4 The Looming Noose
I got home one day and parked my truck in the barn. With Aurora's help, I had replaced the tin roof and reinforced the whole structure with new pillars. It was beginning to look like an established structure. My pickup was in much better shape as well. The vital parts inside had mostly been replaced, and the vehicle was far more reliable than it had been. It would start up on the first try, and it wouldn't stop running in the middle of the road. As I got out of the truck, I looked up again at the silhouette of the loop of rope. Every time I was happily inside here and looked up at it, the form and placement served as a grim reminder of who I was. It scared me, and I always looked at it like it would jump down and take me if I didn't eventually do it myself.
I shook my head to get rid of the feeling. Of course it wouldn't kill me, it was just a rope. An inanimate object wasn't going to sweep its way down and wrap itself around my neck, that would be ridiculous. Anyway, the next day would be my best internet friend's 18th birthday. She was trans male to female just like me. I had kept living with my parents until the age of twenty just to spend the next day at the Canterlot mall with her, and I wouldn't fail her on that. I walked into my room and logged into MgP for a while. The friend I was talking about had messaged me if we were still going to go to the mall the next day. I responded with a definitely and told her to meet me at the park.
When I logged out, I looked behind my bed for my bag, shocked to find it no longer there. I panicked and looked around my room frantically. The bag was nowhere to be seen. I began to cry softly before I heard a hard knocking at my door followed by my father roughly telling me that diner was ready. I stood up and wiped my tears, clearing my face of all negative emotion. I had to hide that I was upset, or else I would never get my gift from Aurora back. I took a deep breath and sighed softly before exiting my room.
When I walked in, my parents were glaring at me, the bag in full view as my mother spoke up, "What's the meaning of this!?"
"What were you doing with these?!" Asked my father, pointedly.
I looked at them, my mouth agape.
Dad glared, "Are you going to answer us?"
"It's a gift..." I claimed.
Mom asked, "For whom?"
"Aurora. It's a gift for Aurora... d-do you think she'll like it?" I responded.
My dad looked at mom, "Told you. He's not... one of those..."
"I'm sorry, Aria." Mom told me.
I sighed, "It's alright. I know what it looked like."
"You forgot the tissue paper." Dad said.
I nodded at him, "I knew I was forgetting something. I'll get it tomorrow."
He smiled at me as I sat down to eat diner with them, likely for the last time. Another quiche, and it was just as good as always. I looked at my parents as I ate. Even though they hated trans ponies, I couldn't help but love them, but there was something about your loved ones hating what you are that created an extremely somber feeling, and I couldn't shake it. I quietly finished my food, grabbed my bag, and walked into my room. I ended up not putting the dress, shoes, and hair clips on that night, but at least my parents didn't find out about me being who I was. It surely would've been disastrous. That, and I would lose the ability to express femininity when alone.
I heard my parents arguing about why my mother thought what they didn't realize was the truth about me. I didn't know how well I had hidden it. I had a dream that made me prefer listening to my parents arguing. I saw the silhouette of the rope in front of a sickly green light. It seemed to whisper to me. I saw my view get closer and closer until I felt the ring touch my fur as everything went black. I woke up in a cold sweat, trembling as I looked around my room, regaining my sense of what was around me. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was beeping with the timestamp 6:00 AM. I flicked the switch and shot up before stretching. I still felt tired after the hectic experience. No dream should ever feel like that.
I grabbed my bag before exiting the room, making my way to the barn which was standing as usual. I stopped in my circle of warm sunlight. Celestia was up early today, as this area was fully bathed in the golden glow of the daily occurring magic star. I stopped and looked up at the sky which had few clouds in it. They all looked to have been painted there. I quietly thanked Celestia and the pegasi for the beautiful day as I finished my caffeinated soda.
When I got inside the barn, I threw my can in the recycling bin and set the bag down on the hood of the truck. I reached into it and saw the loop again, almost hearing the whispers from my nightmare. I grabbed a knife from a shelf and proceeded to climb up and cut the rope from a higher section. I didn't want to feel the dread I always do when looking at it. Once I had cut completely through it, i jumped down with the loop and grabbed a bucket, throwing the rope in. I took it out in front of the barn and retrieved my gas can. I proceeded to dowse the rope in gasoline before putting the can back in the barn and coming back with a box of matches. I struck a match against the rough strip on the box to light it. I then dropped it in the bucket, watching the gasoline soaked rope immediately catch fire.
I had done it, I defeated my dread. The loop was no more and I could finally move on. I asked myself why I hadn't done that before now as I watched the flames die down to a pile of ashes. I took the bucket back inside as I reached into the bag for my make-up kit. I had no worries of being discovered by my parents, as since I got my truck working, they wouldn't be up for another two and a half hours. I had previously loaded up everything I needed. My parents could keep the rest for all I cared. I had bought a better computer which was placed in its case behind the seat. I got into the truck and flipped down the visor to do my make-up like aurora had showed me. I then proceeded to brush my mane and tail. When that was done, I slipped on my dress, being careful of the white lace sections and put in my hair clips and slipped on my shoes.
I felt pretty as I folded the paper boutique bag flat and placed it behind the seat. I started my truck and began to drive to the park. I had gotten the sheet metal straightened out on the truck as well as had it painted with a glossy red. In its own right, it was pretty too. It was at least presentable to be driving around in. Before long, I arrived at the park, not yet seeing my friend, but I was sure she would find me when she arrived. I watched birds fly around, seeing a cardinal land on a branch after I got out. I was no longer jealous of the birds, as I was pretty, too. This was they day I would finally fully express my femininity in public. Before, I didn't look particularly like an attractive mare, just close enough to fool inexperienced eyes.
I walked around, seeing foals play on the playground. I saw a group of fillies with their make-up kits, applying their cosmetics to a colt who appeared to be happy with it. I smiled at the sight, remembering when I was a foal and it was still acceptable for me to be cute and pretty. I decided that before I drove off to meet my coltfriend, I would come out to my parents, whether they accepted me or not. If they didn't, they were never parents to begin with.
I saw a mare walk up to me. She had dark green fur and dark blue hair. She was my friend, the one I was to meet here. I remembered she was like me, as I had forgotten for a moment. We both proceeded to my truck and I took a detour to Aurora's house. My friend looked at me confused.
"This isn't the mall..." She said softly.
I smiled at her, "I know. We'll be picking one of my friends up. She's the one I've been telling you about."
"I didn't realize you'd let me meet her." She smiled at me.
I giggled as we got out, "Well of course I'd let you meet her. I told her about today and she was so excited!"
We walked up and knocked on the door. A tall middle aged stallion opened it. We looked up at him, slightly startled. He obviously hadn't had his coffee yet. He rubbed his eye as he backed up slowly and gave way to Aurora excitedly pulling us in. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was still wet from a shower.
"Oh, I have a great outfit for you!" She gasped at my friend.
We followed her into her room and shoved us into the bathroom with a similar outfit to mine, only with colors that matched my friend. I helped her put on the dress and shoes and gently placed the necklace around her neck. I put the clips in her already brushed hair and began to do her make-up. When I was finished, I let her look in the mirror to see herself. She smiled and hugged me closely. I embraced back, smiling.
Aurora walked in, her outfit on, "Oh my Celestia, you two look so cute together!"
She joined in and levitated her phone above us, taking a selfie with us. Soon, we walked out and got in Aurora's car, since my truck was only a two-seater. We decided to let my friend drive and Aurora took shotgun, putting on some music. I had heard this song in listening to her and knew the lyrics nearly by heart. Evidently, my friend did too, as she and Aurora sang along happily. I smiled at the two for a while until the chorus came around and I decided to join in.
"Turn up the car radio. We can be karaoke superstars. Doesn't mater what they think, when we're drivin' in my car!" We all sang together.
We giggled and enjoyed each other on the way to the mall. I felt like I belonged with them, unlike for my whole life when I always felt out of place. Here, I was just one of the mares. Any other time, I had been that weird stallion in the bunch of mares, or that mare that has stallion parts among other stallions. Here was where I always wanted to be, with friends that understood me. I wished this day would last forever.
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Transgender..... My OC Farbella knows this well. His name means butterfly in Italian. Have a like... Is story is good.
"Karaoke Superstars" by Superchick?
Loving the story so far :)
7150204 Yeah, and so do I... :P
7151205 *hugs*
Awww.
This story is touching. I love it. It hits close to home and speaks to my soul (as i am male to female transgender myself). Thank you.
7158964 why thank you, I'll try to post another chapter tonight
7162030 Weeks ago, I thought it was kinda rare to be male to female transgender... and now I'm glad to not be alone
7162299 If you ever need to talk, my inbox is open, and if you wanted we could text. You aren't alone.
Really good chapter! Liking the tense bits like the bag getting lost and then we realize it's actually being held by the parents. I wasn't sure what Aria would do to get out of that, but I'm glad it worked out. You do a good job of showing a character trapped in a tough position where she has to do what she can to survive, even resorting to lying just to keep herself from being hurt by her own parents. That's a reality that many kids (and some adults) have to go through when dealing with people they love and worrying about a response.
I'd love to see more of that conflict which has Aria fighting between the conflicting feelings of depression, happiness and anger when dealing with her parents. That kind of conflict is all-too familiar with people who go through this.
I like to see Aria happy with her friends. It's nice to see things work out every once in a while and it's comforting to the reader.
Good story! Imma keep reading it :)