Grow Up, Apple Bloom

by Lux

Another Failed Crusade

Grow Up, Apple Bloom

Chapter 1 – Another Failed Crusade

“Did you get your cutie mark, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said.

The Earth pony looked behind with a look of hope. Maybe, just maybe, today would be the day that she finally got her cutie mark. As she gazed at her empty flank, her looked changed to disappointment.

“No, Scootaloo. No mark yet. Did ya git yers, Sweetie Belle?”

The unicorn looked at her flank and her face looked in surprise. “Wait, I think I see something!”

“Ya found yer mark, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said as she trotted over to her friend. Scootallo followed and looked at her unicorn friend.

“Aww! It’s just a leaf,” the orange Pegasus pony said as she flicked the red maple leaf from her friend’s flank.

“Ah guess we can scratch trailblazin’ off our list then,” Apple Bloom said with a sigh.

“Well, that’s interpretive dancing, pie eating and trailblazing, and no marks for those,” Sweetie Belle said.

The two Crusaders piled into the wagon attached to the scooter and Scootaloo motored the three of them out of the forest. Overhead, the sun was low in the sky, indicating that soon it would be evening. Their day of crusading was over and it was time the three returned to their respective homes.

“How many things we have tried so far Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo asked Apple Bloom as she buzzed along with her wings.

“Well with the three we did today, ah’d say it’s one hundred an’ thirty three things we did so far, give or take a few,” Apple Bloom said.

Saying this, the earth pony noticed how the two looked even more upset at their recent failure. “But gdon’ worry yall,” she said trying to cheer them up, “Ah know we’ll git our marks someday.”

“Someday,” Scootaloo said exacerbated, “we’ll be grown mares by the time we get our cutie marks at this rate!”

“An’ what’s wrong with gittin’ older,” Apple Bloom said to her friend, “Mah sister, Applejack is older, an’ ah hope ta’ be just like her when I grow up!”

“Stop fighting you two,” Sweetie Belle said, “we’re trying to get our marks together, not fight about it.”

“Sorry, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said, “I guess I’m getting impatient that’s all.”

“That’s ok,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah’ git upset too sometimes. But we’re a team, an’ we’ll help git our marks, no matter how old we are when we git them, right?”

“Right,” the two chimed in.

Hearing this from Scootaloo about getting their marks when older, Apple Bloom had a idea. “Hey, Sweetie Belle, when did yer sister git her mark?”

“Oh Rarity told me that she was older than us when she got her mark,” the unicorn said thinking about it.

“Girls, ah’ thing ah have an’ idea,” Apple Bloom said satisfied.
“What is it,” the other Crusaders asked.

“Ah can’t tell ya yet ‘cause ah’m not sure if it’ll work, but if it does, this might solve all our problems.”

“It’s not going to be that potion you tried that made you get all those cutie marks, is it,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Nah, ah learned my lesson about that. Don’ worry. Ah’ll let you know about it in a day or so.”
“Ok then,” Scootaloo said as she pulled up to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres, “see you later Apple Bloom.”

“Bye Scootaloo. Bye Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said with a wave as her two friends and crusaders pulled away. She then turned and headed back to the farm house, her mind abuzz with her new idea.

Comments

[Psychromaniac]

I really love the concept, but I'd love even more to see a slightly more refined writing style.
For starters, really try to describe the scenario they're in to as much detail as you can imagine. Were they on a field trip? Did they venture into the Everfree Forest? Whose idea was it to go trailblazing? What time of day is it? Is the weather bright and sunny, or dark and dreary? What kind of escapades did they go through to get here?

Here's an example to see how I would write this:

The orange pegasus groaned as she flicked yet another hapless twig from her magenta mane. "Did you get yours yet, Applebloom?"

Applebloom creaked her head around, a small glimmer of hope sparking within the depths of her eyes, only to droop her head back down in despair. Though this little adventure of theirs had hardly been enjoyable, there was always the tiny sparkle of expectation every time they went crusading.

"Oh, hey! I think I have mine!"

The pegasus and earth pony equally shot up with beaming glee, scooting around each other to get a look at the unicorn's flank.

"Oh...nevermind, it's just a leaf," Sweetie Belle replied. All three visibly sagged as the white pony peeled the wet maple leaf from her body.
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[Ellington]

Somehow Applebloom can honestly say she's had more cutie marks than Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon put together.

[Kittzel Sticks]

2742414 IKR,

D.T : You will never get your cutie mark Apple Bloom!

A.B: Bitch please, I've had more than you. Remember the cutie pox?

[Ludicrous Lycan]

“An’ what’s wrong with gittin’ older,” Apple Bloom said to her friend, “Mah sister, Applejack is older, an’ ah hope ta’ be just like her when I grow up!”

“Stop fighting you two,” Sweetie Belle said, “we’re trying to get our marks together, not fight about it.”

Applebloom's accent is so thick I couldn't even tell they were fighting.

[Yoshifan30]

“Ya found yer mark, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said as she trotted over to her friend. Scootallo followed and looked at her unicorn friend.

Scootaloo

[Yoshifan30]

Saying this, the earth pony noticed how the two looked even more upset at their recent failure. “But gdon’ worry yall,” she said trying to cheer them up, “Ah know we’ll git our marks someday.”

Don't worry kids just wait until season 5 it'll be worth the wait 😊

[Yoshifan30]

“It’s not going to be that potion you tried that made you get all those cutie marks, is it,” Sweetie Belle said.

Oh gosh Cutie Pox

[Yoshifan30]

Once again the Cutie Mark Crusaders try to figure out they get their cutie marks I kind of miss those days but anyway it looks like they failed to get a cutie mark but apparently Apple Bloom has an idea and something tells me this will not go very well