• Member Since 12th Jan, 2015
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Weavers of Dreams


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Are you a pony who has a human related problem? Or perhaps a human that has a pony related problem. Or perhaps your problem stems from a pony who knows a human with a cousin that has a problem related to the local donut salesman, which indirectly effects you? Whether or not you have any of these problems, or variations thereof, as long as there is a human somewhere in that mess, the Department of Anthropology is there to help.

Join top anthropologist, Lyra Heartstrings as she helps humans and ponies settle their differences and smacks sense into anyone that talks back. She knows more about humans than even humans know about themselves, and she's not afraid to flaunt it, as she carries out her duty to help the poor humans that seem to fall through portals on a regular basis, and build bridges between their two cultures.

May Celestia have mercy on us all.

Chapters (93)
Comments ( 319 )

“Aryanne, no, put it down, bad girl,” Dr. Heartstrings ordered her latest appointment.

Wow 5 secs in and one sentence and you've already got me wanting to give you a like. Nice job.

That's it have a like. You've earned it good sir. May more await you in the future SO SAYS SPIRITUS!!

Definitely a good start. Poor Lyra.

Hmm, I thought these stories had a certain angle to them.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10695_small.jpg

Wow, I at first thought I wouldn't like this because of Aryanne, but I like how this was written---not super inappropriate, yet honest and thoughtful, and you made Aryanne seem more like a misguided mare than a crazy pony---you actually gave me a reason to like her.

Uhm... thanks, I guess.

I like this Aryanne, not the other one that's... crazy.

Anyway, you did a good job with this one-shot, and I respect you for it.

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

It also gave her some time alone before her next patient to wonder how a little girl of Jessica’s age could possibly enjoy Lovecraft’s eldritch horror.

Probably through ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/712IZP7-MML.jpg
It's Eldritch Terror.... For Kids.

7091726 Wat? :rainbowderp: That's a thing? Might check it out.

I rather like those "archaeological supplies". Shoot, a feller could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

I'd love to see a picture of a earth pony/wolverine hybrid. There's just something oddly amusing about an adorable little fluffball that can rip our your eyes and do unspeakable things to the sockets.

7108205 Not even grizzly bears mess with them

I love that joke. :rainbowlaugh:

I like this story. It's an interesting take on both the Human in Equestria idea and the human-obsessed Lyra idea. I'm quite frankly surprised this fic isn't more well-known. Here, have a well-deserved thumbs-up.

What do anthropologists do, again?

Displaced, unless done right (and there are very few that are done right) are cancer to fimfiction.

You should of have the picture of discord slap Lyra at the end of this chapter

7123412 They are people who study human cultures

Bagpipes are indeed awesome. This version of Lyra gets +2 points.

I'll bet one of the things Pinkie shouldn't do involves said boobs.

Ah, the hints of pony/human interaction warm my deadened heart. Keep it coming. If you don't mind, that is.

Real interested in what has Lyra so affected.

Poor ponies, having to deal with crazy lunatics like that.

"Ah knews it! Them alien horse things r' behind 9/11! That thar Loose Change video was right!"

Lyra: "Oh great, we've got a Truther. Somepony get the hose."

"Doctor, is that really an appropriate response to obvious mental instability?"

Lyra: "In this case? YES."

This has been pretty fun so far. Is it just going to be vignettes? Or will there be an overarching theme between them? Just curious it has been a good/imaginative read either way.

Sunny buns... GASP! Its celestia!

Hehe, Sunny Buns.

In my head she had the Element of Laughter, amongst others.

Nice addition. It's gotta suck having a phobia like that.

I agree with Rokas, bwuh? Explanations, now or in the next chapters!

I found out later that the mare, never did get her name, knew that our family was very well off, and tried to stake a claim with my brother. Fortunately, our mother had the foresight to teach him the kind of mares he should avoid. She was just so angry at being turned down that she had some of her other friends seduce my brother's friends, feeding them lies and somesuch. They believed them."

And people like that deserve to die. Monsters, the whole lot of them.

7F

Exactly that mare is example that why I dislike ponykind on various HIE And Pony on Earth.

I think red would go fine with mint green.

But then I'm a straight male so what do I know about fashion? :rainbowlaugh:

I know how Lyra feels.

And D'aaawwww at the Cakes.

Well, psycho terror is one way to motivate someone.

:pinkiecrazy:

Just a little thing: you may want to proofread this story a bit more, because over the past few chapters, I've seen some glaring errors in terms of spelling and the like. It's still a good story overall and I like it, I'm just pointing out something that's been bugging me.

Yanno, is Darkest Darkness a Skyrim reference? If it is I might be a little slow. :ajsleepy:

I'd sign up for Frontier work. Hacking civilization from the wilds, finding new land and resources, 'tis a glorious and noble undertaking.

7287017 Well, like I said, I'm a bit slow.

Still, good times.

I hate those kinds of cliches, too. It's one thing if the guy's being a jerk, it's another if he's just trying to do his best and he gets mocked for not being perfect.

Lyra hoped it'd be a running gag? Oh come on now, I'm the one with the meta-aware Lyra, no fair. :raritywink: :pinkiecrazy:

Nice chapter.

"On second thought..." :rainbowlaugh:

Oh Lyra, they just want you to be happy and stop hating yourself.

7294426 Lyra deserves a somepony of her own, indeed ;)

"...stop humans from ranting about bacon..."

NEVER!

...And ponies stealing armrests? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? XD

There should be a human client that asks for help with thestrals. With our meat consumption, our blood would either be off putting to them, or be seen as a superior source of food for the high iron content. Either would make for an interesting case study. Oh, and great story by the way. Keep those chapters coming!

I always like threstrals.

Oh wow. This was better than I had hoped! Thank you!

So where do I donate to threstrals? I'm already a normal blood donor, so a little more shouldn't hurt.

7304556 We had already wanted to do something with thestrals and humans, but the idea of human blood being a delicacy was very interesting. Thank you for the idea.

Yeeeaaahhhhh, not creepy at all. :rainbowderp: /sarcasm

Yanno, if Lyra really wanted to help him be at ease, it would have been best not to tell him human blood is a delicacy. :rainbowwild: "Oh, and tell her you sleep at night."

I thought she was an anthropologist? Wouldn't she know this triggers ALL the human buttons for "DANGER"? I mean:

1. Blood-sucking.
2. Nocturnal.
3. Can track you down.
4. Knows when and where you're asleep.

Just... wow.

7304712 Perhaps we did overdo it a little bit. But, we can fix that in the next chapter, as well as chalk it up to her impish personality.

7304847 Meh, just was wondering. It wasn't too bad, just, yanno, just thought she'd be a bit more "yeah, I know, it's kinda creepy. I mean, ponies are prey species after all, and humans are kind of in that weird predator/prey/scavenger/brutal-but-insecure-destroyer-of-everything-that-looks-at-them-funny category, so I understand it's a bit out of your comfort zone. If you tell her no and she's still kinda sad about it send her to me and I'll explain about how humans generally don't like to have their flesh pierced by nocturnal predators as this goes against every survival instinct you have and oh my God I should really have them add batponies to the new arrival curriculum shouldn't I?"

Also my personal preference is I don't see batponies as even existing (only in one episode, and it was a Halloween episode), but not complaining about that. So really not complaining at all, really, just commenting on a seemingly odd tick.

Anyway, best of luck.

I wonder if there will be any human's playing live music at the restaurant. I've always thought the ponies would be blown away by our varied genre's and styles of music.

...I can't help but wonder if that wasn't a jab at me, given I criticized something and now there's mention of a story involving giant robots and ponies and how silly it is. :ajbemused:

Ah well, joke's on you if it's true; I know the dang things are impractical. :rainbowwild:

More seriously:

Human's enjoy stories ...

I think that should be a plural s, not a possessive. :raritywink:

And I still don't understand why Lyra had to go after Caramel about his silly misunderstanding. It's the old misdirection of "oh, I screwed up, well, YOU'RE not perfect either!" Of course everyone screws up, but we weren't talking about other screwups, we were talking about YOUR screwup, just now. Throwing something like that back at someone is really immature and waspish.

Ahh, such a curious mare. A bit eager, perhaps? But her heart is in the right place. I know she'll side with the Empire in the end.

Hmm, odd, that kind of place sounds like something you'd find in a big city rather than a small town. Yanno, the whole "courtesy is for losers" and "no room just cram in" stuff. But whatevs.

Also pancake in soup?! ...Is... is that a damn Yankee thing? You northerners and your weird as Hell food. :twilightoops: :derpytongue2:

Nice little slice of life chapter. Poor Lyra. She just doesn't understand that no one likes a spinster. :raritywink:

I'd watch that.

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