• Published 16th Jun 2012
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Ponyville Pawn Stars - TimidWolf



You never know what's going to trot through the door of the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop...

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Episode 6: Full Steam Ahead

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know WHAT is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

The pawnbrokers at the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop were just getting ready to start their morning off when they heard a knock at the front door. Cash heard it and decided that since it was just a couple minutes to the hour he would go ahead and have Tony the security pony unlock the front door. He sent Tony to the front of the store, who used one of the keys he kept on a loop around his neck to open the door.

As he opened the door he saw the orange mare wearing her trademark Stetson patiently waiting to enter. "Mornin' Tony!" she greeted him.

"Good morning, Applejack," he returned.

"I appreciate ya openin' up shop a little early on my account," Applejack said. "Is Cash here? I need ta talk ta him."

"No prob," Tony answered. "He should be in the back office."

"Great!" she said as she entered. "Thanks, Tony."

Applejack trotted through the empty shop and went straight back to the counter where Cash stood looking over some paperwork. As she approached, Cash looked up and greeted her, "Hey AJ, good morning."

"Howdy, Cash," she returned as she stopped at the counter.

Cash put the paperwork aside and asked the mare, "So what brings you in this early?"

"Ah was wonderin' if ya could do me a favor..." She said as she put a hoof under her hat to pull something out.

"I do a lot of favors, AJ," he replied. "What's up?"

She set down the object, which turned out to be a rolled sheet of paper. She unrolled it and smoothed it out with her hoof, then said, "First off, tell me ya know a little somethin' 'bout these things."

Cash looked at the paper, upon which was a picture of a steam mechanism as well as a written description. After he reading it over, he replied, "Ah, a steam tractor. Sounds like something you and your folks could use on the farm. Yeah, I know some stuff about steam machines."

"It's exactly what mah folks an' Ah could use on the farm," Applejack said as she rolled up the paper and slipped it back under her hat. "Mah cousin Braeburn out on Appaloosa sent me a message the other day about one of these here steam tractors. There's a coupla mechanic-type ponies who have one, an' they're bringin' it with 'em on a train headin' for Ponyville today. Word is they're lookin' ta sell it ta somepony for the right price..."

"Let me guess," Cash asked, "you want to be that somepony?"

"Eeyup," she replied. "Big Mac an' I thought we could really use the steam power ta get the farmwork done a whole lot quicker. We won't hafta bust our humps nearly as hard durin' harvest season if we had one."

"You got that right," Cash said. "So where do I come in on this?"

"Well, the thing is, we've got some bits saved up for it," Applejack explained, "but if we hope ta git our hooves on the tractor we're gonna have ta try an' talk 'em down from their askin' price..."

"Ah, I see where this is going," the pawnbroker said. "You need me to help you seal the deal, right?"

"Well, Big Mac says mah arbitratin' skills are kinda, well..."

"Nonexistent?"

"Pretty much," Applejack admitted.

Here at my shop, we buy and sell a lot of stuff on our own, Cash said in an on-camera interview. But we also act as brokers for other ponies looking to get their hooves on that high-value item they really, really want. Most of them are like AJ here, looking to invest in something that will help their business. We basicially negotiate and make the sale for them, then we charge interest for our services. I'm really excited that she wants me to buy a steam tractor for her. Steam machines are amazing from what I've read about them, and this will be the first time I'll actually get to lay my hooves on one.

"Listen, Cash," she continued, "if ya could help us out an' buy us the tractor, we can pay ya back plus five percent o' the price."

"Five? I was thinking of more like fifteen."

"Aw, come on, Cash!" Applejack pled. "Don't make me beg! Ya know Ah can't argue with ya!"

"Then don't beg," Cash said. "There's your first lesson in making the sale. Don't beg, because if you've given up if you do. How about throwing me another percentage?"

She thought for a moment and said, "How 'bout seven?"

"Twelve," he countered.

"Nine!"

"Eleven."

"Ten!"

"All right, then, ten it is," Cash said. "Good job, you're catching on already."

"Thanks," Applejeck said. "But Ah'll still need ya to help me buy the tractor. The train should be here in a coupla hours, can ya come with me ta wait for it?"

"Sure thing, AJ," Cash said. "Just let me let the help know. I'll be with you in just a few minutes."

"Alrighty! Ah'll be waitin' for ya outside."

Cash left the counter and trotted into the back office, where Old Money, Big Hoss and Derpy were all sitting and enjoying a breakfast of coffee and donuts. "Alright guys, listen up," he said, getting their attention. "I've got to go to the train station and..."

"Wait a second," Hoss said, cutting him short. "You're leaving town? Will you take Gramps with you? That means I get the shop, right?"

"Whoohoo!" Derpy cheered as she pumped a front hoof up in the air. "Boss Hoss is the new boss!"

"Shut up, Derpy," Old Money grumbled. "Long as I'm breathin', I'm the boss 'round here. Now get to work."

"Aww," the gray mare said dejectedly as she got up and walked toward the back storeroom.

"Hey thunderheads, shut up and listen!" Cash exclaimed. "Applejack wants me to try and purchase a steam tractor for her today. It's coming in on a train and should be here in a few hours. We're going out there now to wait on it."

"You're chargin' her ten percent commission, right?" Old Money asked.

"Yeah, Pop, of course."

"Attaboy, son." The old pony then leaned back in his chair, opened one of his desk drawers and took out his playing cards.

Cash looked at Big Hoss and said, "Now I'll probably be out for awhile doing this, so I want you to hold down the fort while I do. Buy low and sell big, get at least one of our audits done and please, please keep Derpy out of trouble, will you?"

Hoss shrugged and said, "Can't promise you anything, Pops."

His sire sighed and repeated, "Well, will you try and keep her out of trouble?"

Just then Derpy walked through the office and between the two of them. She was carrying a variety of objects across her back, including a few books, jewelry, a flower pot, an abacus and a camera. Upon her head she balanced another couple of books and a muffin on top. "Doot de doot de doo!" she sang cheerily as she took her pile out of the office.

Cash and Hoss could only stare at her until she left. Then as they looked at each other again, Hoss shook his head and repeated, "Can't promise you anything, Pops."

"Fine, whatever," Cash groaned. "Just don't let the shop fall apart while I'm gone. Now I gotta get going, Applejack's waiting. See you all later."

"See you, Pops," Hoss called as his father left the office. "Good luck."

As the morning went on, Big Hoss went about checking the merchandise and helping customers. He was minding one of the counters when a tiny purple and green-scaled dragon walked into the shop. He was holding a red feather in one set of his claws. The little dragon looked around, saw Hoss and walked up to his counter. "Hey, Big Hoss!" he greeted.

"Spike, my main dragon," Hoss returned as he put up a front hoof over the counter. Spike made a fist in his free set of claws and bumped Hoss's hoof. "What can I do for you today, tough guy?"

"Well, if you're interested, I've got a quill that I want to sell you," the dragon offered.

Hoss raised one of his eyebrows. "A quill, seriously?" he asked. "Dude, I just ordered like, fifty of them for the shop. I think I'm good."

"But do you have one of these?" Spike asked as he showed Hoss the red feather he was carrying. As he turned it over in his claws it shimmered and even appeared to glow a little.

Hoss whistled and said, "Now that you mention it, no. I don't have a phoenix-feather quill. How did you get this?"

Spike chuckled and replied, "Well, I didn't get it from a phoenix, if that's what you're asking! And I certainly didn't get it from a phoenix that I've been secretly taking care of in Twilight's library, in case you were wondering!" he smiled nervously.

Hoss just stared at him for a moment, then muttered under his breath, "I've really got to stop by that place one of these days."

For most ponies, quills are common everyday tools, Big Hoss said in an on-camera interview. But the rarer ones are often collected, usually by writers or bird lovers. And the phoenix-feather quills are definitely sought after by these collectors. Ponies will pay good money for one of these magical writing utensils. And here's the kicker: you can't even use them on paper!

"Let me ask you this, Spike," Hoss said. "What do you know about these kinds of quills?"

"I've read a little about them in Twilight's library," Spike answered. "They're imbued with the magic of the phoenix itself, but as far as what the scope of that magic includes, I honestly don't know."

"Well, one thing I can tell you," Hoss said as he pointed to the quill with a hoof, "is that you can't use these quills with ink. Do you know why?"

"Because, um, it'll mess up the magic?" Spike guessed.

"Nope, doesn't have anything to do with the magic," the pawnbroker explained. "It's that you physically can't use ink with these quills because they don't write with ink. They write with fire."

"Wow, seriously?" Spike asked.

"Yep. You try to put this in ink and it'll all boil off before you could write anything with it," Hoss said. "Not to mention that if you try using this on a sheet of regular paper, it'll go up in flames. These quills are used to magically burn messages into any hard surface: wood, stone, even precious metals. Here, try writing a little something on this wooden counter."

"Really?" The dragon asked as he picked up the quill, looked at Hoss and inquired again, "You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Hoss said. "I've never actually seen it done, so give it a whirl."

"Okay!" he said enthusiastically as he put the tip down against the wood and started writing. As he wrote the quill crackled and smoked, and left hehind charred and smoking words upon the case. When he finished, Hoss leaned over and read the upside-down words Spike wrote.

"What the..." Hoss said as he read the words aloud, "'Dear Princess Celestia?'"

"Whoops!" Spike exclaimed as he set down the quill and said, "Sorry, force of habit."

"Eh, no big, I can probably sand that off later," Hoss said. "So how much do you want for it?"

"Enough to get somepony a nice gift for her...I mean, their birthday," Spike answered. "Like maybe five hundred bits?"

"Oh, really?" The pawnbroker asked with a hint of sarcasm. "If by somepony you mean that certain unicorn mare you've been fawning over ever since you first saw her in her boutique?"

"Who, Rarity? No way!" he replied defensively. After another moment he said, "Maybe."

"Well, in that case, five hundred would maybe cover a gift in Rarity's taste," Hoss reasoned. "Then again, five hundred would maybe not be what I can offer you for the quill. Just give me a minute to do a little research here..."

Hoss looked behind the counter as if he were searching for something. He soon had a book in his front hooves, which he put on the counter and opened. He flipped through the pages with a hoof as he searched through it.

"What's that?" Spike asked.

"This year's quill market value guide," Hoss answered. "Quills are priced according to their length, their bird of origin and the relative market demand. Let's see here...parakeet, no...peacock, no...here we go, phoenix! According to the book, it looks like your quill is valued at three hundred seventy-five bits."

"Really?" Spike asked. "That's a little low, but I suppose I could get something decent for that..."

"Which means that I can offer you about three twenty-five," Hoss cut him off as he shut the book and put it away.

"What?! That's it?!" Spike exclaimed and spit out a long green flame.

Hoss deftly ducked under it, then he smoothed over his mane with a hoof to make sure it didn't get singed. "Sorry, dude," Hoss said and shrugged. "I've got to be able to sell it and make a little money. That's just how it works."

"Can't you go higher than that?" The little dragon asked. "Like maybe to three-fifty?"

"I can do three thirty-five," the pawnbroker responded. "Can't go no more."

Dejected, Spike lowered his head, sighed and said, "Well, that stinks. How am I supposed to find a nice gift for Rar...I mean, my friend with that?"

"I dunno, big guy. I wish I could help you out," Hoss said. He glanced over at another part of the shop and saw something that caught his attention for a second. He looked back at Spike and said, "Hey, I've got an idea. How would you feel about a trade?"

Spike looked back up at Big Hoss and asked curiously, "What kind of a trade?"

"Follow me," he said. The two of them walked down a row of counters to the jewelry section, where they stopped and Hoss continued, "I'm just spitballin' here, but your friend likes jewelry, right?"

"Does Princess Celestia live in Canterlot?" Spike asked sarcastically.

Hoss pointed with a hoof to a set of sapphire earrings inside a glass case and offered, "Well, how about this: your give me your quill and I'll give you these earrings. The stones are kind of small, but they're very clear and pair very well with the silver. Out in the light they'll look like tiny fireworks. Plus, you don't have to go searching all over town on a budget for your gift. One stop shopping right here, dude."

"Hmm," Spike thought aloud as he looked over the earrings. "They're definitely the kind of thing she likes, and they're really sparkly..."

"I'll even sweeten the deal - literally, in your case - with this," Hoss said as he reached inside the case and pulled out a lumpy blue-green stone which he held on the end of a hoof in front of the dragon. "One raw aquamarine, a little something for you to snack on for your trouble."

"Oooh!" Spike gazed at the rock and drooled a little. "Now that you mention it, I am feeling rather famished..."

"So what do you think, my friend?" Hoss asked as he set the stone down on the counter. "Your quill for the earrings and the snack. Have we got a trade?"

"We've got a trade!" Spike answered. He shook Hoss's hoof and added, "You had me at aquamarine!"

"Copacetic," Hoss replied. "Let's go write this up."

A few moments later Spike had the gift-wrapped earrings in one claw and the aquamarine in the other, which he happily munched on as he was leaving. "Thanks again, Hoss!" he said through a mouthful of pebbles.

"You bet," Hoss called back. "Take it easy, tough guy."

Sometimes if you can't agree on a price for something, a trade can be a good compromise, Big Hoss said in an on-camera interview. As it turns out, those earrings alone weren't worth nearly as much as what I was willing to pay Spike for his quill, but putting them and the stone together as a trade sold him on the idea. Now I've freed up some space in the jewelry display and got a cool quill to sell. It's a win-win. Now I've just got to sand down those words before my dad thinks I've vandalized our own display case...

Meanwhile at the train station, Cash Money and Applejack waited at the platform for their train to arrive. Cash stood still and tapped a front hoof while Applejack paced up and down the length of the platform.

"Are ya sure we're at the right place, Cash?" She asked as she continued to pace. "Maybe we're at the wrong platform, or maybe we missed the train. Do ya think we missed the train?!"

"Relax, AJ, we're fine," Cash assured her. "This is Ponyville's only train station and there's only one platform. It's probably running late."

"Ah sure wish it would get here already!" she exclaimed and stomped her hoof. "All the waitin's killin' me!"

"Attention in the station," a loudspeaker blared. "The eleven o'clock train from Appaloosa..."

"Finally!" the orange mare breathed. "It's about time!"

"...will be delayed another ninety minutes due to unforseen circumstances," the announcement finished.

"Aw, come on!" Applejack yelled and threw her hat down.

"Once again, the eleven o'clock train from Appaloosa will be delayed another ninety minutes," the loudspeaker repeated. "That is all."

"Yah, yah, we heard ya the first time!" she yelled in the direction of the announcement as she dusted off her hat and put it back on.

"AJ, chill out," Cash said again. "It'll get here when it gets here. No sense in getting all worked up over a train running late."

"Easy for you ta say!" Applejack said. "This is mah livelihood we're talkin' 'bout! That tractor could make or break the Apple family. Ah don't see how you ain't worried, 'cause ya could be makin' some big money today."

"That's true, I could be," Cash reasoned. "But the way I see it, whether or not this train comes in or we make the sale, I've got a great business in town that's making me some money right now."

"Really, Cash?" she asked. "'Cause Ah got three words for ya: Derpy...Hooves...unsupervised."

Cash was silent for a moment. Then he started tapping his hoof against the floor. A few seconds later both he and Applejack were pacing the platform again. "Aw, crabapples," he muttered to himself. "When's that buckin' train going to hurry up and get here?"

Back in the shop, Old Money had decided to put down his cards and make an appearance at the counters. He shuffled about from counter to counter, asking other ponies if they needed any assistance and lending a hoof to the other brokers. A short while later an old donkey with a tall blonde hairdo wearing dusty saddlebags shuffled into the shop. He saw Old Money standing behind one of the counters and walked up to him.

"Hey, old-timer," he greeted.

"Hey yourself, you old geezer," the pawnbroker responded.

The name's Cranky, Cranky Doodle Donkey, he introduced himself during an on-camera interview. I'm kind of the resident picker in Ponyville. I've been all over Equestria rummagin' through yard sales and backwoods ponies properties, lookin' for those rare and unusual relics most ponies have forgotten about. I do collect quite a bit for myself and from time to time I've got to do some cleanin' house. Sometimes I'll trade with or sell to other collectors, and occasionally - when I'm in as good of a mood as I am now - I'll bring something for my friend Old Money to see.

Cranky and I have quite a bit in common, Old Money said in his on-camera interview. We're both old, crusty and grumpy to start with, but we've also got the same interest in antiques. I like it when he brings something in because I know it'll be something I'll want to buy either for the shop or for myself.

"What've you got for me today, Cranky?" Old Money asked.

"Oh, just a little knickknack that's been takin' up space on my my mantle," he answered. "You know, the usual."

"Cut the small talk, you dusty mule," the pawnbroker replied. "That's what you say about everything you bring in."

"Alright, alright, keep yer teeth in already," Cranky said as he rummaged through his saddlebags. He pulled out a small and gray metal object and set it down on the counter. "Have a gander at this little beauty."

"What, this tin toy?" Old Money asked incredulously. "I've got a whole mess of 'em over in the next case. I'll give ya a bit for it."

"Oh, Ah don't think so," the mule responded. "Ya better take a closer look at this. Ya might wanna get yer glasses and checkbook before ya do, though."

The gray-haired colt looked closer at the toy and grumbled, "Get my glasses, he says. Get my checkbook, he says. What does he think..." Suddenly, he stopped his vocal train of thought. Then he leaned back and said, "Ya know, Cranky, I don't think we should play cards no more. Because this right here looks like yer ace in the hole."

"Ya got that right," Cranky said proudly. "Ah've been holding onto it for just the right time."

"How did ya find the Colt Brothers Circus seal figure?" Old Money asked.

"Picker's secret, mah friend," the donkey answered. "Picker's secret."

The Colt Brothers circus was one of the biggest shows in Equestria way back in the day, Old Money explained in an on-camera interview. I remember seeing 'em when I was a very young colt. It was an all-earth pony troupe, so no pegasi flyin' on the trapeze or unicorns tamin' the lions. One year, and for just one year, they made a series of twelve pewter figurines they included as prizes with the caramel popcorn they sold at the shows. Over the years I've collected all but one of the figures, and Cranky's got it right in front of me. If I can get this from him, then I can sell the figures as a complete set for way more than what I'm asking individually. Cranky's my friend, but never before have I so much wanted to knock a friend's lights out and just take this thing for myself.

"You know what you got here, right?" Old Money asked.

"The one thing you don't got?" Cranky returned.

"That's exactly what you got," the old pony said. "I bet you've walked by my case of Colt Brothers circus figures dozens of times. I bet you've seen that I got the ringmaster, the lion and lion tamer, the tightrope walker and the eight other pieces I've got but not the performing seal. Now I don't know how a dusty old mule like you was able to find that piece when it's dang near as old as we are, but I'm sure you've got some kind of plan for selling it to me."

"Well, maybe I do and maybe I don't," Cranky said. "Maybe I'm in the right place at the right time with the right item. Maybe I want to sell this prized posession of mine to get some bits to buy a little somethin' for my ladyfriend. Or maybe I'm puttin' this thing in front of you just to watch you squirm."

"All right, you dusty mule, stop toyin' with me," Old Money said with a little exaspiration. "Why don't you just tell me how much you think you'll get for this from me?"

"Oh, I was thinkin' around the tune of...two thousand."

"What?!" Old Money yelled, so loudly he caught the attention of a couple other ponies standing nearby. "You must be off your rocker if you expect to get that much! That's what I'll be selling the whole set for."

"Oh, is that right?" Cranky asked sarcastically. "Well, I guess the price on this will depend on how badly you want it."

I mentioned before that we have a lot in common, Old Money said in another on-camera interview, and that also includes our interest in money. He and I both know what this is worth, and that's gonna make this deal really difficult. As if any of my deals with Cranky are ever easy...

"Look," the old gray colt said, "you and I both know what this is worth. Heck, for all I know you've been holding onto this for months, just waiting for the right time to hit pay dirt. Why don't we just save each other the trouble of bargaining over this? Let me give you one hundred bits for it."

"Are you kidding?" Cranky asked incredulously. "Those other figures are selling for one-fifty apiece, and I know that once you get this one you'll be jacking up your prices on the entire set. I'll tell you what: I'll sell this one to you for just five hundred bits. No messin' around this time."

"I don't think so," Old Money returned. "I'll go two hundred on it."

"If you're willing to go two hundred, then you'll probably go four hundred."

"I'll go two-fifty and not a single bit more," Old Money said firmly. "Take it and I won't knock your block off."

Cranky stood silently for a moment, as if he were contemplating whether or not the continued bargaining was worth a hoof to the face. Then he said, "All right, fine. Two-fifty it is."

The two shook hooves. "Pleasure doing business with you," the pawnbroker said. "You and the other old folks up for a game of cards tonight?"

"Nine o'clock at my place, old-timer," the mule replied. "You bringing the hard cider?"

"Well, since you're selling me this fine collector's item I suppose I could swing by Sweet Apple Acres and sweet talk Granny Smith into selling me a little of her hooch," Old Money said. "One of these days you better start ponying up the bits for it."

"Sure thing," Cranky said, "as soon as you start winning a few games."

"All right, wise guy, let's go write this up already before I toss ya outta here."

Getting a sale out of Cranky always pays off for me in the end, Old Money said in another on-camera interview. Now some big-shot collecter outta Canterlot or someplace will see this complete collection and pay top-bit for it. My card game might not be as good as my selling game, but with the kind of business pickers like Cranky bring in for me I can always afford to lose a little money playing cards.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Ponyville, a whistle blew as the Appaloosa train finally thundered into the Ponyville station. Applejack and Cash waited anxiously as the long locomotive slowed itself to a halt and let off hissing steam.

So finally, finally, the train from Appaloosa arrives, Cash said in an on-camera interview set at the train station. AJ and I have been on pins and needles for hours now waiting for it to show up. All we've got to do now is find those mechanics and get a look at their tractor, which will hopefully be a good investment for both me and AJ. If it's worth our time, then I could be making some big money today.

"Do ya see 'em, Cash?" Applejack asked as she searched the faces of the ponies leaving the cars. "'Cause ta be honest, Ah don't know what these fellas look like. Ya think we should start askin' some of these ponies if they've seen 'em?"

Cash nudged her with a front hoof then and pointed. "I think we should start with those two," he said, motioning toward two ponies wearing grease-stained blue coveralls. One of them, a tall and heavyset orange colt with a brown mane, was being yelled at by a much smaller green colt with a black mane.

"Doggone it, Cog!" the green one shouted as he stomped his front hoof. "Your stunt at the last stop set us back way too long! At this rate it'll be after dark when we get to Canterlot!"

"I apologize once again, Sprocket, my fellow technician," the one called Cog replied, "but I was merely inspecting the integrity of the tie-downs upon our machinery."

"But while the train was moving?!" The one called Sprocket yelled again. "You're lucky the conducter saw you crawlin' all over our tractor when he did and pulled the e-brake before you got yourself killed! You should have seen the dirty looks on the passengers' faces when they saw that the thunderhead who set back their travel plans was with me!"

"Well, I only figured that..."

"Uh, excuse me, y'all," Applejack politely interrupted as she and Cash walked up to them, "but Ah think Ah overheard y'all talkin' about a tractor just now. Would ya happen ta be the mechanics sellin' the steam tractor we've heard 'bout?"

Spocket turned his attention toward her and answered in a much friendlier tone, "Well, young lady, as a matter of fact we are. Why might you be asking?"

"Well, hot dog!" she exclaimed. "We've been waitin' all day for ya ta get here! Ah'd like to see if Ah can buy it offa ya!"

The green colt smiled, looked at his friend and said, "Well, Cog, it looks like we might not need to head on to Canterlot after all. That is, as long as their money's good."

"Oh, our money's good," Cash piped up, "as long as the tractor's good."

"You'll see here in a minute," Sprocket answered. "I'm Sprocket, by the way. The big one with me here is Cog."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintence on this fine afternoon," Cog said.

"Say what now?" Applejack asked.

"Forgive my friend here," Sprocket explained. "I got him a word-of-the-day calender a few months back and he went through the whole thing in a week. Now he spouts off all these big words I still don't think he knows the full meaning of. A little annoying, but he's still a good mechanic."

"Well, Ah'm Applejack, and this is Cash Money, mah broker," she introduced themselves.

"Cash Money, huh?" Sprocket asked. "Well, with a name like that, you must be a big spender."

"Oh, you'll see," Cash answered. "Can we see the tractor now?"

"Sure thing, follow us," Sprocket said as they all walked toward the rear of the train. After they passed several passenger cars, they came upon a flatbed car with a large, four-wheeled machine tied down upon it. "There she is. Feel free to look her over and ask us any questions y'all might have for us."

Cash and Applejack walked around and inspected the tractor, which sort of resembled a stripped-down, snub-nosed locomotive. The wheels were wooden with iron rims and rivits around it. Atop its smaller front wheels was a large steel boiler with a slender circular chimney at the front of it. On the side of the tractor, a set of slide-out steps lead up to the driver's seat, which was situated between the furnace in the front and a small coal and wood bin in the back. A small steering wheel and a few brass levers protruded up from the floor in the cab, which allowed just enough space for a medium-sized pony to sit and work the controls.

As they walked around the tractor out of Sprocket and Cog's sight, Cash asked Applejack, "Well, AJ, what do you think?"

"Ah think Ah like what Ah'm seein' here," she answered. "It looks pretty darn solid to me, and it'll be perfect for gettin' jobs done on Sweet Apple Acres. As long as ya think she's sound, Ah want her."

"Yeah, I can't see any problems with it as far as I can tell," Cash said. "I think you should go for it. How much money do you have to play around with?"

"About eight thousand."

"Okay," the pawnbroker said as he paused to do a little mental math. "That means if you figure in my broker's fee, the most you can expect to offer for it today is about seven thousand. That's going to be a little tough, AJ, but I'll work 'em and see how low I can get their price down."

"All right," Applejack said as they walked back around into the mechanics' view.

"Well," Sprocket asked them, "what do y'all think of her?"

"I'm seeing a few dings and stratches on the boiler and the wheels here," Cash remarked. "How long has this tractor been used?"

"It's been gently used the last few years by our Appaloosa clients who rented it for work on their fields," Cog said. "It's hardly seen any use this last year, but Sprocket and I have conducted preventative maintenance on it for as long as we've had it."

"Uh huh," Cash muttered as he continued looking it over. "So why are you guys selling it?"

"Nopony's needed it, plain and simple," Sprocket answered. "The apple orchards are taking up all the fertile land in those parts, and that ain't much. Now the only dirt left to plow is full of rocks, which is way to hard on this machine. The farmers there are managing the land just fine without it, so every month we hold onto this thing we're losing money just maintaining it. We'd like to hopefully sell it and use the profits to set up a new shop someplace."

"I see," Cash said as he finished looking over the tractor and turned his attention back to the mechanics. "So how much do you want for it?"

"We believe ten thousand bits is a sufficient sum for the machinery," Cog answered.

Cash looked at them with one lifted eyebrow and responded, "Seriously? Because what I'm looking at here is only worth about five-and-a-half."

"Five-and-a-half?" Sprocket returned in a raised voice. "Sir, I'll remind you that in spite of its age, this tractor has been expertly maintained by two of the best mechanics in all Equestria. What you're seeing is a real cream puff of a machine. We've babied this thing for years."

"Guys, I hear what you're saying," Cash reasoned, "but let's face it: what you're trying to sell me here is a used tractor."

"That may be correct," Cog said. "However, I believe what you fail to realize is that following the point of sale my associate and I will become the sole proprietors of the steam-driven repair and replacement venture in this region."

"Pardon?" Applejack asked quizzically.

"Oh for crying out loud, Cog, cut it out!" Sprocket yelled. He looked at the orange mare and clarified, "He means we'll be the one place in town that'll fix this tractor once you buy it. Unless you already have a steam mechanic or two hiding out in these parts."

"Well, ya got us there," she conceded.

"Listen," Sprocket continued, "we'd like to sell you this tractor so you could take it off of our hooves. We had no use for it in Appaloosa, and got no use for it here. But you got to make this worth our while so we can start up our repair shop here and give you the service and parts you'll need for this fine machine. Help us help you, know what I mean?"

"Oh, I gotcha," Applejack said.

"I see where you're coming from," Cash agreed. "But just how much of our help do you think you need, if you know what I mean?"

"Aw, I reckon," Cog spoke up, "it'll take 'bout nine thousand bits of assistance to set us up nice here in Ponyville."

"Well, hey," Cash bargained, "if nine thousand will set you up nice, then sixty-five hundred should set you up decent."

"It would," Sprocket said, "if you want a repair shop in your town with no tools. Eight thousand will get you the shop and the tools."

"Seven thousand," Cash said firmly. "I won't go no higher."

"Is that right?" Cog asked. "Well, it would seem that we are at an impasse. Perhaps we should consider departing for a new port-of-call, Sprocket. I'm sure the pockets in Canterlot are deeper than this..."

"Wait!" Applejack interjected. "Let me speak to mah broker for a moment here."

"Take your time," Sprocket said. "We ain't going nowhere...yet."

Applejack and Cash trotted several steps away from the mechanics. "Cash," AJ whispered, "these ponies are really playin' hardball, but Ah need that tractor!"

"I hear you, AJ," he whispered back, "but they're not going to bite for seven thousand. It'll take at least seven-and-a-half, which you don't have if I recall."

"Ah know! Is there anything ya could do? Any ideas?"

"I've got one idea," Cash said. "I could open up a loan for you. For whatever price I can get this tractor at, I'll include the broker's fee and you just need to make a down payment later today. I'll even make the loan interest-free, just for you. Think you could swing it?"

"Ah think so," she thought aloud. "Later on today Ah can bring ya the down payment, then Ah figure it'll take a few weeks at the market ta pay the rest."

"You can take as long as you want paying it off," he assured. "As long as you can pay something on it every month we'll be square. Sound good?"

"Sounds good!" Applejack said, smiling. "Now let's go buy us that tractor!"

The two walked back to the waiting mechanics. Cash looked at them and said, "She and I talked and we're willing to go seven-and-a-half. Take it or leave it."

Applejack looked at Cash with wide, concerned eyes but said nothing. Sprocket nodded, looked down at his hooves for a moment, then looked up at Cog and asked, "What do you think?"

Cog looked down at Sprocket and replied, "Know what I think? I think I've had enough of this locomotion traveling. I'm so nauseated that if I keep looking at the scrolling landscape I just might vomit..."

"All right, I get it!" the furious little green mechanic pony exclaimed. "You're sick of the train! We're trying to sell the steam tractor here! Is that a yes?"

Cog nodded. "That's a yes."

"It's a deal, then," Cash said. "Seventy-five hundred it is." The mechanics took turns shaking hooves with the pawnbroker and the country mare.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Sprocket said. "Now we gotta get this big hunk of metal off the flatbed. Help us loosen the tie-downs and I'll drive it off the train. Where's it going to?"

"My shop, on the other side of town," Cash replied.

"All right, lead the way and we'll help you get it there," Sprocket said as he looked at Cash and Applejack. "Either of ya'll want to try out driving this thing on the way?"

"Do Ah ever!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Yeah, you bet!" Cash echoed. He looked at her and said, "Dibs on driving it first."

"Nuh uh, ain't no way! It's mah tractor, Ah'm driving it first!"

"Sorry, AJ, but it's mine until you pay your loan. That's the deal."

"Aw, shucks," Applejack said. "Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go help 'em unload it."

I'm pretty happy with how the deal turned out, Cash said in an on-camera interview. In a few weeks, Applejack will have herself a tractor and I'll be another seven hundred and fifty bits richer. Plus, I get to drive a steam machine back to my shop. How cool is that?

Later that afternoon in the shop, Big Hoss was furiously scraping the burnt words on the display case with a block of sandpaper. He stopped to wipe a little sweat off of his brow when he heard the loud clattering of machinery and hissing steam sounds outside of the shop.

"Oh, no," Hoss muttered to himself. "Whatever that sound is, it better not break the windows...again."

After several minutes, the noises stopped. Soon Cash walked up to the front door, where he asked the security pony, "Hey, Tony, you want to help me with something?"

"Sure thing, boss," Tony replied, and he followed Cash into the shop.

The two of them walked toward the back and stopped in front of Hoss. Cash smiled and said to him, "Guess what I just bought."

"The tractor?"

"Yep," Cash replied. "Applejack's going to the farm to get her down payment on the loan we're starting on it. I need you to help Tony carry out seven-and-a-half thousand bits to the mechanics I bought it from. They're waiting outside."

"Sure thing," Hoss said. He sniffed the air around his sire and remarked, "Pops, you stink like smoke. Did you set yourself on fire out there?"

"Ha ha, funny colt," Cash said. "I drove the tractor part of the way here."

"Where was the driver's seat, in the furnace?"

"Yeah, you're jealous 'cause you didn't get to drive a steam machine around," the pawnbroker remarked. His vision then shifted from Hoss to the display case. He looked at the case, narrowed his eyes and asked, "Who's a 'dear princess?'"

"Oh, that? Some colt came in messing around and wrote that there," Hoss said defensively.

"Wrote it?" Cash looked closely at the words. "It looks like these words were burnt onto the wood. How did that happen?"

"Well, um..."

"Hey, boss," Tony piped up, "aren't those mechanics waiting for their money?"

"Yeah, they are. Thanks, Tony," Cash said. "Hoss, I'll get back to you and this case thing later. You go and help Tony while I go and wash this stink off of my coat."

"Yeah, Pops." Hoss said as he and Tony walked toward the back room to count out and bag up the payment for the tractor.

Some time later, Cash came out of the back washroom. He walked toward the front of the shop, where found Big Hoss and Derpy standing behind one of the counters and walked up to them.

"Much better," Hoss remarked as he sniffed the air again.

"Still jealous," Cash said. "Now about that display case..."

"Hold up, Pops, we've got a customer here," Hoss interrupted. He motioned to a snow-white pegasus mare with an aquamarine mane and flight goggles above her eyes on the other side of the counter. "Can you take this? I've got a, uh, thing to do." He quickly trotted off and left Cash and Derpy to help the customer.

"A thing?" Derpy asked. "What kind of a thing? I like things."

"Never mind, Derpy," Cash said as he turned his attention to the customer. "Sorry about that. What can we do for you?"

"Not a problem," the mare remarked. She rifled through her saddlebag, which was emblazoned with her cyclone cutie mark, and pulled out a heavy golden trophy. "I'll bet that you've never seen one of these in here before!" she declared as she put it down upon the counter.

Cash looked at the piece of metal shaped into a tornado and said, "Well, I can say this is the first time I've had..."

"A Breezy!" Derpy interrupted. "Awesome!"

"In my store before," he finished.

I've heard a little bit about the Breezy Awards from a couple pegasi I know, Cash said in an on-camera interview. They're given out to weatherponies who demonstrate excellence in manipulating the weather while serving the meteorological needs of all Equestria. They're a really big deal up in Cloudsdale and down here on terra firma. I'm interested in knowing why somepony would want to part with something as special as this, though...

"Wow, this is awesome!" Derpy exclaimed as she admired the award. "I was up for one of these once, you know: best electrical storm!"

"Really?" Cash asked. "Why didn't you win?"

"Oh, well, the committee's official ruling had something to do with 'excessive collateral damage' or something like that..."

"I think you got snubbed, Derpy," Cash said as he took a closer look at the trophy. He read aloud the inscription on the base, "'Best Rainstorm Control, Emerald Storm.' Is that you?"

"Yep!" Emerald answered proudly. "I about flew my flank off last year keeping a huge Baltimare rainstorm in line. Outlying farmers needed the water for the crops, but the city-folk didn't want their precious sunny day spoiled. They said the job was too big for just one pony, but I did it!"

"So if you're so proud of this award, why are you selling it?"

"Actually," she clarified, "I just want to pawn it today. I've been working in a, um, really far-off land for several months now and I'm about to take my first vacation in a whole year to Las Pegasus. I'm just looking for about five hundred bits to play around with while I'm there."

"Is that right?" Cash asked as he looked over the award some more. He stopped to look at Emerald and said, "Well, this is definitely something I'm interested in holding onto for you. I'm just not quite as knowledgable with pegasus-related items like this as I'd like to be." He turned to look at Derpy and started to ask, "Hey, Derpy, do you..."

"I'm on it, boss!" Derpy interrupted as she gave a guffawed salute, jumped into the air and shot out of the pawn shop.

"Huh," Cash said as he looked at Emerald. "She probably took off looking for one of the experts I usually call in, but I was just going to ask her about this award. I mean, she is a pegasus."

Emerald shrugged and said, "Well, at least she's motivated."

About fifteen minutes later, Derpy flew back into the shop and declared, "All right, everypony, you know the drill! Go ahead and stand on or hold down anything that could get blown away..."

Her warning was cut off by the rainbow-colored pegasus who flew past her and sent her spinning like a top. The blur flew right up to Cash and Emerald and stopped in midair.. "So, you've got a Breezy, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked before she took off and flew a lap around the shop that sent all kinds of papers flying. Dash stopped back in front of them. "How's that for breezy?"

"Yeah, real breezy. Thanks, Dash," Cash said as he scooped up some of the paperwork. As he did he muttered to himself, "That joke could have gone in a couple different directions..."

Next to the door, Derpy finally stopped spinning. She wobbled about for a minute and muttered, "I'll have the Applejack muffins please, apple cobbler," before she fell flat on her face.

Rainbow Dash is my name, and awesome is my game! she declared as she hovered in front of the camera outside of the shop for her interview. Cash will call me in here to ask about the pegasus stuff that he gets from time to time. Because you know, not everypony can have their head as high up in the clouds as me.

"So what can I do for ya?" Dash asked as she floated down and planted her hooves upon the floor.

"Well, Dash, to tell you the truth I didn't really send for you," Cash started explaining. "Derpy kind of assumed I needed your help on this..."

"What?" She interrupted and stomped her hoof. "Are you kidding me? That dippy mare got me up from my cloud nap for nothing? Oh, where is she? When I find her..."

"But as long as you are here," Cash said as he slid Emerald Storm's breezy on the counter toward Dash, "perhaps you wouldn't mind sharing a little insight on this?"

Dash stopped ranting as her eye caught sight of the gleaming award. "Oh, awesome! A Breezy!" she exclaimed and started to get excited. A moment later she composed herself and continued, "I mean, oh, a Breezy. Pretty cool, I guess. A totally political award, but whatever. Is this yours?" She asked Emerald.

"Sure is," Emerald answered. "And by the way, Dash, I'm glad to finally meet you face-to-face! I've heard so much about you."

"Yeah," she answered smugly, "I'm pretty radical. But you know, I think I remember that rainstorm last year in Baltimare. That was a pretty dicey situation which you apparently handled really well, so great job on that!"

"Thanks!"

"So this Breezy is a pretty well-respected accolade, right Dash?" Cash asked.

"Oh yeah, this is a serious award," Dash said. "Not just anypony can earn one of these. You have to be the very best at what you do, and even then you might not earn it because somepony else might do something super exceptional. There's a whole committee of pegasi in Cloudsdale that gets all the personal submissions and reccomendations for the Breezys. Literally hundreds of pegasi go in for this award every year."

"So Dash, with all the great work you've pulled off, I'm sure you've got a couple of these," Cash assumed.

"Pfft, are you kidding?" She scoffed. "The stuff I do goes way off the Breezy charts in terms of awesomeness!"

Everypony was silent for a moment, as if they were expecting Rainbow Dash to give an example of her award-winning work. Cash broke the silence by saying, "Um, Dash? Do you actually have one of these?"

"Well, uh," Rainbow Dash started, then sighed. "No."

"Really? Not one?"

"Nope, not one," she repeated. "I've never really had my year to earn one, I guess."

"That's really surprising," Cash remarked. "Shouldn't you have got one last year when you and your flyers had to bring the water supply to Cloudsdale? If I remember right, a whole bunch of your flyers were out sick and you almost didn't make it. Weren't you recognized for that?"

"Actually," she clarified, "the real hero that day was Fluttershy. She stepped up and made the tornado happen, so..."

"So...oh," he said in realization. Then he started to ask, "Does she..."

"Yep," Dash replied simply.

"For that?"

"Yep."

"And you don't?"

"That's right."

"Wow," Cash breathed. "Sorry, Dash. I thought maybe you were a shoe-in for that one."

"Eh, no worries," Dash said. "She deserved it. Besides, not everypony needs one of these to know how awesome they are at what they do."

"That's true," he said. "So back to Emerald's Breezy here. Is there any way you could put some kind of monetary value on this award?"

"Well, that's the thing," Dash reasoned. "It's hard to put a price on the prestige that comes with earning a Breezy. You can't just go off of what the metal on this thing is worth. It's like trying to put a price tag on awesome. You just can't do it!"

"I hear you," Cash said. He extended his hoof to shake hers and said, "Thanks for coming in, Dash."

"No prob. And now I can get back to my cloud nap!" Dash turned to look at Emerald and said, "Good meeting you, Emerald, I'm sure I'll catch up with you again later."

"Thanks, you too! See ya!" Emerald called after the rainbow blur as she whooshed out of the shop.

"Okay, Emerald," Cash said. "If it's still okay with you, I'll give you the five hundred-bit loan you asked for with this. I'm just giving you the fair warning that you better be ready to pay it back with interest in time. Because if you don't, I'll start selling this in my shop. If you want it back then, you'll have to pay about ten times the price for it."

"You know," she said, "I was kind of thinking about that. I think I'd feel better about getting just half that, you know? Las Pegasus will still be fun with that much money to play with, and I want to make sure I can get my award back when I return. Is that okay?"

"Of course," the pawnbroker replied. "We can do two-fifty, or whatever you're comfortable with."

The pegasus nodded. "Yeah, let's do two-fifty."

"All right," Cash said as they shook hooves. "Let's go write this up."

I'll loan anypony however much they want for a pawn loan, Cash said in another on-camera interview. In any case, I'm the one making money. It's good to see somepony who knows how to stay within their means, which I think Emerald did today.

It was nearly the end of the day shift when Applejack walked back into the shop wearing a heavy set of saddlebags. She went straight to the back of the shop, where Cash was at his desk doing paperwork and closing out some of the day's business. He saw her approach the counter and he got up to help her.

"You got your down payment?" He asked as he walked to the counter.

"You betcha," Applejack answered.

"Great," Cash returned. "Let's run it through the coin counter over here." He motioned to a large brass appliance with a funnel at the top and sets of cylinders at the bottom. Cash pumped a lever on the back with his hoof a few times and made the machine start to click. Then he looked at the orange mare and said, "Go ahead and dump 'em on in."

Applejack opened her saddlebags and one-by-one poured the contents of several smaller bags into the funnel. The machine clicked and ticked over and over as coins filled the cylinders underneath. As the sets of cylinders were filled, Cash removed them from the machine and dumped them into his own bags that he set on the floor on his side of the counter. When all of Applejack's coins were put in, Cash took out some paperwork and made the final count.

"Alrighty then," he said as he read a set of dials on the back of the coin counter. "Your loan is for eight thousand, two hundred and fifty bits. You brought in eight thousand and twenty-one, which means you still owe me two hundred and twenty-nine bits."

"Shoot, Ah should have that after the next two market days, three if it's slow goin'," Applejack said.

"Okay," Cash said before he picked up a quill in his mouth and made some notations on her paperwork. He put it down and continued, "So let's plan to have your next payment in about a month from now. If you pay it off then, great, and if not you can pay me again in another month. Sound good?"

"Sounds good!" Applejack agreed. "Ya better have that wood an' coal stocked up, 'cause I'm gettin' mah tractor in a month."

"I'll make sure it's piled high when you pay it off," Cash said.

"An' hey, Cash, thanks again for helpin' me out today," she said. "The family an' Ah really appreciate it."

"You bet, AJ."

"Well, y'all have a good night!" Applejack called as the turned to leave the shop.

"Thanks, you too!" Cash called after her. As she went out the door, he called to Tony, "All right, Tony, let's go ahead and lock it up."

"You got it, boss," Tony called back.

Cash scooped up the paperwork on the counter in a pile, then took it in his mouth over to his desk. He set it down with the rest of the day's purchases and started working through them. As he did, Big Hoss walked into the back office.

"Hey, Pops," he said as he sat down at his desk to work on a set of paperwork at his desk.

"Hey, son," Cash replied, not bothering to look up. "Saw that you got the high-value item count done for me today, thanks for that."

"Uh huh."

"Looks like you made some great purchases today, too."

"Eeyup."

"And those burnt words came out good with the sandpaper, huh?

"They sure did," Hoss said. He paused for a second and started again, "I mean, um..."

"Busted," Cash said. "I just saw the invoice from the phoenix quill you bought off of Spike. You let him test it on the case, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Sorry, Pops."

"Next time, don't be so lazy and go get a piece of wood from the back, you know? I don't have money to waste on cases that keep breaking for one reason or another, you know."

"Sure, sure," Hoss said. He looked around the office and remarked, "It's just the two of us here? Where's Gramps?"

"Left early to go play cards at Cranky's."

"And what about Derpy?"

"Derpy?" Cash asked. "I thought she was with you."

Meanwhile in the back inventory room, Derpy was sweeping up. As she worked along a wall of shelves, she held the broom in her teeth as she swept the dust bunnies around the floor while simultaneously using her feathery wings to dust off the items on the shelf. She continued to sweep as she made her way to the pawn inventory, where a shiny object on one of the top shelves a few heads above her caught her eye. Derpy stopped what she was doing and took a closer look at the golden cyclone set upon its small wooden pedestel. She let the broom drop from her mouth as she breathed, "Ooh, Breezy..."

Derpy glanced around the room, as if to see if anypony was in the room with her. Then she flapped her wings and floated up to the shelf, where she gingerly picked up the award in her front hooves. She floated back down and set it upon a nearby stack of boxes. She looked to her left and right again to make sure she was alone, then walked a few paces away from the boxes.

"And now, ladies and gentlecolts," Derpy announced in an awards emcee voice, "the Breezy for the all-time, Equestria's greatest, most awesomest pegasus pawnbroker ever goes to...Derpy Hooves!"

She trotted back behind her makeshift podium and said to her imaginary audience, "Oh thank you, thank you so much!" Derpy picked up the Breezy in her front hooves, grinning and admiring it with her askew eyes. "My goodness, everypony! I never in all my days would have expected to win this amazing award! Oh, there are so many ponies out there who without their help I don't think I'd be up here tonight. First of all, I'd like to thank my sweet little Dinky Doo for being such a great little filly and inspiring me to be all that I can be! I love you, honey! I'd also like to thank everypony at the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop for everything they've done for me: Cash Money for being a great boss, and Old Money for not being so grouchy with me when I drop stuff, and Big Hoss for..."

"For telling you to stop horsing around?" Big Hoss's voice interrupted Derpy's speech as he stepped from the hallway into the room.

Derpy jumped and nearly dropped the statuette, but kept it in her hooves. She flew up to the shelf where she got it, put it back and floated back down. "Um, yeah," she said sheepishly. "For that. Sorry."

Hoss shook his head. "Come on, Derpy," he said. "Stop playing in the pawn inventory. I thought I put that where you couldn't find it."

"Never underestimate a pegasus, boss Hoss!" she replied, flapping her wings a couple times.

Hoss sighed and said, "Come on, we're all closed up. So unless you want to work the window on the night shift, I suggest we get outta here." Derpy nodded, and the two of them started walking out of the room. As they did, he turned to her and said, "Oh, and for the record, if you do win a Breezy, I better be the first of your co-workers who you thank. Because my dad's not awesome, I am."

"You got it, boss Hoss!"