DARPA, the Pentagon's team of mad scientists, have cooked up something interesting. A portal to another dimension? Why? Better question- why not? Somehow sensing a military application from this, generals from around the world cobble together a task force to go investigate this new land and mark sites for later exploitation. Backed up by the fury of the world's modern military forces, they launch their operation into this strange realm. When they discover a bright, happy universe full of talking ponies, they realize the folly of what their mission is. How will Equestria react to people whose confessed profession is being expert fighters? Matter of fact, how will Equestria react to PEOPLE?
Chapters (10)
yes. nothing but yes.
it's, uhm, well written. the terminology is perfect, from my limited experience, and the tactics are sound but ....
uhm, why? if we find a new world/universe/etc, we wouldn't send Spetznaz, Rangers, and SAS in except as guards for our diplomats. what's the point of clearing houses? why were they dropping in the middle of Ponyville? unless humanity needs something desperately from Equestria, we'd probably find a more peaceful manner of introduction. and even then, we'd try talking about it first. this 'show of force' seems heavy handed, excessive and poorly thought out.
uhm, i'm sorry if i sound mean but ... i just don't get it. i'm all for being proud of our acomplishments and our warrior culture but this, it just doesn't make much sense to me. i'm very sorry.
753484
your right, but being a SPHESS MAHREEN i for one love shows of excessive force, and as they say, "peace through superior firepower"
753484 You're straight bro. The way I figured it, we wouldn't send in diplomats, movers, shakers and organizers until they had complete confidence that it was safe to conduct business there. And let's be honest, when are we NOT heavy handed, excessive, and over the top? Also, I like writing about this stuff. Makes me happy. It'll all shake out there. Hang in there.
753484
New dimension, no idea about what's in it... let's only send scientists that could easily be captured. I'd rather overestimate an enemy than underestimate one, so the course of action seems appropriate.
I like the story so far, and I'm glad I took the time to read it. Following now :D.
753484 Also, as far as dropping in the middle of Ponyville: With no idea as to where the center of gravity could be, they're making a wild ass guess as to where they should be landing. Also, when moving through possibly contested areas, you'd want to clear the buildings surrounding you, to ensure that you're relatively safe wherever you set up. Like King of the Muffins said, it's better to overestimate what will happen than underestimate. Stay classy bro. If you have further questions or concerns, don't hesitate to voice them. I will do my best to respond to any inquiries. Out.
753547
...
that's not what i said.
753589
i said the tactics were sound.
good luck author, i hope it turns out well for you.
753677 Sorry. Not used to getting actual feedback on my efforts at putting pixels remarkably similar to letters up on the interwebz. Appreciate the well wishes.
You have piqued my interest, dear sir. I'm looking forward to more.
753677
You asked why we would deploy military-grade soldiers, and I gave you a reason.
While a glossary would be nice, it's not necessary. Besides, it's kind of fun figuring out what everything means.
753484
Why, for the shits and giggles of course. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
Oh, this story makes me smile like an idiot! Any chance we get to see more of the frenchies? Personally the would be much lulz to be had to have Rarity hear them swear in french (which is seen as quite the elegant language in Equestria.)
753884 Not to worry bro, every faction participating (GRU Spetznatz, 22 SAS Regiment, MARSOC, Operational Detachment- Delta, and the COS) will all get some good quality face time. I was already planning on having Rarity interact with the COS the most, but everypony will get to spend some quality(?) time with the Special Operators.
I'm digging it. The action has good pacing and the prose is crisp. No glaring grammar mishaps and I can enjoy a good mil-sci-fi anyday. Add ponies and we're golden.
I would like to see some kind of an indicator or hard break between perspective shifts. Some dashes, a line. I put "000" centered as a break, something to let the reader know there is a perspective shift. Other than that, I can't find much to criticize.
753911 You got it bro. I could've sworn I stuck them in there. Must have forgot to save. That's something that always bugs me, and it reflects discredit upon myself to do something that I detest. Rest assured, the Local Commissariat is on the case.
Edit: Totally stole your concept of Trip Zero. Mind doing me a solid? Re-read chapter 2 if you could, tell me how that flows now.
Hey, the French and Brits but no Canadians? Fairly certain Canadians have the some of the best trained soldiers on Earth. I can live with it, but I'm rather disappointed.
754063 Don't worry mang. Things will shake out. Canada is a NATO country, so they'll definitely be making an appearance. Just gotta roll with it for now. Stay classy bro.
Very interesting. Awaiting for a new chapter, keep up the good work!
754122
Sweet! Whenever someone writes a fic with the army in it, Canada ever shows up! It annoys me, to say the least. Anyway, I would love to see the Joint Task Force 2, or JTF2, Canada's secret specials forces group come in. After all, they helped America a lot in the war in the Middle East.
As you say, stay classy.
754122
hory sheet!
sphees mahreen!? you have great taste in sci-fi and games, my brotehr. excellent fic btw,hope this continues.
754327 ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME! Should be continuing. All my paperwork to get out finally got approved, so now I play the waiting game. Gets boring in a barracks room ya heard?
753541 love your profile pic. ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME! Also good story
this is a very well writen story so far dude. and i really like how you're explainning things in the footnotes. keep up the marvelous work my friend.
I will say, you have certainly captured my attention. You also seem to love throwing military terms out there as much as I do in my own projects. I had one reader on fanfiction ask me how on Earth I remembered all of that "military talk". I told him it was from playing too much Call of Duty. That in the fact that if I am going to write something that has to do with modern military forces (or anything, really) I prefer to make sure I've done my research to at least give the appearance I know what I'm on about.
Anyway, certainly interesting. Got a fave, vote up, and watch from me.
754517 Between Call of Duty showing me how awesome my job could have been if it were directed by a competent Michael Bay and living the humdrum existence that is the Infantry, I'm more filled with jargon than I am actual vernacular. Appreciate the kind words and the fave bro. Stay classy.
Great story. Short, sweet, to-the-point chapters that still deliver the perfect portions of info. Very realistic, as far as the reactions go. What are you gonna do when a ton of 6 foot, never-before-seen creatures storm your town? Oh yeah, MILITARY JARGON RULES!
P.S. I respect an author who replies to the comments on his/her story. You gain 100+ respect!
755493 Thanks for the kind words brother. I do my best to encourage an active, open relationship between me and the readers. Helps me get a better read on what you guys expect, and I really do appreciate the feedback. I never get any on that other site. Stay classy. BTW, did the footnotes help? I've got one for, one against.
755513 Oh yeah they did. I'm not too fluent on military vocab among other things, and I think I might try my hand at Spades. You've got another one for from me.
755543 Word. I think they'll be pretty big for a while, but they should drop off as people get more and more used to the lingo. Also, Spades is quite possibly the best card game that does not involve money changing hands ever. You should definitely try it.
755697 Sweet. I love reading footnotes because I can say I learned something by sitting in front on the computer all day. Can't wait for the next chapter to come out.
You definitively need to meke the next chapter. please do it
755715
755707
Working on it bros. HighTreason, glad to help you out. I too enjoy footnotes. That's why Bill Simmons is my favorite sports columnist. Next chapter should, ideally, be out within the next day or so. Ideally. Stay classy.
This story got me hooked.
Tracking. Keep it up!
BTW, there is no t in Spetznaz. Ideally it's СпецНаз, but whatever.
As in for now, this story is 5/5
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Here's my pic for you. :)
756427 Nice artwork bro! Thanks for the tip. I'm so used to phonetically sounding things out. Guess I didn't quite do enough research. Glad you enjoyed it. Stay classy.
755697
I dont need the foot notes cause well i am in the military so i know most of this stuff. Everything seems to be how it could (and who knows maybe did happen knowing the crazies we have at DARPA) if you need any help I will do my best but remember I am not in the speceil forces so my info may be limited but I will still do my best to help. Great story and update soon.
757260 Word bro. I too am serving. Four years in the Marine Corps Infantry myself. So, ground tactics and terminology I should be able to handle. However, I have limited experience with anything that does not involve being a ground pounder. Therefore, if you have done things other than infantry I will need to call upon your services from time to time in accordance with the rules and regulations governing the discipline and conduct of the armed forces of the United States of America.
759190 Forgot to say, Stay classy. My bad on that one.
759719
I am in the Army but i dont care about all that interservice rivilies BS. I in artillery, a 13R to be precise, so if need anythings about the "King of Battle" I you soldier.
PS, I respect for you Maines. Keep up the great work.
759763 Yeah, inter-service rivalries are a crock. You guys do get some shiny toys though. I stood watch with an army guy at an ammo point on the Big Island one time. He looked at my M16 like it was something ancient. I'm jealous of that. Arty huh? I'm a fan. 155mm ain't nothing to sneeze at.
759803
All the soldiers and Maines Love the to see the big boom. Especailly if it is on the other guys side. And the M16 ain't bad I quilifed on that thing in basic. I take that with a folding stack over the m4 any day beside the M16 in my admittly short expaince, got out of ait a few days a go, has the better range and accurancy which i like.
756427 While I won't be able to utilize the Cyrillic alphabet, I did go back and correct my previous spelling errors. Thanks for the pointer bro. Stay classy.
"Marine Corps Special Operations Command. We get shit done." You owe me a new diaphram.
761549 Glad you enjoyed it. New diaphragm has been ordered from Supply, but I'll need you to fill out a NAVMC-6 in order to receive it. In the meantime, stay classy.
753911 Have you possibly heard of Fallout: New Vegas?
761584 Tha.....nk........y.................…ou.........………fo.......
761603 Are you alright? Are you okay? Twilight, get the corpsman!
761622 Slightly Morbid Fun Fact: Without the diaphragm, the lungs are nothing more than two bags of flesh!
761659 The more you know.
If anyone thinks vodka's gonna be bad, just be glad the Irish aren't involved! Heh heh...Irish Coffee...Irish wiskey...Dear God I hope one of my cousins gets married. An Irish wedding consists of one part ceremony to sixteen parts party.
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Looking good!
Hungry for moar of course but no need to rush, don't want for quality to drop.
Story is really intense, even if no actual action seen. Keep it up! :)
761663 Hurk Blagh