• Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Alex Warlorn


Just your average Brony who happened upon an idea that might actually turn out to be clever enough for guys to love.

T

The evil tyrant, the so called, 'Princess' Celestia has been defeated, and she will not at last be brought to justice for the raping of minds and souls, the destruction of peoples and their cultures and the murders of innocent beings in her mad pursuit for power/perfection/fear/greed/insanity/grief...

The tyrannical and evil 'Princess' Celestia is at last made to pay for her evil.

"So it would seem."

The tyrannical and evil 'Princess' Celestia is at last made to pay for her evil.

"That this will."

The tyrannical and evil 'Princess' Celestia is at last made to pay for her evil.

"Never end."

MADE IT TO POPULAR STORIES!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

Tut, tut, Princess, you forgot to mention the scenarios where Discord was the one trying to save everyone... despite literally all evidence saying otherwise.

I never knew this was her true nature... the first thousand times the loop repeated. But by the 1,001st time, I was convinced of it!!!

7105695

Tut, tut, Princess, you forgot to mention the scenarios where Discord was the one trying to save everyone... despite literally all evidence saying otherwise.

Another badly written piece on the pile ofI hate being thrown back and forth between the two extremes?

"I never knew this was her true nature... the first thousand times the loop repeated. But by the 1,001st time, I was convinced of it!!!"

I just keep seeing OOC Celestia be killed over and over and over in different works. And I thought, how to express what I FEEL reading those? To note, this is IC Celestia experiencing all this. Celestia isn't the type to deal with 'potential' threats, if anything, she's TOO SOFT in her preventive measures!

GKC

And there was that one where I woke up in Queen Chrysalis' body and saw myself with my sister condemning me to death for replacing 'Celestia' and engaging in this scheme.

I don't read or even like TCB fics generally, but I've never heard of this one. Which is it, and is that one any good at all?

7105718

Oh no, no, I understood all that. Also why the spoiler tag stuff was there.

To be perfectly honest, yeah, the trope's aged like a glass of milk left out in the middle of the summer for a month. Tyrantlestia this, Molestia that, combining the two... Sick of it. I get this is supposed to be IC Celestia mind-swapped into the OOC-verses to experience her execution as nightmares (essentially), but I wind up seeing her internal monologue as, to be frank, taking the piss out of every single one of those fics.

I just couldn't resist the opportunity to be a sarcastic idiot for a few seconds in my comment. Why else would the Death Eater Celestia be so prevalent--it's a meme that got where it is now through mindless repetition and regurgitation.

7105733

The ponies were their normal fanon level of incompetence when it came to armed conflict.

An unapologetic little smack down to some of the more, extreme fanon portrayals Celestia got saddled with unfortunately.

Geez, you're almost as bad as DC's live action movie department. When's the last time you wrote something intentionally funny? I mean I get it, your tastes, your account, you do whatever you want, but geez, lighten up.

Well then. Seems like a version of Nightmare Eclipse hopped on the Tyrantlestia bandwagon. Seriously, screw TCB. It's designed, almost on purpose, to prevent any other ending but this. Hopefully Amicitia will get to this one someday soon, or earlier or....grammar for those outside of time is weird

7105992

Oh I agree. Totally and utterly. And it's actually in-character-Celestia being subjected to all this. Thank you for the comment!

Hopefully this isn't a reflection of anything going on irl with you. If so, you're in my prayers(aside from the usual thanking God that I found your works).

Truth be told, I do have some precedence, like the nightmare where Equestria thought I was madly in love with tea instead of cake, and I couldn't stand the taste. And when I said as much, my sister, and Twilight, her friends, and her brother, all thought I was Chrysalis in disguise and attacked me all at once, then thought I had been corrupted by Discord and made relive every moment I'd tasted tea all at once to 'cure' me.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/34/c8/13/34c813637d9d9daa105ffa3e062ebeca.jpg

Interesting. This helps me dispel feelings that I don't feel better for feeling. Thank you, have a like :twilightsmile:

7105959 Dude i get you want a comedy, but he not going to be a comedy mood 24/7 especially for a story meant to be taken seriously.

7106515

Yes, I get that, I just can't remember the last time he wrote something happy.

Alex for my health please give me a warning before adding fics like these to Protect Celestia. I would rather not have a panic attack when I wake up in the morning.

Ok I'm all for poking fun at all the tropes and memes you referenced, but yesh... some could say you hate Celestia but constantly torturing her in a manner far worse than physical pain.

7105733 As Alex said, standard incompetence. Which is SAD given the concept of it being Chrysalis who instigated the CB conflict to her own ends has TONS of potential as a story, but was wasted on yet another tired Take That at the CB premise.

Honestly? I think the problem with TCB was the writer's poor execution, and the premise itself has potential if handled by a good writer who can make it clear it's considered a tragedy by both sides and turning humanity into ponies really IS a last resort neither the Equestrians nor humanity wanted, but have run out of every other option.

But no, instead everyone else just writes the same, tired deconstruction fics instead of an actual, well written Fix Fic to address and fix the problems with the original stories.

Nuanced #18 · Apr 8th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Ok look, I get the sentiment, I hate seeing Celestia pointlessly bashed, I hate seeing humans being portrayed as unstoppable badasses, I hate Equestria being portrayed as weaker than it could possibly be and I hate the Conversion Bureau. Believe me I understand how frustrating it is to see these stupid clichés thrown out over and over again and I understand how frustrating it is that no one else seems to realise how stupid they are and in fact actually praise them. Believe me I get it. But this isn't a story it's a rant. There is little to nothing of Celestia's character and no real plot. It would have been more effective to show us ponies acting weak and stupid, people calling Celestia evil no matter what she does etc etc. The idea of the real Celestia having to live through all the different evil Celestia's bodies is an interesting idea and I'm not to upset that it's just a rant when the opposite side is so prevalent but I still think this isn't as good as it could be.

7105718 You can't say she's soft with her punishments though. Discord was apparently conscious while he was in stone, sent her sister to the moon for 1000 years, turned King Sombrero into a literal shadow, and in the comics, Chrysalis got those holes from Celestia.

Sealed Evil in a Can quadrupled.

I agree, ponies are not as weak as some people portray them as, some authors also go overboard as far as how powerful humans are and they are are a bit paranoid about how sinister most conversion bureau stories really are.

But that doesn't mean I think all conversion bureau stories are right though, one of the more popular authors of those type of stories has a very negative view of humanity as a whole, coloring the whole view of any story created in that universe, one bad apple ruins the bunch as they say.

That's not a discussion for here though, so I apologize.

Rarity Learns to Mind Her Own Business 2: Celestia Learns as well.

To be fair, a lot of those TCB fics were written before the S5 finale. Why is that so important? Because that episode gave us the Sombra Timeline. You know, the one where Equestria faced armed conflict from an enemy army (that was not a surprise attack) for the first time on the show. And what did we see? Equestria as an advanced industrial society shifting to war-time production. With factories and assembly lines cranking out the supplies needed to keep a massive war-effort going. Ponies creating new technology (like RD's awesome prosthetic battle-wing), ponies learning and adapting their own magic to give them an edge on the battlefield (Pinkie and Maud crushing those boulders.) Against possibly the greatest dark wizard who ever lived, who seems to be adding to his ranks with magical mind control of downed soldiers and possibly using the Crystal Heart to psy-ops attack the morale of Equestria. Clearly Equestria can learn, and Equestria can fight.

The only thing I would argue with is Celestia having a "solar-flare" spell. There were plenty of excuses for Celestia to have secret overwhelming power that she held back in her fight against Chrysalis, back in season 2. And maybe I buy that she was still in her palace so was holding back again against the chaos vines in season 4. And she couldn't beat Tirek, he was teamed up with Discord. But we saw 5 different timelines where Celestia got beaten by pretty much every villain, one of another. We even got to see Celestia lead an attack, and choose to fight in the center of the battlefield, wielding her shield and blasting with her horn. What did we not see? Any magic more powerful than that. Then let's not forget the S6 opener, where Celestia is trying to drive away incredibly thick cloud cover over the Crystal Empire, and fails. If she'd had overwhelming sun magic to blast those clouds as the city was being evacuated, that would have been the time to do it. But she didn't, and any reasonable analysis at this point is going to have to conclude its because she couldn't.

Let's face the facts, Celestia doesn't have any more powerful magic than we actually see her wield, shields and horn-blasts. A single absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but absence of Celestia wielding powerful magic when it could have saved the day on 9 separate occasions with widely differing circumstances? Yeah, that is pretty conclusive evidence of absence, as in Celestia's super solar flare/ability to obliterate a city with her magic just doesn't exist.

Equestria has been kept safe and free not by Celestia personally beating the crap out of any army that appears, but by the brave, adaptive and prepared EUP. (That and the natural borders of two oceans. And the ultimate deterrent to any rational being that if Celestia is taken out, the sun will stop moving. Those 3 reasons.)

7108006

That is your opinion.

And to be frank? If Celestia had used more raw power against Chrysalis, she'd have killed the ponies inside.

I don't consider the nonsense with the deer's vines canon. The plumder vines were made by DISCORD.

And Celestia's refusal to kill is what holds her back. And why Luna is a better war time leader than her.

7108025 How many spells have we seen cast by Twilight, Trixie and Starlight that are both pretty dang powerful and have no collateral damage? Imagine an infant Chrysalis from an age spell, or a Chrysalis trapped in a crystal, etc. Apparently Celestia couldn't imagine that.

Deer vines aren't canon because comics aren't canon when they are contradicted by the series, and we've already seen in the show deer are not sapient. Sure, the Plunder vines were made by Discord, so that could make them more powerful than an alicorn. In some ways, you could argue they are the Chaos' counterpart to the Elements of Harmony or Rainbow Power. But Ponyville itself was able to hold of the plunder vines a lot longer than Celestia or Luna (who also couldn't drive back the clouds, let's not forget, but is still always able to beat her sister both times when she turns evil).

I agree, Celestia doesn't kill (I would argue that things like binding someone in shadow and throwing them in a frozen crevasse for a thousand years is actually a far crueler punishment than death, but that's a different argument). But that means you're saying she knows no magic other than basic horn blasts, a personal shield, and terrible lethal magic like some kind of solar blast. And really, there's no way to use a solar flare spell in any way that is not totally lethal, even with intense planning over a multi-year conflict with Sombra? No melting glaciers to cause floods and disrupt supply lines of the Crystal Empire? Sombra was flying wildly around the battlefield, why didn't Celestia ever go and confront him personally? I suspect it's because she realized he had a plausible chance at beating her in a one-on-one fight.

I actually thought we were going to see a solar blast in the S6 premiere. They had already evacuated the Crystal Empire's population to the train station at the very edge of town. The remaining ponies were in the heavily fortified palace, with the three best shield-makers in Equestria inside. Celestia flies up to the top of the frozen thick clouds and manages to briefly break through to the sunny skies above. If she'd had the solar flare, this would be the perfect time to use it, burning away the clouds while at the same time not burning all the way through to the ground below, it would be the perfect set of circumstances all lined up so Celestia could use her fanon-dreamed secret powerful magic without collateral damage and no one getting hurt. But she didn't, even as she and Luna were collapsing and unsure if the civilian population was going to be able to evacuate after all, Celestia didn't try and use her "solar blast," and neither did Luna even suggest it.

Honestly, I'm not even sure how powerful a solar flare would be from the Equestrian sun. It's the size of the moon, so it's ability to emit heat and radiation has to be proportionally scaled down from the real sun.

I agree about Luna being the better fighter and the "war-leader," though. At least in the comics, she goes out at night and fights manticores, but calls in her own guard for backup when she fights an owlbear. Personally, I think Celestia could take a manticore in a fight as well.

Alright,

Well written, even as an avid TCB reader, I enjoyed this fine work.

However,
I can't help but realise that this is a rant against TCB stories in the form of a story. Without taking into consideration the plain and simple fact that their headcanons are different from yours, you can contest this, but I really don't care too much.
As I said, very well written, better that anything I've tried to write, but still just a rant under the guise of a fimfiction story.

Have a nice day,

Lesser Grammar

Yeah, sometimes i think those people must be missing half of their brain to write such stupid fics.

7411269

Not so much stupid, as simply thinking that nice and sweet Celestia being evil, misguided, etc, is a 'shocking' twist somehow, or see it as a necessary part of this fanon... which really now has nothing to do with humans becoming ponies, and everything to do with ponies getting their butts kicked by humans.

This story is weird, a bit blunt and I like it. Good work Alex Warlorn.

To ACB lovers out there: If people want to masturbate that humanity "fuck yeah" is awesome, great! I like humanity. Go us! Doing it in a crude way? No one is stopping you (fucking hypocrites circle jerk brigand other people's work can fuck off and grow up) and no one is making you read other people's work. Neat? Neat.

7411933
My main problem with many if not all of the Anti Alternate Conversion Bureau stories here is that they never get finished. Like the original one done by Blaze... never finished. Cannon, fannon and out of character I can work with. No ending bothers me. Maybe I'm wrong and there are some other finished stories other the Rated Ponystar's so-so work on it. Sorry. My life and time is too short to bother at this point swimming though these unfinished messes.

7105733 7106809
Pardon me for being late to the party. Here are three writers that did The Conversion Bureau well: Chatoyance, Krass McWriter, Windchaser

7447083

I have nothing against humanity being badass. I hate don't like it at the expense of others. The irony is that as much as seeing ponies get slaughtered by their own ineptitude and humanity being simply superior in every possible way, I DON'T mind strangely when the yokai in Yu Yu Hakisho and Inuyasha gets their arrogant butts handed to them.

7448090 Know of stories which a few human and ponies team up to kick ass and take names. Was wonder this: Do you know any stories in which the whole of humanity and ponity (and those other talking, thinking races on their world) team up to be awesome? Like Star Trek or... really can't think of any good examples.

7448600

Imagine if they finally did a crossover proper with Equestria Girls.

7448616 O h s n a p . . .

ERROR_FILE_NOT_FOUND

Abort, Retry, Fail?

Retry

Oh snap, that would be something wonderful or awful! My imagination is not always my friend. Still, not a bad thing to hope or wish for. Wonder who yo would have to ask? The producers, directors and writers of MLP:FIM would be the ones? Do not envy them then.

ERROR_SUCCESS

7448652

I get they want to keep the shows separate. But a crossover isn't going to ruin the cartoon.

7613054

I hate Anti-CB. It's been done to death. We'd had plenty of deconstruction. Where's the reconstruction already? http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Reconstruction

This to me just proves that TCB shouldn't exist period.
The whole concept is vile, as is the vitriol it provokes.

7680991

I think it would have been fun with former humans dealing with loss of old and gaining new instincts. And if the barrier was purely a natural disaster, and there was no evil scheme.

Comment posted by SomeRandomMinion deleted Oct 30th, 2016

7681092 I don't.
Extinction is extinction, period.

TCB is a vile concept; as bad as the backlash it created...and misanthropy it encouraged.

(I will reiterate that Chatoyance CREATED the idea of Equestria coming to Earth ON PURPOSE, and portrayed the brain-altering if humanity and ponies burning books to erase huamnity's history and technology as a GOOD THING.

Humans not having souls? Also her idea.)

7761934 What? Those are the facts.

7761937

I know you hate it. That is a fact.

But calling it 'vile' is an OPINION!

7761957 I disagree. I hold that it is OBJECTIVELY vile.
A = A.

Really, the whole premise is, at its core, "Being Human is a Death Sentence".
How is that NOT vile?

7761965

You make me wonder how the apes felt when these freaky hairless mutants began popping up.

7761997 ...Seriously? What does that even mean?

7761997 Just...explain what you mean by that.

The point is, my ponies apparently showed no ability to learn, no ability to evolve, no ability to develop new tactics, no ability to abandon old ones, no ability to develop new magics or new equipment, the list goes on.

This is also plagued almost all fics that set in 'future'. No matter how much time passed - Equestria always stays the same. Hundred, two hundred of five hundred years? Nothing changed. Ponies simply too stupid to create something new. Up to a one fic that happens to be twenty thousand years after canon... And ponies biggest achievement there? They create TV and cell phones. Tried to argue with an author that it just ridiculous but... "They just not as smart as humans".

8148853

Reminds me sadly of Breath of the Wild where 10,000 years after developing the divine beasts, Hyrule is STILL in medieval stasis even BEFORE Calamity Ganon hit!

8148872
Sometime I think that writers (professional and fanfiction one) simply unable to grasp just how big this massive time periods is.

8148921

Also, it's pretty clear ponies just advance in DIFFERENT WAYS! Considering the recent invention of the steam engine.

8148928
Well, I'm fairly sure that they also have some sort of compact combustion or electric engines that they used on carts in "The Cart Before the Ponies". Because IMO they clearly not muscule-powered.
And hell! Two-thirds of their entire population lack any means of precise item manipulation and they still able to create machine civilisation. That alone in my opinion worthy of respect.

Login or register to comment