• Member Since 4th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Killer Rose


the most Despair and cringe worthy Account

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A mysterious asteroid has landed in the town of Ponyville. This asteroid holds a power nopony have ever seen before. It shows equestria in the future! Now its up to a little filly named Paradise Melody to stop this horrible future from becoming the present. But she's going to need a lot of help.
All the credit to my editor: Harmony Pie
She's a nice 13 year old girl that helped a 17 year old boy. She's awesome! *sobs*

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 31 )

yay! Good work!:twilightsmile:

7108135 because I like this story

Aww. Nicely done. I'm a shame, but I'll do next chapter, just pass this lovestruck and heartache.

7108246 no you be with rosy harmony got it

This is awesome so far! I only found one type but it's not big enough to worry about.

7742528 im serious i made this before i met you

I'm gonna have to leave a down-vote on this one.

7888354 its fine can you atleast give me a reason why

Before reading:
Strangely enough, I don't normally take time to look at the description of stories... but I did. And I wanted to point a couple things out.

A mysterious asteroid has landed in the town of Ponyville. This asteroid holds a power nopony have ever seen before. It shows equestria in the future! Now its up to a little filly named Paradise Melody to stop this horrible future from becoming the present. But she's going to need a lot of help.

A mysterious asteroid has landed in the town of Ponyville. This asteroid holds a power no pony has ever seen before: it shows Equestria in the future! Now it's up to a little filly named Paradise Melody to stop this horrible future from becoming the present. But she's going to need a lot of help.

Underlined is a need to change. Green colored is it could change, but isn't required. Do note: I kept your wording, didn't feel right changing any of it, so I simple pointed out any errors I happened to find... or suggestions for improvements.

After Reading:
What? Just... what? There were several grammar mistakes, a couple instances were a word was missing, and too little detail in places. And never for regular text substitute numbers with numbers: 9 for nine. Giving a rating to this I would have to go with a 1/5. That being said. What is this a crossover with? And I did love the idea with an asteroid showing the future. I'll be moving on to chapter two some time soon. Until then.

~DeshLune

8161310 to be honest my first and final story plus i had some one as my editor and it suppose to be a crossover with earthbound

8161322
Then you need to mention that. Are you planning on finishing it any time soon? Or at least continue it? And yes I did see the editor part... me just pointing things out.

Poor unlucky soul... I found you through Fb, and I was in editor mode when I left, so commented more editor mode than reader mode.

8161829 to be honest idk looks like it's not gonna work but i might finish it when i get really good at writing

8162413
To get better one needs to practice. So finish the story, start a new one, do something that won't be published, but practice. You can even finish the story then do a rewrite afterwards when you have learned more, and improved.

8163199 another reason i can't work on it because my computer i have chapters on is broken to i'm trying to see if i can get another

8163210
You can get googledocs on your phone, tablet... most devices... it works quite well. With an offline capability as well, perfect for on the go writing. And no... I don't work for google... it is just a good word processor.

8163219 i know it just i get my motivation from the oc

I really love this story what are you ponies talking about I love it so much I’am giving it thumbs up, favourites and tracking this story is really amazing and ponies like me do very hard work it's tiring because, 1,000 words! That's to much! Sometimes I get stressed from writing that much

A deserted fragment of text by a person that never stood up to the responsibility of finishing the work of art that he created.

Saddening isn't it Kylesky?

9738318
Yo i have ADHD and lost most of the story and OCs for it

9738384
That's not the issue.

Oh, hey kylesky! Long time no see good pal!!

How are ya?

9738509
Pain everything i do is pain i feel pain. Pain is everything

9738518
Why could that be so in a place like this? Could something grave have come up that isn't to my attention?

Or is it FPL and their shenanigans again?

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