to get done and the following chapters will likely be harder as I try to incorporate some new techniques into my writing. Hopefully it pays off.
7162865 Let's just say she didn't have the luck Twilight had and has a very good reason why she doesn't really want romance.
7162871 Equestrian magic can be used with just a thought pretty much by unicorns thanks to their horns which make a perfect conduit. Canterlot has some magic similar, but not a lot as it takes a lot of power to do so for humans and pony turned humans. They are rare, but there are those with a spark of magic that can be channeled through any part of their body, though the easiest way is through their hands. The problem is, it isn't as easy to manipulate as it is back in Equestria. Instead it needs something to channel the magic through such as potions, runes, artifacts and stuff like that. The most powerful mages can do small things without runes like, but it is very difficult. And potions, anyone can brew a potion, but without a spark of magic going through it to charge it, it is useless. It's why Granny Peach and Granny Smith can't make their own stuff even if they wanted to. Now there are those rare few that have a whole other type of magic, usually only 6 in every generation, though they have to be together, in harmony and the magic is very hard to control as it has a mind of it's own. Mainly it can be used as a cleansing spell or a shield, but never as a purely offensive magic.
7162872 Not exactly...though if it was it would probably be between Sonata and Sunset with Moonie's hair.
7162874 7162915 I
that song!
7162903 More like a Wiccan/Paga/Witchcraft thing. I guess the closest thing I can think of to compare it is Charmed without the whole powers of 3 thing and not as much incantations. More like having a rune or glyph, hit it with a spark of your magic, and it activates. Though not everything can be used as a mudium. Chalk works great, bt a pencil wouldn't work at all.
7162940
The ones with the spark of magic... are those with an unicorn counterpart in Equestria, like Trixie?
7162960 It's part of the reason she doesn't want the students to know about Moonie, shes afraid that they will use her against Sunset in an attempt to hurt moonie by either teasing and bullying Sunset over it or even going so far as to physically attacking Moonie just to get back at her. While I doubt hardly anyone would, I wouldn't put it a pat a few like Gilda.
7162903 7162871 I forgot to mention that there are also a few rare cases of certain creatures taking on human form, but still actually has access to their original magic just as easily as they would have before when charged with enough such as the Dazzlings. They still have their pendants which channels their power when they have enough stored to do things like summoning their equestrian forms as astral projections in the real world like they did in Rainbow Rocks.
If you love me let me go
Back to that BAR IN TOKYO!
Where the demons of my past leave me in peace
I'll be animated every night
The grass'll be greener on the other side
And the vampires and wolves won't sink their teeth
I'm sick of dancing with the BEASTS!
7163073 I never heard that, but does make me kind of wonder if I should add Vamps and Weres into the story, even if just as background information.
If Sunset was good from the start in this story, does that mean the Sirens are good from the start too? And what about Abacus Cinch?
I am surprised that I haven't seen anyone post this video in the comments yet, given that title:
I regret nothing.
What happen to Fluttershy and why does Sunset blame herself?
Also glad she realized what she was doing was wrong, and can understand why she terrffied of anyone finding out she has a child, because of her past.
i do hope she able to find friends still.
I'm really liking this AU you're building here. It's a take on EG that I haven't seen before.
7163089 Sunset, in this world, was a bully up until about a year ago. Even though it started out cause of her anger, it changed to push people away from her. She's kind of going behind the scenes to try and make it up to people without giving her name. She's gotten a lot better though and has made friends, even if she won't admit that they are real friends, along the way like Trixie and the Sirens. The Sirens was how the were in Rainbow Rocks until a small religious group tried to kill them several times before Sunset met them. They worked out a deal where Sunset would help them in exchange for letting her change the pendants from active negative emotions to passive positive emotions. This way they can gather energy to sustain themselves by the love and adoration of their fans much like a changeling feeds on love, only it doesn't harm anyone as it can't take more than what is safe. As for Cinch, in this or any other world, she's a bitch.
7163101 Still
it! 
7163102 Fluttershy tried to kill herself by taking a bunch of pills and was in the hospital for awhile. Sunset has gotten a lot better and Twilight will pretty much help her even more as a sister figure. And she really does have friends, at least a few like Trixie and the Sirens, she's just too afraid to admit it right now.
7163128 Thanks, I'm trying my best to try and create a somewhat different take on the world. Though I'm unsure how far too push it into the supernatural side of things as there will be a few problems that have to face, but want to try and concentrate on the Slice of Life thing mostly with a little drama.
7162602
Why is it that every time I make a joke on this site, people take it so seriously?
7163238
Sorry, I thought it was a legitimate question so was giving an answer. 
Mommy Sunset!? Oh no, my heart can't take this level of cuteness!
Also... What happened to Flutters!?
And, is the a pink haired girl Pinkie? Ir yes, Sunset's secret is exposed... To the entire world!
7163260 Yay! Embrace the cuteness!
And sorry, what happened to Flutters is a bit darker. She tried to kill herself. The girl at the end is supposed to be Fluttershy after getting away from everyone for a few minutes going to get some alone time.
7163271 By Odin's beard, that's... That'S dark. I hope she gets better soon.
On the bright side: Sunset is a mommy in this AU! Yay! Cuteness for erveryone! Btw I thought Moonie was Princess Black Snoot when I first read her name.
7163342 She will, she has her friends and Sunset is secretly, well not so secretly anymore, paying for Fluttershy's care while in the hospital and her doctor's bills for the doctor she is seeing. And Moonie was named after her because Sunset was actually told about her unlike Twilight. Just not about her possible release and the elements possibly being able to save her.
Hmm. This story is a good idea... but there's clearly a lot of retconning going on that needs to be explained in the story. I see some bits and pieces here and there in the comments, but it really needs to be in story proper. At least to clear up some of the glaring points of confusion.
For instance, the one weird hole I can't wrap my mind around: So Equestria is real, and Sunset came from there. In the human world she then "invented" My Little Pony and has been living off the profits from that. By apparently pure coincidence, the stories she made up (of ponies she'd never met in a time after she'd left) just happened to concurrently actually happen in Equestria (since she knows who Twilight is and who her friends are). In addition, in the two years she's been in human-land she's spent 6 months on the streets, another 6 as semi-canon evil Sunset, and in the final year managed to acquire a grandmother, a clearly toddler aged child, reform the Sirens, and begin training Trixie in real magic.
...
...
...Lucy, you got some splainin' to do.
[Edit] Wait, is this a sequel? Because that would probably clear a lot of my confusion if it is.
This is another lesbian pairing isn't it?
7163527 Well, there is a lot different in the EG universe compared to the pony universe. The only change in the ponyveres is the mirror opening a different time and Sunset going through a lot earlier as well as Twilight being brought in before she left. The My Little Pony cartoon is My Little Pony, not Friendship is Magic, but stories based around her daughter and friends she made up for her. Some of the books consist of true stories based on her and legends she knows about from Equestria as well. She doesn't know anything abou Twilight's adventures other that what Twilight has told her about the Wedding and her week (I messed up in the story and will be replacing it tomorrow with chapter 2 corrections, but taking a break since I'm heading to bed.). Sunset has been human for years and has learned a lot about magic here kind of becoming a local herbalist that goes through Granny Peach so others don't know who she is. As for Moonie, she was born when Sunset was a lot younger. I am planning to address everything as time goes on, just too much to go over in just one chapter explaining it in story. It isn't a sequel, though I am thinking about writing a prequel when I finish.
7163554 Seriously? You haven't noticed me saying, multiple times even, that it is getting less and less likely that there will be any pairing at all as Sunset has too many issues with any sort of romantic relationship?
7163662 Thanks, glad you are finding it so.
7163086
Someone's read an Ash Ketchum fanfiction or two, haven't they?
I can't wait to read of how things are falling in Equestria with Twilight leaving.
7163627 Alright, that does clear up a fair amount (except for both of them saying they are the same age, but I suppose that can be written off as portal time dilation or whatever) and I can see how I may have misinterpreted thinking she knew of Twilight's friends.
There's still just one thing that is picking at my brain, if you could possibly clarify. Sunset knew Twilight's name right when they met and recognized her as "the girl she once hated with a passion". Admittedly she might know SciTwi, but then there'd be no reason to assume that Twilight is "the girl the bitch in princess clothing replaced Sunset with" since SciTwi has no special tutelage to compare things to.
Or maybe everything I'm questioning will be wiped away in the rewrite. Who knows?
This just got a WHOLE lot interest. I'm looking forward to seeing what has happened in your universe.
7163941 The problem is why is Twilight helping Cadance with a wedding that apparently she hasn't been invited to? Why haven't they immediately re-invited her?
This one has sparked my interest, but then I am a sucker for Sunset Shimmer, especially as a mentor.
Unfortunately this does suffer from wonky pacing, awkward transitions, and an overall problems in information conveyance.
These problems combined are pretty grating.
Still hoping to see the ones in equestria's reaction when they realise twi is not there
7163963 Agreed. Some AUs work with this style of info transference, with flashbacks and stuff. I've used them myself to good effect, but the more changes made the more problems you get...
Speaking purely from my opinion as an AU author who was generally successful, clearly a lot of changes have been made in this AU. sunset = good, apparently friends with the sirens... Celestia implied to have messed up more than before? There are some interesting ideas with this Alternate equestria and I like the changes you made to canon, but you need to explain some things.
The changes don't need to be explained instantly, but its difficult to identify with the characters, if we're not quite sure... well how different these characters are from the characters we know. Until then, an AU has to keep the interest of the reader... well should have a story that progresses to when the reader finds out all the changes (or well more about Sunset in general). The informatation transference and lack of clear linear pacing is interefering with that. I LIKE that you showed the police, Royal Guard, and Twilight nearly getting arrested. I like that very much in fact. I'm interested in Moonie and how Sunset got a daughter.
But you're telling the story from a variety of perspectives that... well they make sense, but they are difficult to follow and instead of promoting interest, they raise so many questions and don't seem to have any ... coherent progression. I thought we're supposed to see it from Twilight's perspective as she slowly learns about Sunset, meets Moonie, Trixie, but suddenly Trixie's involved and she's nice? Instead of easing us in, there are a LOT of questions we're being thrown at and only more is being thrown at us as the story progresses.
So great ideas here, I have no issues with the changes you've made, I have no hate XD, I'd just think you might need to reconsider how you want to tell the story. It's not exactly a flow issue, it's a plot progression/storytelling sequencing issue. I'd suggest trying to set us into Sunset's life, show us Sunset's house, show us Twilight walking into there, show us her first night. Describe Sunset's living conditions, the food they're eating, is Moonie staying with them or not? Make Twilight and Sunset interact, show us Sunset's issues with Celestia in her interactions with Twilight, I mean Twilight's going to be talking more about waht brought her here... possibly showing her anger with Celestia. Showing and developing all of this slowly builds drama, builds character, builds a robust story... which you have some great ideas for, and I'd love to see you pull off.
making the sirens good just kill this again for me. Sorry.
7164033
Given the lack of narrative details, it is certainly difficult to say WHAT is going on.
Sunset is a young mother, and a teacher... and has amassed some money by "creating" My Little Pony.
It is the biggest downside to this type of storytelling, it's an AU with little basis on the source material.
Yet the author is less than clear on explaining WHAT is different, what diverged, and when.
The Sirens seem family friends NOW, but we have little more than name drops to go on.
For all we know they tracked down a pregnant Sunset in order to steal her magic and she curbstomped them Mama Bear Style.
Moonie is at least 6 so there is a lot of time and development missing here.
Hrm… really, the biggest issue I have with this is that we have Twilight as a reader-proxy that's ideal for introducing the human world and its inhabitants, but instead it's just glossed over, and Twilight's own story is told in fits and starts with a few offhand comments from Sunset Shimmer saying, basically, "things are different here" and "you'll have to get used to that" with absolutely no character interaction. It feels like you're rushing to touch all the bases as fast as possible in a series of scenes—and not even the scenes that the reader would expect or want to see. I don't feel like what I'm reading is a story. Information-dense is fine, but it has to flow naturally from scene to scene with back-and-forth dialogue and a sense of logical progression.