A prank involving Rainbow Dash and a flashbang quickly goes south, leaving Anonymous a little worse for wear. Thirsty for revenge, Anon teams up with the Dazzlings and turns all of Canterlot High upside down in a plot to achieve it.
I rated this as T due to excessive swearing and some violence.
First fic so please give critique so I can write better chapters/stories in the future.
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Rainbow Dash threw the flashbang into Anon's face.
Anon was hospitalized and died several hours later.
Rainbow Dash is now in juvie serving until her 18th birthday for Aggravated Assault and Voluntary Manslaughter.
Flashbangs can kill things
7117751
After Rainbow Dash gets out she wanders the streets lost, trying to find herself. Luckily, Sunset Shimmer is there and takes her in. They bond over their mutual 'oh shit we did evil things', and they fall in love.
7117751
7117756 And something about a nameless kid dying three weeks ago. Nobody really cares.
TWU WUV!
In the thrilling sequel, SciTwi kills Fluttershy with a blank and has to be taken in by Dash and Sunny! TwiDashSet ship is sailing, boys!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was very OOC.
7153333
Yeah when I think about it Sonata was a little too off. I was originally planning on having Aria take the place of Sonata during that chapter, but I felt like I was just leaving Sonata out so I wanted to give a little more attention in the story. I'll be more careful next time.
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No, I meant what Rainbow did. I highly doubt she would do that to Anon.
gasp mind control
I"m really enjoying this story so far, I can't wait to see how these events play out. Keep the new chapters coming, I love a good story with anon interacting with the Dazzlings.
By the way the scenario with anon going undercover as a girl was hilarious.
"Never mind." 'Aria' shakes her head.
Isn't she supposed to be Adagio?
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Whoops, thanks for the catch!
7276746 You're welcome!
In all honesty I wouldn't go through all this trouble for revenge. I'd just beat the fuck out of them for atleast two hours.
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Lol, I'd probably do the same. Didn't really try to write this with realism in mind; just something to let my mind go loose when I'm not busy.
Anon is doomed and he doesn't even realize it yet....
Should be fun to watch!
Rainbow's gonna get it next chapter!
Oh man, so hyped for the next chapter.
Some serious crap is about to go down!
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Yeah, that's probably what would've happened it it was real life. When I was thinking about the plot, I didn't really write this story with the intention of taking it 100% seriously with 100% realism, just something to do during my downtime. Sorry you don't like the lack of realism in the story.
If this was real and I was involved I would have beat the shit out the dazzling S after the 1st injury and broke the controller. Only go as far as the one who fucked with you. Just reading the shot they did made me sick. Good job with this story, interesting with a degree of realism able prevoke emotion from the reader.
Oh crap.......
I have a bad feeling about this.
Damn the Dazzilings, my feelings towards them just did a complete 180.
7405904 right I was so hyped to see dash get what she deserved then I thought ok that's just not right. The dazzlings will always suck.
Sighs I almost feel sorry for Dagio, she lost something real special, she coudl had something that would made her so happy now she lost it forever.
well shit...
.you had me at the first paragraph.
but I'm surprised Anon didn't go off about the whole flash bang grenade thing as a counter.
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Seriously, don't watch that thing. Don't even think about considering it. I only saw it because my little sister forced me to.
But hey, it's how she introduced me to FiM as well, so I guess it counterbalances everything.
Also, don't worry; Anon's pretty down in the dumps at the moment, but things always get worse before they get better, right?
I knew he was doomed....
Anon dug this grave for himself.... now let's see him climb out of it.
Well, let's just hope things get better for Anon soon.... he's suffered enough, right?
Honestly, if Applejack came running after me while looking at me like that, I would shit my own pants not bothering to run.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/1/13/FANMADE_Twilight_%22I_see_what_you_did_there%22.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140218205934
This was a nice chapter. Awaiting more!
This was a nice chapter. Awaiting more!
I can't tell whom you're shipping Anon and Sunset or Anon and Rainbowdash
No worries Crayonpaste you are a very talented writer and I am pretty sure anyone who is reading this and likes it thinks so too. But seriously take your time and make sure you put your heart and soul into it, because many people in this site agree that; Quality over Quanity. So as a recap when you write make sure you are enjoying it as much as we are reading it so it does not seem like a chore to you. Keep on rockin' Crayonpaste.
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When I was writing this, I actually was planning on shipping him with Adagio or better yet, nobody at all. Unfortunately, things don't always translate from mind to paper as well as I want, hence the mess.
7429662 Yeah I was thinking Adagio, buuuuuuuut the whole "throwing Anon under the bus thing"
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This was a nice chapter. Awaiting more!
When is the next chapter coming?
The real question is how they haven't been arrested? Guarantee you school would be canceled and the thing would be up for investigation.
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If I could go back in time, and write something up to fix that plothole I would, but I feel it's way too late to really do anything about it now...
but it's (Nix the extra space between “but” and “it's”.)
disconcerting
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7636415
Actually, that plot hole might have an easy fix. At the beginning of the story it's said that the Dazzlings have been at the school long enough to get their claws into Celestia so they can manipulate her and the school. It would not be a stretch to say that they made her and others forget or make light of the whole thing so that RD never got in trouble and Anon would be willing to help with their plans. If you want, you can have the Dazzlings imply this little fact and BOOM, plot hole fixed!
This chapter was insane; you really went off the rails here. I’m still more than interested but I know where the lack of up‐votes comes from now.
INSTANT
I actually expected the ending to be like Anon leaving the school after finishing his work with his problems along with the Dazzlings. It's not the most greatest ending, but after all that he's been through, I would leave after I'm done with everything. Why stay in a school where everyone hated you before the battle of the bands? I mean I would give props for Anon sticking in even if he was abused both physically and mentally, but damn even I can't stand that long.
emphasize
7649602
Yikes, I didn't realize I made so many errors in the past...thanks for pointing them out for me! If you find more, please let me know.
7649533
Yeah, I kinda wrote that chapter after hitting a couple joints...I woke up the next day to work on another chapter and I was like "wtf did I just write"
But up/down votes really don't really get in my head; I just try to write and see if people like it or not. It doesn't matter either way since I already did my best.
Wouldn't it make more dramatic sense if Anon was the one who was activating the magnets instead of Aria in Chapter 9: The Worst Game Ever? You can have Adagio seduce him to do it.
That way Anon could feel more guilt for what he has done to Rainbow Dash, and gives the students at CHS more of a reason to hate him.
7732651
Mmm maybe, but following how he reacted during the scene back then he would not have taken it to far, and if he did have the remote he probably would have took it with him when he realized they did not just want to prank her, but mess her up.
Maybe it would if he made the remote, or tested it on her first, but if he for a moment thought he was going to hurt her more he would have backed off.
EDIT
also until ch 17 he could not really be affected by the music even a few chapters ago Even with the hearing aid on he was not affected by the song
I think the song only affects people who hear the song naturally