Hello, if you are reading this and Fall of the Moon has not occurred then you need not worry you may stop reading at any time, and the Fillies and Colts under my care are just fine. But if Fall of the Moon has occurred then it may be too late for us. But if it isn’t then there is not much time you may be our only hope, my name is Mark and this is my story. First things first though if Fall of the Moon has happened beware that Nightmare Moon will likely have been unleashed upon the world.
-opening passage from a book found in a crater in LOCATION CLASSIFIED
This will be updated at random, and I would like feedback if you can give me any.
Unstated Characters will come up and influence the story.
This happens before the show and it is built on the knowledge given up to the middle of season 6. As well as one or two head-cannons I wanted to throw out into the fandom.
Why oh why turn him into a pony after saying you needed a human?
7903132 Luna needed someone who would protect and care for the younglings. with a normal pony it is usually one or the other. and for us humans we can provide both, usually. although given Equestria girls, he was transformed into a pony when he crossed over.
And it helps hide him from anypony from finding out what he was the moment they see him
Nice to see a update but you need to add more details to the story. Its characters and the world. Chapter 3 and we know nothing of the main character, nothing about Celestia and her strangeness, and has the story's timeline jumped days, months, years?.
How long has our main character been in Equestria what does he look like, is he ageless or immortal?. If not well Lunas plan went to poo the moment he accepted. I can see him saying; "Sure i will help, lets see 5 years to learn to fight properly if given proper instructions so lets say 10 years and then i can protect them for about 10 years before I start to slow down and get old, but do not worry, during those 10 years I will make a good big brother/father. So I am not wasting your time".
All we know is that he is a pony and that some time has passed since last chapter because he knows the history of what has happened, he knows the children and he knows how to fight in equine form.
And honestly the Twilight sideline is not working. For Twilight to find them, she needs to know were they stayed all those years ago. Twilight even tells him this; "We want to know what happened to this place" meaning that she is from the future. And if she knows this, then Luna told her. Because if Celestia did then she would have wiped them out/adjusted them and then pretended like it was raining, no need to go look.
Twilight would not have reacted the way she did if Luna gave her this mission to find her children and warning her of Celestia.
Do you see the problem?
8020263 I do see the issue with the time. And the issue with him being Mortal. But this is implied to be pre-"I want eternal night" times at least for now
Time Travel is a tricky thing to pin down anyway. As to why Twilight came in... Time doesn't heal all wounds. Even if we don't know of them
The reason that Luna brought Mark was to protect the Children from any and all danger.
the Characters will be developed in the future.
This could become an interesting story, keep practicing and I you will improve.
why does a suspicious song playing on a radio constitute running from your car? Might be more believable if it was coming from the vast unknown.
7904067
yes, but turning him into a pony seems contradictory to the idea of having a human in Equestria to watch over the young fillies. Moreover, you never told us what kind of pony the young Luke is.
7903132
my thoughts exactly
8021592
It's canon that the time travel spell only works for a few short seconds and can never be used again. This chapter would be more believable if you stated that the Twilight had somehow "fixed" the error in the spell
So.......Luna has no interest in this "king of some short"?
With Luna not taking an interest in that subject, she dismisses the safety of the fillies.
Why spoil this out?
8081276 there are some things that are not in the show or the Fandom yet and I wanted to give a forewarning to those that wanted it. and a surprise to those that didn't
There is no such word.
8316291
Thank you for taking the time to read the story.
8316318
No problem! https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212612/hidden-gems/thread/327051/guardians-of-the-night Thoughts posted. Good luck in your writing journey.