• Member Since 18th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Saturday

PyraBlue Heart


Don't expect any story updates, at least not for awhile

T

Tick tock goes the clock...

Symbol is a young boy with a relatively peaceful and happy life in Equestria, living in Canterlot Castle with Celestia and Luna. He has everything he could need. Food, company, opportunity and a soft place to rest his head.

Soon, he finds two stray changelings lost and alone. Things get a little more interesting around the castle.

But what happens when an evil unicorn wizard named Clockwork casts a spell on Symbol that sets his life on a time limit?

With his life now on a timelimit, Symbol will have to search through the history books to find a way to counteract the spell with the help of his friends.

But is there something else that he should be worried about?


Mostly slice of life, not much dialogue but more narration. No romantic feelings between the canon cast and the human, but there may be something down the line but we'll just have to wait and see.

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 58 )

the so,diets and guards could hard,y handle themselves

The soldiers and guards could hardly handle themselves? Or are you mentioning diets and hardy? :rainbowlaugh:

7166151 oh god damnit CRUSE YOU BUGGY AUTOCORRECT

7167274

Ah, so my old enemy rears it's ugly head once more...

autocorrect.

Cliffhangers tend to just frustrate me because I simply suck at figuring out mysteries... but this one's different; I find it interesting. Also, there were a few errors, but they're just minor spelling mistakes.

7198861 that's what I tend to do. I plan the cliffhangers ahead of time and work the chapter to make it as hidden and interesting as possible to make people want to continue on. Most of the time it works.

Guess without religion there wasn't,uh to get in the way of things other than societal standards.

uh.... :ajbemused:

Can I please get a link to the previous story? This is a sequel, right?

Might wanna go through this with a fine-tooth comb dude, lots of errors in spelling and grammar here.

7233320 This isn't a sequel, it's a reboot. The previous story fell under the category of 'edgy human protagonist' and got involved in the Displaced genre halfway through.

7233366 really? Alright, I'll have a read through it when I get the chance

Am I to assume that Vector Lulamoon's observations are like the journals from Gravity Falls?

7288527 no, they don't have that many similarities. The journals themselves aren't really full, most of them only have a handful of information

7289019 yeah, you know who is gonna come into the story in the future

Just a few small errors I noticed, not at all bad but just to tell you.

Paragraph 4, sentence 2. Them perhaps?

This news brought a smile to my face as I thought of seeing then again.

Paragraph 5, Sentence 2. Is wishing supposed to be in this? Or am I just not understanding it? If so, my apologies.

Wasp and Zeri began to explore the nearby areas, keeping wishing close proximity of me at all times in case a pony were to see them.

Paragraph 8, sentence 1. I believe you need really.

This guy was rely interesting me at that point, there seemed to be something about him that was keeping my mind on this cult business and giving me a desire to learn more to uncover the secrets that he had hidden away.

And so the tension of the conflict takes hold. I do enjoy the cliff-hangers of these chapters. They always make me want to come back for more, which I think is definitely the sign of a well made story.

7404409 I knew one of these were coming, just didn't know when. All I have to say is ok, it's not for you, that's fine.

7167382 this sentence works so well with you and your picture

7471609 I'd like to make them longer, but I don't have the time

7471632 I'm pretty notorious for my cliffhangers in basically all of my stories :trollestia:

7471666 hey, gotta have something to make you want to come back for more

7471678

*sigh* I know... I just wish it wasn't so painful.

im enjoying this here have a thumbs up :pinkiehappy:

you may wanna give the last few paragraphs a read-over, found a few spelling mistakes there.

Other than that, good chapter!

I gently lifted Zeri off of my chest and put her onto my chest where she began to snuggle in.

A typo here

The mention of the whipped joke... great idea. It reminds me of a similar joke from an episode of The Simpsons when the family went on a vacation to England; at one point, Homer rammed their rented car into a carriage, and then:

Homer: "Lady, get back in your overturned car. Let the guys handle this."

Guards: "We'll deal with him, Your Majesty."

Homer: "Huh. 'Your Majesty'? *whip sound*"

Lisa: "Dad, you just insulted the Queen of England!"

Homer: "Huh?!"


But on an actually relevant note, I did see a few spelling errors near the end.

Once I entered I Immediately ducked as a book was thrown my way.

The "immediately" in that sentence should begin with a lowercase I.

Spike wasn't even trying to keep the mess under control anymore, he just sat under a table and read some sort if comic book.

Some sort of comic book.

It was one of Vectors journals.

There needs to be an apostrophe just before the "s" after the name.

Other than those three, I didn't see any spelling errors.

Why are you telling us stuff about Blueblood again when we already know this stuff. Sure there are a few new things but it wasn't really all that necessary.

8000226 there can be times that I forget what I previously wrote in another chapter

...about to make a comment about a females weight...

'females', in this case, is possessive, which needs an apostrophe after the last E. (i.e. female's)

...The land of Equestria was beautifu...

'beautiful' is misspelled.

...so the Sun shouldn't be setting...

'sun' should not be capitalized

...Was and Zeri...

'Wasp' is misspelled

...It took me a momen to figure out...

'Moment' is misspelled.
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Happy to help.

The next several chapters will be a scavenger hunt sequence, huh?

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