Talking Is Hard

by Leoshi

Details

"Twilight, I've finished with your draft. May I go over some notes with you?"

"Oh, yes! Please do! And thank you again for agreeing to help me with this."

"Happy to help, darling. Now, what would you like first: the good or the bad?"

"Oof, there's a lot of 'bad,' isn't there?"

"Hardly! In fact, many of my notes are largely my own opinions. I don't really have anything to say about the technical side of things."

"Oh yeah? Heheh, okay. In that case, let's go through the bad."

"Very well! This should not take long. Erm...here, let's start with this section. I noticed that you go into some detail on your study, which is good for this lesson. However, the way it's worded makes me feel like it's rushing ahead."

"Oh, I had taken that from one of my old flashcards. I tried to expand on it. Does it work?"

"It works, but only in the sense that a water balloon would work at putting out a stove fire."

"Ouch. That's quite an analogy."

"I'm sorry, dear. I don't say it to be mean, but rather to be factual. Tossing a water balloon at a stove fire would work for the moment, but only in a small way and not enough to last. In the same way, the fire would be my questions for you. Wouldn't it be better to include more detail in this passage?"

"I've thought about it, especially during earlier drafts, but I haven't been able to find a way to explain it without putting Spike to sleep."

"Twilight, you know we all love Spike to pieces, but he's hardly the target audience for this study of yours."

"Ehh, you'd be surprised. You know, it was his idea to include the pancake batter example on page two."

"Goodness, that was his? I was laughing for so long, I saw stars!"

"I know, I heard!"

"Oh, wonderful! I take back what I said, then. But still, that doesn't really help with the rushing issue here."

"Haaa, you're right. Okay, do you have any ideas to slow it down?"

"Well...if this lesson were a dress, and this particular passage is a delicate pattern, then I'd try to draw more attention to it by doubling the stitching, or perhaps sewing in some translucent stones on the points of the pattern. So...perhaps include a little more to the beginning and ending?"

"Hmm, there was something I wanted to try for that first sentence. Tell me, does it have that 'hook' to catch your attention?"

"Oh? My attention was drawn in from the opening paragraph, darling. Would it be necessary to grab it again?"

"Well, if Spike's snoring was any indication..."

"Ah, yes, that's a good point, and well-made. In that case, the answer is no."

"Well, what if I wrote it like...oh, how to say it..."

"Just pretend you're reading it from the published copy, dear."

"Oh, okay. Um, I want you to picture a colt walking home from school. He's tired from a day of tests, and he's looking forward to curling up with his favorite comic book. During his walk home, he comes across a...a-a, ugh..."

"Twilight?"

"Sorry, I was trying to remember how it went."

"I think you're on the right track, though."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes. Opening with that allows me to re-engage my mind. That, in turn, lets me picture the scene you're telling me to picture. Do you think you can work that into this passage?"

"Absolutely! You know, I'm glad I asked you to proofread this for me. Spike helped a lot, but he doesn't have the same eye for detail that you do."

"It's nothing, really! I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that I was not involved in the process of writing this."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"It's like dresses again. When I'm creating something new, I may have all sorts of ideas for what I want. But if it's a particularly difficult job, I may gloss over some pieces in the hopes of meeting a deadline. And when that happens, I overlook something basic, like a cross-stitch or a slightly brighter shade of pink, and that means I'll need to carefully cut out that part and do it again—"

"Rarity!"

"Oh, huh?"

"You're rambling."

"Am I?"

"Rarity..."

"Ahh...hem. My apologies. Last week's special order for Pinkie Pie did not go according to Plan A. Or B, C, or D."

"Hahaha! Well, what were you trying to say?"

"It was...ah, yes! When I'm involved in the creative process, I may go over a piece of detail so many times that I lose sight of what I wanted from it. If and when that happens, it's because I turned my focus to another part of the dress that seemed more important at the time, but ultimately was not. Because of that other part distracting me, I forgot what I wanted in the first place, and it would take some fresh eyes to see the big picture again."

"Now that is something I can relate to."

"Case and point, right?"

"Right!"

"Now, of course, if you choose to open this passage with that scenario, you may need to re-write a good amount of the entire paper."

"In that case, let me do that now. That way, we won't need to—"

"Is something wrong?"

"I was...just about to say how...well, I was about to say how we wouldn't need to go over the 'good' part of your notes if the whole draft is about to change. But then I realized that would make all of the time you've spent here a wasted effort."

"Goodness! Why would you think that way?"

"Well, isn't that what it would be?"

"Twilight Sparkle, I fear you may have missed the point of my notes. Remember when I said that my notes were opinionated?"

"I thought you said that was for the bad parts?"

"I don't believe I did, darling. I meant that for all of my notes."

"Oh. So..."

"So of course that means we should still go over the good, right? It is always worthwhile to see what areas are your strongest. That way, perhaps you can apply the same lessons to weaker areas, and even future jobs!"

"Wait, jobs? Are you talking about dresses again?"

"Hats, actually."

Author's Note:

This was originally inspired by Aragón's recent blog post (beware of awesome) but turned into something different, so I guess it's more like my experience with helping people with their own writing. And perhaps giant hats.

Comments

[Leoshi]

8057310 Oh? Was there anything in particular that made this one stand out more? Or was it just the hats?

[Leoshi]

8063891 Awesome, I'm glad I was able to accomplish that! Since you mention it, I think that you might enjoy a story called Sunset Shimmer's Ordinary Afternoon by MythrilMoth. It has a lot more of the same vibe - a way to make 'nothing' interesting - that I was going for in this chapter. It's just a regular part of the day that I find very good. In fact, I think it's been received so well because it's relatable in the most basic way, yet it's still entertaining.

This is in no way a sponsored advert or anything; I just think you'll enjoy it, since you enjoyed this entry.