Princess Twilight receives a letter from Princess Celestia urging her to come to Canterlot. King Sombra has returned, but not with revenge, instead he comes with a young unicorn foal. Sombra claims that he bore the unicorn with Luna, but Celestia and everypony else refuses to believe it.
Before anypony can hear Luna's side of the story, she disappears and takes the truth with her. Until Princess Luna is found, Twilight and Celestia must keep close and careful watch on Sombra and the unknown unicorn.
Cover art made by me.
Chapters (8)
hmm it seems good so far
If it wasn't for the fact that I've paired Luna with my OC, then I'd really enjoy this story. So, I'll just say it's okay so far.
7137655
I don't pair Luna with Sombra either, this is just something that popped into my mind.
I just like the twist!
The grammar... oml
Do you have an editor?
7149528
Hey, I know my grammar's not perfect, cut me some slack.
It was late at night, I was sleepy and I had to get out all my ideas before I forgot them.
7149865 I figured
That's why I asked if you had an editor
7149871
Like what?
7150118 Because an editor can help with that stuff
7150121
What editor in particular?
7150140 Anyone can be an editor
They help fix grammar mistakes
7150145
Oh, I thought you meant an online editor.
7150299 I'm not sure an online editor would help with grammar mistakes, maybe spelling though
Seriously? King Sombra just reappeared, and your feeling sleepy?
This story is great I can't wait to see what Sombra does. I could hear the Dun Dun DUN music in my head when King Sombra said " Hello again, Princess Twilight Sparkle." I can't wait to see what you have in store.
7150651
hehe ,sorry about that
7154461 I'm just kidding man. I actually thought is was funny.
Awww... he's cute!
7150308
You would needed a live person to edit... sorry, Silver, but the tenses keep shifting back and forth as well as there being basic spelling issues and no editing program can catch that. It's great that you got it down when you were thinking about it, but you can (and should) always put it up on gdocs and give your editor the link to do the proofreading before it goes live. That's the best of any solution. I proof for three people and we do it all the time and it works out great for everyone.
I like the premise and what you've set up so far with Sombra, Celestia, Luna and Twilight. Can't wait to see what happens!
What exactly is DeviantArt Stash
Sorry to hear you were sick, but congratulations on graduating. Was it college or high school?
7290601
It was high school!
7292831 Nice, I'm only a year behind you.
I probably wouldn't record words onto your phone and turn it into a chapter for your story. It turned out to be a little jumbled. I mean, I can understand what's going on for the most part, but it appears as though an indubitably inexperienced writer wrote it. Voice writing can be unreliable sometimes, so you might wanna make minor edits to your text if you do that in the future.
Did you really use Stardust Comet 123's OC?
7349812
Who's OC?
Was Spike actually invited to the party?
I did get hungry by reading what Celestia gets daily served for breakfast.
I really like your story and I hope you will finish it.
7516661
Thank you.
Don't worry, I'll finish it
yeah, looking at the picture, I can tell that he looks a little like luna.
WAIT THATS IT? NOOOO :(
I actually I like the slow pace it gives the story more of a suspense kindve feeling and it leaves room for lots of excitement in newer chapters so thank you
Borders closed? Stay at home? *gasp*
Could it be... the Crononavirus???
*she said sarcasticly*
7293618
Lucky. *pouts* I'm starting hs.
Y'know, it's kinda of funny how u look at other people's lives and it seem like it's going fast for them, but slow for you.
Update ?
Continua a história por favor
Update 😭