- Member Since 25th Jul, 2015
- offline last seen May 8th, 2021
Wildstar
Just your average writer, wanting to make stories just like you! Yes, affiliated with StarForce Media on YouTube and Facebook!
Wildstar
Joined 25th Jul, 2015 ·
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Well, you're off to a good start, I'll be interested to see where you go from here.
7165615 Appreciated! And to be honest! Even I am not sure where this story will go! I simply had an urge to write a Fallout Equestria story! So I'm going to run with it and hope everyone enjoys the story as the adventure unfolds!
7165673 I know how that is, that's basically why I decided to write my Fallout: Equestria fanfics.
7165683 When it comes down to it, Fallout Equestria is probably the best playground to write in. So much potential for things to happen!
7166424 Yeah, I love it!
Okay, so one thing I picked up from your first chapter was that you have a bit of an issue with commas and apostrophes at times. Also, words such as "ummmm" really don't need to be lengthened. A simple "um" is sufficient and stops the writing feeling ammateurish.
The fact that raiders broke in almost immediately seems... Odd. If stables such as Stable Two could survive unopened for so long, surely the doors would have been stronger?
Anyway, this is a nice introduction, if a little sudden, and has a lot of potential. Kudos to you there. This chapter isn't as iffy as the last one in formatting, though, so well done! One thing I will say is, watch out when you write speech. You seem to be hopping between using capitals and lowercase for the person doing the speaking, but I'll watch out for that anyway. I'm looking forwards to reading more.
7175966 I'll definitely need to have Shimmer revisit the Vault at sometime then yeah?
7176024
Be careful not to make it too similar to FoE, don't want to be accused of copying! But if you could think of a good reason that's not to save everypony—though by the sounds of it, they're already dead anyway. Perhaps a repopulation of the stable? Shimmer could find some foals when it's already completely cleared out and maybe show then it? They could run the stable themselves? Just an idea.
7176034 It's a thought to consider, though I have something else in mind that I'm considering but hey, I'll definitely think on it!
7176091
Great! It's your fic, I'm sure you'll make a fitting decision.
7376151 Openly will admit Fallout 4 is a major inspiration for this tale! And to keep up with current events I figured to include some of that! Hope you're enjoying thus far!
My sister is making me read this but it's not too bad so far so I'll stick around.
At what point in the Fallout: Equestria timeline does this story take place?
7920285 This story takes place roughly 2 years after Littlepip's adventure. So no Pip cameo planned sadly!
Hey hey! Look who's back in business!
7958768 Yeppers! Been doing what I can when I can and I got a few new Chapters out!
Yep, finally finished my review of the prologue and first two chapters:
Review.