• Published 11th Apr 2016
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Rogue Chaos - FrostTheWolf



The Rogues of the Detritus Rings try to raise a infant Discord while fighting to survive and protect the last star in the universe from the Varelsi. This is either going to be good... or drive everyone insane.

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The Sentinel: Never ask a Guardian for directions

Rogue Chaos- The Sentinel:

Never ask a Guardian for directions


As the entire team returned to the main chamber, they saw that one of the locks that was holding the door to the Sentinel’s chamber had come loose as the light from the first keystone had unlocked the first mechanism. In the same area though, more of temples guardians were attacking the intruding thrall as the team tried to divide and conquer this next set. All while Mellka thought of a strange, yet possible idea after figuring out that they could transmit what the Old Sentinel was actually saying. “Nova, can we possibly send a message back to the Sentinel? Explain why we come?” She first asked the AI before finishing up that statement. “Maybe we can reason with it.”

“Transmitting, stand by…” The Magnus AI first commented before speaking up again like she did before. “Awesome, more people trying to get in today. What is so special about today? Is it a tuesday? Because I could never really understand the meaning of tuesdays. Oh well, I guess I just have to prepare to fight thousand of unsuspecting hostiles unlike the hundred that I originally planned for… Though, some of these guys seem… different. They’re definitely not Jennerit. Could they be Eldrid? Do they know what is going on outside? I guess it doesn’t matter, they’ll die just like the rest. Speaking of which, I wonder what sort of noises they make when they die. Maybe they say things like ‘augh!’ and ‘squish!’ and stuff… I’ll make a note of my hypothesis and test it when they are killed.” Originally, Mellka and the team thought that was the only message that needed to be transmitted, but as they made their way to the second chamber and tried their best to avoid the spiked ceiling traps, Nova transmitted one other message.

They’re in the second chamber. Great, more work for me. Now I have to prepare an underling for imminent mortal combat. Not like I much going on today… ARGH! Oh be honest Sentinel, you haven’t had anything going on for thousands of years… I really should start dating again.” However, hearing the words mortal kombat gave Discord an idea as he dressed himself up in a familiar ninja garb and threw a kunai with a chain on the other end of it at one of the Thrall Gunner’s that had landed earlier.

“GET OVER HERE!” He demanded, pulling the gunner over to Kelvin, who followed up with a massive chomp to destroy that thrall as Alani used her abilities to have a water dragon burst from the ground. Causing all the primal thrall in the area to run for their lives as Caldarius and Phoebe managed to pick them off one by one.

“Okay, how exactly are we suppose to reach that all the way up there?” Kelvin asked upon noticing several Jennerit taking up position on a ledge high up above the group to pin them down with suppressing fire. Caldarius and Phoebe were able to easily get up there by their own means. Caldarius could easily use his assault frame to reach those specific heights while Phoebe used her phasegate to teleport herself all the way up there. Discord and Alani soon found the answer to their questions as they saw a jump pad at a nearby ledge that was able to launch them upward. But the youngling’s eagerness to get moving involved pushing the water monk forward and sending her flying up first. Even though she was not prepared mentally or emotionally for the task. “Yeah, I’m going to be forgetting about this part during today’s meditation later today… along with several other things.” She said, recalling the strange and creepy incident that happened when she first decided to volunteer for this mission.

Upon taking out the troops up there on the pathway to the next corridor, Mellka soon spoke up once again with a question for Nova this time around. “What’s it saying Nova? Did it receive our reply?”

“Stand by for real time translation.”

“Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t really going to work out the way we hoped?” Phoebe asked over the comline before turning to everyone else.

“We’re dealing with a Sentinel that has been secluded from the universe for… well… Let’s just say a VERY long time,” Alani spoke up. “I’m betting that it might not exactly believe what we have to say.”

Before Discord could ask, Nova soon began to interpret the Sentinel’s next message. “That’s a cute story? Last star? Varelsi? I know bulls**t when I smell it. Not that you can tell, but I’m laughing my ass off right now. Ha ha ha ha ha…” Nova soon paused for a minute before going back to her normal voice again. “Would you like me to translate the rest of his laughter? It goes on for a while…”

“That… might not be necessary.” The group heard Caldarius speak up before they began to proceed. “What were it’s thoughts on the Varelsi?”

“It had another comment on that. Hold please,” Nova asked before interpreting the other message. “Uh huh… That’s rich. Varelsi hunh? Yeah, they sound real scary… Just about as scary as Garblantix Ur, the Lord of all Sentinels… Who is fictional and thus, not scary.

“So no matter what we tell it, it’s too stubborn to believe us… Why does that sound oh so familiar?” Phoebe asked herself and the others. “Oh I know, because that reminds me of Kleese.”

“I HEARD THAT!!” They all heard the genius and former head of minion robotics scream out loud on the other end of the mic before the group dropped down into another pit and began to look around. All while Nova soon commented on the current situation.

“Oooh, another gate. Maybe there’s a cursed amulet or something behind it.”

“Hold tight… I’ll see about opening it remotely.” Kleese informed the rest of them. “Do try to not be… oh I don’t know… IMPALED by stuff in the meantime.”

“We will as soon as you stop being overdramatic.” Discord chuckled at Phoebe’s comment as he conjured Phoebe’s blades this time and had a musketeer hat to go with his belt and the rose in between the jaws of his mouth. “Which, in both yours and Discord’s case… is pretty much never going to happen.”

“Perhaps,” Discord spoke, seeming now a snowman and absent mindedly walking ahead. “But we can see!” He walked into a spike out of the wall. His legs fell as his upper body was sticking in the spikes. “Oh… look at that. I’ve been impaled.” He chuckled to himself.

“Hopefully, he won’t sing… that song.” Kelvin spoke.

“What song?” Alani asked. They regretted it as Discord was in a blue dress.

“DUCK AND COVER!!!” Caldarius ordered. The following result was Discord, despite being male, sang like a woman with snow everywhere… and Frozen fever came back. However, this had an… interesting effect on the Jennerit that tried to ambush them as most of them were frozen in place. Leaving them to be easy targets for Caldarius’ blaster and Phoebe’s sabres. Not to mention when Alani’s water shots would freeze midway through and turned into icicles. Dealing more damage in the process. All while Discord soon got on Kelvin and smiled. “There you are Olaf.”

“My name isn’t Olaf.” He reminded him, only causing him to chuckle as Mellka commented on the situation.

“That was… weird… and surprisingly useful,” She replied to them as Discord ditched the wig and dress. “I’m betting Kleese’s LLC bank account that there’s another freaking golem up ahead. Kill it and trigger the next keystone. We gotta keep moving!”

“I’m RIGHT here! Since when did you decide to bet with my money?” He asked her.

“Since Nova told me she has the PIN number to your account and is the reason why you have some… expensive claims.”

“I didn’t even know he had cash.” Discord said, then pulled out a squirt gun. “This is a stick up! Hand over the money, Olaf!”

“I’m not OLAF!!!”

“For future reference, Discord, The Last Light Consortium are mostly made up of wealthy entrepreneurs, businessmen and engineers whose favorite hobbies include showing up on episodes of Galactic Shark Tank and also economically subjegating entire planets til they’re completely dry. Kleese himself at one time had a very high salary as the Head of Minion Robotics and even had a promotion on the way… Oh the memories.” ISIC spoke up from out of nowhere. Discord himself was demanding a piece of Kleese’s shares while Caldarius just facepalmed himself. Alani and Kelvin didn’t really care about the way the conversation was going. However, Phoebe’s response to this entire part of the conversation was a lot… different than the rest of the team.

“What the hell is he talking about?”

“I…… was fired, Phoebe.”

“FIRED!?!” She snapped. “What on Earth for?!”

“Back before I began fighting for you guys, he made one… costly and career ruining mistake,” ISIC replied. “He… let me live. Heheheh………. Big mistake fella.”

“Yeah, so can everybody just get back to what they were supposed to be doing right around now?” Mellka then asked. “Which reminds me… There’s the golem.” That was when everyone turned and saw the second lieutenant of the Sentinel dropped down from the nearby ledge as it was channeling electricity from its cold stone hands.

“How… shocking!” Discord joked, followed by a laugh track. Which lead to him being the first one to get electrocuted in the process, making his hair stick up… and getting the white goatee again “I feel your pain ISIC… I feel your pain…. Ooh! You’re back, beardy!”

“Discord, we could use your help right now!!” Phoebe reminded him. She and a few other were trying to hurt the guardian the best they could, but it kept on getting harder because of the fact that the armor piece around the chest was really hard to crack open. Even Kelvin couldn’t break it because he was practically too small and couldn’t quite get up there to tear the armor off. Ditching the beard and conjuring Reyna’s pistol, Discord decided to contribute to the fight the best way that he could…

By completely distracting the Guardian. He jumped onto its shoulders, surprising everyone by his sudden movements… and how he was able to have the fight come to a complete halt.

“So,” he began. “Can Mr. Guardian please help me find where the bathroom is?” As he said this, he winked a little towards Phoebe. She didn’t really get the cue at first, but soon realized what to do and what Discord’s intentions were. The Guardian shrugged it's shoulders. “WHAT!?!?!? NO BATHROOMS!?!?!? How can you live here!?!?!?” Before the Guardian could answer, Discord interrupted again. “What, nevermind… say, think I should keep the beard? I kinda feel like it's going to define me as a character.” Allowing for her to call down her flurry of blades while the guardian’s back was turned.

“What was that all about?” Mellka asked.

“Psst…” They all heard Discord whisper. “Let me distract him. If you do that, you can attack him without letting it realize what’s going on.”

“That… is freaking brilliant!!” Kleese proclaimed. “How did you come up with something like that?”

“It was the same strategy I used to distract you when grandma was stealing the cash in your wallet.” Discord snickered, immediately changing the genius’ reaction from surprised to downright pissed. Mellka herself, along with Phoebe were really laughing their heads off as Discord continued to distract the guardian by asking him some more questions. By the time that it reached question number 20, Discord’s final question came with a special gift as he conjured one of Whiskey Foxtrot’s sticky grenades and placed it along the exposed core. Detonating as he dropped back down to the ground.

The final question being something that ISIC would say. “Please let yourself get killed by this, ‘k?”

“Well, that’s a way to do it… But how the hell are we going to try and reach the Sentinel now?” Caldarius asked.

“One of my questions to him was asking how could we be able to reach the Sentinel and it said there were some bounce pads we could use to reach it.”

“Oh great… More of me having to face my fear of heights…” Alani groaned. “Fan-f*cking-tastic.”

“Well, we got the gates taken care of. Now comes the hard part…” Mellka groaned as she took in a deep breath. “Nova, help me broadcast my next message to the Sentinel… Enemies of the Eldrid are coming to claim you. They want to use you as a weapon and we can’t let that happen… Any way we can solve this without violence? … I can’t believe I just said that.”

Without violence? Oh no… No way in hell. We are doing violence. We are doing that!

“Ooh! Tell him that you have a child with a sick beard!” Discord suggested. However, what they heard next was surprising.

Nah, I’m not interested in peace… or your beard. I’m bored as hell. Been so for thousands of years. Security is my only job here and I’m sure as hell not going to let you take it away from me. Come and be grounded into paste, chumps.

“Damn… well you heard it. Head for the Sentinel’s chamber.”

“HE WILL PAY FOR NOT COMPLIMENTING MY BEARD!!!” Discord spoke, wearing a kilt with blue markings across his face. “HE MAY TAKE OUR VICTORY!!! HE MAY TAKE OUR LIVES!!! BUT HE WILL NOT DISS THE BEARD!!! FREEDOM!!!” He charged ahead, swinging a Claymore sword that was easily about 9 feet tall.

“Dissy, calm down,” Everyone now heard Shayne over the mic as Discord stopped what he was doing. “He probably didn’t mean it intentionally. From what Mellka just said, this thing is pretty much hard wired for defense. Plus… your beard was gone ever since you beat that last guardian. You had it attached to the sticky grenade that you used to blow him to bits.” Discord, now realizing this, just deeply groaned to himself… followed by everyone wearing black clothing as a funeral was held for ‘Beardy’, with a now comedic rather than dramatic song playing. Caldarius, with an annoyed groan, approached to Discord and gave him an electric shock. The youngling fell to the floor, but cheered as his beard was back.

“I may find you annoying,” Caldarius spoke. “but if it's between either you crying or distracted by your beard… I choose the latter.” unfortunately, Discord was distracted. “...the sentinel said beards are last week.”

“WHAT!?!?!?” Discord yelled in shock. He was in Viking armor now with a face of anger and rage. “WITNESS ME!!!” He ran ahead, but fell face first.

“MEDIOCRE!!!” ISIC mocked. Discord got back up and he charged into the fray, unaware of what was waiting for him as he crash landed in the Sentinel’s chambers.

Discord and the old sentinel stared at each other… then did interpretive dancing. The rest of the group watched in confusion.

“What are they even doing?” Alani asked.

“Communicating.” Caldarius answered. “The old sentinel can't speak, but, from what my information says, Draconequi can speak any language, and they accel in interpretive dancing.”

“That's… interesting.” Phoebe said. “And what are they talking about?”

“... It's a rap battle.”

“Really?” Kelvin asked, annoyed.

“Of course. Discord said his mother's a *beep beep beep*ing*beep*lorem ipsum*beep beep beep*admiumvenium*beep beep beep beep*turolagulio*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus*beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep* Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dynamite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM!!!!” Nova replied. Everyone stood, surprised to hear such vulgar language.

“WHISKEY!!!” Shayne yelled.

“It wasn't me, I swear!!!” the failed clone retorted.

“Sorry, rough translation.” Nova said.

Everyone sighed… but as soon as the Sentinel saw them, it began to lash out in fury as it picked up a boulder and tried to squash them. Causing the group to scram.

“Okay, why is it attacking us!?”

“Apparently… Discord broke the rules,” Nova said. “And insulted his mother.”

“Of course he would,” Caldarius spoke, reloading his energy pistol and preparing his flash grenades. “Time to kill the Guardian… sorry Melka.”

“Not gonna watch.” Melka spoke, some sadness in her voice… before changing her tone. “I honestly thought at one point that there was some other way that we could keep this thing out of Rendain’s reach… but from the sounds of it, and from what Shayne told me, it’s hard wired for defense… It’s not going to make it easy on us… no matter who we are. I hope you’re all ready for a fight-.” Just as she said that though, the Sentinel was beginning to have multiple spears rupture from the ground as they were thrown towards the group. In addition, it was doing the same thing with generating lightning around it from the electric fields. Readying itself as it fired it’s attack in an outward beam. “WOAH!! It really IS a weapon. Watch out!!”

“You don’t need to tell me twice!” Phoebe yelled, teleporting away from the sentinel seconds before it could hit her. Everyone tried focusing their attacks on the Sentinel while Kelvin focused on protecting the group and Alani was using her powers to keep everyone alive. As they were engaged in battle with the Sentinel though, the giant colossus at one point put a shield over himself, which was deflecting enemy fire and having it go after what appeared to be two shard clusters on a platform.

“I have a bad feeling about this. He must be regenerating somehow!” Mellka retorted, prompting Discord and Caldarius to open fire on the shards and destroy them before the Sentinel could get back into fighting shape.

“He’s back!” Kelvin said, noticing the friends that it brought along with it in the form of ten Eroded Guardians. “And it brought some friends!!”

“Friends!?” Discord asked. “Oi! Sentinel! You're bringing friends now!? THAT'S THE COWARD'S WAY!!!”

Murderous friends!!” Nova pointed out to the youngling. “Also Discord, he says you started it.”

“He wouldn't listen to us, though… and he dissed the beard! Everyone loves my beard!”

“Less talking, more fighting! Discord, on your right!!” Mellka shouted just in time so he could dodge them before blowing them to bits with one of the shotguns he conjured based off of Ghalt. Just when he did that though, the Sentinel was moving once again to another platform.

Where there were more shards to blow up… However, this time though, something different was going on as the amount of energy that was channeled by the Sentinel was going through the roof.

“Get ready, SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!” She shouted, just as a blast from the Sentinel nearly missed the ship. “WOAH!! That… was too close!”

“You missed! B-17!” a giant, red pod fell from the sky and pinned the Sentinel. “Ha! I sunk your battleship!”-” That… only pissed off the Sentinel even more as it took the pod and threw it straight at the ship again. Only for Kleese and them to pull off evasive maneuvers at the right time and have it crash into a few Jennerit Ships instead.

“Do a Barrel Roll!” Nova cheered.

“Hell no!!” Kleese replied. “We already have enough trouble in the air as it is without getting shot down by that blasted thing! Kill it before we get hit by something and crash!!” Discord himself, just lined himself up and prepared two floating orbs as he held up some kind of stick… before everyone realized what he was doing.

“Eight ball, corner pocket.” Taking the cue stick, he hit the ball with the tip of the cue, sending it straight into the floating eight ball before sending that straight through the Sentinel’s core. Causing the whole thing to explode… and for Discord to be covered in what almost looked like a slimy substance that was either the remains of fallen enemies or the blood of the Sentinel.

Ignoring the mess, Mellka sighed as the ship soon came in for a landing and the bay doors were beginning to open. “We did it… incredible. One less world ending superweapon for Rendain to use against us… and we just furthered the Eldrid’s inevitable decline. Come back to Nova, we’re gonna drink now… and help get you washed up as well.”

“Uh… not to make things sound even weirder than before,” Shayne spoke up from the background as mostly everyone was now on board. “But Nova’s picking up lifesigns from that substance that Discord got covered in.”

“What? That’s just preposterous,” Kleese responded, rolling his eyes before looking back at the youngling. “How can a substance like that be a living- Oh my god, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!” That was when everyone actually turned around to see exactly what Kleese was seeing. The green slime from before not only had a small and round body, but was actually interacting with Discord… in a friendly matter. Causing the Draconequus to go as far as to give him a fancy hat to add too it.

“I'm gonna call you… Smooze!” Discord said to the blob. “Cause you're a smooth ooze! Like it?” It gave Discord a slobbering kiss, making him laugh.

Of course… almost everyone was silent again. And the one who broke it this time was actually not ISIC surprisingly.

It was Nova. “Holy sh******t.”


Author's Note:

Well... That happened.

So after I had tried playing through multiple runs of the actual mission to remember the dialogue (And getting the chance to take part in playing with the developers of the game at Gearbox in Multiplayer), I finally came up with this. You may have been seeing a trend as of recently involving new characters specific to this story, but that's because the total Battleborn count at the end will be 35 (including the DLC heroes). Discord is seen as the seventh rogue in this story while Sweetie Bot is the seventh Battleborn for the Last Light Consortium. More will be added over the course of the story as the journey continues.

Next Chapter- Interlude: Missing Pieces


Also, check this out for future content coming to Battleborn.
https://battleborn.com/en/news/view/en-dlc-plan-update-1-whats-next-for-battleborn/

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