Chapter 2 Wednesday (Edited)
Sunset Shimmer
6 Years Ago
It was so cold without her fur and she had to admit that the creatures in this world made her miss home. A part of her even wished just to be held by that old nag who dared throw her out of her own home. In hindsight it was stupid demanding Celestia turn her into an alicorn no matter how much Sunset knew it was her right to be one, to be a princess. She knew that the new purple unicorn that seemed to be Sunset’s age was taking up all of Celestia’s time no matter how much she begged and pleaded with the Princess.
Another cold breeze blew into the large cardboard box that Sunset was huddled up in trying to stay warm. It only served to strengthen her resolve as she would be in the same predicament back in Euestria or here in this world. It had only been a few days, but Sunset promised herself if she was here for days, weeks, months or even years that she would survive. She would show that bucking nag that Sunset Shimmer didn’t need her!
“C-Cold!” Sunset hissed as she hugged herself tighter. She only packed a few things in her saddlebag before coming here including a few books and bits. She didn’t expect to lose her form, much less her fur as well. “I bucking hate you Princess!”
The box being jostled made Sunset shrink into herself more as she heard the humans whispering in what seemed like a heated argument just outside the box. It didn’t take long for her to learn what the creatures were and even less time to decide it wasn’t in her best interest to trust them. She had seen a few fights between humans since she had been here and they had scared her enough to avoid them at all costs.
“Look man, I’m telling you I’ll pay double later if you just front me a little. I’m going crazy here, no money for a fix or a decent prostie.” A voice pleaded, it’s desperation clear.
“And I said no, I’m getting out of this stuff man. My own kid overdosed this week because of my stash in the garage. No more.” Another voice replied, deeper and kind of sad sounding as the box above Sunset’s head began to dip in. It didn’t take a genius to figure out one of the men were leaning on it. She wasn’t sure if she should try to stay hidden or make a break for it. Her decision was taken out of her hands when the whole box caved in on top of her followed by the man.
“Son of a bitch!” The man cried out stumbling to his feet and catching a glimpse of a dazed Sunset through a large tear in the box that he just created. Before Sunset could make a break for it he had reached in and grabbed her by the arm and roughly yanked her out making her scream in pain while trying and get free.
“What are you doing? She’s just a kid!” The other man snapped out with an angry look on his face. His approach was halted as the man holding Sunset pulled one of those ‘L’ shaped devices out of his pants and pointed it at the other.
“I don’t give a shit! I just found my fun for the evening and since you aren’t going to help me with my other fix you can go!” The man said waving the thing in the other guy’s face as he backed away with a look of fear and disgust. After he was gone the man holding Sunset pulled her around to face him with the scariest look Sunset had ever seen. “Looks like we get to have some fun.”
Sunset Shimmer
Present Time: Wednesday
Sunset bolted upright in her bed, holding the sheets to her chest as she shook while trying to catch her breath. She hated this time of year because of the nightmares it always brought. Thankfully it was several months after Moonie’s birthday so Sunset’s mood wouldn’t spoil the girl’s birthday celebrations. It still took a toll on Sunset as she remained somewhat more paranoid and on edge during this time.
“Just great, now I’ll never get back to sleep.” Sunset groaned after noticing the clock display that read 2:00. A little shaky Sunset climbed from her bed, sliding her feet in her house shoes and throwing a robe on and tying it shut. It wasn’t the air making her shiver though as much as she tried to tell herself it was, but rather her nerves and left over fear from the nightmare. Heaving a deep sigh Sunset set off out of her room in search of something to help calm her nerves.
As she stepped out of her room she looked across the hall where another room had it’s door cracked open with the soft light from the nightlight within spilling out across the floor joining with the one in the hall. Quietly she stepped across the hall to push the door open to find a young girl’s room and despite it being a little difficult to see everything she knew where each and everything in it was.
To the right of the door was a little desk with a lamp on it with a bookshelf filled with many books including every single story, every single spinoff of ‘My Little Pony’ which was surprisingly such a huge hit. No matter if it was the stories of the rebellious Sunlight Strider which was fantasies of adventures she dreamed about as a filly to the comics based of the cartoon serious where Bright Moon and her two friends went on misadventures while learning under the sole ruler of Equestria, Princess Night. Then there was also the stories based off the legends and history of Equestria tweaked a bit for a better story.
To the left of the door was a dresser filled with more clothes than Sunset had ever seen as a filly and it filled her with happiness that she was more than well off enough to afford them now. And if that wasn’t enough, every open surface other than the desk was filled with toys and stuffed animals, most being from My Little Pony though there were the occasional different toy scattered into the mix. There was no television in the room though as Sunset didn’t think it was a good idea as she wanted to see what was playing on it. In a few years maybe, but not now.
As she moved past the desk she noticed that there was a new stack of papers there and crayons. Sunset was really tempted to try and see them better as she really enjoyed her daughter’s drawings. She may have been a little biased, but the artist was very good for her age. Looking over towards the center of the room where a small bed with dark sheets and blankets with a night sky theme with moons and stars, Sunset smiled as she could make out the small figure sleeping peacefully. Stepping over to the bed Sunset fixed the covers on the barely five year old girl, then leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She could just make out the matching skin tone as the two shared the same as well as hair design. Instead of Sunset’s flame colorization, the little girl had dark blue for the dominant color with a light blue as the secondary.
Shaking her head as she thought of Sonata once again, the girl could pass as their daughter instead of the actual relationship they shared. Not that either of them swung that way to begin with, Sunset especially. She didn’t really feel as if she would ever be ready for an actual romantic relationship. Just too many things preventing it, mainly the fact that every year at this time she would see his face in her nightmares time after time. It was kind of unbelievable that the man who ran was the one who called the police saving Sunset from even more pain from the bastard. It was too late to stop what happened that created the child sleeping in the bed, but Sunset wouldn’t change it.
No matter how much pain she has been through over the last few years, this little girl was the best thing that has ever happened to her. She was her light, her reason for going on and finding a better path in life. She was doing so much better this year as she moved past lashing out in anger and hatred and had done her best to be the role model this little girl needed. The mother that bitch in Equestria never was to her.
“Don’t worry Princess Night, we will stand with you to face the Solar tyrant and lock her back in the sun for another thousand years!” Moonlight Dreamer groaned out as she shifted in her sleep making Sunset smile. The cute action pulled Sunset away from her growing dark thoughts. It took everything for Sunset not to ‘Dawww’ at the incredible cuteness that was her daughter.
“Sweet dreams little Moonie.” Sunset whispered before sneaking back out of the room. As she walked to the stairs she looked farther down the hall to make sure both doors were closed tight before descending slowly to make sure she didn’t make any noise. Not that she was worried about the empty room, it was the one that her Granny Peach was in that worried her. She was pretty sure the older woman really wouldn’t approve of what she had planned so didn’t want to wake her.
Slipping through the living room that had leather couches and love seats set up in a U around a coffee table facing the biggest television Sunset could find with the best entertainment system she could get. The shelves on either side lined mostly with family friendly movies, a few less family friendly ones locked away in a drawer on the bottom. Nothing nasty, just ones that were a little scary or more mature than the normal things she let Moonie watch.
Passing through the dining room where there was a hutch with formal dinner sets she made it to the kitchen where there was a smaller table set along with a double oven built into the wall and an island surrounded by stools on one side and a range in the middle. A sink and dishwasher lined one wall while a large fridge was on the other next to the door to the pantry. It was probably the biggest kitchen she had ever seen, but she insisted on it when she had the house built for her family. Thankfully the light that she turned on here wouldn’t shine out thanks to the swinging door.
Looking over her shoulder to make sure that she didn’t wake Granny Peach up, Sunset stepped over to the pantry and reached above the doorframe and found the hidden key. It wasn’t a good idea leaving the pantry unlocked since it had not only the junk food stashed inside, but also the knives and the prize Sunset was after. Unlocking the door and stepping inside she walked straight ahead following the shelves that lined each of the four walls with all kinds of foodstuffs and other kitchen items except for one shelf near the top of the farthest rack. A shelf Granny Peach reserved for herself. A shelf where Sunset grabbed a bottle of scotch and retreated to the kitchen to hopefully work up a good enough drunk that her nerves would settle down. Within a minute she had a glass with ice before taking a seat at the table.
For several minutes Sunset sat there just staring at the bottle. It wouldn’t be the first time she had a drink to calm her nerves, but Granny Peach really didn’t like her doing it. There was alternatives such as mixing the right herbs along with some other ingredients and add a spark of magic to activate the inert properties to make it a real potion to soothe her nerves and help her sleep. There were two problems with that method, the first being that it took several hours to brew the potion and the other was that she already had another potion brewing occupying the equipment needed. Why didn’t I make some earlier?
Taking a deep breath Sunset opened the bottle and poured some in the glass as she watched the amber colored liquid wash over the ice before enough was poured to raise the ice and throw the small cubes around in the turbulent liquid until she slowed pouring it and finally stopping all the way when the glass was mostly full. Looking at the glass she wondered if she should have gotten a regular glass that would hold a lot more instead of a shot glass which wouldn’t hold enough to really start affecting her much.
Taking a small sip she had to hold back the coughing fit that accompanied the warm feeling the liquor brought despite the ice as it traveled down her throat. She couldn’t help thinking about the last year and how good it has actually been up until recently. “I wonder if this is the normal crap or if the stress is getting to me.”
“I’d say a combination of both.” A voice said from behind her nearly causing her to spill her drink. Looking up she found Granny Peach pulling out the teakettle and begin filling it with water.
“I can explain Gran!” Sunset choked out only for Granny Peach to give her a small, sad smile.
“You don’t have to explain, I know you have had it rough since the news of that poor girl came.” Granny Peach explained, “That doesn’t mean you need to be resorting to my liquor young lady. I’ll make us some tea then we can talk about it.”
“Thanks Gran.” Sunset smiled as the older woman plucked the glass from her hands and empty it down the sink.
“You’re more than welcome Sunny.” Granny Peach said as she pulled out the things needed for a good tea to sit them on the table before returning to grab the kettle before it started to whistle to avoid waking Moonie up. After preparing their tea Sunset stared into her mug stirring it slowly.
“Gran, have I told you how much I love you lately?” Sunset asked giving a genuine smile to the older woman. She couldn’t help admiring how even this early in the morning the woman’s pale peach colored skin and light blue hair seemed to be perfect, even her brown colored eyes seemed fully aware and full of love and knowledge ready to be shared.
“An abundance of times, but I’ll never grow tired of hearing it.” The woman said while giving a teasing smirk over her mug while blowing across it. The water was hot, on the verge of boiling which would have caused the kettle to whistle yet Granny Peach plucked it off the fire just at the right time. Something the older woman had a knack for doing that confused Sunset. “I heard you mention stress though honey, are you still stressing over that Fluttershy girl? You know you didn’t push her into trying to kill herself.”
“Maybe not Gran, but if I didn’t break those girls up before giving up being a bitch to everyone then they would have been there for Flutters. Gran, it’s because of me that Gilda had such an easy opening to bully and push her into believing it was the best option.” Sunset sighed, knowing it was all true yet Granny Peach would probably dismiss it.
“I won’t deny that you did some shitty stuff, dear, but that wasn’t who you really are. You were hurting and angry over what that bitch did to you only to get attacked by that monster. You have changed and the young woman I see sitting before me right now is the young woman I knew was deep inside that little hellion I adopted when I learned of what happened.” Granny Peach explained as she reached her free hand across to take Sunset’s and give it a squeeze. “You are doing everything you can think of to make up for the things you did in the past, but you need to let go of the past to move onto the future.”
“Sometimes I wonder if just secretly paying bills for people who really need it is doing anything to make up for what I did.” Sunset said as she stared down into her tea wishing she had the scotch back.
“I still think you should give some of them a chance to become friends with you. Let them get to know the real you like that Trixie girl.” Granny Peach suggested, letting Sunset’s hand go as she motioned to the tea. “Drink before it gets cold.”
“Trixie isn’t a friend, Gran. She’s a necessary acquaintance.” Sunset grumbled, not wanting to get into the same argument that they always got into with her lack of friends. If you could even call it an argument. “You know I can’t risk having friends. It’s bad enough that Trixie knows about Moonie, what do you think would happen if Gilda found out about her. What about any number of students who I hurt in the past few years since we moved into here?”
“You really should have more faith in humanity, you might find that we can be very surprising honey.” Granny Peach teased, already knowing the truth and accepting it about Sunset. She’s seen much stranger things in her long years.
“I do have faith in you Gran, it’s the kids at school I’m not so sure about.” Sunset sighed with a roll of her eyes.
“Look, why don’t you take the day off from school and go visit Fluttershy. She will be returning back to school tomorrow don’t forget.” Granny Peach suggested as she finished her tea.
“Gran, I don’t think she wants to see me right now.” Sunset pointed out, still blaming herself for what had happened to Fluttershy despite Granny Peach’s constant reminders that she didn’t push Fluttershy into taking a whole bottle of pills.
“The whole school has visited her, everyone except for you.” Granny Peach said as she made herself another cup of tea from the left over water in the kettle.
“Gran, it isn’t happening so let’s please drop it.” Sunset sighed, giving the best pleading look she could. Not that she was good at them in the first place. No, the one who was best with such looks in this house was Moonie all thanks to Sonata’s influence when the girl managed to visit thanks to their hectic tour schedule.
“Okay, I’ll drop it for now. I think we should discuss the other things bothering you.” Granny Peach suggested.
“Gran, it’s fine, they are just nightmares that will go away soon.” Sunset said, squeezing her mug a little tighter as she took another sip. The look on that man’s face would always haunt her.
“Maybe you should let me make an appointment with your doctor and call you off of school for today.” Granny Peach suggested, only to be caught between pride and disappointment. Disappointment as she really hoped the girl would accept though she pretty much knew she wouldn’t. Proud because Sunset was genuinely trying to do her best all around wither it be for school or being a good role model for Moonie.
“No thanks, I have tests today. Plus it would be better if I stayed occupied because I think less about it then.” Sunset explained, running her fingers through her hair.
“Sunny…just don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Okay? I’m here for you no matter what.” Granny Peach said softly, getting up to go hug Sunset.
“I know Gran, I love you.” Sunset said as the woman kissed the top of her head before straightening back up.
“And I love you my little Sunbeam. Maybe you should go get some rest.” Granny Peach suggested as she gathered their things up and put them in the dishwasher to clean.
“I’m too worked up, Gran. I’m going to head down to my office and get some work done.” Sunset said as she got up and hugged the woman, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “I might as well get caught up on some of the stuff I’ve been putting off.”
“Just don’t overdo it.” Granny Peach sighed, knowing that there was no way to talk Sunset out of it.
“I won’t, goodnight Gran.” Sunset said as she left the kitchen followed by Granny Peach who flipped the light out.
“Good night hon.” Granny Peach replied.
It didn’t take long to make her way back through the living room and through the door under the stairs to descend into the basement which was her sanctuary. Of course the first room was just for laundry and was rather small, but passing through a door there led into her office where she had a large desk with a desktop computer sitting on top with a large entertainment center with a tv similar to the one upstairs with even more movies. Only difference was that the movies in the shelves on either side of it had more mature movies mixed in since Moonie wasn’t allowed down here due to her work being dangerous. Her glyphs kept any accidents contained down here, though most work was done in her lab which was hidden in another room off this one with all of her tomes in a hidden library in the opposite direction with another room which could be accessed off either of those for testing out new theories or existing magic. All of the hidden rooms were reinforced even more to keep anything from even having the smallest possibility of hurting her family.
Looking over at her desk she sighed when she noticed the stacks of paperwork there from offers from various publishing houses and movie studios to try and get her to sale all her rights to My Little Pony to them thinking that they could manipulate her after learning that she is younger than expected. As if they ever stood a chance against her seeing that she was a better manipulator than any of them could ever hope to be. Not that she was very proud of the skill any longer, but it was at times a necessary evil.
The offers wasn’t the only thing though, her journal concerning the sirens sat open as she was going over everything that she has done for them so far. Their current tour was coming to a close and she was sure they would stop by soon if for no other reason than Sonata manipulating her sisters into coming to see Moonie. Sunset swore the youngest of the sirens could be just as manipulative as Sunset at times as the girl admittedly was happy go lucky, but she wasn’t as stupid as she led others to believe. She supposed it was a good defense mechanism over the years until their luck ran out. If they hadn’t attacked Sunset back when they did, she was sure they would be dead from those religious zealots who believed anything different was evil. They weren’t religious, they used it as an excuse because no sane religious person would torture an innocent in the name of their god, especially a child.
Flipping through the book she came across a few sketches she made including a pony-like insect that she remembered reading about back in Equestria called a changeling and a very well endowed woman with small bat-like wings and a long prehensile tail and a single jagged horn on her forehead which was a succubus she once met though it wasn’t the queen which she had come to know after. Both species fed on love and both were the basis for what she had done for the sirens. It was a lot of work, as well as dangerous to both the sirens and herself. It was worth it though as it kept the sirens from causing riots and hate to spread wherever they went which was being noticed by the zealots. Now they didn’t cause anything when they sang, all they did was absorb the ambient energies that the excitement and adoration of their fans gave them allowing more normal lives. Well, as normal as newly international superstars could lead anyways.
“I’ll worry about this later, I should check on Granny Smith’s potions and prepare her tea leaves.” Sunset sighed, moving to the opening between two of the shelves where an autographed poster of the sirens hung and placed a hand on the wall channeling magic into it causing the surface to ripple as if it was water. Taking a deep breath she stepped through into her lab to begin what really should have already been done if she wasn’t so preoccupied with everything else. Something that only happened when she was as stressed out as she was now.
Princess Luna
“I’m sorry Princess Luna, but your sister asked to be left alone with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza for the time being.” The two solar guards said stiffly as they crossed their spears barring Luna’s entry into the throne room. Normally she would respect her sister’s wishes to be left alone, especially after the harrowing ordeal that was the invasion.
Normally.
This wasn’t normally.
“You two idiots have until the count of three to move and let me pass, or by every star in the night’s sky I will make sure the two of you have the most horrible nightmares ever conceived every night for the rest of your miserable lives.” Luna growled at seeing the sweat begin to bead upon the two stallion’s brows as they did a commendable job of not letting their knees hit one another from all of their shaking.
“One…” Luna said as she gave them a sweet smile that bordered on the insane as her teeth began to sharpen and her coat began to darken. Not that she would really hurt the poor ponies who was only doing their job. She was royally pissed off though and these two would not keep her from her prey.
“Two…” Luna began to cackle as the shadows began to dance around them blocking out some of the morning light. Her Nightmare Moon transformation began to sweep over her quicker and quicker with each heartbeat.
“Three!” Luna cackled as she took on the guise of Nightmare Moon making the two guards jump to either side of the large doorway. And with that the darkness suddenly went away and Princess Luna was left standing there suppressing a giggle despite her foul mood. “Thank you.”
“Y-Y-Your welcome, Ma’am!” The two guards saluted as the looked like they has seen a ghost.
Taking a deep breath Luna charged up her magic deciding on a much more dramatic entrance, she blew the large heavy doors clear off their hinges making them clatter across the floor stopping just feet before reaching the two thrones where Celestia was sitting in one and Cadence was resting in the other. Neither looked in very good shape as both had obvious signs of crying, but for once Luna couldn’t bring herself to give a buck. At the moment she had used up every single buck she could spare for her dear sister.
“I have had enough waiting dear sister. Where is Twilight Sparkle?” Luna hissed out, her eyes flashing momentarily as she fought the sudden rage in her heart at seeing Celestia before her. She hated being this way, but enough was enough. “Where is my descendants?”
“Descendants?” Cadence asked as she turned a shocked gaze back and forth between the two sisters.
“Luna, please dear sister, we will talk about this later.” Celestia pleaded while motioning with her eyes towards Cadence.
“We will talk about this now dear sister!” Luna snapped out angrily. “For months I searched for any possible descendants from my children before the nightmare took over and you knew! You bucking KNEW!”
“Auntie, perhaps you should calm down.” Cadence said softly as she got up and went to put a calming hoof on the dark alicorn.
“No Cadence, I will not calm down.” Luna snarled trying her best to get her emotions under control before a repeat of a thousand years ago occurred. Only this time it wouldn’t be her getting locked up in the moon.
“Sister, I told you after the wedding and after I secured Twilight’s ascension-“ Celestia started only to be cut off by Cadence.
“What do you mean Twilight’s ascension?” Cadence asked, turning to narrow her eyes at Celestia.
“Yes sister, please do tell.” Luna snarled as that was never part of the deal. Luna promised to back off from dropping the bomb of information so as not to overshadow the joyous event that was supposed to be Shining Armor and Cadence’s wedding. To keep from blurting out the information she had kept to her quarters for most of the duration of the preparations intending to only join them at the wedding and reception. In order to do so she had room service bring her her meals which apparently included something laced with enough sleeping potion to knock her out during the entire attempted wedding and invasion. As embarrassed as she was for falling for it, she couldn’t help wonder why she was only knocked out and not killed.
“Sister, Twilight is special and so close to achieving what only so few-“ Celestia began once again trying to soothe things over, not that it was doing any good.
“Save it! I. WANT. MY. GRANDPONIES!” Luna bellowed using the full effect of the Canterlot Voice actually pushing Celestia back several inches.
“Grandponies?” Cadence asked with confusion.
“The House of Twilight is the last of my descendants and they don’t even know it. They should be the highest ranking noble family in Canterlot yet sister dearest lets blowhards like the Bluebloods trot all over them.” Luna snarled, “My family is considered the lowest of the low on the nobility food chain and I will not have it!”
“Wait, are you saying that Twily and Shiny are-“ Cadence said slowly as her eyes slowly grew in size as full realization hit.
“My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfoals.” Luna said with a curt nod making Cadence’s mouth drop open.
“Auntie Luna, Celestia believes that she may have a possible idea of what could have happened to Twilight.” Cadence said as she ignored the frantic hoof signals from Celestia trying to get her to be silent until Luna’s fury once again began to return.
“And when were you going to tell me this?” Luna seethed.
“I wasn’t,” Celestia sighed hanging her head in defeat. “I was going to try and find out if Twilight went through the mirror first.”
“And how were you going to do that?” Luna demanded as she glared at her sister with such intense anger Cadence was afraid the older sister would burst into flames. She knew the only mirror in the palace that a pony would go through is the mirror portal.
“By using a journal that is part of a pair to try and contact…an ex student of mine.” Celestia said, the pause making Luna study her intently.
“What aren’t you telling me, sister?” Luna growled out.
“I’m not hiding anything sister. I simply failed a student some years back by not being there for her as I should have been. She took what few things she had as far as I can tell and fled through the portal while it was still active, including a magic journal that acted as two way communication between us.” Celestia explained making Luna study the face of her sister as the white alicorn scuffed a hoof on the ground.
“There’s something you aren’t telling me.” Luna accused Celestia as Cadence swallowed nervously. The only student that she remembered being around other than Twilight was.
“Sunset Shimmer. She’s the student you threw out of the castle.” Cadence said slowly, remembering the angry unicorn.
“Wait, you threw a student out of the castle? What was she doing, living here?” Luna asked, studying the saddened look on Celestia’s face. A look that didn’t truly sit right with Luna.
“Her mother was one of the servants here.” Cadence said with a far off look. “Now that I think about it, she still works here. Stays in the servant’s quarters if I remember right.”
“Let me get this straight, dear sister of mine. You threw the filly of one of the castle servants out on the street. A servant who is still here mind you, while that poor filly had nowhere to go?” Luna asked clenching her teeth.
“It wasn’t like that!” Celestia snapped, her eyes blazing as she glared at Luna who took a step back. “I loved Sunset Shimmer! I did everything I could think of to turn her around until I felt I had no other choice but to use scare tactics! Do you really think I would throw my own…“
“Your own what?” Luna asked as Celestia’s anger died down as she balked on finishing her rant. “She wasn’t your student, was she? She was your own daughter.”
“Auntie Luna, don’t be ridiculous. Why would Auntie Celestia throw her own daughter away instead of giving her the life she deserved as a princess?” Cadence said as she tried to banish the claim from her mind. Only the look on Celestia’s sullen face wouldn’t let her.
“She was an illegitimate foal, Caadence. Her father was a dignitary from Saddle Arabia and if the nobles found out about her it would be a feeding frenzy. They would have been after both her and me trying to discredit me and either use her or make her life miserable. She was better off being raised by a pony I trusted to help guide her on the right path. I just didn’t expect her to have so much power so early.” Celestia sighed, “I had no choice but to take her under my wing when the little ponies at my school kept harassing her about being a servant’s daughter.”
“Yeah, just more elitist scum replacing the old. I thought after a thousand years you would have straightened that out, but I guess I was more wrong than I thought.” Luna said shaking her head in a mixture of anger and disappointment in her sister. She loved her sister dearly which was the only reason she didn’t completely despise Celestia at the moment. If any pony was close to earning that though, it was her dear sister.
“How could you, Auntie?” Cadence asked with a horrified expression, covering her mouth with her hooves.
“Look, we are getting off track here. You said you have a journal that can communicate with your daughter?” Luna demanded, a curt nod from Celestia being her only answer. “Then I want it and full access to the mirror. With a connection between the books I should be able to force the portal open and go in search of Twilight and Sunset Shimmer.”
“Wait, why both of them?” Celestia asked out of curiosity.
“Because I intend to find both my granddaughter and niece and bring them home, or at the very least, make sure they are okay.” Luna explained, “I will be the one going though.”
“Let me go Auntie Luna, I have to find Twily and make sure she is okay and Equestria needs you.” Cadence suggested.
“You may come, but I go as well. Equestria did okay without me for a thousand years. What’s one more week which is all I’m planning for it to take. And even then, if we are stuck there for the thirty moons, again Equestria can get by without me. Family is what is important, something you could do with learning dear sister.” Luna growled giving Celestia a scowl. “I want that journal by this evening dear sister.”
Cadence turned to look up at the sullen expression on Celestia before hurrying to catch up with Luna who was fixing the door that she broke just minutes before. “Auntie, what are you doing?”
“I’m fixing the doors.” Luna replies as she finished her repairs.
“Why?” Cadence asked as she walked with Luna out of the room.
“So I can slam them.” Luna snarked before doing just that leaving Celestia behind.
“So many centuries. I worked so hard to make things right, and no matter what I do I still mess them up.” Celestia sobbed to herself. “I try to do the right thing for every pony, so why does it always turn out like this?”
As Luna and Cadence began their journey down the hall a threstral came running up to them breathing heavily. “Your majesty, Lady Scroll has found some more information regarding your family.”
“What is it?” Luna asked feeling hope that maybe something good will finally happen this day.
“She believes that she traced two more of your descendants down. One is a showmare and the other, well, we aren’t sure. For the moment she is missing, but the captain has already dispatched a group to search for her.” The threstral panted out.
“I have more grandfoals?” Luna asked hopefully, a sense of happiness at the news filling her.
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Amazing job! I gonna love to see how this story will develop in future chapters.
Good thing Sunset's there for Twilight or else she would be in the loony bin for her entire life.
Great concept but execution is really hurting.
I know you want Twilight trapped here. But a better way then having the portal close DURING THE DAY have her fainted longer and taken to a clinic or the schools nurses office and have her delayed till it's night and the portal closes.
7159823 I'm not sure who Twilight may get paired with, if anyone, of if something may happen between her and Sunset way later but happy you like the sibling angle since it will be that was most likely. Flash, I'm not too sure if he will make it in this story yet though I did debate having some flirting between him and Twilight which I'm pretty sure won't happen since I changed the route the story is going to take from my original plans. It will pretty much center on Twilight and Sunset as well as maybe making friends with CHS though that is left to be seen.
7160012 Thanks, I'll be working on chapter 3 over the next day or two and the fourth one likely near the beginning of the week.
7160097 Yeah, Sunset saved Twilight from a lot of possible bad things which is good. It's also good that Sunset has been changing otherwise the old her may not have even cared and left Twilight to whatever her fate would have been.
7160186 Well, glad you like the concept. It was night/dark out when Twilight came through the portal though. The students thought she was just catching a nap when they came in the next morning and ignored her since it wouldn't be the first time it happened. Twilight pretty much spent the night under the statue.
7160257 then you should clarify that.
7160276 In chapter 1 it says:
And in chapter 2 it has her waking up with the students going around her into the school. I kind of thought it was pretty clear with that. How would I make it more clear?
7160294 Thanks and it will likely be sisterly, though there is no guarantees that something might pop up later. Still, if it does it will more likely be between SciTwi and Sunset. Don't worry, there won't be any FlashLight in this one.
7160276 You know, I read over my last reply and I admit it loos like I'm coming off as a bitch. Not my intention, I was really asking how to make it more clear not trying to be an ass about it.
7160438 maybe show more that time has progressed. It felt like she fainted and woke up in minutes.
Really like this story. I do like the idea of Twilight and Sunset forming a sisterly like bond.
While I'm a Twi/Sun fan i do like the idea of SciTwi/and Sunset more, but what ever happens.
I can see Twi if she meets human Dash she say she thought she was someone else who looked a bit like her and had a falling out with.
That explain things well enough.
I like this. It's different and new. The sisterly bond is refreshing after reading so many ships. You've got something real interesting here. It's your story and of course you can do whatever you like with it...
That being said may I make a request? Keep the sisterly bond.
It's what makes your story unique on top of your Twilight that gives in to anger. So many stories on this site think that friendship leads to shipping and after the first 100 fics it isn't as magical. Focus on that Drama and Slice of life tag. Twilight is in a very shitty situation. A world so close to her yet so strange to her. Sunset has been there and survived with out help. She doesn't want Twilight to go through that alone.
Moons = months, not nights. Unless Twilight had been on the street for six or seven months?
This needs more establishing paragraphs, or some kind of transition between breaks. I its hard to tell if Twilight is telling a story to Sunset or if in-between their talking segments Twilight is actually going back and doing the things in these breaks. It doesn't need much just something like "well you see I..." or "Oh I had no idea!" from Twilight so the reader has context as to where these breaks happen in relation to one another.
The premise is great, that's what is attracting readers to your story.
However, I believe the execution is missing something critical: you're using post-Rainbow Rocks Sunset here, not pre-Equestria Girls Sunset who she's supposed to be.
7160841 Well when Sunset said the portal opens every two and a half year's Twilight did exclaim her worry of having to wait two year's. . . but that could just be me overthinking things.
Not romance. Son, I am disappoint.
It's amazing how much things can change when one event happens in the wrong season. For now this is going in my favorites, but it may become a special favorite later. We'll see.
Interesting.
Not a terribly whole lot to comment on at this juncture other than I think you're handling the whole "being thrust into a new world" relatively well. However, I will say I think you need to either proof read a bit more or get an editor because I've noticed several errors here and there.
Great chapter, but could use some editing for all the typos.
7160531 Thanks, but how?
7160620 Thanks. And if there is a pairing with Sunset it will most likely be SciTwi as she will likely want to study magic. And that will likely happen as well as Dash having told everyone about how Twilight was acting weird.
7160708 Thanks and I really think it will be staying a sisterly bond, the only romance coming from SciTwi if there is any romance at all which I'm not so sure about. I'm debating how angry too make Twilight really though I know the trust she had in her friends and Celestia is pretty much dead and gone. I'm not sure how that is going to translate to their human counterparts, but I'm sure Sunset will somewhat help her with that. Sunset though, she's had a rough time but for my story she actually had someone there helping her after awhile. It's why she's less angry than her canon counterpart at this point.
7160841
I really have to change that, thanks. I meant nights and have no idea how moons snuck in there. Unless...LUNA!
7160900 Sorry I was trying to show Twilight telling her story to Sunset over a meal. I'll go back and look over it some and see what I might be able to do to clarify it some, thanks.
7161164 1. Actually this is alternate universe Sunset who has had someone there for her so while she still has anger issues, she is a bit more carefree around those few she trusts and love. So far that doesn't include anyone at CHS yet except maybe one person.
2. Yep, I don't exactly have any romance planned. It is possible maybe later, but it most likely won't be Twilight and Sunset unless it is SciTwi, and even then it is up in the air right now. No major plans to do so right now and even with how plans keep swaying back and forth, romance isn't really in the cards right now with Sunset's past in this world.
Thanks, I'll make sure to fix that.
7161176 Thanks, but this is actually an alternate version of Sunset. She still has issues, more than just anger ones, but she has had help getting a lot of those issues mostly under control. She still doesn't really trust anyone at CHS though and has pushed most away and has bullied them up until recently.
7161301 Nope, while anything is possible it just isn't in the cards right now. What? No I didn't burn the lovers card! Really, I didn't.
7161455 Thanks, and I love the idea of the breezy effect. A small flap of their cute little wings can cause chaotic ripples in the space-time stream altering the time line and bucking up so much with so little effort. Hopefully you keep enjoying the story.
7161483 Thanks, I'm trying to show that it isn't easy and Twilight will have to get used to things a little before she can actually do a lot in the new world. I have several scenes in mind showing some of her slipups that I find cute and hopefully everyone else will as well. I'll make sure to give it another pass and I plan to try and get an editor. I have someone I'm talking to and hoping they will do it for me.
7161491 Thanks, I'll make sure to go back over it again.
7161834 maybe have her look around and see that is was still night before she notices the changes and faints
7161845 It does mention that it's night, but I'll try to make it more clear that it is. Thanks.
7161864 I always like to see stories succeed. Any suggestion I make is to in my mind improve the story.
ci.memecdn.com/886/6118886.jpg
Sister route, with feelings. Its the only way.
7161879 Thanks, I do try to take help seriously.
7161975 Thanks, I'm talking to someone trying to get them to do that. I'll try to work on the flow also.
or 
though something about the pic really did make me 
for some reason.
7162012 Don't know if I should
7162055 Thanks, I'm going to go over it and see what I can do to fix it up as well as add the time stamps. It will help having to change too much, yet I might try and make things flow better if I can.
7162170 Sorry, most likely if there is a pairing it will be SciTwi and Sunset, and even that is getting less and less likely.
7161834 I'm disappointed about you using the AU for Sunset's behavior. I'll still follow the story, but I feel it was a good chance to have Twilight befriend her without using the Elements for a first arc. At least you acknowledged the AU there...
7162206 Sorry to be so late to the discussion on the timing confusion on scenes...
Is there a reason to place the scenes in anachronic order? Because for me the easiest way to making them more understandable is placing the scenes in order.
sigh
rolls up sleeves I'm not an editor or a good writer but I'm going to try and help proofread the simple mistakes I found just because I like the premise and want this to do well.
7162291 Sorry that it didn't end out that way, but if you do like that kind of thing, it is something I do plan to do later on in another story after I finish this one. I have four stories I want to write with that being one of them. As to the confusion on scenes, it was supposed to be Twilight telling Sunset her story to Sunset as they grab something to eat with Sunset interrupting her every once in awhile to clarify or ask something. I do have to warn you that Sunset isn't the only ones with an alternate universe background though as there are a few other people that will get the same treatment though it won't be any of the main five humans or the principals.
7162296 Cool, I actually love both types of stories too. I will likely make a lot of mistakes sadly, but I'm more than happy to admit to them and fix any that anyone points out. Hope it goes as well as you hope.
7162315 Thanks bunches, these will go a long way in cleaning everything up.
Now for chapter 2
possible should be possibly
not sure but I think this should be "One of the most likely possibilities was that the portal could be wrong on that one though
ponies should be pony's
wigging should be wiggling
he should be the
7162411
But...what friendship fic is still a ship fic, it's just not the type of ship fic that is common! After all, a friendship is still a relationship, it's just not a romantic one!
7162362 Thanks again, these will help fix it up a lot.
7162411 7162464 Well, there's still no romance though there will be an added dimension to their relationship besides sisters as Sunset will be teaching her to. It is going to take somebody very special to tear down the walls around Sunset's heart due to her past when it comes to romance, and it won't be Twi. It could possibly be SciTwi, but it is getting less and less likely with that.
So, um, before I even read a single word of this story, I just have to say that this is probably one of the most engaging concepts I've ever seen. I've seen descriptions that got me interested, but this is the first description that has got me hooked.
7162535
Special? I know! Rainbow Dash!
7162560 Oh wow, thanks! I was worried it sounded bad as it was the hardest part of writing any of this for some reason. Hope you like the story.
7162565 Maybe in some other story, but to be honest Dash's bravado and attitude would likely turn Sunset off from her ever getting close romantically due to her past in the story, sorry.
7161834
I hope Twilight realizes that the Human Counter Parts and Ones back home are different.
The main five screwed things up, even after everything they been thru. Add the fact after that...oh shoot forgot the name of the episode, but they didn't take Twilight's fears seriously enough and Twilight freaked and used the want it need it spell episode.
They were suppose to listen to her worries with more understanding, yes Twilight could done a better job on how she tried to prove her worries.
But they should given more thought, Twilight knew the real Candance, she been baby sat by her for years.
I'm very disappointed in Princess celestia on handling things they just been invaded, and nearly lost .
Yet the wedding more important and needs to be continued instead of taking a break to sort out things and properly apologize to Twilight....Wow...You're really something Princess Fubar you're sister, then first student and now you're second student.
WAY TO GO!..Ooh maybe next student she can drive to dive off a tower head first.
7162639 She will, I kind of changed a few things I had planned with them to get her to accept them a little easier thanks to Sunset's encouragements with it. Doesn't mean she will trust them at first though, but they will become friends. I agree with you on pretty much every point on Celestia as she pretty much screwed up big time with so much ranging from her own sister to Sunset to the Wedding and beyond. If things did continue as they did, I can see something happening to a new student and I can see them taking a nosedive off a tower.
7161834
You should really change the password on your computer, she changed it again.
DAMMIT THIS IS SO FRICKING ADORABLE!!!
7162639
That would be Lesson zero
7295362
Much improved over the original. A LOT more meaningful meat to these bones.
Basic timetables are established, and divergence points are highlighted.
Not sure how much could be cut as purple prose, as you ARE introducing characters, motivations and plotlines.
As for hidden plots and big twists...
Pick ONE. Maybe two if they are interconnected. At least as you start off.
Too many of those leads to the daytime soap opera style plot twist tropes.
The reader doesn't need to know EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY, but we need to establish there are not going to be blatant loose plot threads hanging about.
Nothing so far screams unnecessary exposition or extreme suspension of disbelief.
Royal lineage may be a mite heavy but they are exemplary individuals.
And Sunset knocked up before entering the legal system curtails several legal adoption issues.
(Now we just need to learn how Peach got involved, which would probably be a story Peach tells a confuddled Twilight...)
TL;DR- A excellent start to an exciting premise. I look forward to being surprised by where it leads.
7295470 Thanks, I was really worried it was a little too dry sounding, happy that you don't think so. I wasn't too sure if it was good mentioning Twilight and Sunset's familiar bonds yet, though I'm actually pretty happy with the scene. Not that Sunset and Twilight know yet. Hopefully the rest of the 3 chapters will turn out as well as this one when I finish editing and not be too dry. And yep, that's why I made them royalty as well as the other two mentioned. Well, one is a matter for debate as some may not see her as powerful, but I kind of do.
Yeah, when Twilight gets to know Granny Peach she will be told about how Sunset and her actually met as Twilight learns more about humans. Hope the story behind it is okay sounding. I am going to try and avoid soap opera twists though there is one or two things that may seem like them as well as a possible third that I am debating adding into the story. The third isn't really necessary so I may not use it, just something I was thinking about adding in order to give Sunset her demon form in this world. It is something I am really not too sure if I will be using or not as it might make for a better solo story on it's own away from this one.
Thanks, glad you enjoy it so far and hopefully any surprises will be good ones.
TWILIGHT IS LUNA'S SO MANY GREAT WHAAAAA?!
.....thud!
Wakes up, WOW that a good plot twist and Celestia is Sunset child...that not surprised but a good twist and once again Celestia FUBAR major big time.
Also Trixie is one of Luna' as well! The last one....I'm guessing it....######### if I'm right...sorry don't want to spoil it if I guessed right.
Also nice bit on Sunset back story and what happened is really dark hope the evil son of a...rots in prison and gets used by the other prisoners all the time.
Well, you let Sunset is Celestia's daughter, so.. , what about human Celestia and human Sunset?
7297079
Hmmm good point but then again things could be different. There was oen fic where it was addressed, Celestia the human one almost had her but a car accident...ended that.
Plus while the two worlds are copies of each other things don't happen the same way in each world, Celestia the human one may of never meet the one who would been Sunset's father thus she may not exist.
7296422 Yep, all of the current most powerful unicorns is related to royalty in some way in most of my head canons. In fact, most of my head canons pretty much include any pony that can become an alicorn must be descended from one. (Nope, Cadence is not Luna or Celestia's descendant though.) Glad you like the plot twist, and he won't ever get out of jail. As far as Moonie knows, her father was a brave man who died protecting others. A little white lie to protect her.
7297079 There is a human Sunset, though she won't really be too important to this story other than a misunderstanding concerning the humans Celestia and Luna with pony Sunset. Human Sunset will possibly be in a later arc or sequel though.
7297139 I actually thought of doing something like that, but want human Sunset around for a possible sequel or arc later on as I have several possible plans for her. I could have wrote her out though, but having her in existence helps the story and gives me a possible future vilian or ally depending.
Honestly, whenever a story uses a rape plotline that's normally the point I drop the story, but considering how it was used and I'm liking the story I think I will stick with it.
Darn! How could I have missed this chapter? I had it on my tracking list after all! Aw well. Anyway, good chapter! I'm off to read the next one!
I get the feeling like there are too many relatives now. Sunset, Shining, Twilight, Trixie, and Starlight; I don't know why it is being done but it is too much stuff being thrown into the melting pot at the moment.
Doesn't help that I have a massive bias against Trixie.