Chapter XXIII
Chapter XXIII
Haephestus groggily opened his eyes, then immediately closed them, instantly regretting his decision. His eyes had not revealed the inside of his pod, but rather a white panel ceiling. Alarm bells were going off in his head, and he was having trouble remembering how he got here. I’m… I'm not even a collector! I'm a caretaker! How did they catch me?
He opened his eyes again, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He didn't have much experience outside the hive, but he had read plenty of the books that the collectors would bring home with them after their missions. From the descriptions in those books, he quickly guessed that he was in some kind of hospital.
I have to get out… he thought as he pushed the warm blanket off of him. He froze at the sight that that action revealed. He wasn’t currently restrained, but that hardly mattered as he gazed down at the bandaged, pitiful stumps of his once strong hind legs.
“What… what happened to me?” he asked, his voice raspy and pitiful. “I… wasn't I in the nursery? Protecting… protecting…”
Haephestus trailed off as the memory of what happened came crashing down on him. His breathing became rapid and shallow, his eyes darting around the room. He could remember Chrysalis’s changelings entering the room, them killing his fellow caretakers, but… after that, nothing. Haephestus tried to push himself into a sitting position, but found his fore-hooves quite unfit for the task.
After a few attempts at this, he let himself fall back onto the pillows, completely exhausted. The comfort of the bed only served to heighten his worry, however. “Why did the equestrians capture me?” he asked out loud. “We’re… we’re enemies to them. They should have killed me… and what happened to Chrysalis’s warriors?”
As he sat there, trying to make sense of this senseless situation, he slowly became aware of love being directed at him. He had only absorbed love from the hive’s stores, before, making this sensation quite strange, though not uncomfortable. As nice as it felt, though, he knew that something was very, very wrong about this. The love was far stronger than anything he had ever tasted, for starters. Honestly, it felt like a blast furnace was right next to him.
The quality of love was different than what he was used to, too. Haephestus usually preferred the love between family members, but this… this was more like the love between friends, but a lot stronger. If all the love between friends that his hive collected was this strong, he’d have had a lot more of it whenever he went to feed.
As comforting as the feeling was, it only served to make him more nervous. The changeling slowly turned his head towards the source of the love, silently dreading what he might see.
Next to the bed was an incredibly pink mare. Her mane was a deep magenta, and her eyes were the purest blue he had ever seen. They seemed to sparkle with some sort of inner mischief, and on her muzzle was plastered the largest grin he had ever seen.
Before he could say anything, before he could even think to ask the manic-looking pony a question, she opened her mouth and pulled a large three-tier cake from nowhere. “Hi new friend! My name is Pinkie Pie! What’s yours?”
Upon retrospect, screaming was probably the wrong way to handle the situation. But given the circumstances, Haephestus felt justified in his actions.
* * *
“With no more news since the president’s shocking announcement, we’re all left to wonder-” kshh.
“President Xi Jinping has demanded that the United States turn over all information and technology recovered from the recent attack over to the United Nations, and-” kshh.
“What I want to know is how many of the disappearances in recent years were alien abductions? How many in the last decade? How long have they known we were even here? For all we know-” kshh.
“Next up on CNN, should aliens from outer space be allowed to vote on-” kshh.
Doctor Valerie Jordan turned off the television, quite bored of listening to the media explode over President Darris’s announcement of hostile extraterrestrial life. It’s not that she couldn’t understand their feelings. They were scared… she was scared… but it had been all she had listened to for the past three days since going into witness protection.
That’s not to say that she had nothing to do. She had been provided with reading material, a television, a computer, and plenty to eat. She had not been provided with an internet connection, though; nor had she been given back her phone. She completely understood why, though; she knew too much.
Not about the ‘Krin’ aliens; much of what she knew about them had been in the president’s speech. No, it was the other meeting with extraterrestrial life that was being kept secret. For national (and global) security, she had basically been put under arrest until such a time that the president felt that what she knew could be revealed to the rest of the public. She had been told that it was only temporary, probably in some attempt at mollifying her, but they needn’t have bothered. In fact, she had agreed to it, in hopes that she might be able to help in some, small way.
All she had to show for that hope, though, was boredom on the public dime. Not that she was surprised, though. She may have been a doctor, but her doctorate was in forensic science. Not even remotely helpful in the field of alien biology or technology.
With a sigh, she got up out of her chair and made her way over to the fridge. Her guard, a large man by the name of Roger, looked up briefly from the book he had been reading, then let out a sigh himself. “Don’t worry, Doctor. I’m sure they’ll find something for you to do. At the very least, I’m sure they’ll let you go home soon.”
Valerie let out a short laugh as she pulled a sprite from the fridge. “And what? Go back to sifting through DNA evidence, trying to catch the bad guy, all while we could be flattened by an alien armada at any second?” Valerie asked, taking a sip of the soda. “No… everything I’ve worked for… everything Jill’s worked for just seems so… so pointless.”
Roger closed his book and set it down, rubbing his eyes as if exhausted. “I… I know what you mean. All our failures, all our accomplishments, all our petty squabbles… they seem pretty insignificant compared to what’s out there.” He took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “I… I have a kid brother out there… Smart guy, wants to be a pilot. Will he even live to see his fifteenth birthday? I… I don’t really want to think about that, to be honest…”
Valerie gave him a sympathetic look. “Yeah, I-” she started to say, but stopped when the door to her room opened, causing both her and her guard to look up in surprise.
Standing at the door was one of the many soldiers that worked at the base. She knew the man, but only knew the name that was written on the front of his uniform: Sanders. “Doctor Jordan?” he asked, his brown eyes quickly finding Valerie’s grey ones.
“Yes?” she asked, before quickly finishing her soda.
“I’m going to need you to come with me. Colonel Conners said he would like a word with you.”
Valerie quickly exchanged a worried look with Roger. “Did he say why?”
“I wasn’t told the specifics, ma’am, just that I needed to bring you to see the colonel as fast as I could manage,” the soldier said stiffly.
Valerie gave out a little sigh, then crumpled and tossed her can into the garbage. “Well, it beats staying here. See you later, Roger.”
The guard gave her a short wave before standing up himself. If his charge was leaving, there wasn’t much need for him to guard an empty room. “Don’t let the colonel give you a hard time; he can be a real joker at times.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Valerie said, giving the guard one last smile before closing the door behind her.
* * *
Colonel Conners grumbled a little as he looked through the reports on his desk. There was a lot of new information he had to keep abreast of, especially since their new ally was incredibly forthcoming with… well, everything.
The only problem was understanding any of it.
For example; the metal used in the construction of the alien base was steel. Not steel mixed with some unknown alien material, not steel that had been treated in some unknowable fashion. Just plain, boring, high-carbon steel. However, through some kind of scientific mumbo jumbo, the aliens were able to strengthen the molecular bonds of the steel to the point where the human’s best cutting tools could only barely scratch the surface.
That’s not to say that the material became indestructible. Apparently the process was more akin to a shield, one that could be turned on and off, and that drained an immense amount of power from the station’s power core when active. Moreso when it took any sort of damage.
How did this work? Well, according to Yavaar, the instructions for this was written into the wall, then the wall was charged with the ‘essence of spirits.’
Colonel Conners’ eyes focused on this phrase again, remembering the 'more accurate' word that Yavaar had used right after, and how much the conversation had made his head hurt. Apparently this essence of spirits was a form of energy that just didn’t exist on Earth. It couldn’t be generated here, either, and was apparently the keystone of all of their technology. It’s function was a part of some fifth force in the universe, a statement that, in and of itself, was going to turn the entire scientific community on its head.
There was a loud knock on the door, breaking Conners from his thoughts. “Come in!” he shouted, putting down the papers.
The door opened, revealing Doctor Jordan and the corporal that Conners had sent to fetch her. “You wanted to see me, Colonel?”
“Ah, yes, right on time, come on in,” Conners said, dismissing Jordan’s escort with a wave.
The corporal gave a short salute as Doctor Jordan entered the office, then closed the door behind her. Colonel Conners got up as the doctor approached his desk, then held out his hand to her. “I’m Colonel Conners, I understand you’ve offered to help our little project?” he asked, cutting straight to the point.
Doctor Jordan looked a little surprised. “Yes, sir, though I’m not sure how much help I would be… I’m just a forensics expert.”
“I'm not sure, either, but apparently our ‘mutual friend’ disagrees with me,” he said bluntly. “To be honest, Doctor, I would have sent you home yesterday with an oath not to say anything, but the computer at the station has asked for your time.”
Doctor Jordan froze, and Conners could hardly blame her. She’d just lost her best friend to aliens, and had gone through an abduction herself, albeit a friendly one. If he were her, he’d be home already, a pillow over his head, trying desperately to forget all of this.
He kinda wanted to do that anyway, but the paperwork alone ensured that no such dream could happen.
Doctor Jordan slowly swallowed, then shuffled her feet a little awkwardly. “Did he say why?”
“He did, ma’am, but before I tell you I feel I must warn you,” Conners said, his brow furrowing seriously. “If you agree, you won’t be going home for some time. If you don’t, then we can sign the paperwork now, and have you home in time for the midnight showing of the new Star Wars that just came out.”
Doctor Jordan gave out a hollow laugh. “...Do you really expect me to watch a movie about aliens, after knowing what I know?” she asked, a profound sadness lurking in her eyes. “Not after… Not after Jill.”
“No, but I thought you could use a little bit of a laugh,” Conners said. “Don’t… don’t worry about that. From what I’ve heard, Yavaar’s people are extremely powerful. If we can get them on our side, I’m sure that we’ll be able to get your friend back.”
“Just… tell me what I have to do,” Jordan said, straightening ever so slightly.
Conners sat back down, and motioned Doctor Jordan to take the seat opposite to him. “The alien’s been very forthcoming, but some… well, most of what it’s told us is far beyond us. However, it told me something interesting the other day. Apparently, it has been scanning everyone it’s brought aboard its base, including you.”
“What, did it find some kind of ancient, unknown gene that allows me to use their tech?” Doctor Jordan asked a bit dubiously as she sat down. “Somehow I doubt we even have a single chromosome between our two species that’s the same.”
The colonel gave her a hard, long look, before letting out a weary sigh. “No, nothing like that. Not exactly, anyway. Apparently any of us could learn to use their tech, given time; you just seem to have an aptitude for their tech that he was somehow able to scan for, though.”
Doctor Jordan reached up and self consciously ran a hand through her hair. “How would he be able to tell something like my aptitude?” she asked incredulously. “Does he know that much about the human mind, that he’s able to scan our brains like that?”
“I don’t really understand it, but apparently it has very little to do with our brains, despite some… rather disturbing intel," Conners said, folding his hands on the table in front of him. "He won’t even fully explain it in detail without a practical demonstration, and apparently your aptitude allows you to give one for him.”
“Me? Why does he need anyone! It’s his tech, why does he need me to show you guys how to use it?” Doctor Jordan asked, folding her arms in disbelief.
“He’s damaged, remember?” Conners pointed out. “He listed a couple of parts that I can’t really pronounce, and flat out refused to translate them back, stating that he didn’t have a full enough command of the English language to even think about doing it properly. Without those parts, he’s apparently incapable of giving us a demonstration of this ‘key power’ of his.”
Doctor Jordan looked at Colonel Conners, her expression clear that she didn’t buy it. “And I’m supposed to believe that I can ‘give a demonstration’, without these parts that he needs?” she asked flatly.
“According to him, the only reason he needs the parts at all is because he’s a machine. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, and he refuses to explain until his demonstration.” Conners leaned back, and rubbed a hand over his face, before giving Valerie a level stare. “Look, Doc, I’m going to be honest, here. We’re toying with things that we don’t understand, and dealing with an alien entity that may or may not want us all dead. If you want to back out now, I wouldn’t blame you.”
Doctor Jordan thought about this for quite some time, before finally giving the colonel a short shake of her head. “What choice do we have? We’re living on borrowed time, until either the bugs or snakes come and wipe us out,” she said, letting her arms fall dejectedly into her lap. “This will help us understand how their technology works, right?”
“It will, but you still don’t-”
Doctor Jordan shook her head again, then looked him in the eye. “Yes, I do. If I have this ‘aptitude,’ then we should use it, rather than waste time waiting for someone else to figure it out. Time that, unfortunately, we really don’t have.”
Colonel Conners was impressed. This woman was clearly made of some strong stuff. “Well, let’s go then. We’ll be going back up to the station for this, so prepare yourself,” he said, before getting up, circling his desk, and opening the door.
Doctor Jordan got up to follow him, and quickly found herself being led through the heart of the base. They passed by quite a few soldiers and scientists on their way, most of which only gave a short hello, or a quick salute, before passing the two. After a few minutes of this, the two finally stopped at a black, metal door with a hand scanner, which was currently flanked by two rangers. The two gave a short salute to the colonel, but otherwise did not acknowledge their existence as the colonel placed his hand on the scanner.
After a few short seconds, the machine beeped, opening the door and revealing a fully functional laboratory behind. There was a large number of people in white coats, poring over a number of alien objects, using a variety of human tools to examine said objects, or just taking notes on whatever writing tools they had available. Conners recognized a few of the objects, having been working on reports this whole time, but he didn’t stop to examine any of them. Instead, his eyes were locked on the small white probe in the center, which was sitting patiently on a metal table while a number of scientists examined it with a variety of instruments.
The probe began hovering the second that the two of them entered the room, startling the scientists working around it. “Colonel Conners! And Doctor Jordan! I am quite… enthralled? Yes! Enthralled that you’ve come! Are you here for the demonstration?”
“Yes, Yavaar, we’re here for that,” Conners said, giving the probe a guarded smile, which quickly faded. “Now, if you could just-”
Before he had even finished, there was a blinding flash of white light, and the two humans disappeared from the room.
One of the scientists looked at the probe, a disproving look on his face. “You know, you should really start letting people finish their sentences before teleporting them like that.”
“I should, but then I would not be able to see the look of shock on their faces once they appear in my base,” Yavaar explained, before landing the probe back onto the table. “Now, you may continue with your examination, Doctor Nilson. I will be quite busy for a time, and hope that you will be able to continue your research without my presence.”
“We should be fine, here,” Doctor Nilson said, shaking his head at the mischievous robot. It was unlikely that Yavaar had heard him, though, since the probe had already gone into sleep mode before the scientist had finished speaking.
Doctor Nilson shook his head again, before turning to one of his colleagues. “Any readings with that one?”
The other man gave the doctor a frustrated frown in response. “Whatever it’s using to teleport, it doesn’t show up on any of our instruments. Well, except for the audio and visual ones, but our eyes and ears are enough to pick those up.”
John grunted before picking up his notepad and pencil. “Well, keep trying. We’ll get something eventually.”
* * *
Valerie took several steps back in surprise, and promptly tripped over something hard. Luckily for her, whatever the object was, it was sitting in front of something about knee high, so all that happened was her falling on her rear into a somewhat comfortable sitting position.
A quick look around was all she needed to figure out that she had tripped over a pipe, and had planted her butt on a tool chest. Colonel Conners looked at her, somewhat annoyed, before turning to the room at large. “Okay, who’s the one that left their junk near the entry point?”
"That was me, sir. I'll move it right away!" came a voice somewhere behind Valerie. She ignored it, though, in favore of looking around the room she had been teleported into. The alien hangar had changed a whole lot since the last time she had been here. There were a lot of human-made tools her now, for starters, ranging from sledgehammers and hacksaws, to acetylene torches and full-blown explosives. There were quite a few humans here too. They all wore protective gear, such as hard hats, orange vests, and gloves, but a few were dressed in some rather unorthodox things, like hazmat suits and radiation gear.
She even saw a couple of workers suiting up in full astronaut gear, which only served to confuse her. “Are we in danger of decompression?” she asked the colonel, pointing to the two men.
“You are not, Doctor Jordan,” Yavaar’s voice said, sounding like it was right next to her. She jumped a bit, looking for the source of the voice, but found nothing.
“Yeah, he got me the first couple of times he did that to me, too,” Conners told her, holding out his hand to help her up.
Valerie took the offered hand gratefully, then looked up at the ceiling. “You were saying we didn’t have to worry? Why is that?”
“Because the sections of the base that are currently suffering decompression are sealed off,” Yavaar explained. “They are merely preparing to travel through those areas, since they need to pass through them before reaching my core. Do not worry, however. There are quite a few functioning safety shields remaining in this hangar, as well as inside the landing crafts. They will set them up at the doors, to ensure that no atmosphere leaks into the surrounding space.”
Valerie was still quite nervous about this. “But… what if those fail?”
“If they fail, I will seal off as many as I can, to ensure your safety,” Yavaar patiently answered. “Anyone left outside I will attempt to return to the planet’s surface, so do not worry. Every precaution is being taken, to ensure the safety of your people.”
“He’s actually pretty good about that. Jenson over there almost killed himself once, because he wasn’t paying attention,” Conners said loudly, earning a sheepish look from one particularly large guy. “Yavaar teleported him out before he had the chance to even realize he had been in danger.”
“Yes, yes, that’s all well and interesting, but we’re burning daylight and I really want to see this demonstration today, if you don’t mind,” a brisk, balding man in a labcoat said as he approached the two of them. He had a narrow pair of half-moon glasses on, and was currently looking at Valerie as if she were something that he had found stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
Yavaar hummed a little, before responding. “You are quite right, Doctor Phillips, though you cannot rush these things. Memory indicates that any of my people who tried to rush their gifts would often find themselves ‘biting off more than they can chew,’ to use a human expression.”
Doctor Phillips rolled his eyes at that, then looked up towards the ceiling. “Yes, yes, but we are still on an unknown timetable, so if you could please hurry?”
Valerie took a few steps forward. “Yeah, I’m kind of anxious to get this going too. I don’t even know what I’m doing, though…”
Yavaar gave out another hum at this. “Not surprising, considering how little I told them. I need a broader vocabulary to fully explain, and the closest word I have access to has irritated Phillips and his team to no end.”
Valerie looked at Doctor Phillips, then at Colonel Conners, somewhat worried. “What word is that?”
“Now now, I do not want your first time to be spoiled,” Yavaar rebuked her gently. “I have been very specific to your friends that they were not to mention the word to you, to prevent your actions from being tainted.”
If anything, this just confused Valerie more. “Okay… What is it you want me to do? I heard that this is the basis of all of your tech, so do you want me to try to use something? Where is it?” Valerie looked around, wondering if Yavaar wanted her to get into one of the shuttles or something, fervently praying that that wasn’t the case.
“Nothing like that, Doctor Jordan. First, I would ask you to step right here.”
Valerie turned to where the voice had shifted, and noticed a shaft of light from the ceiling illuminating a particular patch of floor. The area he had designated was a good deal distant from the workers and their equipment. In fact, it was somewhat isolated, the only things nearby being a few cameras positioned around it, a laptop, and a few instruments that she had no name for, as well as a few she did.
She easily recognized the Geiger counter, which immediately set her on edge. “What’s that for?” she asked, pointing towards the device.
“Frankly, I do not know. I have already explained to Doctor Phillips that this does not produce any ionizing radiation, but he has refused to believe me,” Yavaar explained.
Doctor Phillips scoffed at that, then sat down at the laptop. “I am merely covering all contingencies. Doctor Jordan, if you would, please?”
Valerie moved to the spot of floor, still quite nervous at the unknown of all of this. This was further increased when Doctor Phillips began turning on all the equipment. “This is alien energies test forty-five. Subject is Doctor Valerie Jordan, designated by alien entity Yavaar as having aptitude. Begin when ready, Doctor Jordan, Yavaar,” Doctor Phillips said, typing several things on the open laptop in front of him.
This only served to heighten Valerie’s fear. Something that Yavaar apparently picked up on. “There is no need to be afraid, Doctor Jordan. This is quite safe.”
“Just… tell me what you want me to do,” Valerie said nervously.
Yavaar gave out a hum, then another strange sound, like the sound of a page of a book turning. “Very well, then. Please, close your eyes, and hold your hand out, palm up, and level with your chin.”
Valerie did as instructed, feeling like the eyes of everyone in the room was on her. This feeling was only reinforced by the fact that it had gotten a lot quieter. The only things she could hear was a faint whispering.
“Now, if you will, I would like you to imagine fire,” Yavaar said, his voice completely monotone. “It doesn’t have to be very big. A candle will do.”
Valerie peeked open one of her eyes. “Wait, what? Why?” She asked, noticing that most of the work crew had stopped to watch her.
Colonel Conners noticed where she was looking, and quickly waved at them. "What, haven't you lugs ever seen a lady before? Get back to work!"
They grumbled a little, but otherwise did as they were told.
Yavaar was less than pleased by this interruption, but kept his voice calm. “Please, do not question, just do as I ask. Questions may come after. Now, close your eyes again, and imagine fire.”
Valerie took in a deep breath, then slowly let it out as she did as instructed.
“Are you imagining fire?” Yavaar asked quietly. “Can you see in your mind a chemical combustion? Two elements burning and combining to make a new molecule?”
“I can,” Valerie said, feeling somewhat silly.
“Good. Now, if you will, I would like you to imagine a lake around you, while you are a tiny cup of water, floating in this lake,” Yavaar said, his voice still completely calm. “You are a special kind of cup, though. You have arms. Can you see in your mind your arms?”
Valerie furrowed her eyes somewhat, confused at the turn this was taking. “I… can, but why-”
“Questions come after,” Yavaar reminded her.
“Yes, sorry. I’m a cup in a lake, filled with water,” she rattled off quickly.
“Now, if you would please, in your mind, use your cup arm to scoop some water into your cup.”
Valerie did as instructed, but was surprised when she felt a warmth grow in her chest. “Yavaar, I… What is this?”
“Good, good. Now, you can feel the water in your cup, right? Feel it mix with your water, but it is wild. Unpredictable. So unlike the calm water already inside you,” Yavaar said, his voice barely containing his excitement.
“Yeah… but, I can… Why am I suddenly… This feels weird,” Valerie said. She was tempted to open her eyes, but refused to give in. It was like she had just become aware of something just below her skin, something that had lurked there for so long, that she couldn’t even describe how it felt. Only now, with this burning sensation coursing through her, did she become aware of this other sense within her. Even now she found it impossible to describe. It would be like trying to describe the color blue, or how sweet tastes.
But she found that whatever feeling inside of her moved with her imagination. When she prodded the warmth with the ‘cup arms’ that Yavaar had told her to imagine, the warmth moved as if responding to it.
“Now, I want you to keep the lake water inside of you, while we bring your mind back to fire,” Yavaar suddenly cut in, reminding Valerie that she wasn’t alone. “In your mind’s eye, I want you to imagine a candle flame in your upturned hand. Now, once you have that image, I want you to take the lake water inside of yourself, and push it into your hand.”
Valerie swallowed, then did what she was asked. It was a lot harder than she thought, since she couldn’t seem to separate the warmth from that weird feeling inside of herself. “It… it’s sticking to me. I can’t tell which is the lake water and which is my water now.”
“Don’t,” Yavaar said, his voice carrying a note of command. “You aren’t trying to separate yourself. You’re trying to push the new water into the image of fire. It’s okay if some of your water goes into the fire, too.”
Valerie felt her whole body warm up as she did as instructed. Sweat started pouring down her face, when suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt a warmth not inside herself, but outside. Cautiously, she peeked open a single eye, only to see something she refused to believe.
There, hovering just above the palm of her hand, was a small flicker of flame. It went out almost the second after she opened her eyes, leaving her feeling drained and empty. Just beyond that she could see both Colonel Conners and Doctor Phillips, as well as the entire construction crew, all staring at her with open mouths, their eyes wide with wonder.
“Congratulations, Doctor Jordan. You are the first human to ever use magic,” Yavaar said, his voice echoing in the silence that followed.
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Whoa, still lovin' this series. When you release the "scrubbed" version, I'd definitely have to get a copy. Both for the interestingly written world building, and how fun it would be to have a friend read my copy then show them the original MLP fiction, lol.
Congratulations.
Are you aware of The Celestia Code? I forget the author's name, but they've managed to get it printed & sold via print-on-demand while still being thoroughly MLP, without being sued into oblivion, along with it's three sequels. I don't know beyond that, but I'd imagine it's well worth looking into
I'm sorry to have to say this but I'm one of those people who has bought limited-run print-fics with the MLP content and I wouldn't buy your stories without the MLP.
It's nothing against you... it's just that a story is a careful balance and, with rare exceptions, you can't just change the names without destroying what makes the story work, because either the MLP bits are essential to the experience the story builds (resulting in something that can't stand alone) or they're not and explicitly feel like the story would be better without them.
I think the only story on this site that I'd be willing to buy, de-MLPed, is Days of Wasp and Spider, and that was written, from the beginning, to be compatible with de-MLPed publication. (It's a distant-past prequel following Celestia and Luna before they had those names and the only overt connections to MLP are in the synopsis and cover, yet it does a better job of grabbing me than most of the professional fiction I pay for.)
...and it's not MLP-specific. For example, there's a multi-cross named Divine Blood that I reviewed and have read multiple times. It's incomplete because the author started to rewrite it as non-fanfic, but I have no interest in the rewrite because of why I like it so much: Once the fanfic version gets up and going, it has some very creative and engaging world-building for the origins of Gods and Demons in Oh! My Goddess. The ideas gain noteworthiness from their relationship to O!MG canon rather than it being intrinsic to the ideas themselves.
Due to a variety of factors (eg. growing competition, millennials relying on libraries rather than bookstores for entertainment to make up for stagnant wages, etc.), traditional publishers are much more reluctant to accept unproven authors than in the past.
My mother has experience helping others to self-publish through print-on-demand and, based on that, I'd recommend Lulu.com for their combination of output quality, price point, and no sneaky contract terms.
(They were actually the ones who started the whole self-publishing boom and were founded by a guy who got burned by traditional publishing when they could only sell a third of the copies they printed of his book, they landfilled the rest, and he didn't make any money.)
Smart guy. If he had told them about the affinity forMagic then everyone would've gone into it with too much scepticism for it to work.
8954184
He did tell them. The only one who didn't know was Valerie, since she would be the one performing the test.
you've got the touch, you've got the power! it will be interesting to see what Valerie's affinity will be.
"Knight Breeze has a baby." i cant imagine how terrifying/exhilarating that must be, i hope you get plenty of sleep.
Did really Valerie perform an act of Magic through a simple exercise countless hucksters, gurus and others have tried before? What did Yavaar actually do to "awake" her to magic ?
Also I love Yavaar, and woohoo Valerie! You go girl
Speaking of yays and woohoos, congrats on fatherhood! 🎉🎊🏆
8954216 The only reason humans have not used magic before, as has been covered before, is because earth does NOT have a magical field. It was stolen by Discord, if you remember.
Magic in this universe requires several things, the biggest one of these is a powerful enough magical field to draw power from. Your field alone is incapable of creating magical effects, regardless of how powerful you are. Most planets automatically generates these fields, but earth doesn't have one.
The Quzin are capable of creating artificial fields, which Yavaar has access to. He's about to explain this, he merely wanted a demonstration first.
8954219 Thank you, man! Glad you enjoyed this chapter!
8954267
You betcha! Chet U Betcha
8954276 I get it!
Shut up, nappa.
Congratulation on your son. I wish you good luck on publishing your story, as for buying it, it would be hard to say I haven't read a payed book in a number of years might be something to consider through. Good luck on making writing a career for yourself.
8954279
Heeeeyyyy Vegeeeeetaaaaa 👻
I see what you did there, with that reference. Great chapter as always, and congratulation on becoming a father
!
8954332 Yay! Someone else watches Stargate! And thank you, I am super stoked.
I’m going to have to call shenanigans on the station being made of normal steel; Even if the snake people can throw magic at the problem and create some kind of passive woo woo shield that keeps it together, that creates a single point of failure for the whole station. That is a big no no, for anything involving space, not to mention monstrously inefficient.
If this is anything to go buy then the snake people would be screwed if the bugs got a hold of Chrysalis's throne, or any other mcguffin that nullifies magic.
If you were looking into selling it via Amazon and just self pub, I could see like $12 usd being a decent price. That would be about, 15ish here in Canada-land, which would be fine by me for a decent story.
Granted, I'm also the guy who spends like 30 bucks for the hardcover WoW novels when they drop, so maybe I'm just different from everyone else... At least in the mid 20's age group.
8954370 Yes, the station is made of steel, because it isn't a battle station, and doesn't require anything expensive. Their battleships are made of something else entirely. Remember, this is a science outpost, not a warship. The ability to strengthen the hull is more or less a stopgap measure against meteor strikes.
Nice update my man. Hope to see more.
Grats on poppahood!
8954219
Best part of the whole chapter, although the very end with real magic use was a close second.
Lol nice. You remembered to continue to keep track of what the characters know. She's the first to use magic that they know of, lol.
Another great work, as usual.:D And congrats on being a father.^^
grats on the baby, good luck getting official work published, keep the chapters coming please, and remember us bronies down here when you reach the top!
Well... I dropped $15 American on Patrick Rothfuss's, "The Name of The Wind" in paperback form. You're probably safe charging around $10 as an unestablished author for the same. Double for hardcover.
Is this really only a trilogy? Seems like that either means a really long 3rd part, or quite a few loose ends. Either way, I love it.
Haha, we thought he was just being coy not calling it Magic, but since the stupid science types balk so hard at it he adapted well.
Keep going! ;)
“Congratulations, Doctor Jordan. You are the first human to ever use magic.”
Weren't there human mages prior to Di
ckscord?Congratulations and blessings on your new kiddo!! As much as I love this series, always remember that your family > cartoon horsies. :) Then again, after reading this heart-meltingly adorable footnote, it sounds like you've already got your priorities straight:
I honestly think you're the first MLP author I've come across who's tried to do something this ambitious with scrubbing your stories and then publishing them. As someone else mentioned, a significant appeal of this series for me is its setting in the MLP world with MLP characters, so I don't really see myself buying a copy that's scrubbed of all those references. HOWEVER...I absolutely, 100% support your desire to publish this and make a successful career out of it! I know practically nothing about copyright and whatnot, but I definitely think the non-MLP elements (heh) of this story are strong enough to attract readers based on their merits alone. If there's any way I can help you with proofreading or testing ideas, I'll do my best to help out!
I will 100% purchase this book when you publish it as soon as I’m aware of its existence! This story is epic.
second modern human (kinda) to use magic
I thought the Yavaar was based out of a mountain?
This is definitely on my mental list of stories to reread, just to get my bearings again.
I have no idea how much I'd pay for the book, just that I probably want one. It's only "probably" because I'd like to see what's up with the conversion?
Also, the people talking about published for sale MLP fanfics need to remember that just because someone didn't get sued yet doesn't mean it's legal or allowed, and anyone who is sued might be forced into a non-disclosure agreement, so you might not ever hear about it.
8954353
SGU though- I'm just glad the drama ship is so far out in interstellar space that we don't really need to worry about it. 
Dude, I love Stargate.
Meep the Changling is also currently working on a story that will be pony scrubbed and made its own tale to sell. Might wanna pm her and ask she usually dose her research.
So glad to see more of this wonderful universe you crafted!!!
I’d drop 10 bucks on a digital version of your story, not sure how mUgh I’d be willing to spend on an actual book been years sense I purchased a phisical copy.
8955666 Nope, Yavaar is in space. If he were in a mountain, it would have been extremely difficult for the humans to miss the Krin firing on his station. Since, you know, they disabled him first before moving on to abduct people.
8955388 Yes, but Yavaar doesn't know that!
8955226 Yavaar doesn't know about them, though. For all he knows, Humanity has evolved in a magic-less environment.
Most of the paperback books on my shelf were all in the $8 - $10 range. Of course; it's been awhile since I bought a book, so the average price might a little higher now.
That being said, I'll definitely buy a copy. Keep up the great work.
8955048 I've been wondering about that too. We're definitely reaching the endgame, but I'm probably going to have to swallow my words and put the rest in a fourth book. Show's how much experience I have with these things, am I right?
8954853 I'll never forget you guys. Fimfiction is where I try out my ideas before attempting to publish them. It's my proving ground, if you will.
Even if this first story takes off like hotcakes, I'll still be publishing these, since I need to experiment with feedback before publishing. It's kinda become my modus operandi.
Sorry, but I'm afraid that the title's already been taken by your (former?) boyfriend.
EDIT: Got doctor Valerie and Jill mixed up.
8956347 Jill was the one who said that. Doctor Valerie Jordan was Alex's girlfriend, the one he "abandoned." You're getting the two confused.
8956351
It appears that I am. Thanks for telling me.
This is what I get for fast-reading through stories in my over-eagerness. In other words, your stories are so good that any semblance of self-restraint is gone.
Anyways, I look forward to your next chapter. Until then, good luck and my best wishes.
P.S. That was a fast reply.
Watch me turn my mistakes into compliments about the author in order to assuage my pride.
8956367 No worries, mate. I'm a bit of a worry wart, so I usually keep reloading my pages right after publishing, because I need to see what I did wrong. After a few days my fears subside, but every time I publish is a bit harrowing for me.
8956383
I think I can relate. I'm a perfectionist myself, so any mistakes I find in my own comments, be it grammatical or otherwise, are eliminated with extreme prejudice. It gets tedious when I write long comments, seeing as I often edit them multiple times to correct every mistake I find when I re-read them. I remember writing a counter-argument on how OOC Spike was acting in a story. Took me hours, I think.
Saw some mistakes but I didn't have notepad open so I forgot where they were, I'll probably read it over again later.
In your scrubbed version, what are the aliens that our hero meets? Are they still equine types?
8958018 Nope, sorry. They birds.