• Member Since 31st Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen September 21st

Zanem-Ji


Weird Lesbian. Military Pegasister. Founder of "Let's Make You Known!" Group. Lover of Video Games. Writer of Pony Words. Shazzam.

T

There is an invisible red thread that connects those who are destined to meet from the moment they are born. It does not matter of the time, the place, or their circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break...

The Red String was known to all of ponykind. When two ponies tied to each other by the red string finally met, they were inseperable. They lived long, fulfilling lives together, grew old, and hopefully, fell into eternal slumber soon after one another. Applejack and her lover were no different. At least...that was how it was supposed to be.

So what happens when soulmates are torn from one another far too soon?

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 6 )

Ooh!~ This was quite an interesting read, with a nice amount of feels sprinkled in. Lovely job here dear! Though, you might want to add in the R- uh, appropriate tag, just so there is no misunderstandings. I was thinking she had coupled with an OC when I first started reading it.

Like and Fave from Beastie!~ :heart:

7110541 Thank you for the like and feedback! I've also added the 'thing'. I wanted to keep the mare a secret until the end, but I can see the confusion that it presents.

7113427 *squee's silly* I had a feeling you were going for that! And I loved it! Even had me guessing~

Keep up the marvelous works, hon!~ :raritywink:

I liked this. You went for a rather creative (and unexpected) approach in a short but satisfying fic, and while certainly unusual, I admire that you ran with it. Part of making an out-there idea work I've found is the author simply embracing the idea they're running with through and through. Way to go for something different and, in fully investing in it, actually making it work.

Cute and sweet read in its own unusual way, and definitely worth a like and a favorite.

Oh, and also thank you for your service. My uncle's a retired doctor from the Air Force, so it's always a pleasure running across military members on the Internet, especially in things like the brony fandom. I'll try to check out more of your work when I get the chance. :twilightsmile:

Before I start, I just wanted to mention something. The short description for this fic was relevant but didn't really give much of a premise for the actual fic. The longer summary was good, though, so maybe you ought to try and incorporate some of the long summary into the short one? As a reader, I feel that would make it more of a teaser and encourage me to read more, because as it was I entered this a little skeptically.

There are spots where the actual fic itself needs some work, for example the overly long paragraphs which end up being a bit of a struggle to chew through and some instances where your grammar—the use of commas especially—and formatting lets you down a little. But overall, this was a very well written fic which leaves just enough to the imagination at the end while still wrapping it up nicely. If you were to come back and add anything to it, all I could say is perhaps make Applejack's last sentence much simpler, maybe just "Love you" or "I love too" to properly convey what a struggle it was to talk. Also, a bit more of an insight—only short, 100 words perhaps—into Tirek's attack wouldn't go amiss, especially in a oneshot which is already dealing with multiple time frames.

What!? I'm not crying!!! Not at all.... :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!