• Member Since 28th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 34 minutes ago

Nimnul


Too much nostalgia.

T

Berry Punch turned her life around and she knows two things:
1. Her life has never been better. She has great friends, and a much improved relationship with Ruby Pinch, her daughter.
2. She grew up a petty inner city criminal. Barely anypony knows, of course. Ponyville's problems tend to get solved by friendship, weaponized or otherwise, and if anypony did need to be roughed up, Berry was probably hung over at the time.

Berry is at peace. So what if she's a little rough around the edges? She's no crazier than her friends. However, her misspent youth and early adulthood seem to catch up to her when her daughter's sire sends a letter indicating that he wants to be part of his daughter's life. That stallion has never shown an interest, and Berry can't believe things are as simple as that. With help from her friends, she intents to get to the bottom of things, and tie up loose ends, if necessary.

It's only right to confide in Bon Bon and Lyra, after all. Bon Bon let Berry in on her past as a monster hunter in a surprising gesture of trust, and the other earth pony at least wouldn't judge Berry for her past.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 17 )

This seems interesting, I do love stories with Dinky and Ruby together as friends.

If Berry Punch and Ruby Pinch were voiced, what would they sound like?

7163067 You've hit me right in my weak spot. I'm really bad at describing voices and I think I've gotten into the bad habit of just not doing it even for characters who aren't voiced in the show.

I'd probably have trouble doing that in my native language, let alone English.

Also, I grew up exposed to mostly dubbed media. Sure, now I tend to watch things in the original English, but that still limits my pool of characters/voice actors I can point at and go "sounds like this guy!".

Hell, my parents were big fans of The Nanny when I was growing up, but I was only recently made aware of how nasal Fran Drescher actually sounds.

Well, I guess you've got me thinking about it now.

"You get used to that. Soon enough you learn to just treat it as one of many possible options for a social interaction." Landshark twitched her jaw in her usual placeholder for a smile. "The consequences are severe, and the opportunity costs involved in dodging those consequences can be strenuous as well, so it's often not the right choice. It also doesn't fit the person I want to be, in most cases. I guess that means I got a conscience."

Shark's idea of a conscience is pretty ...interesting... :derpytongue2:

Nice intro chapter, will have to check the rest latter on, good work. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Nimnul deleted Dec 18th, 2016

Wow, it's really been that long since I put this in my 'to read list'? :derpytongue2:
Grumpy Bon Bon is always fun to read, nice work.

8121465

Well, at the risk of disappointing you, I've pretty heavily reworked the story since you put it on your reading list. Nothing about the story I wanted to tell required the presence of Landshark, so this is a pony only story now - although the ponies in question are basically the same personalities as in the main story and it can still work as a side story.

I just didn't want to bog the story down with all the usual trappings of a HiE character visiting a new place later in the story

Enny paced in agitation. "Again, I say: I have faith in Equestria. I do not think there is reason to fear." She snorted. "I wish to give everypony a chance. If Pinchy's sire turns out to be a decent stallion after all this time, good! Accept it, I say. But you say worrying things about this stallion and about that city, and I am a superstitious mare. If some unlucky accident were to occur, if you were struck by lightning or declared unfit to care for your daughter through some corruption in the system, I would not forgive it."

Was the parallel with 'The Godfather' intentional? :pinkiecrazy:

8121481 No problem, from the start it was clear this would be Berry's show.

Interesting reading so far. My favorite part in the story was seeing Ditzy's thoughts and her talk with the two bat-ponies.
Nice work. :twilightsmile:

8122613 Yes, I couldn't resist.

The bloody miracle gang has everything work out for them and they get away with everything, 'cause we're pretending that consequences don't happen to heroes. You think I'd get away with giving half the town food poisoning out of my kitchen?" She laughed bitterly. "But whatever. The poor girls are going to be stuck with the job 'til it kills them, may as well give 'em some perks. 

Harsh but true... :pinkiecrazy:

Nice chapter, good work.

 She chuckled with a predatory glint in her eye. "I feared nothing, least of all your squirrely little summer ponies. 

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/23/bb/f1/23bbf13c6ea4b02d7261a36f4a36a8d6--the-knight-victoria.jpg
:raritywink:

Really love Enny, the way she speaks and her mannerisms are something I deeply enjoy. :twilightsmile:
Nice work, well done.

8364140
Hah, thanks. I'm kinda working on another slice of life bit with her in it, just haven't been doing that much writing lately.

8376074
Yeah I know how it is, I'm also so swamped that I've been barely able to update any of my stories, either my MLP fic here or my other two stories back at fanfiction. :fluttershysad:

Nonetheless I'd love to see an fic with more Enny on it. Really like her as a character. :twilightsmile:

Really good fic! Your characterization for Berry Punch is simply top notch, and I love the colorful cast of characters you established here, particularly Lyra's Mom. My only real issue is that, honestly, this is a story where less would certainly have been more. There are just too many side scenes, parallel plot threads, or simple diversions from the main conflict, that everything simply feels diluted. You could have honestly cut the story to 1/3 of its side, and made it all the more stronger for it.

8867511
Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed it despite the weaknesses. I've been trying to write more, and have noticed that tend to have an idea for a scene and just write it for a while until eventually asking myself "Did this even need to be here?" So I'm still struggling with the brevity thing.

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