• Published 22nd Apr 2016
  • 3,515 Views, 38 Comments

So Unfair! - overlord-flinx



Eye on the prize, eye on the prize... Why are they so perfect?! It can't be fair!

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So Unfair!

Adagio Dazzle

A siren is what they called me. The most beautiful and seductive creature on land and sea. Even after being stripped of my curvaceous equine body (a body myths are made of) by that lousy unicorn with the knotted beard, I was still remade in this "human world" as something beautiful. It just goes to show you that while beauty is only skin deep, some people always look good in whatever skin they're stuck with. Still... I do sometimes miss my scales.

But there is something I miss more than my scales... No, it's not the adulation from swooning thralls under my hoof or foot. It's the power that let me do that. The power of my Siren song. The ability to sing! It was wrongly taken from me -us- by those... Those...! Talent deprived... I cannot compose my thoughts when I'm so angry. But that's what happens when I think of them. I told them we had much more in store for them; we had all we wanted and more. And in that moment, we were about to break on through to them.

But apparently, they ignored me when I said it was time we finished them. Some people just refuse to take stage cues... It's absolutely a lack of professionalism. They turned the spell around on us, summoned some sort of unicorn-pegasi embodiment of love or something, and blew every last bit of magic within my sisters and me into nothingness... As well as shattering our gems. Those gems were embedded into our skin as Sirens! If we ever return to Equestria, we will look deformed!

Animals... Ever since that day of humiliation, the three of us have been wandering the world. Searching for a new way of life to call our own... Unfortunately, Sonata has a fear of public transit, so "wandering the world" was limited to the towns nearby Canterlot High. I would say it isn't that bad... But being stuck in this unbearable world without magic, singing talent, or a way to turn into our true selves is by definition "that bad". Every waking day I personally grow more and more stressed. If it isn't the humiliation bothering me, it's Sonata's stomach grumbling. If it's not Sonata's unending hunger, it's Aria's complaining. If it's not Aria's nitpicking, then I'm probably out cold because there is no way I'm awake and not being bothered by one of the three.

All I want is to relax, let some stress fly off my finger tips, and just cool off. Thankfully, after a particularly fruitful dive into a dumpster behind a grease hole, we found a notice about something they call a "gym". Anyone is allowed admittance, and they have free food and drinks on weekends. But, more importantly, they offer free access to all of their exercise equipment. Now, I admit I have never touched anything like a "dumbbell" or a "elliptical" or what have you. I was born with the a body only spoken of in myth, if I must remind you. So, it would be very hard to improve upon perfection. Even though I'm in this flimsy, skinny body, I'm still the pinnacle of perfection incarnate.

But... I have heard of this thing humans do called "boxing". It involves slamming your fist into someone or something over and over again until you win. I admit I may be missing some details there, but I'm sure I've captured the gist of it. Hitting. And if hitting is anything like blasting something, it should be very therapeutic. And while Aria just wanted to whine and lay in the pool all day, Sonata was gracious enough to assist me in my therapy. All that's left now is to change out of these clothes (which I have to have Aria clean sometime), and get down to business.


Sonata Dusk

We used to be called Sirens. We were like the most awesome creatures in Equestria with the best singing voices. Even after we were banished here by that old wrinkly unicorn, we still could sing really good. Like, the best singing you have ever heard. And I mean, thank goodness, right? I mean, if we couldn't sing, how would we get people to do what we wanted? I mean, we could've asked or whatever, people kinda do what I want when I ask them anyway. But Adagio really doesn't like it when I just walk up and ask people to do stuff for me. She gets really, really, really mad. You can tell when she's mad because she'll draw a cut over her neck; depending on how many fingers she makes the cut motion with is how mad she is.

One finger is "stop". Two fingers are "shut up". Three fingers mean "I'm going to slap you". Four fingers mean "I'm going to have Aria slap you". And if she uses her whole hand, it means I'm sleeping outside tonight. I get a lot of whole hands. But Adagio never makes me sleep outside... But I think that has to do with us living outside. Nah! Adagio would never be mean to me like that. She's really sweet when you get to know her. And when you -like- get around her short temper and how much she yells. But, you know, she's the boss. She's gotta be boss like. Bossy. Hah!

Uhh... I was talking about something before that... Oh! Yeah! How we used to sing to make people do stuff for us. Yeah... We can't really -you know- do that anymore. Some jerks broke our gems and now we can't sing. Like... At all. We sound like sheep being tossed over a cliff. A whole lot of scratchy wails. At least that's what Aria said I sound like. But, she said I sounded like that before the gems broke too... She's kinda the worst. Not as bad as those Rainbooms with their great music and -like- natural singing talent and... Warm clothes. They are totally the worst without question... But they do have great clothes. UGH! I want something new to wear! I've been wearing the same clothes for days!

Oh! But Adagio solved everything for us. As she always does. Always the thinker. Now we're gonna squat at this gym place. They have free everything here. Even blankets! But they're kinda small... And a little scratchy... And some of them are really wet... But it sure beats sleeping with cardboard! And, really? It's about time we did find somewhere to relax... I don't know if you know, but Adagio is kinda... Grumpy. She really needs to unwind. Like, a mandatory chill session. Which I can actually do something about! She wants to try this "boxing", so all I need to do is stand in front of her, put these two little pillow things up, and let her punch them. Then she just does that over and over and over and over and over until she's all calmed out.

Just gotta slip out of these old clothes and get into something else... Maybe I can ask someone for something else!


Adagio --- Sonata

Honestly it feels so relieving I never knew how big a change

To get into something a little more Stripping off all that into something more

Formfitting could be.

It's a relief

On my chest off my chest

To tighten it up around there. To loosen it up around there.


Sonata was already waiting outside the locker room for Adagio. The rules for being on the workout floor stated that anyone with long hair would have to put there hair up into a bun or a ponytail; which Sonata was already one step ahead on seeing as she always had to hair up into a rather long ponytail. Adagio on the other hand had a bit more trouble going along with the rule as her wild mane was a lot harder to tame into an acceptable ponytail. Thankfully, one of the other girls in the locker room offered Adagio several hair scrunchies she used to section down her poofy orange hair into something halfway reasonable for a workout session.

Adagio had no trouble changing into her 'workout attire' by simply stripping down to a pink sports bra and a pair of black jersey shorts the gym provided for her. In a way, the relief of this exercise was already taking effect. Normally Adagio would be wearing her puffy shirt that she fixed to have some 'stuffing' around her chest. While she was 'born with a body befitting a myth', her natural chest in the human world wasn't 'myth worthy'. But here at the gym? It didn't matter at all. A-cup angst was in the furthest parts of the back of her mind.

The fiery haired Dazzling proudly walked out of the locker room and picked up a pair of mitts she had read would be necessary for boxing practice. Adagio slid one hand into the glove, flexing her fingers as she relished in the tough fabric against her skin. Already she could feel this would be just what she needed.

"Adagio! Over here! I'm all ready to go!" Sonata called to her sister with her usual bubbly voice.

When Adagio went to face her sister, she was met face to two mountains. Two missiles aimed right to her face. Twin torpedoes set to fire. And all at once, it all came flooding back to Adagio why she stuffed her shirt. And why she wore high heels... Sonata blinked absently at her older sister, having to turn her gaze slightly lower to look Adagio in her twitching eyes. "Uhhh... Adagio? Hello? Hellooooo?"

There they were pushed right into her face. In Equestria, Adagio was the strongest and greatest singer of her sisters; of the Sirens. None could hold a candle to her in skills or beauty. But the human world was different... In the human world, someone got a little bigger than Adagio. In height and endowment. Adagio could live with Sonata -her younger sister- being a few inches taller than her. But there was something Adagio could never excuse. Sonata continued to stand there in front of her sister unaware of the flurry of emotions renewed in Adagio, though she continued to hold up the pads Adagio was meant to punch in anticipation.

"Ummm... Adagio? We could -like- do something else if you're -you know?- not into this now," Sonata was so sweet, so kind, so unassuming and unaware.

A beast awakened within Adagio Dazzle and she couldn't control it. Without a word or a sound, Adagio wound a fist behind her, building up strength in her arm before sending it at Sonata. Immediately, Sonata prepared her hands, ready for Adagio to lay a powerful blow into one of the pads. However, the feeling of a blow didn't come to either of the pads she held up, but rather the side of her large chest. Adagio's fist squarely planted into the side of Sonata's right boob, making a jiggle elect from the breast. Adagio kept her fist there balled up into the warm embrace of her young sister's breast while Sonata's eyes went wide and she just looked at her sister bewildered.

"Adagio...? Did you just---?" Before Sonata could question the breast bump her sister inflicted upon her, Adagio wound up her other fist and brought it into the other side of Sonata's chest.

Sonata could only look down at Adagio in utter surprise as the fiery haired Dazzling began to pummel Sonata's chest again and again; one punch right after the other. Each swat sent a surge of dull pain through Sonata, but also a strange stimulation that brought a crimson hue to her cheeks. Quietly, Sonata bit down on her bottom lip and searched around the room to see if anyone was watching as Adagio was battering her boobs.

Adagio continued to unleash a torrent of fists against the pillowy mound of Sonata's chest, grunting and snarling as she did so. It wasn't the stress relief she wanted, and in fact she was getting more furious with each punch she delivered being bounced off in some way, but this somehow was helping Adagio. "This is so unfair!" Adagio snapped, disregarding her usual mannerism. "I'm the oldest!" Adagio slammed her fist into the face of Sonata's boob, making Sonata squeak and flinch slightly. Even though Adagio was really letting Sonata have it, none of her punches seemed to be going at full force; a slight restraint being applied with every swing. "Why...! Are...! They...! So...! Perfect!" Between gritted teeth, Adagio started to grow more and more labored with her swats.

Gradually, the oldest Dazzling began to slide down Sonata's body, still making in vain swats up at Sonata's perfect bust until she was curled up on the floor at her sister's feet. Sonata just continued to stand there, her face a deep pink and her chest heaving after the 'beating' she suffered. Still, she managed to look down at Adagio curled up at her feet, smiling at her in spite of how embarrassed she felt. "So, uh... You feel better, Adagio?"

"A bit..." Adagio sighed in defeat, but she couldn't help but start to smile at the new found relief in her own chest, "Think we can do this again tomorrow?"

"Maybe we should -like- ask Aria to do this instead..."

Comments ( 38 )

While I knew where it was going from the cover art, it still came out completely hilarious.

Loved the end of the second paragraph and the first part of the third :rainbowlaugh: That, and the dialogue mixing

While this does focus on Adagio and Sonata, one could wonder if Aria were included into this crazy one-shot :pinkiecrazy:

No doubt she'd have her fair bit of jabs towards an already-crushed Adagio about her chest size. Hell, for good measure, have Aria's chest size either be a step below Sonata's or just be entirely flat so Dagi can have a Pyrrhic victory in the form of a counter jab.

Wouldn't getting punched in the boobs hurt?

7150290 Not if the person isn't punching hard or just "swatting" you. It's a small bit, but I alluded to Adagio just sort of "thwapping" Sonata.

7150292

Hmmm.... still sounds like that would hurt. I suggest we go out and conduct some experiments.

When their bodies start growing and those breasts start sagging, I don't think she'll be as angry anymore. Of course, if she wasn't really hitting her (just batting them around), I'm not sure she was really angry about the bust sizes to begin with. The material in the first few paragraphs feels like a hint.

This is one of those comedy one-shots that gets more tragic the longer you think about it, isn't it?

Inb4 Ponut Joe draws an image and someone always makes a fanfic about it

7150476 Aren't you here after the fact though?


7150319 For science.


7150393 The truest sadness is the one you can't ever read.

7150290 YES! It's happened to me before and I can confirm it smarts like a sonofawhore! :rainbowlaugh:

That must've been some great 'stress relief' for Adagio.:ajsmug::raritywink:

7150498

Right! So here is the plan. We'll go to a gym. You punch a lady's breast while I stand back and take notes.

7150510

Oh... I guess we don't have to find a test subject after all. Nevermind then.

This was... something alright. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but... yeah, something.

More?

7150588 If we crack 50 likes over the weekend, why not?

I'm guessing Aria is flat.

Arias face on the cover looks like a turtle.

Nice power training Adagio, now it's time to speedbag! :pinkiecrazy:

ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! ORA~!

7150811 Looks like you cracked 50 :derpytongue2:

7155368 would seem I did indeed.

7150290
Sonata's boobs are too perfect to feel pain (except in a good way).

I can only imagine what would happen if Adagio didn't have the biggest butt. :trollestia:

WOO!! I'm the hundredth upvote!
Wheeeeeeeee-*Kicks floor sitting in spinny wheel chair* OW! *Falls out of chair*

Where did you find this picture?

8291303
I'm sorry, is there no source?

8291758
I'm sorry. I'll get a link on that sometime soon. I found it on that derp-something site. I'm embarrassed I can't recall the name right now. I'm on mobile right now.

8862257
The source link was added to the picture. Unless it’s broken.

8862362
When I tap in it, it says the source is cdn.fimfiction[...]

8862369
No-no. If you scroll over the image, in the bottom right corner, a little thumbnail pops up that says "source". If you click it, it'll take you to the derp-image source.

8863595
Does that work on mobile? Because that's where I'm viewing this right now.

8863683
It’s a little different. I’m on mobile as well, and if you thumb over it, you can still see the source tab pop up on the bottom.

8863818
Oh, I thought you meant thumb over it in the modal.
I see it now, but it's in a precarious place. If I think over to short it clicks, too long and the context menu appears.

I wonder why it's not just a regular link in the modal like the cdn link.

Anywho, thanks for putting up with this train of... questioning?

I am reminded of the FFVII machinabridged.

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