• Member Since 19th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago

Flammenwerfer


Auf Wiedersehen, fuckboi

T

Anon's first day in Equestria is full of surprises. In hindsight, he probably should've gone to the toilet before he arrived.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 42 )

The position before second!
Also, way to take the words of Faust way too literally. Goodness gracious eww.

Not gonna fav this, but gonna Thumbs up nonetheless.

Well, you actually wrote it. Shouldn't be surprised. Came out about how I thought it would.

>she trot to
TROTTED

>Just bring back whatever tissue you haven't used if you would be so kind.
FUCKING COMMA

> as she stared
ANON IS SUDDENLY A GIRL

>"Well how do you think they learn?!
COMMMAAAAAA AAAAAAAA

>No we do!
CCCOOOMMMAAAAAA

>he attempted to understand and synthesize all the information that was shared with him; he wasn't even sure he had to lay a cable anymore, and despite his greater judgement, the desire to know more intensified beyond his wildest imagination.
THIS SENTENCE IS A NIGHTMARE

>Anon only buried face into his hands.
FACE CONFIRMED FOR BURIED

>"Oh fuck me..."
COOMMMMAAAAA

>"Twilight how are you watching this!?" "Seriously Anon I don't see how this is a big deal.
COMMAAAS, THE RECKONING


milksnipe rating: i came 8 times. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:


EDITED BY THE GOOD HIE GROUP

So I'm guessing, from their lack of tampons, that they write their names in blood.

God damn it, I promised myself I would never read something like this again. Ever since the great anonpencil incident of 2016 I would never read something that would make me laugh my ass off ever again. Sorry people I failed my promise, now make me more humorous stories! Hop to it!

As much as he wished to return to his world at this very moment, there was one more thing that had to be dealt right now.

Missing the word 'with' between the words 'dealt' and 'right'.


"What..." Anon said, looking at where Twilight was looking and finding the earth pony—having finished baking a hot icicle—plopping down onto his haunches and pulling himself forward with his front hooves, dragging his shit-laden ass all over the street.

He's got worms...

Wtf is this? Wha-

with a bit of gin in my system.

Oh ok.
*continues with reading*

I was hungry when I read this.


...still hungry.

7111465
7111451
7111476
"DESIGNATED!" I said, laughing heartily. "A FUCKING WAGON WHEEL!" I added, tears of mirth streaking down my cheeks.

"FUCK YOU!" Rajay scowled back. "We have a fucking space program! We'll be a superpower by 2020!"

I howled even louder in laughter, just as an Indian might howl after as his asshole was burnt by the spicy curryshit he was taking on his designated street.
"Surely you're joking! You expect me to belive that you'll be putting men on the moon when don't even know to put the poo in the loo?"

"You've mocked my country for the last time! We'll show you!" Rajay screamed, walking away. His shoulders tensed, doubtless because he needed to shit in the street for the eighth time today.

Later, I was quietly asleep in my bed, when all of a sudden I was awoken by a sudden noise. It was a wooden-sounding rattling, something I could have swore I could recognize, yet I didn't until it was too late. My window shattered, a giant fucking wagon wheel coming spinning through the scattered shards like a whirling dervish, casting flecks of accumulated poo, no doubt accumulated As it rolled down through the designated shitting streets as it made its fateful way to me. I screamed as the wagon crunched into my torso, smashing my ribs and bursting my organs like the bloated corpses of dead children floating down the Ganges river. I think I soiled myself in that moment, but honestly I couldn't tell, partly because I was in too much pain and partly because the smell was already too bad. As coniousness drifted away from me and darkness closed in, it was almost as if the scattered mounds of shit that had been flung around my room were moving - no, dancing. I could almost swear I could hear their voices as they jigged up and down.

"Take the poo to the loo..." they seemed to whisper. "Take the poo to the loo..."

I want to agree with Anon, but in a setting where magic and mythical creatures are real, the prospect of an actual toilet-witch would be genuinely frightening.

I lost my shit. No pun intended,

Holy fuck, my goddamn sides are in orbit.

P o o i n a l o o
o
o
i
n
a
l
o
o

I think anonymous should be careful where he steps when dealing with ponies.

I wonder if he caused a shitstorm.

Jeez he should watch it or his name could be drug through the muddy street.

A word of advice. Never go outside when it's raining, you might get a bit dirty.

Ever seen a horrible pun? They are shitty.

From what I've seen, this is a beautiful, respected country on this planet of... fuck whatever this planet is... and you shit in the street!

Do not forget China. They shit everywhere maybe 30%. Even airplane and mall - Alley... The list go on.

True Story.

I'm crying Flam, that was brilliant!

Equestrindia may be a literal shithole... but at least it's not Smurfmalia

Well, that was kinda unexpected.
As shameless as I am, I'd probably have issues with this too. Can't change the way you were brought up over a minute.
Unless you can.
Huh.
A fun read anyway!

you guys...resorted to shitting in the streets because of a toilet witch

Eh. Seems legit.

I have been hooked for that description, too. Well next time I will know better.

Thank you Jesus for this meme

DESIGNATED
E
S
I
G
N
A
T
E
D

"I don't know why I'm asking this... but unicorns can use toilet paper. How do the other ponies, the 'earth ponies' and 'pegasus ponies,' as you called them, use the toilet paper? Can they even use toilet paper?" At that moment, an earth pony stallion happened upon the same, interesting street.

Twilight chuckled awkwardly, glancing over at the stallion having done his business in the distance.

"Well..."

"What..." Anon said, looking at where Twilight was looking and finding the earth pony—having finished baking a hot icicle—plopping down onto his haunches and pulling himself forward with his front hooves, dragging his shit-laden ass all over the street.

That just did it for me XD :rainbowlaugh: have 10 of these :moustache: and a like and fave.

My jaw hurts and my eyes got watery from laughing so much!

Equestria has a space program!

P O O I N L O O
O
O

I
N

L
O
O

Eww.

That is all I have to say.

So pegasi probably do the same as earth ponies just on nice white clouds and instead of dragging with fore hooves use wing power. :eeyup:

This is beautiful, truly a piece of modern art. Top notch.

poo in loo

SF1
SF1 #39 · Dec 14th, 2016 · · ·

7111989
>be pajeet
>2021
>India finally has a space program
>and you have just landed on the moon
>be the first indian on the moon
>so proud
>suddenly feel the need to shit
>nearest Designated shitting street is to far away
>you are smart though
>quickly with your feet you draw 2 lines about 3 meters away from each other
>achievement of being the first Indian to shit on the moon imminent

>be Rajesh
>co pilot to Pajeet on shitbox 1
>2nd Indian to land on the moon
>you see pajeet about to squat on what looks like a improvised street
>oshit.jpg
>An explosion of poo, blood and bone happens
>shit everywere
>all over the space craft
>in you shock you get back in and launch off back to earth
>the poo stains would not come off even in re entery
>after landing back in the ocean you briefed your government about what happened
>he was swarn to secrecy

>be Paul Jackson
>working at the ASIO
>the NSA guys let you watch the live feed from the seppos spy satellites of the landing of poo in loos on the moon
>see pajeet get out and draw too lines
>you knew were this was going
"DESIGNATED"
>an explosion of poo
>An unrivaled amount of keks was had by your co workers
>obtain a copy of video
>post directly to youtube
> 60 million views+
>india was never the same
>AbsoloutlyDesignated.png

Ouch, ouch! This made me laugh so hard I nearly woke my whole family up... Oooh my stomach, and sides.. This was hilarious! Gross.. but hilarious XD

DumbDog
Moderator

Ice Cream Sandhich and Spaghettios. It's all you can afford because you're from Alabam-o. Poor bumpkin.

What a shitty story.


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