• Published 7th Apr 2016
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The Sunlight Theory - Space Jazz



After the disaster that was her Sunlight Project, Twilight Sparkle somehow stumbles into scoring a date with Sunset Shimmer. She isn't ready.

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Literary Theory

“So you and Sunset are a thing now, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked as she messed around with her guitar’s tuning pegs.

I nodded, albeit a little too enthusiastically. Sunset, my girlfriend—which felt great to say—did the same, except hers was a small, gentle nod of acknowledgement. She sat to my right, the Rainbooms’ songbook on her lap. The rehearsal was slow, plodding along as Sunset helped me catch up with my vocal parts. She hummed along with the notes as I deciphered the lyrics that were written in chicken scratch.

“Uh, why is the only lyric in my part, ‘Hey’?” I asked, taking the book. Looking over the rest of the song, I found myself biting my tongue to keep from commenting on the weak lyrics and rhyme structure.

Rainbow Dash leaned in closer, almost getting in my face. “Just what are you getting at? You’re not going to try to split up the band with your ‘artistic input,’ are ya?”

“You do realize she’s in the band, right?” Rarity cut in. “She has a right to give any input she wants.”

Rainbow Dash strummed her instrument, only to cringe once she realized the guitar was still painfully out of tune. “And whose idea was it to get her to join?”

“Yours, dear,” Rarity said, snatching away the guitar from Rainbow to adjust the tuning. “Remember, you put it up to a vote last week?”

“Oh, yeah…” she conceded. With a cautious glare, she turned to me. “Just don’t get any ideas, newbie!”

Sunset Shimmer shot me a playful wink. “That reminds me. Twilight and I have decided to cut ‘Awesome as I Wanna Be.’”

Rainbow Dash balled her hands up into fists. “You can’t just do that! We need to vote on these kinds of things.”

Setting down her bass, Applejack chuckled before patting Rainbow’s back. “Ya do realize they’re joking, right?”

“Of course I do!” Rainbow Dash said, defensively glancing at the others. “I was just playing along.”

“Although,” Rarity cut in, “I do have some ideas for a tune we could play instead.”

Rainbow scowled. “You know we can't cut it.”

“We can't, or you won't?”

“Both, either, take your pick.”

Giving up on the argument, Rarity rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Rainbow Dash’s guitar, comparing the out of tune notes to her own keytar, which couldn’t go out of tune. “I’d like to get something productive done today.”

“Or!” Pinkie Pie cut in, slamming down her sticks against the snare drum. “We could just take the period off on the occasion that we just have to celebrate CHS’ new cutest couple!”

“I don’t think we need to do that,” I said, forcing myself to stare at the ground to hide any sudden blush that may have appeared. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Oh,” Sunset chimed. “So, I’m nothing, am I?”

“What?!” I shot up, my heart nearly stopping. “That’s not what I—”

The smirk on Sunset’s face told me everything I needed to know Flustered, I crossed my arms. “C-can we just start rehearsing or something?”

Sunset, sitting down to my right, wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “I'm only kidding.”

“She’s right, though,” Rainbow said. “The sooner we finish, the sooner I can start Harshwhinny’s book report.”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Isn’t that due tomorrow?”

“Yeah, and? All I have to do is BS a thousand or so words that the tree is really a—”

•·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·☀·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·•

“A penis,” Lemon Zest said, her voice deadpan and her face scrunched up. “You practically gave her a penis as a gift.”

“What?” I asked, feeling my face heat up. “How? What are you even talking about?”

Lemon pursed her lips, looking over at the other Shadowbolts who were trying their best to keep composed. “You do realize that a cactus is a phallic symbol, right?”

“W-what?” I stammered, feeling my stomach tighten.

“You ever read poetry?” Sugarcoat asked. “It’s, like, there all the time.”

Lemon hummed. “Sug’s got a point. Anything with fruit, trees, or flowers has a sexual connotation to it. It’s basic literary theory.”

“It’s in art, too,” Sugarcoat added, “like that one artist who paints roses that look like hoo-has.”

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. “You guys are looking too deep into this.”

“Yeah, Sunny’s right. Sometimes a cactus is just a cactus,” Sour Sweet argued. “It’s not like Twilight’s telling her girlfriend that she wants to ride her like a stallion.

“Only implying,” Sugarcoat cut in.

The rest of the girls laughed at the comment. However, I found myself looking away from them, choosing to admire the Crystal Prep rose garden, one of the few gorgeous areas the school had, which was also now completely ruined by my literary sexual awakening.

Still, I found myself admiring the beauty of the pink roses and the thick, intricate folding of the petals. They swayed gently in the wind, intertwining and basking in the radiant glow of the sunlight.

“As the fainting bee, Reaching late his flower, Round her chamber hums, Counts his nectars —enters, And is lost in balms!” recited Lemon Zest.

If I remembered correctly, she was reciting “Come SlowlyEden!” Judging from the way my face heated up, I was blushing furiously, only fueling the laughter from the other girls.

“I hate you all,” I muttered under my breath facetiously.

“We’re only teasing, Twilight,” Lemon said. “But you have every right to blame Crystal Prep’s poetry unit. I just had to find a way to apply it to life. It also helps that you are so fun to tease.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, immediately biting my tongue.

Lemon laughed.” It’s just that you have the cutest little blush whenever you get bashful.”

“I what?” Instinctively, I covered my face, trying to figure out what exactly she meant by that.

“You get all red and doe-eyed,” Sunny Flare chimed in. “It’s actually kind of endearing to see you get all worked up like that.”

I held my hand to my face, not really knowing what to do. There was a slight lull in the conversation, which was most likely my fault since I had no idea what to say.

Indigo Zap slapped my back “But look at you, Twilight! You’ve got yourself a smokin’ hot girlfriend. You’re certainly doing better than some of us here.”

Sunny scoffed. “I told you guys that I’m waiting until college.”

“Likely story,” Sour Sweet commented. “Still doesn’t explain your blog posts.

“That’s the last time I let you borrow my computer,” Sunny groaned, shooting a glare at Sour Sweet, who only stuck her tongue out in return.

“Hey, be grateful,” Sugarcoat cut in. “She probably found your stash but decided to keep it to herself.”

“In more ways than one,” Sour Sweet added. “It’s all in a flash drive named the ‘Spank Bank.’”

It was at that point where I began to tune out the others. I chose to look at my phone, only to find out that Sunset had sent me a text:

“I found a good place for the cactus. Tho I wouldn’t mind if u checked it out. Maybe Saturday?”

“Why do you have that doofy look, Twilight?” Indigo Zap asked. I looked up only to catch her cheeky grin just as she punched me on the shoulder lightly. “Come on, girl. Spill the tea!”

I passed over the phone. “My girlfriend invited me to her place Saturday.”

Lemon Zest snatched my phone from my fingers, looking over the text message. “Oh, yeah, she totally wants to have sex with you.”

“What?!” I tried to reach for it, only to have my hand swatted away.

“Look, she brought up the cactus. She clearly knows what’s up.” Lemon smirked. “It’s basic litera—”

“Can you not?” Sunny Flare quipped.

•·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·☀·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·•

There was a slight bounce in my step as I made my way to my parents’ home office. It was a small, compact room where my mom and dad kept a massive media library. I found myself getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices.

It was no surprise that my second date with Sunset would only piggyback off the success of the first. But this time, Sunset and I decided to play it safe and have a simple movie night. She would supply food and a TV, and I was in charge of movies.

Now if only I could pick just one.

Years of collecting films led to a shelf that most likely had a collective running time that rivaled the hours I was alive. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it was still a lot of movies to pick from, and that was not even counting the movies I kept on a flash drive where I kept everything.

I decided on narrowing it down by genre. I was too squeamish for horror movies, so that was out. Romance was a bit too on the nose. Comedies were a safe bet, something mindless for a late night sleepover.

Maybe I could get away with a romantic comedy.

I decided on two comedies and a drama, and I only picked the last one because it was my favorite movie that my parents had written together.

Cosmic Conversations was a quiet, understated movie about a crew of six of astronauts stationed on the International Space Station. Although it was an ensemble cast, it focused on Starry Skies, a recently divorced flight engineer who isolates herself from society, believing that there’s no place left for her on Earth. Eventually, she’s coaxed out by Commander Gaea, learning to open up and eventually deciding to travel the world to find a place to fit in.

Needless to say, it was more of an art house film than a blockbuster. Still, it was a critics’ darling, netting my parents Academy award for “Best Original Screenplay.”

It also didn’t hurt that I was born sometime during the movie’s filming stage, earning my name in the “Production Babies” credits.

Although, I would have been fine without the newspaper with the headline “A Star is Born” hanging in the office.

I stuffed the DVDs into my backpack and slung it over my shoulders. Satisfied with my choices, I made my way down the hall and the stairs, my hands squeaking on the handrails from the friction. Stopping just short of the living room, I caught parts of a hushed conversation—a rather tense one—and I found myself eavesdropping on the conversation, leaning over just enough to see what was going on without getting spotted.

“Yes, I understand,” my father said, his brow creasing. “No, it’s not a problem. We can find someone else.”

Hanging up the phone, my dad sighed heavily and turned toward my mother, who had her hands held against her forehead.

“Principal photography starts in three weeks, hon,” my mom scolded.

My father sighed. “I know, Vel, but you of all people should know how much of a perfectionist Yearling is.” He reached for a coffee cup and groaned once he realized it was empty. “She’d rather tank the whole production than get a Daring she doesn’t like.”

I stood at the base of the stairs, watching as my parents argued back and forth. Gripping the railing, I kept silent, too afraid to ask for a ride to Sunset’s apartment given their stress.

“Where in the world are we going to find another Daring?”

“An open casting call?” he suggested. “It blows the surprise, but I don’t think we have a choice.”

“I think I know someone,” I piped, a slight crack in my voice. “How about Spitfire?”

My mother jumped up from her seat. “Oh, Twilight! I didn’t catch you there. Your father and I were just talking business.”

“Is the movie in trouble?” I asked.

“Nah,” my father answered calmly, sitting up and easing off a slouch. “I mean, it's a setback I'd rather avoid, but we'll manage if we play our cards right. So… why Spitfire?

“ I know she hasn’t really done much, acting-wise, but I think she can pull it off.” I stared down at my shoes. “She’s funny, charismatic, has drawing power, and, best of all, she’s a huge fan of the books.”

I pulled my phone from my pocket and rushed over to my parents as I pulled up a screenshot of Spitfire’s MyStable page where she donned a Daring Do costume for Nightmare Night. It was actually a pretty intricate costume despite being homemade. The comments section even blew up as people pieced together sentences across all the books with the details on the costume.

My father looked towards my mom. “It’s worth looking into.”

“I’ll send Yearling the picture,” my mother said. “What was Spitfire in again? Just so we can get some samples to send. I’d rather get an okay from Yearling before we make any more commitments.”

I bit my lip. “Uh… voicework as Zapp in the Power Ponies cartoon. She was also Special Agent Blaze in Mareami Vice. It’s a supporting role, but she was really funny in the episodes she’s in.”

“We’ll use that one,” my mother said, bringing in her laptop closer. “We’ve been looking for an excuse to watch it, right, Lighty? We can call it research.”

My father only chuckled. “At least set up a meeting first. At this point, we’re a little pressed for time.”

“Already done,” she said. “Sent an email to her agent.” My mother smiled cheekily before turning the screen for us to see. “Opportunity of a lifetime. Audition tape due tomorrow by six. Info attached. Don’t mess this up.”

“Good,” my father said. “The last thing we want to do is look desperate.”

“Aren’t we?” I asked, skeptically raising an eyebrow.

He nodded. “Well, of course, but they don’t need to know that.”

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and immediately remembered what I was here for. Sure enough, Sunset texted me, confirming our order of pizza and whether or not we could get it carried out or delivered. I sent my response, letting her take her pick and turned back to my parents.

“Hey, Mom, Dad, I’m going to Sunset’s now.”

“Have fun, sweetie,” my mom answered back.

I cocked my head, “That’s it?”

“What? Do you need a ride?”

I bit my cheek. “I’m going to my girlfriend’s apartment to stay the night. Y’know, just two unsupervised teenagers. This is the part where you tell me to stay safe, say no to drugs, and not come back pregnant or something.”

“Well there you go,” she said, chuckling. “You seem to have it all figured out. Now about that ride…”

•·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·☀·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·•

“Oh,” Sunset hummed. “I was expecting the pizza guy.”

“Great to see you too, Sunset.”

Chuckling, Sunset brought me into a tight hug before ushering me into the apartment.

For our second “date,” we decided to keep it just as casual and relaxed as Sunset looked in her sleepwear, a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Her hair was tied up, a sort of messier version of the bun I usually wore.

“So where’s the cactus?” I asked, holding back a chuckle.

She chuckled lightly before pointing out the window, where the cactus sat out on the fire escape, basking in the remaining light before the dusk settled in.

“I was going to put it on my bedside table, but then I realized it was right next to my alarm clock, and that was basically an accident waiting to happen.”

I laughed, which came out as a slight wheeze and a snort.

“So what’d you pick?” she asked, making her way over to the couch.

“Oh, just some comedies and another movie I hold close to me. It’s not as funny as the other two, though, but I have some more on a flash drive if you don't like any of the choices.”

“Neato,” she said, gesturing for me to join her on the couch. “Just put on whatever you want. I‘ll just go along for the ride.”

—☀—

“Just once I want my life to be like an ‘80s movie.”

You and me both, I thought, responding to the movie’s leading actress.

“Preferably one with a really awesome musical number… for no apparent reason.”

“Ugh, same,” I said, earning a slight giggle from Sunset. She sat off on my side, strangely sitting on her haunches. I tried to do the same but quickly found my legs falling asleep. A plastic bowl of popcorn sat in front of her, and she would lazily reach in, grab a handful, and shovel it into her mouth, not caring about the loose pieces falling from her grip.

I found myself watching Sunset’s reactions to the film, barely making out the scowl on her face as the queen bee archetype harassed the protagonist under the soft glow of the TV. She shifted in her seat before leaving the room and coming back with a can of soda.

Just a little while after, Sunset’s phone rang, and she immediately dove toward it, turning off the stock ringtone. She smiled sheepishly before muttering under her breath.

“Did you say something?” I asked.

“It’s eleven-eleven,” she said, her voice low. “Make a wish.”

The second half was barely a whisper.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing,” she dismissed. “Just some stupid thing Pinkie showed me. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” I said, leaning over closer to her. “You set a reminder for some reason.”

“Just to… get Pinkie to stop texting me at this hour.” She fiddled around with her phone. “Although sometimes, I find myself making a wish… you know… ‘cause I feel like she can tell if I don’t. It’s silly.”

“It’s not,” I reassured. "I think it's nice."

—☀—

Yawning, I placed the second movie of the night back in its box. “What time is it?”

Sunset, sprawled out on the couch, lazily groped around for her phone. There was a small, almost painful ray of light, which caused her to wince as she checked the time. “Half past midnight.”

“Wow, it’s late. We should probably go to sleep.”

Sunset groaned. “Come on, we could do one more.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t think I can stay up any longer.”

“Neither can I,” she said. “It’s just… the background noise helps me sleep.”

Unsure if I could power through another movie, I thought about it. There was really no harm in watching another movie, so I simply just shrugged and went along with it, digging into my bag for the last movie of the night.

I had always loved the disc art for Cosmic Conversations. It was a simple, elegant design of the two leads, Starry Skies and Gaea, floating off on opposite sides of the disc.

Despite my legs falling asleep a minute ago, I stumbled to the DVD player again, putting in the last movie for the night and fully knowing that we had no chance of finishing it before we succumbed to the inevitable embrace of sleep.

“I bet I can stay up longer than you,” she said, powering through a yawn.

“You’re on,” I answered back, hitting play on the remote before slumping down on a recliner next to the couch, forcing it into a laying position.

She lost. Or, at least I thought she did. It was hard to tell because I was fighting my own battle against sleep. In the end, it didn’t really matter.

But what I knew for sure was that neither of us got through the opening credits.

•·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·☀·.·´`·.·•·.·´`·.·•

Sunset must really like oatmeal.

Like, really like oatmeal.

Sunset’s pantry was bare, and I began to wonder where she got the time to go grocery shopping while balancing school and the Rainbooms. I dug around the stockpile, pushing past the pasta bags, soup cans, and the abundant boxes of cereal (most of which oat-based). Finding nothing else, I grabbed a container of instant oatmeal and went back to preparing breakfast for the both of us.

My parents often joked that my cooking skills, combined with my eating habits would serve me well through college. And as it turned out, they were referring to the fact that I only ate to keep myself alive, and when I did eat, it was mostly cereal, instant ramen, and the occasional pizza delivery if pressed for time.

They also said that I would leave the world at forty years old, due to cholesterol problems, but not without making a monumental discovery that advances humankind as a whole.

I still don’t know how to take that.

Stirring the oatmeal, I looked over to the living room, where Sunset Shimmer was still sleeping. Sometime in the middle of the night, she had rolled onto the floor—or halfway on the floor as her legs were still somewhat on the couch.

I had considered waking her up but decided against it, choosing to instead surprise her with breakfast as a subtle thank you. After a few minutes of cooking, I shut off the heater and let the oatmeal cool down while I dug around the fridge for something to drink, settling on a half-full carton of orange juice.

“Cooking me breakfast?” Sunset hummed. “And I didn’t even sleep with you yet.”

Shooting up from the fridge, I stammered, “S-Sunset! Good morning!”

“Morning,” she said, turning to tend to the pot of oatmeal. “So, was it good for you?”

“W-what?”

“Nevermind.” She chuckled to herself and then gestured to the oatmeal. “Eh, it’s a little vanilla for me. I like to add stuff to spice it up a little.”

“Um, there’s blueberries in the fridge, or are you looking for cinnamon? I didn’t find any, but I’m sure you kn—”

Sunset huffed, a smirk on her face. “You’re too cute, Twilight.”

I brought my hand to my face, trying to hide the slight blush at the comment. Closing the fridge, I turned my attention toward the cupboards, raiding the tiny kitchen again for bowls.

After the slight creak of the cupboard door, I caught a tiny dark splotch. It landed on my arm, skittering down to my wrist. I screamed, flailed my arms, and jumped backward. It, in return, ran across the counter and ducked beneath the microwave.

The it in question was a cockroach, a grimy, disgusting cockroach.

Sunset, a look of pain on her face, rushed over to my side and cupped my hand. “Twilight, I’m so, so, sorry about that. I could have sworn they were all gone.”

I wheezed. “It’s fine. It just caught me off guard.”

She bit her lip and looked at me apologetically, her hands now interlocked with mine. I couldn’t help but be comforted by her touch.

“I… I know a good diner down the street,” Sunset said, breaking the silence. “I can just toss out the oatmeal, and we could get something to eat there.”

I nodded, not really knowing what to think.

—☀—

The scent of still-sizzling bacon wafted into my nose as the waitress placed the plates in front of us, clattering against the table with a soft clink. Sunset looked up at her, putting on a polite smile and muttering soft words of thanks before pouring a generous amount of syrup on her short stack of pancakes. Lazily, she began to spread the syrup with a plastic butter knife. Her smile was gone, replaced by a blank stare as she avoided eye contact, instead choosing to focus on the food.

We sat in silence, listening to a loud upbeat jazz tune play on the nearby jukebox. Sunset tapped her fingers on the counter and played with her hair, stopping every once in a while to take sips of her coffee.

I, however, could not keep myself from talking. “Have you talked to the landlord about getting an exterminator?”

Sunset scowled. “There’s no way he’d spring up the money for it.”

“Have you thought about moving?”

“Where?” she asked. “I’m a unicorn from another dimension. I don’t necessarily have the best credit. I might as well be one of those aliens in that space movie.”

“There weren’t any aliens, but I get your point.”

“The only reason I got that apartment was because I spotted the roaches.” With a slight grimace, she dug her butter knife into her short stack, unenthusiastically tearing apart the pancake. “He figured he’d rent it off to me a little bit cheaper, so he wouldn’t have to get pest control. You know, save a quick buck.”

“Sorry.” I stared down at the table sheepishly, almost resorting to counting the pepper grains to keep from having to look Sunset in the eye.

“Don’t be. I’m a young adult. I’m supposed to have a terrible apartment.”

I laughed, but it wasn’t enough to keep the conversation alive. Instead, we turned back to the food, and I found myself regretting bringing up the topic. It wasn’t her fault, and I should have figured that. I probably came off as some unempathetic rich girl who was out of touch, whining about a short encounter with a bug while she dealt with them everyday.

“I really liked the movies we saw last night,” she said, breaking me from my thoughts. “I kind of feel bad for falling asleep during the last one… you know, what little we got through.” She chuckled, but it faltered quickly.

“It’s a good one,” I said numbly. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Oh,” she hummed, staring down at her food. “C-could I borrow it? Please?”

I dug into my bag. “Sure! I’ve also got a flash drive full of movies I keep around if you’d like to borrow that. Of course, it’ll take a while to sift through. I kinda just dump everything from schoolwork to music and such.”

“Hopefully, I don’t burn through it.”

“You won’t,” I said confidently, a hint of pride in my voice. “I mean, that there's just a lot in there, but even if you do, I have a whole movie library in my house. My dad’s a bit of a film buff.”

That may have been a bit of an understatement.

The conversation died down, and we turned our attention back to our food that was just beginning to cool down. The scrambled eggs were fine, a fluffy mass of yellow, complemented by the crispy bacon that sort of resembled Sunset’s hair. Although it was probably better to keep that thought to myself.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I instinctively jumped in response. Sheepishly, I dug into my pocket, pulled out the cell phone, and shut off the alarm.

“It’s eleven-eleven,” I said, sliding the phone across the table.

Sunset glanced down at the phone and looked back to me.

And then she smiled.

Author's Note:

"Literary theory is a description of the underlying principles, one might say the tools, by which we attempt to understand literature. All literary interpretation draws on a basis in theory but can serve as a justification for very different kinds of critical activity. It is literary theory that formulates the relationship between author and work." [X]