• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen March 18th

BlackjackMLP


I'm new to this whole writing thing so try not to hurt my fragile feelings if I fuck up because I'm one special, special little snowflake.

T
Source

Button Mash is now an adult living in Manehattan and like every other stallion he's just trying to live his life. Unfortunately for him, his life has been hitting some bumps in the road, one of which may be on his doorstep.

Chapters (0)
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Comments ( 49 )
O1

i am likening this so far. please continue

Yes, please. Its short and sweet so far, i like the precept and initial idea, 2nd person is tough. I actually made an account just to tell you to keep going. If this plays out well, it could be really popular, and i wouldnt mind telling others. So long as the chapters reach about 2000 words and its loooong, or at least semi long. But again, so far 10/10

7113918 You made an account for this? shit... now I have to do it. haha 24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc46nvKsg81rwtoyuo1_500.jpg

7114186
Yep, made a name an everything, dont let me down:scootangel:

7114267 Honestly this only took me about an hour to do the 1,000 words with edits so 2,000 per chapter should be a breeze.

7114341
Cool, im looking forward to it, anyways im off to read some terracana. Just message me if you need me, to get the word out or anything :ajsmug: (shameless promotion of another story)

Great chapter, a bit short for my taste, but I understand it's just the first chapter! I'm really looking forward to more out of this story. Thumbs up and tracking :pinkiehappy:

Also, this isn't really anything major, but... and I could be wrong.. but I'm pretty sure this would be considered first person rather than second person right???

Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Apr 11th, 2016
Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Mar 28th, 2017

i love ButtonBelle stories. keep it up, man

7114650 hey, no problem. I just didn't want others to see the tag and just pass the story over it. Myself personally, I don't usually read second person stories but I saw this one and was like, "Eh, I'll probably hate, but I'll give it a shot." Man, was I wrong, the story is great and I almost passed it over. Great job again by the way and thanks for writing.

O1

i'm just wondering but why "yer?"
Great story none the less.

Keep it up, I'm looking forward to more.

7117507 Meh, it's just how I speak. I guess it came out on paper too. I went back and changed it just for you.
(and I added in a few more lines of dialogue in there to fill it out more near the bottom)

O1

7117585 well i had no problem with it by all means its your story i'm just asking cause i thought it was a joke of some kind but thx anyways.

Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Apr 12th, 2016
Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Apr 12th, 2016

7118055
Hey i just had a look and at the beginning of this chapter, i think there are some spelling mistakes such as the hooves plated filmly and you missed a word, me after snapped. I know i sound like a grammer nazi but hey, when i said i would support, i meant it! Also good job on the length this time, im looking forward to the rest, talk to you soon! Morning Star, OUT! PEACE!:moustache:

7120389 Yer I normally make a few typos when I write. Thanks for the notice man /)

7120481
No problem! Im just here to help! Morning Star, OUT! PEACE! :moustache:

Nice story so far. Keep it up.

9 out of 10 Spikestaches. You would have ten but it feels like the story is moving a tad bit to fast for me.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Great chapter once again. I have to say I was really wondering how you were going to be bring Sweetie Belle into Manehattan. The whole situation of Rarity opening a new store was a brilliant idea, as was Sweetie Belle using Buttons mother as a source of obtaining his address for Sweetie. Over all I thought the whole chapter was great, the dialog between Sweetie and Button is very fluid. You've done an awesome job with really portraying their personalities, Sweetie didn't grow up to be snob and.. well Button is Button, not much to be said about that. I personally like them playing "Marecraft" together after the few years they had spent apart. It seemed like a good hint at just how close of friend they were growing up. (What it just said is a short version but I can't really explain it in a better way. The words escape me.)

Overall great, great chapter. 10/10 would bang again.. uh I mean read. Yeah. I know. I'm not funny.

My only critique (and take this for what ever it's worth too you.) Would be: Separate the dialogue between characters. When characters speak with each other a new line of dialogue should be made, rather than having two character converse in the same paragraph. It can become confusing for readers and some may need to reread a sentence to understand what is actually going on or which character is physically speaking. Though this is just me picking at something. You are a great writer regardless.

Honestly though, as I said once before, I thought the dialogue between the characters was very fluid and easy to read so I followed it without problem.

Well I see chapter three is out so without further rambling. I'm off to read it as well.

As always thanks for writing and I loved this chapter.

P.S. if my comments are long and annoying tell me to shut up.

I'm back!

First I would like to say: The chapter lengths have been very healthy as in, they have not been annoying short like a very other stories I've enjoyed recently been reading... Then again, none of them have been short so far, so that was sort of redundant for me to say.

Secondly, release a chapter every fee days sounds like a hard schedule ro keep, but everyone is different. If you can keep these babies coming at this pace I'll keep reading them all the same.

So as for the story, I was a bit surprised with who the story progessedan this chapter. By that I mean with SweetIe snuggling up to Button, normally I would say that things escalated rather quickly. Seeing as that happened at the end of the chapter I see that as possibly leaving for an awkward beginning to chapter four... like a flustered Sweetie and/or Button???


Sething that aside, I thought the whole Rarity opening her big mouth about Sweetie having some what of a thing for Button to be very believable (What Sweetie has told Rarity is still unknow though, just that it must be something she doesn'twant Button to know.) Seriosuly, she seems like the type that would just blab about that type of stuff, so you nailed her spot on there! Great job :twilightsmile:

One thing I'm questioning is the towel. Why did she give him her used towel? If I were to guess or imagine, I think it would have something to do with him having her scent on him? Like as a show territory, so to speak. I'm probably just over thinking things but hey, it's fun to guess.

Again great chapter this time, as for critiques: The dialogue thing just as I mentioned in last chapter. Also like in the last chapter the conversation is fluid so I follow it pretty well.

Other than that, a few missing words and small grammar mistakes.

Well as always, thanks for writing and the chapter was great, I really enjoyed it!
10 for 10 :raritywink:

7126791 She gave him a used towel because there weren't any in the drawer, living alone he wouldn't need many and by that point they'd already gone through five of them. Looking back I guess that I should have specified the fact but I wrote that portion of the chapter at 3am on a cocktail of Whiskey and tea... I blame the tea.

7126814 yeah I'd blame the tea to, that stuff is never good for you when you to think straight.. lol for real though I honestly don't thing specify was necessary, I hadn't really considered the amount they had probably used and that he lived alone. The thought never crossed my mind.. to much tea on my behalf. Either way thanks for splian that.:derpytongue2:

O1

{I thought about who else could talking about me behind my back}
I think that might be an error just saying if you did not know
Still great story so far cant wait to read more :pinkiecrazy:

7127056 I need to start re-re-reading these things before posting them...

7126791
You can thank my input! I mentioned chapter length after number 1. You a story critic aswell?

7134625 I wouldn't call myself a critic, but I can see why I would be considered one by others. I just enjoy reading, writing and reviewing stories; as well as, offering advice and positive feedback when I read. So I suppose I am a critic, though I've never really considered myself one though.

Comment posted by MorningStarTheMage deleted Aug 5th, 2017

7134654
I get where your coming from, though i dont write. I have considered it, bit my idea's would be too outlandish, i prefer stuff with a more down to earth tone. Anyways i would love to check out a story of yours some time, bit right now, i gotta go chill and read some terracana, maybe we shall meet again in the next chapters comments section? I do hope so! Later, Morning Star out!

7134662 you wrote "MorningStar put! Peace!"....:unsuresweetie:
I'm sorry, I couldn't help but point it out I found it funny. :rainbowlaugh:

Hi! i want to let you know that i really love this story, and i added to two groups from this shipping, so more people could read it, keep going, this story is a masterpiece.

PS: sorry for the bad english, is not my native language, but i do my best to understand you great Fic

So..... sweetie doesn't find it strange button mash has a Mountain Dew can as a shower nozzle?

Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Nov 14th, 2016
Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Nov 15th, 2016

i'm sensing some fun times that are about to happen between these two. oh and thanks for getting back on this story

Good chapter, i laugh very hard, keep going with the story, this is a Masterpiece 11/10 - IGN

Awesome to see this update, good chapter. I really look forward to see what you up with next! 10/10

Comment posted by Die Pie WiM deleted Mar 8th, 2017
Comment posted by ButtonMash deleted Aug 5th, 2017
Comment posted by ButtonMash deleted Aug 5th, 2017
Comment posted by BlackjackMLP deleted Mar 28th, 2017

8015555 Thanks for the pointers man. I wrote and edited most of this story while drunk so I'm rewriting some stuff. The story was on Hiatus for a while due to me having a lot going on and hardly any free time but I'm hopefully going to start writing chapters on a more regular basis after next week.

Glad to see this history having a come back :yay: :heart:. But the other version was really good too (even if unfinished), so it would be cool to see available somewhere :unsuresweetie: , maybe as "Where Friendships Wither, New Things Bloom Ver 1" ? .

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