• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Tyrannosaurus_Tux


Sometimes I write stories.

T
Source

So, I died.

Apparantly, I was a sinner, so...

I work here now.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 59 )

Jesus christ this isn't going to end well.

To the featured box you go! Come on now!

if this had more than one chapter, i can see everyone of the chapters ending with this one line.

I have a horse waifu.

the only thing on TV is Disney sitcoms

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, THAT'S THE MOST HORRIBLE, TWISTED THING I'VE EVER HEARD!

Should I continue this?

I've got several ideas.

I have a horse waifu.

And just like that, a million HiE fanboys cried out in agony, and just as suddenly, were all silenced.

Dear God, I need to find a church to repent in!

WHERE DO I SIN HARD ENOUGH TO GO HERE???????

7102487

You already know the answer.

A like saves a life, after all.

And I don't have facebook. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If Steven Colbert is in there then I imagine from the pits of Hell, Trump is there as well.

Romans 3:23
Romans 3:10-18
Romans 6:23
Romans 5:8
Romans 10:9
Romans 10:13
Romans 5:1
Romans 8:1
Romans 8:38-39

I laughed. You can have this like and a fave.

This story should be rated “Teen”, instead of “Everyone”. :ajsmug:

This is the most ineffective hell I've ever seen. Inmate bungles his escape, and as punishment he is shown the exit?

I don't know which is more impressive, that this fic made it to the front page, or that it only has one downvote at the time of this comment.

7105690 He "escapes" into the horror of being bound to a pony as a waifu. He most-certainly does not want a pony for a waifu, but in his haste to escape from the store, he condemned himself to this situation, and it horrifies him.

7104131

Romans 3:23 ~
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 3:10-18 ~
As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” “Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.” “The poison of vipers is on their lips.” “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” “Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.” “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Romans 6:23 ~
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 5:8 ~
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:9 ~
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 10:13 ~
for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Romans 5:1 ~
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

Romans 8:1 ~
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

Romans 8:38-39 ~
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What does this have anything to do with anything??

7105824
But... that's such a first world problem. "In order to escape from an existence of eternal damnation and torment, I must live on an alien Eden and take an alien wife, said aliens having a human-like society and resembling sapient hooved kittens. OH WOE IS ME."

Ofc, I understand I'm taking this too seriously. :twilightblush:

7105881 Two things:
1: To him, this may still be torment and damnation, albeit of a different variety.
2: Where's that quote from?


7105844 Just a guess, but if you look at the verses, they have to do with sin, damnation, forgiveness, and salvation. This story is based on the premise that the main character had been condemned to eternal suffering, and is now in what some may call paradise, while others (himself included) see it as the suffering bus just going down a different road with different scenery.
TL:DR
Quite a bit, actually.

7105981

I love how I just pushed out a silly concept and you lot made it look brilliant.

I now think that authors are made into geniuses by the dear reader.

An infernal afterlife with stores where you can choose your very own waifu? Color me intrigued!

Now comes the Great Question: How long until he gets used to it?

Was laughing throughout the entire chapter...

untill I saw a note. For God's sake, joke or not, this stereotype is becoming more and more offensive.

7106327
How can it be offensive when the country in question doesn't even exist anymore?

7106327

Soviet Equestria is a stereotype? ...Really?

7106542
Well, I don't know, maybe it's because some people respect the memory of it even if it's nonexistent.
I mean, would you laugh at something that you respect when some "troll" decided to create a "meme" out of it that will mock the said something? Well I certainly wouldn't!

7106720
Be serious for a moment and stop mocking it!

7106720
I don't much care for those Soviet stereo types; they always break. Sanusi, however, is a great stereo type.

7106003*Bow deeply with an over-dramatic flourish* I'm glad to have been able to be of service. That may be true, but the reader first needs something to read and react to, without the author there is nothing; 'tis a symbiotic relationship of sorts.

7106756
The USSR is certainly deserving of critical analysis and its place in history, but it was an oppressive autocratic regime which fell far FAR short of its revolutionary ideals. So... blanket respect, it does not deserve.

You'll notice that the meme usually parodies the USSR's overbearing totalitarian tendencies; that's not a lie! It's not as if we're denying that the USSR was ahead of the USA in the Space Race until the last 10 feet.

Soviet or not, I wish to read MOAR.

My supposition is that he was in fact in some sort of Limbo... not good enough for upstairs, not bad enough for downstairs, just kind of lame. And he apparently signed some kind of contract, probably pending his eventual release, either to upstairs or for a retry. His lack of memory was probably part of the contract for some reason, possibly some kind of magic NDA. His getting kicked out with no attention paid was probably because the boss didn't really give a damn and could find some other loser in a few minutes anyway. He might've even been nearing the end of the contract and his boss sending him back up would've been harder than tossing him out with a waifu, thus why the boss set it up so he'd be more likely to break the contract like that before completing it.

Of course, my actual guess is that the author is making it up as he goes along and probably won't ever explain the actual details of the Waifu and Husbando Emporium in favor of more awkward romantic shenanigans.

Hrm, you know, that brings to mind an amusing possible ending. The boss' bosses were fine with the lame soul getting a waifu because he wasn't happy with it and thus still serving his time. But when he finally caves and is happy, they'll demand he go fetch Nate and drag him back to Limbo. To which the boss tells them where they can shove it, not because he particularly cares but because that's Twilight motherfucking "OP" Sparkle he picked. Plus, he'd be friends with Pinkie by that point and that's why Equestria universes are hands off. Naturally, they don't listen and go after him. To their regret. Bonus Points: They actually tell Nate what he was guilty of and it's just so amazingly lame/silly that Twilight, who was bracing herself to hear all about his dark (exciting bad boy) past... is just so massively unimpressed that she tries to shoo them away with a broom to express just how unimpressed she is with their reasoning.

I shouldn't comment when I'm tired...

7102384 Yes! The idea of an HiE fic involving someone forced by powers beyond imagining or comprehension to essentially be married to Twilight against his will is hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:
Wow that was a long sentence :rainbowderp:

One thing though: obtain an editor. I saw quite a few minor, and I guess excusable, errors, but also two major ones, involving an absolute train smash of a non-sentence in one case. Just some advice :twilightsmile:
Heck, I might even give it a go myself if you don't already have someone else :derpytongue2:

7115722 This. This is my favorite type of comment :rainbowlaugh:

I've realised something: Those customers either:

took their waifus with them to the eternal afterlife and had to explain to a highly distraught pony (or a pissing-his-pants laughing Stephen Colbert) that they are a copy of a character and were obtained from a purgatory punishment store that sells popular waifus and husbandos and were now bound to eternally love their purchaser

OR
Were teleported with their chosen waifu/husbando to a duplicate of the chosen's universe. The first is acceptable, this option means there are now an inordinate number of Equestrias floating about the space-time continuum. That volume of Pinkie Pie is NOT conducive to a stable establishment of the fabric of the universe!

7420617

Think of it this way; we all unconciously went to the Waifu and Husbando Emprorium at some point or another. All the protagonists you ever saw in a Human in Equestria story also probably visited the Emporium.

7421102 Except for the non-romance ones...
I need a gif for my face here, my whole view of romantically involved HiE fics has forever changed and will now always bring my mind back to the purgatory HaW store :rainbowlaugh:

7422615

Or else it's the writers picking a waifu (or worse, multiple waifus) for their character/s.

7815105

I have no idea how to proceed from here.

7108923

In Capitalist America, bread line wait for you

7945730

This must help explain why there aren't many (if any) Dinosaur waifus/husbandos out there.

i see this and raise you-
This

Brb needs to go lust over a neighbour's stuff.

Login or register to comment