• Published 12th Apr 2016
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STAR WARS / FiM: Realms of the Heavens - Tathem_Relag



An Imperial expeditionary group exploring the Unknown Regions of the Galaxy encounters a planet far more bizarre - and, potentially, dangerous - than anything they could have possibly predicted.

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Chapter Nine: Imperial War Council

System: Celes
Location: Indomitable command room, in orbit over Celes-III
Local Time: 14:43
Coruscant Standard Time: 02:42

Inquisitor Valerious was the last one to enter the room. All of the highest-ranking officers in the task force were seated around the holotable. They started to rise, but he waved them back down. He could sense that they feared him, and that was enough. He was a practical man, and didn’t need all the pomp and ceremony that the Moffs and the Emperor loved to surround themselves with. “Let’s get this meeting over with. Governor?”

Gavrisom cleared his throat. “Now that we seem to have cemented our presence here,” he gave Orramas an appreciative nod, “it’s time for us to see what courses of action are open to us. The Emperor himself has ruled out orchestrating a strategic extinction, so we have to find a more subtle way of removing the unfriendly current regime. I believe you’ve already started on a plan, Inquisitor?”

“Indeed. Their army poses no significant threat – they outnumber us by more than twenty-to-one, but they’re hardly equipped to handle a modern military force, and their entire species seems to have a strange aversion to actually spilling blood. We could probably defeat all of them with a single regiment. The real dangers that we’ll have to eliminate are their leaders and ‘heroes,’ plus the near-total approval they enjoy among their subjects. I’ll deal with the latter myself – these creatures are so weak-minded, filling their heads with traitorous thoughts would be trivially easy. I could probably convince half of them to murder their best friends if I wanted to. I’ll have to limit my influence to subtle emotional manipulation, though; the one called “Luna” is reputed to be a highly skilled telepath, so I’ll need to be careful not to cause any overt alterations to their minds that could be traced back to me. On that note: their VIPs. Captain Orramas?”

Orramas keyed a few commands into the holotable, and an image of the dark alicorn appeared above it. “Since Inquisitor Valerious mentioned Princess Luna, we’ll start with her. Name: Luna. Gender: female. Subspecies: alicorn. Titles: Princess of the Night. Aliases: Nightmare Moon. According to our informant, the official story is that Nightmare Moon was actually a separate entity that possessed the princess. However, we have no way of determining the truth of the matter. Current residence: Canterlot Castle, Canterlot. General description: as Princess Celestia’s closest known relative, she’s first in line for the Equestrian throne if anything should happen to the current monarch. A small segment of the population has actually suggested that Celestia should abdicate in favor of her sister. Most of the advocates of that course of action are on the fringes of pony society – pariahs, cultists, and even some of the closest beings this planet has to major criminals, who hope she’d give them pardons in return for their service. She’s publically denounced the idea of a coup, but we may still find some use for these fanatics. The superstitious locals also believe her to have the power to move this planet’s moon – Lun, I believe you decided to call it, Governor?”

Gavrisom nodded as Malen spoke up. “Don’t immediately dismiss it as all superstition, Captain. She is a powerful Force entity, and this entire system is absolutely inundated in the Force. It wouldn’t surprise me much to find out that she actually does play some role in regulating Lun’s orbit.”

General Aerin spoke up. “What are you saying, then? That we can’t kill her without the moon losing its orbital velocity and crashing down on the planet?”

The Inquisitor shrugged. “Quite possibly. Or maybe it would lose its angular acceleration and fly off into deep space, which would be catastrophic in its own way. Unfortunately, we also can’t afford not to kill her. I mentioned her telepathic abilities – she apparently has the ability to enter the mind of any of her subjects whenever she wishes, as long as that pony is asleep. She doesn’t seem to have figured out how to access the human mind yet, but we can’t take the risk that she someday might. We’ll have to find some way to assassinate her without causing a massive public outcry and getting war declared.”

“Wonderful,” Orramas intoned, rolling his eyes. “Psych profile: she’s exhibited impulsive tendencies and is usually the first of the alicorns to suggest solving a problem through violence. Similarly, she seems to have significantly less of a problem with employing lethal force than her sister, accounting for sixty-two-point-five percent of our casualties during the space battle on 28:3:29. Based on what we’ve been told by our informant, she may be suffering from borderline personality disorder. She displays a pathological need for the approval of others, tends to devalue those who don’t give it to her, and has engaged in self-harming behavior out of an extreme sense of guilt over actions she’s taken as a result of that devaluation. That we might be able to exploit her instability should go without saying. Next subject.”

He tapped on the holotable again, and the image changed to the white alicorn. “Name: Celestia. Gender: female. Subspecies: alicorn. Titles: Princess of the Sun, Princess of Equestria. Aliases: none. Current residence: Canterlot Castle, Canterlot. General description: according to local legend, she’s been the absolute ruler of the ponies for over a thousand years. She’s also said to cause the star Celes to orbit Celes-III.” He turned to face Inquisitor Valerious, an eyebrow raised.

Malen rubbed his chin for a moment. “Well, the local perception is provably false – we know this planet orbits its star and rotates on its axis. Perhaps she’s involved in maintaining that rotation? Of course, that’s not to say she doesn’t have some sort of connection with this system’s sun – a few legendarily powerful Force-users have manipulated stars before. I just have no idea what that relationship might be, if there even is one.”

“Tidal locking – that would certainly ruin this planet’s value as an agriworld,” Orramas muttered under his breath. “Psych profile: she’s said to be benevolent and incredibly wise. Some of her more fanatical supporters even claim that she’s omniscient – that’s a laugh. While she’s known to be a skilled combatant who is willing to engage in violence in order to protect her subjects, she also has a reputation for only employing lethal force if given absolutely no alternative. Her few opponents accuse her of behavior that would suggest possible antisocial personality disorder – lack of empathy, a love of cruel tricks, total disdain for social norms, and grand-scale manipulations. We don’t have nearly enough evidence for a conclusive diagnosis, though. Next.”

The image changed to the pink alicorn. “Name: Mi Amore Cadenza. Gender: female. Subspecies: originally pegasus, somehow mystically transformed into an alicorn. Titles: Princess of Love, the Crystal Princess, Princess of the Crystal Empire. Aliases: Cadance. Current residence: the Crystal Castle, the Crystal Empire. General description: Celestia’s ‘adopted niece’ and ruler of the Crystal Empire by heredity. She’s married to the Captain of the Canterlot Guard, Shining Armor. She has one child with him, a newborn alicorn – female, of course – named Flurry Heart.”

“I’m starting to see a connection between gender, subspecies, and positions of authority,” Aerin interrupted. “These creatures aren’t, by any chance, speciesist misandrists, are they?”

Orramas nodded. “Yes, they are. Their rulers would deny it, of course, but many ponies think of non-ponies as little more than animals, there’s some considerable posturing between the three primary subspecies, alicorns are all female and are considered inherently superior to all other beings, and females fill most positions of authority, with males being primarily, though not exclusively, restricted to roles requiring extensive physical exertions.”

The general’s face twisted into an ugly sneer. “Considering aliens and women superior to humans and men? How disgustingly backwards. I can’t wait to disabuse them of those ridiculous notions, preferably by way of public mass executions.”

Gavrisom glared at him. “Not on my watch, Dav. We won’t be winning any hearts and minds through slaughter.”

Blast ‘hearts and minds’!” Aerin shouted, rising from his chair. “Terror is a fine motivator everywhere else, it will work here! I say we round up their leaders and riddle them with so much blasterfire they end up looking like hunks of overcooked nerf! We should level their cities, burn their fields! Put the fear of the Emperor into them! If these aliens think they can defy the Empire, then we –!”

“That’s enough!” Gavrisom roared. All the other officers in the room stared at him in silent shock. The kind-hearted grandfather never raised his voice unless it was absolutely necessary in order to be heard over the din of battle. For him, yelling was a sign of nothing less than absolute rage. “Sit down, General! I know how much you lost at the hands of the Wookiees, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to just murder every single alien you come across! I will not have your unthinking hatred compromise this mission! By my authority as Imperial Governor of this system, I’m constraining you to the main base for any and all time you spend planetside. You are not to come into contact with any of the natives without my express permission. Do I make myself clear?”

Aerin wanted to argue, but he just nodded. “Yes… sir.” He could have claimed that Admiral Gavrisom didn't have the authority to decide how ground operations would be run, but he couldn’t say the same about Governor Gavrisom.

“Good.” The old man leaned back in his chair and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily. The veins on his neck stuck out, and the tension in his shoulders revealed that he had his fists clenched under the table. There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone waited for him to regain his composure. Finally, he straightened up and opened his eyes. “Go on, Captain.”

“Of course. Now, where was I…? Ah, right, Cadance. She’s a powerful empath and telepath, and is known for extensively altering her subjects’ minds to fit her concept of the ‘ideal’ emotional state. Bizarrely, no ponies seem to consider this a bad thing. Instead, it’s viewed as her natural right as the ‘Princess of Love.’ I’d recommend, Inquisitor, that you avoid doing anything to her so-called ‘crystal ponies.’ She’d likely be able to undo any of your work.”

“Suggestion noted.”

Orramas coughed. “Yes, well… Anyways, psych profile: she’s obsessed with making ponies feel love, and doesn’t seem to particularly care whether those feelings are natural or artificially induced. She’s said to be exceptionally kind and caring, though that’s probably more the result of her mass brainwashing techniques than anything else. Next.”

A hologram of a white unicorn stallion with a blue mane. “Name: Shining Armor. Gender: male. Subspecies: unicorn. Titles: Captain of the Canterlot Guard, Prince of the Crystal Empire. Aliases: none. Current residence: the Crystal Castle, the Crystal Empire. General description: probably the most respected male in all of Equestria, he’s the husband of Princess Cadance and brother of Princess Twilight Sparkle. His fame comes primarily through his connections to royalty, though he is also said to be Equestria’s greatest soldier, not that that means much. Psych profile: he puts on a stern, uncaring demeanor when operating as a soldier. However, he’s known to be very kind and excessively emotional when not in his armor. Next.”

The lavender alicorn. “Name: Twilight Sparkle. Gender: female. Subspecies: originally a unicorn, transformed into an alicorn upon her coronation. Titles: Princess of Friendship, Princess of Ponyville, Bearer of the Element of Magic. Aliases: none. Current residence: the Castle of Friendship, Ponyville. General description: the first of Equestria’s six greatest heroes, she’ll be central to any pony war effort. She’s believed to have the greatest potential in the Force of any being on the planet, even more than Celestia and Luna. She was raised as much by Celestia as by her parents, so she’s fanatically devoted to the monarch. There are even rumors that she’s being groomed to be Celestia’s successor. Psych profile: she’s well known for being mildly neurotic and obsessed with being constantly in control of her situation, with tendencies toward obsessive compulsive disorder. She also has a rather extreme commitment to learning, possessing an insatiable desire for greater knowledge.”

Malen’s face twisted into a malicious grin. “Does she, now? I’m amazed she hasn’t fallen yet. She must have a remarkably strong will, especially for a pony. I think I’ll enjoy overcoming it. Don’t worry about her, gentlemen. She’ll be serving the Empire before the month is out.”

“The Empire, or you personally?” a mutter came from the far end of the table.

“What was that, Captain Fanir?” the Inquisitor asked innocently, his smile not wavering.

“N-nothing, my lord!” the officer stammered, sweating profusely.

“Oh, really? Because I’m sure I heard an insinuation that my will is not the will of the Emperor, that work done in my service is not work in the Empire’s service. And that, Captain, is treason.

“No, my lord! Plea- AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!” His pleas were cut short as lightning arced across the table, causing him to writhe in agony. Nobody else moved as smoke started to rise from him. His screams finally choked off a full ten seconds later, but the lightning kept coming until his body stopped twitching. Throughout it all, Malen never stopped smiling.

“You may continue, Captain Orramas.”

The nervous officer licked his lips, and opened and closed his mouth several times before he could make any sound come out. “Next subject,” he finally managed. The image switched to a cyan-furred, rainbow-maned pegasus mare. “Name: Rainbow Dash. Gender: female. Subspecies: pegasus. Titles: Bearer of the Element of Loyalty. Aliases: none. Current residence: the ‘Cloudominium,’ Ponyville outskirts. General description: she’s another one of the six pony heroes. Recently inducted as a member of the ‘Wonderbolts,’ a semi-military stunt-flying group. She’s famous as the ‘best flier in Equestria,’ and is capable of reaching supersonic speeds in an event known as a ‘sonic rainboom.’ She also belongs to the Ponyville weather patrol, the pegasi responsible for regulating that town’s environment. Psych profile: she’s arrogant, hotheaded, violent, and extremely competitive. Unfortunately, as her title suggests, she’s also just as fanatically loyal to the current regime as Princess Sparkle, so I don’t foresee any successful attempts to suborn her. Next.”

An orange Earth pony mare. “Name: Applejack. Gender: female. Subspecies: Earth pony. Titles: Bearer of the Element of Honesty. Aliases: none. Current residence: Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville outskirts. General description: another of the six heroes. She works as a simple farmer, and lives with her elderly grandmother, older brother, and younger sister. Intriguingly, despite her status as a hero of the realm, she seems to be in perpetually dire financial straits. Psych profile: she’s almost as competitive and violent as Rainbow Dash, with whom she maintains a semi-friendly rivalry. She also has very ‘country values,’ placing great importance on a strong work ethic, loyalty to one’s friends and family, simple living, and, as per her title, honesty. I recommend sending a few of our Corellian Army troops to offer to help her around her farm. I expect she’d bond quite well with them, perhaps splitting her loyalties. If we can get Rainbow Dash to denounce us, or maybe even provoke her to violence against us, we may be able to play off their rivalry to put her firmly in our camp. Next.”

A white-furred, purple-maned unicorn mare. “Name: Rarity. Gender: female. Subspecies: unicorn. Titles: Bearer of the Element of Generosity. Aliases: none. Current residence: the Carousel Boutique, Ponyville. General description: yet another hero. A self-proclaimed fashionista, she produces her own highly successful clothing line and works as Ponyville’s resident seamstress – in more ways than one, according to some of the darker rumors, though we have yet to find any concrete evidence to support such claims. Psych profile: she’s extremely vain, far greedier than her title would imply, and known to use seduction to achieve her goals. Some of the ISB agents have suggested narcissistic personality disorder, but I don’t think her behavior is that extreme. Possibly histrionic, but not narcissistic. She’ll probably be the easiest to win over. I expect we’ll be able to convert her to our side with simple flattery and bribes. Next.”

A pink Earth pony mare. “Name: Pinkamena Diane Pie. Gender: female. Subspecies: Earth pony. Titles: Bearer of the Element of Laughter. Aliases: Pinkie Pie. Current residence: Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville. General description: another hero. She works as a baker for the Cake family – yes, really, she’s named Pie, her employers are named Cake, and they’re all bakers. She’s also a ‘party pony,’ meaning that she gets government funds with which to throw parties at her discretion, a trait she totally lacks. She possesses several abilities that the other ponies consider bizarre and indicate that she’s a powerful Force-user despite not being a unicorn, such as teleportation, personal levitation, precognition, and limited shapeshifting. Psych profile: totally insane. She’s almost totally incapable of focusing on anything for any significant period of time, she has a near-absolute fixation on parties, and is known to talk to people who aren’t there. Frankly, she’s too karked in the head for us to pin exactly what it is she has, but whatever it is, it’s bad. Some of the guesses have been attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and dissociative identity disorder. Personally, my credits are on schizoaffective disorder, but I’m not a psychologist. Regardless of what it is, though, she’s too messed up for it to really be worth our time interacting with her. Next.”

The yellow pegasus Aerin had ordered shot. “Name: Fluttershy. Gender: female. Subspecies: pegasus. Titles: Bearer of the Element of Kindness. Aliases: none. Current residence: a cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest. General description: the last of the six heroes. She doesn’t seem to have a steady job. Instead, she cares for a large variety of animals, occasionally accepting ‘bits,’ the local currency, in exchange for looking after other ponies pets. Most of the animals living at her home are undomesticated, but she has a strange ability to communicate with them like they’re people. Psych profile: she suffers from several phobias, such as mild acrophobia, mild nyctophobia, and moderate-to-severe anthropophobia – 'equinophobia,' I suppose – or possibly social anxiety disorder. She’s also as overwhelmingly nice as you’d expect from her title. I’ll personally make contact with her. If I can convince her that we aren’t all murderous psychopaths,” his gaze wandered around the table, pausing momentarily on Aerin, Malen, and Fanir’s corpse, “then I’m confident that I can get her to not take any hostile action against us, though I doubt she’ll be willing to outright turn against her friends. Finally, the reason we’re having this meeting here, instead of at our base on the planet’s surface.”

The image switched to the strange being whose appearance had prompted the Base Delta Zero order. “Name: Discord. Gender: male. Species: draconequus. Titles: Lord of Chaos. Aliases: None. Current residence: an alternate dimension. The closest thing he has to a permanent home in this dimension is Fluttershy’s cottage. General description: he –”

I’ll handle this one, Captain,” Malen interrupted. “You don’t have any experience with Force entities. He’s not quite the most powerful being I’ve ever heard about, but he certainly deserves an honorable mention. He also seems to have recently developed a formidable allegiance to the current regime, despite having once been one of their worst enemies. Even if we did somehow manage to convince him to switch sides, we wouldn’t be able to trust him not to turn on us for his own amusement. His favorite tactic is psychological warfare, though he can turn to his vast array of Force abilities if that fails. Those abilities include shapeshifting, telekinesis, extremely powerful mind tricks, and even transmogrification of his environment and opponents at will. He is extremely difficult to kill, having survived total dismemberment with ease. It’s theorized by the locals that the only way to kill him permanently is to somehow strip him of his powers and execute him while he’s helpless. There is a Force power that can strip someone of their connection to the Force, but unfortunately, I don’t know how to do it, and even if I did, I doubt that I’m powerful enough to successfully employ it against him. Instead, we’ll have to rely on surprise and overwhelming force – ‘force’ with a small ‘f.’ I’ve got the ISB working on the problem.

“Psychologically, well, doing normal psychoanalysis on a Force entity is… less than effective, though according to our ISB agents, an ordinary being with his behavior would probably be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and sadism. He’ll do anything in his significant power to break you mentally and make your life hell, just for his own twisted amusement.” He paused, the silence hanging heavy in the air. Several moments passed. “What, nobody wants to say, ‘Just like you, Inquisitor’? I’m disappointed! I was so looking forward to exercising my power again.” A few of the officers shot furtive looks at Captain Fanir’s charred corpse.

After several more seconds, he spoke up again. “So, I’m sure you all noticed the ‘Elements’ Captain Orramas mentioned. These ‘Elements of Harmony’ are six gems that have been heavily imbued with the Light Side of the Force. Together, they operate as a superweapon, and are Equestria’s first and last effective line of defense. They seem to be capable of whatever the current situation demands, from banishing Force entities, to encasing them in stone, to brainwashing, to – as we’ve seen – projecting powerful Force shields and repairing damage to the ponies and their environment. Fortunately, they’re only effective when working in conjunction, and they require suitable pony ‘Element-Bearers’ in order to function. If we manage to convince just one of those six ‘heroes’ to not work against us, we disable their biggest ace-in-the-hole. Of course, if we can find and destroy the Elements themselves, that would be even better.”

Orramas nodded. “In order, our priorities are the Elements, Discord, and Luna. None of the others present any threat that can’t be overcome through liberal applications of firepower. A final point. If we play our cards right, we might not be fighting alone when things almost inevitably collapse into warfare. As I mentioned before, most of the ponies don’t have very high opinions of the other sapient species that live on this planet. This has led to quite a bit of mutual resentment developing. The ponies have made significant efforts to improve relations in recent years, but the ISB is working on methods to undo that progress and present us as liberators from the tyranny of the ponies. You’ll be advised upon the finalization of any such plans. If nobody else has anything to add…? Then this meeting is adjourned. Long live the Emperor.”

“Long live the Emperor!”

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