The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-73- Two Strudels, a Tart, and a Turnover

"I'd almost forgotten what it meant to be cold," Lyra chuckled, leaning against Noteworthy as they stood outside a local bakery with the whole family. Each of them had ordered something hot to warm their bellies in the cold winter air. "How's your strudel, Henry?"

Henry, who sat upon her back, patted her head in answer, because good colts didn't talk with their mouths full of apple strudel. The mare chuckled and nuzzled his cheek. "Glad you like it."

Twist was perched upon her father's back, munching a hot tart. "Do we really have to go home already, mommy?"

Bon Bon nodded, kissing her crumb-covered cheek. "Afraid so, Twister. I know time flies when your having fun, but we've already been here a week. Your father and I need to get back to work. Plus, Auntie Lyra's worried about her clinic."

"Hey, when your world's greatest anthropologist, you have a right to worry," Lyra quipped with a huff. "I only trust my assistants as far as I can throw them."

"You're a graduate of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns," the earth pony deadpanned. "You could throw them over this mountain, if you wanted, Lyra."

"I certainly hope you haven't tested that theory, dear," snickered Mercury, who was hovering close-by, eating an identical piece of strudel to Henry's. "At least, not without inviting your father and I. Speaking of which... why haven't you ever invited us to Ponyville?"

"Yeah, that's right," Baritone said, bemused. "You're not ashamed of your parents being thestrals, are you?"

"W-what?" Lyra cried, almost dropping her turnover. "Of course not, papa."

"I don't know," her mother teased. "It's highly suspect that we only just met your friends, or rather, your herd, dear."

"Mama," the mint unicorn yelped indignantly. "I'll have you know that there are several thestrals around Ponyville. I even let a couple of them bite me."

"You what?" Mercury suddenly demanded, scowling and leaning in close to her daughter, eyes blazing. "Who, you foolish filly? Why would you let someone bite you that you didn't at least introduce to your father and I?"

Lyra took a step sharp step back, causing Henry to lose his perch. Her mother swiftly caught him before he hit the ground, but was unable to save his strudel from a similar fate. She simply gave him the rest of hers and nuzzled his face before turning back to scowl irately at her daughter. "You would trust some random thestral? Over your own parents? Why are we the only ones who aren't allowed to bite you?"

Baritone wasn't all that happy either. "A very good, question. Well? Lyra?"

Noteworthy swiftly passed Twist to Bon Bon and placed himself between the two thestrals and his unicorn wife. He cast a worried glance at Henry. While he was sure the matriarch would in no way harm him, ever, the poor colt was definitely going to get a front row view of the impending argument.

"Now, hold on a minute," he glared at the two thestrals. "Lyra's a responsible adult."

Bon Bon barely managed to keep her laughter at that to a squeak. Even the Two Thestrals, while angry, laughed a bit. The unicorn just groaned. "It's a conspiracy, I tells ya."

"Well, she's an adult anyway," the blue stallion rolled his eyes. "So she's old enough to be making her own decisions."

Mercury pressed her nose against his and glowered. "You're not a thestral. You wouldn't understand. She, at least, was raised by thestrals, so she should know that this isn't something that should be taken lightly."

"Then tell me," Noteworthy growled back. "If my wife has done something wrong, I have the right to know."

"She hasn't done anything wrong, just something very... very foolish," the matriarch shot back. With a heavy sigh she leaned back and rubbed her brow with a free hoof. "You do know what happens when we bite people, right?"

The stallion nodded. "You never forget their scent. So... is there something else I should be made aware of? Does that suddenly make our marriage illegitimate, or something?"

"Ugh, of course not," the thestral patriarch answered in disgust. "That'd just be stupid. Shame on you for even thinking that."

"It just means that there are a couple thestrals, who we don't know, that can track our daughter down on a whim," Mercury just about shouted.

"Hey, Dim Sunshine and Phosphate Fizz are good ponies," Lyra defended her position. "They're just a couple of soda jerks who work the nightshift at the bowling alley."

"Well, we don't know that," her mother responded, giving her a no-nonsense glare. "For all your father and I know, they could be looking to take advantage of our baby."

"They're hardly out of college, mama."

"Oh, great." The mare was still unconvinced. "Do they drag you around to see their old frat mates as well? What exactly do you get up to n...?"

"Enough!"

Everyone froze, and more than few passersby stopped to see what was going on.

It was Bon Bon, stepping between both parties defiantly.

"Stop it, all of you," she scolded them as though they were bunch of unruly foals. "You're scaring the children and making a scene."

Mercury looked down at the grandson she was holding and noticed he was rather still, having not even touched the strudel she'd given him. She quickly set about trying to comfort him.

"Oh no." She quickly hugged him close to her chest, rocking side-to-side. "There-there, Henry. No one's mad at you. We're all just... just... we are all just acting very silly... aren't we, Baritone?"

The other thestral nodded. "As our daughter would say: 'it did get out of hand'."

Lyra neatly slipped past her husband and herdsister to take her son back from her mother. "It's okay, mama, papa. And, for what it's worth, I am sorry. I know, you both just want what's best for me. I guess I'm not the greatest daughter in the world."

"Don't say that," Baritone hissed warningly. "Don't even think that, Lyra."

The unicorn chuckled dryly. "Sorry, papa. Anyway. I'll admit, it probably was a rash decision to let those to jerks bite me, while having left you both to worry all the time. But, I... just not yet, okay, mama? Give it a while, okay? After all. I know the first you'd do right now, if I let you bite me."

"Oh?" her mother managed smile.

"Yeah. You'd immediately sniff out the right house just so you could tuck me and your grandchildren into bed. After making a fresh batch of cookies and reading us a bedtime story." Lyra managed a laugh, reaching out with a hoof to hug her parents fondly.

"Don't tempt me, dear," Mercury sniffed, her eyes beginning to water. They she looked over the mint shoulder at other two ponies, and winked mischievously. "I'd be happy to do the same for you two as well."

"Nah, I think we're good," Bon Bon chuckled, glad things were getting patched up. "Right, Notes? Notes?"

"Do you make good cookies?" the blue stallion asked, causing his wife to make face that resembled a sad toad.

"Thhe's Grandma, and grandmath alwayth make good cookieth," Twist explained matter-of-factly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. This made all the adults burst out laughing.

"But, seriously, we're good," Bon Bon reassured the matriarch. She then gave her stallion a firm kick to erase the disappointed look on his face. "Yeah, good."

After moment of heartfelt silence, the good grandmother had an idea.

"Let's not have end your visit with memories of an argument," she said as she released herself from the hug, skillfully managing to slip Henry away from Lyra. She smiled at the fact he was now starting to eat the strudel. "I heard from one of the maids that there's a festival being held in Fillydelphia. What say we take an airship there, spend a few hours together as a family, and then you can take another airship and arrive back in Ponyville just in time to put these foals to bed? Eh, sound good?"

"Actually, that would very nice," Bon Bon said with an appreciative nod, quickly finding herself relieved of Twist. This grandmother loved to snuggle the foals. "Guess we should head back to the manor and pack our things for the trip."

"Well, head back to the manor, yes," Mercury agreed with a nod. "But, Baritone and I will have the staff pack your things. Just give them directions and the key to your house, and they'll travel by airship directly to Ponyville to deliver your luggage, the gifts we bought for the family, and our baby's dowry."

"Convenient, I like that idea," Noteworthy sounded very pleased with that idea. Bon Bon rolled her eyes with a smile at his goofiness. Then both of their eyes popped open wide.

"Her dowry?" the both asked in unison.

The thestrals nodded.

"Of course," Mercury confirmed. Then her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "Oh... did we not discuss it? Our bad. Well, it's quite substantial. After all, we've been collecting it for her ever since she hit that... special age."

Comments

[CGen]

For how progressive they are, Lyra's parents must have missed the memo about current marriage practices.

Did you ever consider doing a story on the cultural differences of the different pony races?

[N4rwh41]

7766885 Anyone doing a story about the cultural differences between the various pony tribes would be fascinating, as long as they weren't just assigned various earth ones, like most stories do.

[Viper Pit]

dafaq is a dowry?

[Shinzakura]

8194111
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry