• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2012
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The Abyss

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Arrested for multiple counts of discharging a firearm in Manehattan, Pinkie Pie has no idea what she did wrong. She thought that everypony loved her party cannon, and based off of the smiles of those around her, she didn't think twice about firing her cannon whenever and wherever she pleased.

Too bad the police think otherwise.

Preread by: Rated Ponystar, Cynewulf, Blaze_Sunfire, Diokno44, VampDash, and Ponysopher.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 86 )

Huh. I like it.

It could be expanded upon, though...

Oh, Pinkie. You so random.

I'm now curious to read about this mafia sting. Hopefully that an upcoming fic, right? :pinkiegasp:

Either way, hilarious. If anything, I kinda wish it was a bit longer.

I was honestly hoping to actually see the cops try to make the charges stick, only for Pinkie to Pheonix Wright her way out of it...especially when Celestia insisted on judging the case herself, since charges against an Element of Harmony made the case a matter of national security.


“Oh, it’s alright, Maud! I can’t help it if some jokes fluorite over your head!”

That was a Gneiss pun.

I couldn't stop fu*king laughing while I was reading this. I literally dropped my iPad a bunch of times because I was losing it and laughing like a maniac. Now my ribs hurt. I blame you for writing such a funny and great story. XD


Ponies always seem to underestimate just how smart Pinkie Pie really is.

Very funny. A more serious Pinkie that still cracks jokes and giggles. I cracked up in a few parts, And I loved the story tons. You should consider a sequel with them on the run back to ponyville.

:pinkiehappy: SEE YA! ------- WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA!----WOOO HOOO!
:pinkiegasp:My twitchy knee says when we get home you're going to date Spikey and give him a great big kissy:raritystarry:
:twilightoops: Pinkie?
Damn this would of been great in the show!
:facehoof: Only Pinkie!

I wish Luna was there

Alas, this story seems rather incomplete. I like what it's got though.

The Manehatten Police Department has a reputation for being the most ruthless, vile, and corrupt police force in all of Equestria!

I dunno, Los Manegeles sure could give them a run for their money.

All in all, I liked it a lot. Some good laughs came from this. Have a like, a favourite, and a nice day! :twilightsmile:

This story felt odd.

Discharging firearms? You'd need a firearm in the first place, cannons (even ones that shoot cannonballs) are not firearms.

7126871 A firearm is a portable gun, being a barreled weapon that launches one or more projectiles often driven by the action of an explosive force. cannon has a barrel, party is the projectile (confetti streamers etc.) and gunpowder provides explosive force, so technically a cannon is indeed a firearm

The last time I had my name as a pre-reader for something, Twilight was a Unicorn.

...I am unsure whether to add this story to the Judy Trots group.

"Portable" in the definition of firearm means that it is intended to be picked up, carried, and effectively operated by a single person. A cannon is certainly a gun, but as it cannot be effectively operated by a single person, it is not a firearm.

Relax, Rarity! You've nothing to fear from the cops. After all, you're white and wealthy. :trollestia:

Nice, not how I really expect it, but nice anyway.

I love how Pinkie weasel her way out.

I much say, when Pinkie started the make a ruckus in front of the rock pouch shop and started shaking the police mare in the episode, I really expected her to be arrested. Not frown in jail, but at least had to have Maud and Rarity fetch her at the police station.

Breaking Bulletin: This just in, the Pink Terror that had been that had been on a crime spree throughout manehattan has escaped custody and is currently on the run. She is armed and dangerous.

Vanity Fare: That's right Breaking. Be on the look out for any pink ponies with balloon themed cutie marks and report it to the authorities as soon as possible. Now for the weather, Cloudy, What's the forcast?

Cloudy: ITS WINDY!

Breaking Bulletin: Thanks Cloudy,

It's tuft to find good stories by such a coal author. Have a favorite and a like.

7127415 Perhaps a standard cannon, but the Party Cannon is very portable (as in, stick-it-in-your-mane type portable. How does she do it?) and is definitely operatable by a single pony. That does, in fact, make the Party Cannon a firearm, even though a full-sized cannon wouldn't count.

7127595 Using that sort of logic, the GAU-8/A Avenger

is portable (as in, you can easily move it around (in a vehicle)) and is operated by a single person.

The cannon is not a firearm. It is not fired while held, it is placed and fired while stationary.

It's Pinkie Pie, so unless we have evidence of anyone else using that cannon in the same way, not a firearm.

The Avenger doesn't meet the criteria, actually, since it requires a vehicle to move and can only be (effectively) operated by a single person with several mechanical and electrical assists.

Machine guns are also not necessarily held, and can be fired from an emplacement, and are considered a firearm.

HOWEVER, even if we can't all agree on the exact physical characteristics here, I think we can all agree on the basis of caliber: Any gun, regardless of size and portability, with a bore diameter of 20mm (about .80 caliber) or greater is classified as a cannon and not as a firearm. While we don't actually know how big a "little pony" is, I think we can also agree on the basis of ratios that the party cannon is, in fact, not a firearm due to its large bore diameter.

The Manehattan Police Department clearly does not understand that Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie.

Good thing that employing TARDIS technology within her mane to carry a confetti cannon around isn't a crime, right?
Actually, wait.

Lemme talk to the Time Lords about that.

7127626 Checked the regulations on this. Looks like the cannon does not fit the Manehattan definitions of a "firearm". Although it would probably be classified as a Title II destructive device under Equestrian law.

"Firearm" means (a) any pistol or revolver; or (b) a shotgun having one or more barrels less than eighteen inches in length; or (c) a rifle having one or more barrels less than sixteen inches in length; or (d) any weapon made from a shotgun or rifle whether by alteration, modification, or otherwise if such weapon as altered, modified, or otherwise has an overall length of less than twenty-six inches; or (e) an assault weapon."

Alright, I just HAVE to point this out.

she called out, her legs a-quiver. .

You don't use 2 periods.

Rock puns!


7127577 I just KNOW that's a reference to something, but I can't for the life of me remember what... :applecry:

Probably a reference to Family Guy.

The undercover cop was a stroke of genius. Also, it was funny when Pinkie just decided to elude arrest in the end as well :rainbowlaugh:

7128023 Yeah, it's Family Guy.

Possibly a bit short... But the rest was hilarious. Also, I think you nailed Pinkie's character.
Overall awesome story.

Arrest Pinkie (personal friend to all Princesses who raise the Sun and Moon and have immense powers to vaporize ponies who piss them off), but forget changelings, the creatures that actually openly invaded your land and threatened to enslave the entire population, exist...

Equestria, you one F'd up place. Even worse than Chicago! :trollestia:


Yep, its a reference to one of Family Guys actually good jokes lol. Thought it fit the moment :pinkiehappy: .

7127415 I'm going to accept that point because while pinkie blatantly does that (half the time she has that thing stored in her /mane/ fer cryin out loud) she also blatantly violates even equestria's laws of physics as it amuses her. the comment was more heckling someone who decided to nitpick a /comedy one-shot/ for technicalities


Yep, its a reference to one of Family Guys actually good jokes lol. Thought it fit the moment :pinkiehappy: .

7127415 105mm recoilless 'rifle' is a cannon man portable shoulder fired.
Join the Army see the world and kill interesting people.

The "rifle" in the name refers to the fact that the barrel is rifled.

We're getting way off-topic in these comments.

7128620 Maybe just a bit.

Oh come now. Everyone knows it's only Zebras, Camels and Griffons that get arrested for terrorist acts. :raritywink:


Don't forget Anubi, them shifty fellas. :trixieshiftleft:

(In other news, I really want to hear more of this story now)

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