"All life is only a set of pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those born of real things and those born of inward dreamings, and no cause to value the one above the other."
-H. P. Lovecraft, The Silver Key
Ever since the conflict with Nightmare Moon, Dusk Shine has been having strange visions. Visions of the future, visions of what could have been, and visions of things that don't make any sense. Will he unlock the mystery behind these anomalies that only he seems to be aware of? Or will his obsession combined with the lack of social experience break his new friendship with five extraordinary girls before it can even form?
One thing is for sure. this is more than just a simple retelling of Twilight Sparkle's journey.
Don't forget to take a look at the Appendix for expanded explanations on the lore of the world.
Inspired by Meme-asaurus' The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine and Psi-nova's Dusk Shine's Saga
Rated T for violence, some sexual humor and very mild language.
Great start!
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Aside with the OCD with Dusk, love how it all went thus far. Keep up the work.
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Sorry it took so long to get a reply in, thanks for the first comment btw. As far as Dusk's OCD goes, it's not going to be a major thing but it will pop up again every once in a while. The reason for it is because people are always joking about how Twilight has OCD in the show, but I can tell you right now, she doesn't. I on the other hand do and I kinda want to show people what OCD really looks like while giving my rendition of Dusk a character flaw at the same time. Like I said it's not going to be a focus of the whole story, maaaaaaybe a chapter if I can fit it in organically and depending on feedback, I may tone it down even further.
7226266 Alright sounds like a plan. Wouldn't won't to rush things.
Man, this is a fantastic story! Looking forward to more!
So Rome is playing matchmaker, trying to get Moon and Dusk together.
I'm liking this story. Keep it up.
Keep up the great work.
Though Rarity ever heard of personal space.
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Thank you guys for the encouragement. I hope to have the next chapter out soon.
Editor perchance?
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I actually had a guy who said they were looking it over for me, ForgottenBliss but they never responded back after I sent them my story link.
7303351 still need one?
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I have a friend double checking things for me, but I'm always open to suggestions from anyone.
7306635 ok. Keep on keeping on!
There seems to be a few mysteries waiting to be discovered in the nation...
I really hope you don't do hurds most people can't do them well (not saying that you can't) but if you do just make it believable.
Not bad. Got in more depth into AJ and character development. Love to see more.
I'm liking this story! A very nice deviation from the normal events to keep us on our toes.
These ciphers are also really cool and add a bunch to the mystery, consider me hooked7410361
Thanks, though why did you cross out that last part? Is it a reference I'm not getting?
Are the characters humanized?
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Yes, and without giving too much away, I'll simply say that everything is the way it is for a reason, and not just because I prefer it that way.
You have definitely caught my interest. This is one of the best alt Twilight stories I've read, keep it up!
Did you make the picture?
Two questions. One, is it weird that I really want to ship K'vaan with any of the girls? And two, is the DIE INSECTS thing a reference to a boss in world of Warcraft?
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No, it is promo art for xxangeluciferxx's amazing webcomic that's also set in the MLP universe. (sort of) I used it with his permission and erased human Spike since in mine, Spike is still a dragon.
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Nope. Personally, I believe a talented enough writer can ship anyone with anyone else and make it work. And yes I was kind of channeling Ragnaross right there.
then Rome will find out about Dusk female friend and try to get them all to tie the knot with him...
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He does love his job
Hmm...just asking but would thorax be able to make an appearance in this fic?
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I've thought about it, but if he does it would be down the line somewhere if you consider the timeline. He stayed with the hive until after the royal wedding. I don't want to just shoehorn him in but if I find a way to make it feel natural then I might.
Seriously, the Dryadic genealogy brings a whole new meaning to "I want to be a tree"...
7489711 Because severely overbalanced gender ratio is magic.
Okay, that has to be a cypher! Is it hexadecimal...? Questions and research (and deciphering) for later...
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I like putting new twists on classic memes. Funny thing is Flutter Brutter came out a week after I drafted that part of the story.
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It's a cipher yes and a fairly easy one if you know anything about different types of ciphers. I was inspired by the little messages at the end of Gravity Falls episodes and how you had to solve a puzzle to get a message that often left you with more questions than answers.
Hey! Thanks for the shout out! You got a charming story here, keep it up! And trust me, I know what you mean about episodes coming out and creating sotuations that have to be delt with. Flutter brother was a rumor during season 3 when I first heard of it, and while I've got plans, I kinda wish it had stayed gone.
Write on!
"Genital motion"? Golly...
Nice chapter- let's see those Auryn folk deal with THIS deviation from canon, eh?
This is really awesome.
This cycle thing peeked my interested. Like, what is happening with the whole "this should've happened" "you aren't supposed to be here yet" type stuff?
Only time can tell.
Onto the next chapter!
Take that Auryn!
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Seriously though.
This is the most interesting premise ever.
It follows the events of the show, but at some points just outright says "You know what?
Fuck it, I'll do this a different way. Screw you and your 'but that's not supposed to happen, don't do that' I'm gonna do it!"
The long short, good job m8.
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Wow, thanks! I love your story as well. Meme-asaurus' story may have given me the idea but yours was the one that made me realize that people would still read it even if it was done with humans.
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Ahem, yes well... that was a test and you passed! Congratulations! You get a free mustache
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They have a contingency, but it might not bode well for our heroes...
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You flatter me, but seriously. I hope what I have planned lives up to everyone's expectations. I don't think it's ever been done before, or at least I've never seen it done before.
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Well, it has far exceeded my expectations.
And further.
Bravo.
Continue on my wayward son!
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I have to say, I had my doubts.
But now, you've got me hooked!
...Sweet Luna, you quoted my favorite story by one of my favorite authors in the description - which isn't even one of his well-known works, I think. Even if I had no other reason (I do), I would put this in my reading list solely for that.
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Yea, I can't help but admire a guy who wrights stories where few characters (if any) die, has very little blood and gore, describes monsters that usually never make an appearance in the actual story and yet somehow STILL manages to be creepy as hell.
The quote itself may not seem related to the story at first but hopefully it will make more sense down the line.
Hello, what's this. I almost want this to be a flag about Minuette holding a grudge towards Dusk later on.
Well until you can catch a train.
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In the next chapter (which I will have out by the end of the day if it kills me) will fix that little plot hole. Suffice to say that all of Trixie's eggs were in that one basket.
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Eh, I wouldn't really call it a plot hole per se. If she left all her money in her apartment then she would be stuck until she could panhandle enough to get a ticket.
What an arresting development!
Well that certainly escaladed.
Poor Trixie, first absolutely humiliated, torched by a dragon, now arrested.
Now I'm even more interested in the whole business with that faceless creature and what Dusk Shine has to do with it all.