The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-93- Sweet Twisted Dumbies

Auntie Lyra had once told her an old human fairytale about a naughty kitten who had disobeyed his mother and got captured a couple of rats. These rats then tied up the poor kitten with string and were preparing to cook him alive inside a cocoon of dough before he was rescued. Happy ending or not, that story had frightened her something awful, leaving her scared of chimneys, attics, and cupboards for a week.

What was wrong with humans?

The correlation? She was tied up with yarn in what appeared to be a basement, or a cellar, and surrounded by rats and bogeys. One could hardly measure the speed at which her heart was pumping. The good news was that she was now finding herself incredibly warm. But, weren't you supposed to go cold with terror? Or is that only in books?

The bogeys were whispering amongst themselves, their hushed voices sounding like snakes. Occasionally, one or two would glance her way, then go back to whispering amongst the others. She was essentially being ignored.

If it weren't for the fact that she was cocooned in yarn at the moment, she would have found it a perfect time to sneak away. As it was, she could barely wiggle her nose. For weaklings, bogeys were great at tying things up. Then again, with enough yarn, you could hold a dragon captive.

Though, Twist wasn't sure there were enough sheep in the world to make that much yarn.

"Big bogey not be happy with this," one bogey, Midge, suddenly piped up when the conversation began to ebb. Ebbing or not, after he spoke up they all went silent and gave him a wide berth.

The reason why became apparent when the boss bogey, the one wearing a golden ring on its head, began hissing. It approached Midge angrily, until they were nose-to-nose. "Big bogey, not here. Gone long time. Me king bogey now."

King. Perhaps that meant it was male.

"You just big sister, not rule anything," Midge retorted bitterly.

Bogeys were so stupid. Couldn't even get the titles right. But, that wasn't the important issue.

Big bogey? the filly asked herself. As mentioned, bogeys were stupid, too stupid to make up metaphors. So that could only mean that the big bogey was indeed a big bogey. How big? If they were too big they wouldn't be strong enough to even walk.

There were too many unanswered questions, and the little candy maker was in no state to find all the answers. At least it was warm in the room. It was nice to no longer be cold.

"Bout time we have pony slave," the king stated in a proud manner.

And that just stole the warmth right from her bones. Eyes widened to a seemingly unhealthy point, Twist stared at the king bogey in abject horror. Were her mouth not bound up, she might have screamed. The best she could muster was a few tears.

"Yes," the king bogey grinned wickedly as she stepped closer to the filly. "Pony think they so tough because they bigger than bogey. No more. This first step in ruling world. We flood their homes and streets with rats, steal away all foals and shinies. Big bogey will bow to me."

And they had delusions of grandeur. Good thing Twist was a smart filly and didn't dare jinx things by thinking it couldn't get any worse. She just stared into the pitiless eyes of the king bogey and swallowed hard.

Then a random bogey raised a paw and asked, "what slave do?"

Twist began to wonder if she was giving the bogeys too much credit when the king remained silent for a long moment. Surely they weren't that stupid. Then again, they were evil, which is something she had never considered a bogey to be before, and evil people weren't known for being geniuses.

They did not know what a slave was. It would be funny if it weren't to terrifying.

"Nevermind," the king growled in defeat after expending the limit of her intelligence. "Drag pony other chamber, filly work for us now forever. Make pony move mead."

With that, several bogeys tied the ends of the yarn that encased her to the saddles of some rats and then promptly dragged her off around the shelves of bottles and towards the staircase that she had originally intended to find. Now she dreaded what she might find.

After being dragged up the stairs, which had been renovated to act as a ramp, Twist was certain of three things. One, she had a number of splinters from the shoddy workmanship on that ramp. Two, the house was definitely abandoned. And, finally, three, she was inside the biggest honeybee nest(1) she had ever seen.

Honey-laden comb clung the everything. The ceiling, the fan included, the walls, chairs, table, pictures, and even large sections of the floor. Heck, she could even see some proceeding up the staircase to the second floor of the house. And, of course, there were even more bogeys and rats.

And more bottles. Hundreds of them. Some empty, some full, and some spilled out on the floor. That must have been the mead the king had been referring to.

"Cut pony lose," one of the bogeys barked out. Two other bogeys moved swiftly to obey, sawing away at the yarn that tightly bound her.

It didn't matter if they were just wielding plastic butter knives, it still scared Twist. As soon as her mouth was uncovered, she let out the shriek of terror that had been building up inside of her all night long. It was so long and loud that she felt what little energy she had left start to fade away.

"Heeeeelp Meeeee."

Kaboom!

Her shriek was cut short when the ceiling exploded and a large object landed atop of her. Only, it didn't crush her. The reason was swiftly apparent.

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder, Twilight Velvet and Night Light glared out across the assembled little monsters, the fierce energy radiating from them causing their capes to billow as if in an angry wind. Each held a length of shaped wood an stone in their magical grasps.

"Not quite what I was expecting, dear," Night Light mentioned, somewhat confused, as he reached out with his magic and tossed the knife wielding bogeys across the room.

"Kind of impossible to predict this kind of thing," Velvet nodded in agreement, stroking the filly's mane in a soothing fashion.

It took a moment for the little filly to accept that what she was seeing was reality. But, when she did, she hugged that mare's leg in a vicelike grip, crying loudly with what energy she had left.

She wailed weakly. "Thank you, thank you. I wath tho thcared. I didn't mean to fall down that hole."

"I know," the mare comforted her warmly. "We were so worried when we heard you scream back at the house. Never thought I'd see the day when bogeys would kidnap a foal."

"I don't think it's over yet, dear," Night Light said, getting his wife's attention. "These bogeys aren't running like their supposed to."

Velvet looked up from the filly to see that he was right. Bogeys were supposed to be weak little cowards with hardly a half a communal brain cell between them. However, these bogeys just seemed... angry. She tightened her stance about the filly more defensively. "I thought we didn't sense any spells about the house."

"I don't think its a spell," Night Light said as he conjured a shield and blocked a bottle that had, impossibly, been thrown by a bogey from across the room. "Look at all the bottles."

Velvet did, but still didn't get it. "What do they have to do with anything?"

The stallion reached out with his magic and grabbed an open bottle, shaking off the bogeys that clung to it like ants. He gave it a sniff. "I think what we're seeing is the bogey equivalent of being drunk."

"Mead?" Velvet asked, confused, as he snatched the bottle and gave it a sniff of her own. It was almost strong enough to curl her mane. "How did they learn to brew it?"

"The big bogey show us."

Whirling around, the three ponies watched as the king bogey walked up the steps, opened bottle in paw. She took a quick gulp and tossed rest aside. "Big bogey show many things. Now bogey strong."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Night Light warned, raising his staff.

The king growled. "Now bogey show ponies many things."

* * *

Meanwhile...

Whizz! Whirr! Clicketyclick! Whizz! Whirr! Clicketyclick! Whizz! Whirr! Clicketyclick!

* * *

(1) In the wild, honeybees live in nests. Hives are manmade structures made purposefully for harvesting honey.

Comments

[Dan]

3.bp.blogspot.com/-nOdPWvQ6KJI/UoL4L3J5VGI/AAAAAAAAATA/p7veZ4B9c-M/s1600/riekling.png

[pahnazd]

That's shaping out to be the most anticlimactic battle of all times. I predict either Velvet or Night Light casting a simple spell and that's that.
Or I could be wrong and they could prove to be a challenge... nope, sorry, can't say that with a straight face.

[Viper Pit]

8265593
oh so its arranged marriage

[Lancerlot]

The Bogies most effective weapon might be the bees.

[Lancerlot]

8471385
However, as shown in several acts of violence around the world, people who are afflicted with a sincere belief in a falsehood can certainly be dangerous to innocent people who happen to be nearby.