Princess Rainbow Dash's Family Fun
Rainbow Dash’s childhood home was a sprawling villa perched atop of cumulonimbus, typical for the Cloudsdale suburbs. From the broad central courtyard it was possible to see into, and in a few cases through, almost every room in the house. That left Rainbow Dash very few locations to hide after making her pronouncement.
“Rainbow Dash!”
A pair of blue missiles exploded from the living room and homed in on Rainbow Dash, who had barely spread her wings when the twins slammed into her barrel. The trio went tumbling over backwards, just avoiding the central fountain, and hit the ground with a whumph of displaced cloud.
“Ack! Help, regicide!” Rainbow exclaimed, pinned beneath the foals.
“Regicide?” Blue Bolt frowned at his sister from his perch on her haunch.
“Hey, she’s got a horn!” Blue Arrow rapped his hoof against Rainbow’s horn, making the alicorn wince. “And it's not made of wood this time!”
“Wingus, Dingus,” Rainbow Dash said, blowing her mane out of her eyes. She didn’t bother trying to get their names right; both had sky-blue coats, azure manes and near identical cutie-marks. Telling them apart was something only their mother could do. “Would you mind letting me breathe?”
The twins shared a malicious grin. “I don’t know—” Bolt began.
“—what’s it worth to you?” Arrow finished.
Rainbow glared at them for a moment. “Dad!” she yelled. “They’re doing the creepy twin thing again.”
From his usual seat in the living room Blaze looked over his newspaper. “Play nice, boys!”
As usual, the twins ignored him and their grins widened.
“Urgh, why did I think that would help?” Rainbow muttered to herself. “Okay, this has stopped being funny.”
Rainbow bunched her wings and with a titanic heave flipped back onto her hooves. Bolt and Arrow went tumbling away laughing and Rainbow Dash fluttered back to the ground. She had less than a second to compose herself before the second volley arrived.
“Rainbow!” Spectral Glider exclaimed. He made a flying leap at Rainbow Dash who just managed to get her hooves around the foal in time and turn the tackle into a hug. Luckily for the pair of them Spectral was a few years younger than the twins. Although Rainbow was forced back a step, they didn’t end up in the rainbow fountain.
“Heya, Squirt,” she said, ruffling her little brother’s mane. “Yeash, you’re getting heavy. You must be about ready for a cutie-mark now.”
Spectral pouted as Rainbow lowered him to the floor. The baby of the family, Spectral had the same wiry build as his older sister and rainbow mane, though his colours were far less vivid. “That’s what I’ve been saying.” He shook himself out of his funk in under a second. “But what happened to you? You’re a Princess.”
“Yep, you are looking at the most radical Princess—and future Wonderbolt—in all of Equestria,” Rainbow Dash declared, puffing out her chest. “You might want to get a photo for posterity.”
“Who’s Posterity?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Eh, I don’t know. Somepony who collects photos I guess.”
“Ahem.” Firefly cleared her throat pointedly as she strode towards Rainbow Dash. Her foals scrambled out of her way. “If I might interrupt. What have you done this time, Rainbow Dash?”
“Geeze, Mom, I thought you’d at least be a little excited.” Rainbow Dash buffed her hoof on her barrel. “I mean, your favourite daughter is now the ‘Princess of Awesome’, after all.” She shot a wide grin at her brothers who beamed back.
Firefly did not share the moment. “Right... And how exactly did this happen?” she pressed, looming over her daughter. Rainbow seemed to have gained half an inch over her but Firefly was never one to let things like that get in the way of parental authority. “Have you usurped Celestia’s mantle?”
Rainbow Dash made a face. “Urgh, no. That’d be evil.”
“Did you read from an ancient and forbidden book,” she continued.
“No.”
“Did you make a deal with Discord?”
“No.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I’m not stupid enough to do that twice.”
“Find an artifact of unholy and terrible power and try to wear it as a hat?”
“No!” Rainbow spread her wings. “Look I know you don’t trust me to–” She paused, frowning. “Wait... Okay, actually it was that second one. But it wasn’t like the book was forbidden and evil! It was the same dumb book Twilight used to get her wings.”
“Wait, so she’s actually a Princess?” Bolt cut in, leaping into the air and hovering next to Rainbow Dash’s head as he peered at her horn. “Does that make us royalty?”
“I think Rainbow Dash is just an alicorn for now,” Firefly replied, icily. “Unless our invitation to your coronation got lost in the mail?”
“Urgh, one Birthaversary in Ponyville and you never let me hear the end of it.” Rainbow sighed. “But yeah I’m an alicorn now. The most awesome kind of pony there is. With the speed of a pegasus—” She flexed her wings. “—The magic of a unicorn—” She tapped a hoof against her horn. “—And the... um, ability to grow basic fruits and vegetables of an earth pony? Okay, that last one needs work.”
“Awesome!” Bolt rounded on his brother. “We are going to be royalty!”
“Why, I always knew it to be true, dear Arrow,” Arrow said, affecting the poshest accent he could muster. “Nopony could ever match the soapistication of our family.”
“Quite so, my good Bolt,” Bolt replied, turning his nose up high enough to put any Canterlot socialite to shame.
“Did they just switch names again?” Rainbow Dash asked Firefly. Her mother shrugged. “Eh whatever. I’ll make sure that you two go down as Princes Wingus and Dingus.”
“What? No!” the twins exclaimed, whirling.
“Mom, tell her she can’t do that!”
“Summer Belle would never speak to us again!”
“Nopony is changing anypony’s names,” Firefly snapped, pressing a hoof against her head. “Rainbow Dash, please don’t tease them. I’ve got to get them to school in a few minutes.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Fine, though I’m saving the Summer Belle thing to tease them about later. Still...” She tapped her chin with a forehoof. “Maybe now that I’m a Princess I can close school. How does that sound, brats?”
“You can close school?” Spectral exclaimed, lifting off the ground as he buzzed his wings in excitement. “Best Princess ever!”
Firefly stamped her hoof. “No, she can not close school. Boys, go eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”
“Uh, no I could totally close school.” Rainbow Dash flashed a cocky grin, stepping between Firefly and the boys. “Royal prerogative and all that.”
Firefly put a wing over her daughter’s back and dragged her back into line. “No you couldn’t, dear. Cloudsdale is an allied city state ruled by a steering council.” Her eyes narrowed. “As you would have learned if you’d ever paid any attention in school.”
“Urgh again with the school thing.” Rainbow Dash dragged her hooves down her face. “Come on, Mom, I’m freaking royalty now. is that really something you’re going to keep aloft?”
“I’m trying to look out for you, dearest,” Firefly replied, with a cold smile. “One of us has to look out for your well-being after all.”
“Uh oh,” Bolt said, his eyes shifting between the two mares. “Here they go again.”
“I am more than capable of looking after myself, you know,” Rainbow shot back, bristling.
“Oh yes, I forgot. How are you doing as a small town cloudpusher?”
Rainbow Dash jabbed a hoof at her horn. “Pretty well actually! Why is it you always get on my case about friggin’ school no matter what I do? It was six years ago.”
“I don’t know, why do you always bring up how good a decision you made?” Firefly shot back. “Perhaps you’ve noticed at last that a pony needs to know more than how to fly fast and nearly break her neck every other week.”
“I’ll have you know the Wonderbolts think that my flying is the best thing they’ve ever seen.” Dash tossed her head. “And I haven’t broken a bone in three months.”
“Uh, Dad!” Arrow called over his shoulder. “We might need you to step in over here!”
“Oh yes, let's also talk about your remarkable safety record. But first, when were you planning to tell me about the brainwashing incident with Starlight Glimmer?”
“I was–” Rainbow Dash paused, blinking. “Wait, how did you even hear about that?”
“I have tea with Fluttershy’s mother every Wednesday,” Firefly explained, waving the issue off. “It’s the only way I can actually hear what happens to you girls on these little ‘crown adventures’ of yours. Well, save for watching the occasional monster rampaging across the land from the peanut gallery.”
“Well, Fluttershy always oversells these things,” Rainbow muttered, staring at her forehooves. “It was only a little mind magic and– You know what, why am I even defending this? We saved a whole bunch of ponies and everything worked out great, as usual. Maybe, just maybe, I actually have a clue what I’m sticking my nose into.”
“Do you, Rainbow Dash?” Firefly’s eyes narrowed. “So you’ve actually prepared for the fact Celestia may ask you to rule a city like Princess Cadence? You’re ready to fight off kidnappers like Princess Twilight?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Hey, I just said we kicked Starlight’s plot and if she tries anything again I’ll be blasting her with magic lasers. I can handle myself.”
Firefly glowered at her. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Urgh!” Rainbow Dash through up her hooves. “Can’t you just be happy for me for once in my life? I’ve saved the world, like, six times now, I’ve flown with the Wonderbolts and I’m going to be friggin’ coronated in the near future! What do I need to do around here to get a little respect?”
“Come on, Squirt,” Bolt said, grabbing his younger brother who was watching the growing argument with horror. “Back up before they start throwing lightning again.” The trio began to slink away to a safe distance.
“Perhaps if you were capable of showing the slightest amount yourself you’d know,” Firefly snapped.
“Gargh, and you always make it about me!” Rainbow stamped a hoof and an ear-splitting boom of thunder made everypony but her jump. “You know what I think? I think you’re jealous. You can’t stand the idea of me actually having a life! You hate the fact that one of us is out there actually achieving things and you’re stuck on this cloud looking after the brats!”
Utter silence descended between the mares.
“What?” Firefly’s voice was as cold as ice and her glare could cut through steel at ten paces. “What did you say?”
“She’s gonna’ blow!” Bolt and Arrow dived behind a column.
Rainbow Dash paused for half a second or so, as if teetering on the realisation that she had, once again, gone too far. It didn’t stick.
“Yeah, you know what, you are jeal~ous!”
“That’s it!” Firefly roared. “I don’t have to listen to this lip from you young lady, you are grounded!”
“I don’t have to listen to you, I’m royalty!” Rainbow Dash spread her wings wide and crouched for a take-off. “I don’t know why I even came here anymore!” With a wumph of displaced air she pumped her wings and disappeared into the sky, leaving only a shimmering rainbow trail in her wake.
“Hey!” Firefly yelled, spreading her own wings. “Don’t you fly away from me, I wasn’t done yelling at you yet. Get right back here missy and–”
“Honey, she’s gone,” Rainbow Blaze interrupted, pressing up against his wife’s flank.
“Well...” Firefly spluttered for a moment, incoherent with rage. “Well, I’m going right after her and bashing some sense into–”
Blaze put his good wing over her withers and drew her in close. “Firefly, breathe.”
She raised her hoof, and for a moment seemed to seriously consider punching him in the mouth. Then she paused, took a deep breath, and lowered it back onto the cloud. “Urgh...” She hung her head. “Ponyfeathers. I did it again, didn’t I?”
“Well, I’m going to split the blame fifty/fifty on this one.” Blaze said, ignoring Firefly’s scowl. “But really, dear, you’ve got to give Dashie some clear air once in awhile.”
Firefly let out an annoyed huff. “I know, I know. But she’s going to get hurt again.”
Blaze let out a long sigh. “Sometimes to really let them fly, you have to let them crash all on their own. She’ll figure it out.”
There was a sudden rustle of feathers and Rainbow Dash landed hard in front of the couple.
“Yeah! And also, you can’t ground me because I already moved out!” she exclaimed. She was met with baffled silence. “Um... You know, because you said I was grounded... And I’m not going to do it? Okay whatever, bye.”
She spread her wings and leapt back into the air as Firefly facehooved.
Blaze sighed. “I’ll admit, some ponies need a few more knocks to learn than others.”
Oh Rainbow, you already had the last word 
Anyway, sorry for this chapter taking me a while. As it turns out that while its easy to write something funny or write an argument, a funny argument is pretty damn difficult. This chapter was necessary though as it sets up Rainbow's key conflict with her newfound status that being an alicorn doesn't move her towards her goals. As I've mentioned before these stories can quickly become wishfulfillment if you're not careful so it's important to lay this groundwork. That and I really enjoyed writing Rainbow's family 
Now that everything's all set up I'm going to be breaking into a few longer storylines, but first it's question time! Twilight's going to be fielding questions about alicornhood in the next chapter, anyone got any they'd like to add to the list before I wrap it up?
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Typical Dashie...
The way you protrayed RD's family here actually fits with what we've seen in the show.
Of course, people would complain about her having 3 younger brothers that have never been shown before, but I don't mind it.
Rainbow's going to learn that Alicorns can't become Wonderbolts, isn't she? Not due to tribalism, but because they're just too powerful of fliers, like a jet trying to fly formation with a bunch of bi-planes. Granted, she was already threatening to be that much beyond the Wonderbolts, but this'll have pushed her over the edge.
7278316 Something along those lines would probably be the most common thing. I'm personally hoping for a different twist.
Like RD going up to the Wonderbolts expecting to be let in and being told: "Yeah you're an Alicorn. So what? You'll still have to go through the process just the same as everyone else."
Ok...we now know where Rainbow Dash gets both the stubborn mule (not species-ist) attitude and some serious inability to step back and calm down. Also it seems to be a thing ongoing since her foalhood. Makes thing more interesting for sure, but then we have how Rainbow's own goals might have gone up in smoke. As I recall, there is a fic that says WHY Rainbow could never be a Wonderbolt after the whole "Council of Friendship" thing. How she's too valuable and in fact that the Wonderbolt would be in charge of "protecting" her...that angle in my head would go double for her to be an Alicorn. If anything, it would make it all but impossible to be part of the rank and file of the team, let alone part of the Airshows or operations the Wonderbolts might be called upon to do.
All that said, nice to see an interpretation of her family...and now very curious as to who and what is next!
Also, about Alicorn-hood, how goes the teaching about Earth Pony abilities or properties? We've seen flight lessons with Rainbow, but not much on the Earth Pony side. I'd imagine it'd be something to consider.
How about for a question "do we get actual political power and duties or are we going to be twilight 2.0 to 6.0?"
“—And the... um, ability to grow basic fruits and vegetables of an earth pony? Okay, that last one needs work.”
Earth Ponies have super strength super endurance.
Ya know, seeing this after an episode where we get to see Fluttershy's family? Makes me feel like you had a thought like I did once, "this is going to get jossed eventually, so I might as well go wild" I don't think we consciously decide this but it's just something we as writers do. Nice chapter.
I've got a question pertaining to the Earth Pony magic aspect of Alicornhood. Is it just, as Dash so succinctly put it "the... um, ability to grow basic fruits and vegetables", or does it have more varied aspects like the Pie family's geomancy or Pinkie's capillurgy or any other varied traits not directly related to plant growth?
Well, I can see where Dash gets it. This and another fic makes my headcanon as Firefly as Dashie's mother.
Question:Can an alicorn rip a hole in the space time continuum?
I'd like Twilight explain that the others will need to learn a bit of the legal system to know their allowances under law.
Rainbow = "Princess of Awesomeness"
Rarity = "Princess of Fashion"
Applejack = "Princess of Agriculture"
Fluttershy = "Princess of Otaku's"
Pinkie Pie = "Party Princess"
Other Ideas for titles?
All I can think of right now is Cloud Kicker poking her head in to make some innuendo about "enhanced stamina and sensitivity".
I like your take on Rainbow Dash's family (and their reaction to the mother-daughter argument), although I'm wondering what they would think about Scootaloo. Which would probably change based on how you would depict her.
Maybe I'm overthinking this, but Firefly's questions made me wonder about all the adventures she may have lived through before settling with her husband.
Question: Are there any special dietary requirements for alicorn's, or any surprises to be aware of.
Able to eat gems (Hint Hint)
I think it would be interesting to make them able to do something strange like that.
7278524 Nah, only Starlight Glimmer can do that because she's the all-powerful new character who's better at everything but still has problems she deals with to make her seem sympathetic to the audience.
......................
Wait a minute... I seem to recall a rather derogatory trope for such characters...
Ugh, my entire family is just like Firefly in this. Never good enough, never the right decision, never any respect no matter how well you do.
Can't say I blame Rainbow at all; sometimes all you want to do is rub their noses in the fact that they'll never have what you have and all their nitpicking, guilt-tripping bullsh*t only makes them more isolated and lonely.
7278310 To be fair, though, Twilight, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all have siblings we never knew about (although, if you want to be technical, Maud was mentioned in one of the spin-off books before she appeared in the show)
7278805 Exactly.
The fact that it keeps happening, though, is one of the reasons people complain about it.
I like how you did dash's family.
A question for twilight in the alicorn Q and A. I once heard that it was pleasurable for an alicorn to eat rocks. I was wondering if there is any validity to this?
P.S.
(And before you say "What!? That's absurd!" Ask yourself this, have you tried it yourself? We have all seen that the royalty withhold information, perhaps that is among them.) Even if they haven't tried, it's logical that your intestines would be much stronger than a normal pony's would be.
With that I imagine twilight just being completely baffled. Then pinkie just tries it and we get the result. (She was a rock farmer after all)
OH MY GOD!! I just thought of something.
Maud: "You did WHAT with boulder!?!?!?"
Oh god, that's something for the blooper reel chapter.
It was interesting and can't wait what you do next even if it is not my head cannon on Rainbow's Family. I actually assumed that Rainbow Dash was a orphaned as it explains a lot of her need to prove herself, as well as her quircks that scream insecurity and want to be notice. Plus the fact she seems more at home with Fluttershy's house then even her own home kind of convinces me.
Though overall, good story and curious what you will do with future chapters.
Why do i get the feeling that the term "steering council" is somewhat literal? Also, great work with the pegasus proverbs and the characterization of Dash's family. Especially Firefly. Their dynamic reminds me of my mom and sister a little. They're so alike that they can't stand each other.
As for questions... I suppose the most pertinent one is what effect this is going to have on the Equestrian government. Twilight had a training period, but she does appear to be doing things now. Assuming the others will be crowned, how are they going to handle having five more princesses? Whether or not they're becoming royalty, what's the plan? (And if they are, Dash's brothers bring up a good point: How does that impact their families, especially Applejack's?)
Oh, and there's also the question of just what Pinkie Pie is now capable of.
Wow, Firefly is a bitch. I don't blame Rainbow for acting the way she did at all.
Well, interesting. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
AWESOME!
Wow, rocky mother-daughter relationship there.
Nicely portrayed family dynamic.
It's kind of ironic that you gave Dash three younger brothers, since Faust initially said she didn't think RD should be a big sister. Of course, we know from episodes like "Sleepless in Ponyville" that Faust was wrong about that, at least.
Who was Prism Bolt at the end? I thought it was Blue Bolt?
I don't know how councilors are viewed in Equestria, or if they even exist as a profession, but Dash and Firefly need some kind of professional intervention.
7278415 Yus, spread the capillurgy and geomancy headcanons! Actually, those are pretty much canon, just not named in the show.
7278363 Agreed, and does an alicorn even have to become a princess?
Maybe superior strength or endurance, not to mention geomancy and mane manipulation ala AJ with a lasso.
Amusing chapter.
Interesting. I suspect that by the end most of them are going to look for a way to reverse the alicornification, grow to accept their newfound status, or inadvertently turn everyone in Equestria into an alicorn to solve the issue.
Personally, I'm hoping for the latter, if for no other reason than to see Celestia and Luna's reaction.
Not really related, but Discord would just be laughing his ass off.
7278893 No!
Nonono!
NonononoNoNoNoNONONONONO NO!
You did not just bring up the princess of quantum metaphysical abberration!
Nope!
Not that any of them would know, but...
More like enhanced strength and endurance. Also the ability to finely manipulate her hair. (as we see examples in The Cutie Pos, Power Ponies and Bats! for example.)
threw
Questions about alicorns? Why does the "alicorn magic" that Twilight had to use on Zecora's past-viewing potion look like "dark magic"? Will the five new alicorns need to do anything specific to avoid accidentally using dark magic? Rarity already has a history of it with the book from Inspiration Manifestation, so maybe she'd be worried about that...
7279651
I might not have before you read my comment. You just had to go and collapse the waveform, didn't you?
I`m wondering why Dash keeps doing this. One`d think that after a while she`s prepare the material beforehand - it`s kind of implied that predicting what`s going to happen is really easy.
Something to the tune of...
That's our Dashie alright.
7278528
Fluttershy: Princess of the Forests
Well, the big one, is..."Just...how immortal ARE Alicorns?"
Also, the worst part about good stories? When they cut off suddenly.
Any plans to have Fluttershys brother join? I really like to see him tease Rainbow Dash
7280144 I totally want to know what's going on with Pinkie Pie now.
Sounds to me though that Celestia already has plans for them. She was deliberating about them before she found out that they all ascended.
I think Twilight is going to have a rough few days ahead of her as these things get sorted out.
Good job on the friction between Dash and her mom. Love the fact that you chose to use Firefly as her mom.
7278712 Oh yeah, Starlight totally felt like someones OP self insert OC.
Wait...wasn't Firefly the one who gave the Wonderbolts their team name?
7281626 Common headcanons before that episode aired aside, you act like every name has to be unique. What if Firefly's momma (or dad) decided they wanted their daughter to be like that Firefly?
7284162
Meh...I was actually wondering if Celestia gave Firefly the gift of immortality, actually.
While Firefly makes a lot of really good points...
You've kind of set your audience up to disagree with her on principle because she's rude.
Doesn't seem like a good call, that.
Her core goal is being awesome. Wonderbolts are a means to that endm really. And I do believe that just merely existing at this point moves her towards it.
I'm loving Dash's family here.
That seems oddly specific...
One of the other girls really needs to grab AJ or Pinkie and ask for more specific details.
Bolt and Arrow are fun. And this Summer Belle? Do tell.
Dang, so much for any hometown privileges.
Man, Dash and her mother are basically twins one generation removed. Pretty appropriate given the pre-show swap from Firefly to Rainbow.
Well you know, sometimes you're a few minutes out from that argument and suddenly you think of that perfect rebuttal. Well, rebuttal at least.
7284552 The problem isn't that she's rude, it's that her daughter pretty much literally just became a goddess and she didn't show an ounce of support or excitement. It's one thing trying to teach your child to be responsible, but it's another to pointedly send the message that their accomplishments are meaningless and worthless to you because they didn't happen due to your teachings. At that point it doesn't matter how right or wrong she is, what matters is that she is basically telling Dash that as an adult, she will never be good enough, and her strengths as an individual have no value to her. If someone strikes it rich in the music industry, and they come home to show off their international awards to you or something, you don't berate them for dropping out of college, you congratulate them that their hard work and talent has paid off, and let them know you're proud, and that even if you don't agree with everything they've done, you still love them anyway. RD's mom never once conveyed love, and actively disparaged her daughter for finding success in a different way than was planned out for her.
Question 1 from originally non unicorns: 'So do we have to go to magic kindergarten?'
Question 2 'What do we get to raise and lower each day?'
Question 3 from orig non pegasi 'How do you clean these things?' (ie wings)
Question 4 RD again 'Who here wants to start the Wondercorns precision flying team?'
Question 5 AJ ' Can ya teach me how ta telly-port(sic) my apples off dem trees next harvest?'
Question 6 'We get to throw ponies we don't like into dungeons?'
Question 7, parts a to e 'Can i have group of Party Guards? I'ma gonna start the Orchard Guard please? Then I simply must have a Fashion Guard! Oo, oo, then can i have a Stormchaser Guard oo or a Tornado Guard OOOOOOOOO how's this for a good name, The Windigo Guard? I think I'd just like to start the RSPCA if that's alright?
A handful scraped off the top of the grey matter for you.
7279764 Posterity is Rarity's cousin that has a business in Manehattan printing advertising posters!