Secure, Contain, Protect

by Teh_Zodiac

Anabasis

30 Frostivus 3455

I never really thought about the concept of family. I always assumed my relationship with Twilight was something different altogether: I always called her a “friend”. They say that you don’t truly understand what it means to lose something until you actually lose it… It’s been two months since Twilight… when you write it, it is so harder… since Twilight died in her sleep. I don’t remember the funeral, I don’t remember the moment when I found her, still and cold, in her bed. The only thing I remember is the void, the emptiness. There’s nothing left for me to do, neither in Ponyvillle nor in Canterlot. I’m staying at Applejack’s for now, until the Princess finds another home for me. She says she and Luna would love to let me stay at the Castle, but the court wouldn’t allow it. I think it’s for the better. The less I see them, the better it is, since they remind me so much of her I can’t stand it. With her friends is better. I had come to see them as my friends as well, so there isn’t much of an association, but since Twilight passed away, they don’t really hang out anymore. Not as they used to do. It’s like Twilight was the cornerstone, the central piece of puzzle that managed to make everything fit together perfectly; without her, they recriminate and lunge at each other’s throat at every occasion. I’ve seen the dark side of everypony, at last. I always thought of them as big perfect sisters that weren’t flawed in the least, each and everyone perfect in its own way. It isn’t true in the least. But I don’t really care anymore. I’ve started writing this diary, after reading in a book that putting things on paper helps coping with them. I’ve also started reading a lot more.
She always said I didn’t read nearly enough.

13 Brumarch 3455

Today I had a fight with Applejack. I said some bad things, and she said some bad things too. If it weren’t for Big Mac we would’ve tried to tear our respective faces off. I was sent in Applebloom’s room, where I usually sleep. She tried to console me, but my nodding was just circumstantial. Granny Smith is cold towards me, she thinks that my brooding is a bad influence for Applebloom and that it is keeping AJ always on edge.
She’s not completely wrong.

17 Brumarch 3455

Fluttershy came to visit today. She’s the only one I look forward to see, the others now just seem insufferable. She brought some spiced tea, and two gems. I really liked both. We chatted. After an hour or so, she started sniffing. It’s probably because I remind her of-
I said it was fine if she wanted to leave, if I was causing any discomfort. She just let a tear fall down her cheek, trotted up to me and hugged me tightly for what felt a long time. After a while I touched her mane. It was as smooth as hers.

1 Termidorus 3455

I went to Rarity, to see if she needed some help around the shop like usual. Her parents doesn’t let Sweetie Belle stay at Rarity’s much more now. Even if she thinks she hides it well, I saw the tear-stained pillows and tore fabrics lying in the back. She seems like her normal, vain self, but she cries every night. It’s probably because she can’t even make a decent dress anymore. It’s more pity than love.
She always said I should help out friends

20 Termidorus 3455

She was like a mother, wasn’t she?

22 Termidorus 3455

I miss her. I want her to be here with me.

34 Septembrile 3455

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie fought in front of everyone at the market. It was for something stupid and trivial, I can’t even remember it. But they had to be separated by me and Big Mac. I read somewhere that dragons go through spurts of growth when they are faced with an hostile environment. I can already stand eye to eye with a normal stallion. Is that what you wanted, Twilight? To keep me happy until you were gone and then leave me to age and its curses? Why am I writing this? You aren’t going to answer, aren’t you?

37 Septembrile 3455

Just came back from a small trip to her parents. I wonder why I accepted the Princess’ invitation. After I got inside, I was showered with unconditional love from… I called them Mum and Dad when I was smaller. It’s probably because I am the only bridge left for them to remember. It’s ok though. Shining Armour and Cadance were there too. Cadance was nice as always, but Armor was absent and concise when addressing me. I think it’s because he blames me for her death. I don’t know why. It’s ok though.
Dad started talking about a nice mare she met at the library, a detective for the Equestrian Intelligence actually. He said that she reminded him of Twilight, then covered his mouth with his hoof. But Mum was already going into the kitchen, saying she had to wash the dishes. After that, I went to the Castle to spend the day with Princess Celestia. She wasn’t there, there was a sudden appointment, something about an old lady and an archeologist, didn’t quite catch that. But Luna was there to greet me. She said there wasn’t any need for formality, that I could just call her by name. We spend the day touring the castle, and the night watching movies, something she hadn’t caught on yet. She really liked The Thingie, but I think it’s kind of trashy.

14 Ottumbrine 3455

Heart’s Warming is nearing, it’s just next month. I’m kind of getting into the spirit myself. After all, I made a new friend. Me and Luna sent letters to each other every week since the first time we actually talked. We both like movies, and I’ve started to help her a bit to get into touch with all the modern life. It’s good to finally help someone again.

25 Ottumbrine 3455

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’m your faithful assistant, not anypony else. I won’t do it again, I’m not going to help her. Please, don’t be mad at me.

1 Januris 3456

On the last day of the year, I apologized to Luna.
Maybe I should write this down. Maybe it’s going to help. One day Luna came to see me in Ponyville. I had decided to come back to the library, since Applejack was no longer a feasible option, to take on to the job of the librarian, given that it was me who kind of already did most of the job, before. It was boring, because the citizens in Ponyville are not really interested in the literature, but it was a way to occupy days, and it felt nice to have something to do again. Also, I could read anything I wanted. Anyway, Luna came for a surprise visit after the sun was beyond the horizon. She had brought a movie I had suggested to see, and asked if we could see it together. I accepted, and whipped something up for dinner. While at the table, she said how she was grateful that there was someone like me to help her get by in this everyday, common life that seemed so strange to her, how good it felt to have something like a “faithful assistant.” Hearing those words, I snapped at her. I almost tried to claw her face off. She just blocked me with her magic and looked at me sadly, then teleported away.
I can’t keep this up, Twilight. You have to let me go. I have to let you go. Will you forgive me, Twilight? If I move on, will you forgive me? You won’t be mad at me, right?
Luna said she understood my reaction and that her choice of words was poor and uncalled for. She’s not fair. I’m one who should be feeling bad. Not her. Then why I felt rightly offended? Why it feels like you are still here with me?

15 Januris 3456

Me and Luna, we did…I’m sorry.

16 Januris 3456

I’m seeing a therapist now. The first session was strange, but it felt good, really good to talk about it. To talk about everything. He just said I could talk about anything, so I started. I told him I was keeping a diary. He complimented me and advised to continue writing it. The girls are also starting to move on. They are all calmer and more collected now. I don’t see them much, since I spent half of my time in Canterlot, but I can see they are a lot friendlier to each other now. To see best friends changing to enemies and then friends again.
Strange how things goes.

18 Januris 3456

I sneaked up on them. They tried to make it seem like a Royal Visit, that it was just to check up on the remaining Elements of Harmony. But I followed them to Applejack’s barn, and there I saw her. I saw her, she was there, and there was a flying squid, and another stallion, and I couldn’t move. Now I’m writing, and the Sun is no longer in the sky, even though is about eleven in the morning. There is only this deep dusk that encompass the entire sky, and it’s dark and cold. Luna is coming to pick us up today, she’s bringing us in a safe place.

Twilight, I know you’re there. I know you will come back here. Maybe you already have. Just please, I just want to know this. Why?

The small, charred notebook fell down her grip, into the dusty ground. The oak was practically split open, and she could see and feel the dark, starless sky above her. A familiar buzz and hum got behind her, and a familiar sensation of softness tingled her shoulder.

“Twilight? Are you done? We have to move, Bright Light said the Ukulele is nearby” a friendly and soothing voice ringed in her head

She sighed and answered slowly, without looking at the wyvern.

“Go ahead, Kalos. I’m coming right away.” The wyvern knew better than to insist, and left the lavender mare alone with her thoughts.

More than a single, solitary tear left her eyes, as she looked one last time at her home and at that burnt book lying in the dirty floor that had seen so many strange and happy and wonderful days.

“I wish I knew, Spike.”

Comments

[Ruby Rose]

Wait, Hiatus?
Finally updated, short, but great quality.

[Teh_Zodiac]

2131410

I'm keeping the Hiatus since I don't really know if I have the inspiration to just write a 4000 words chapter all tomorrow or just wait another 4 months for inspiration to strike me.

[Nova007]

maybe you could write a chapter about there reaction to twilight being alive