• Member Since 21st Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Dec 5th, 2019

Cumulus


Cumulus is a comedian in the works, who loves serious stories, including Mysteries, Adventures, Science Fiction, and Romcoms!

E

Sweetie Belle gets lost and must find a way back. Thankfully good ol' Gilda has found her, and being the super friendly gryphon she is, helps Sweetie find her way home.

Chapters (4)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 14 )

Dude, This was amazing! Would you mind if I did a reading of this on youtube?

The pacing is a bit off.

Luna's scene seemed a tad rushed.

The build up was kind of cut short, again the pacing being off.

Other than that, the story is interesting.

I'll stalk you for a bit, I'll leave a thumbs up...why not.:unsuresweetie:

7148977 Honestly? I'd be honored if you did. That's really awesome that you enjoyed it. :) Go for it! I want to hear that, so you should like, send a link when you do it. :twilightsheepish:

7148984 I'll do what I can to work on the pacing. That really is one of my more difficult areas when writing. Thank you for the constructive criticism! I appreciate it! :raritywink:

Odd intergenerational friendships between characters we've never seen together in canon but would still have an interesting dynamic? You're truly a writer after my own heart. Adding this to my RiL.

The fourth wall breaks seem out of place. Just tell the story.

7211324 They are out of place. This chapter is why I can not watch Animaniacs, then write something. X)

Comment posted by Cumulus deleted Oct 5th, 2016

Very funny and interesting so far - are you continuing it?

Final chapter posted. Time to reread this.

9334348
I am sorry for the rushed ending.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!