The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-67- The Meeting of the Dicordantly Honest Agents

"Yes, we know who you are," Mercury said as she watched the two earth ponies stare at her in shock, while at the same time trying to hide the fact that they were reaching for the sharper silverware. Gold, actually. "There's no need for violence. This is in the interest of the Princesses' Sovereign Nation of Equestria. As members of Their Majesties' Security Council, we order you to behave like civilized ponies whilst within our home."

The two ponies froze. Neither spoke for a moment, then Noteworthy stuttered. "Th-th-the T-T-TMS-SC? I mean, the TMSC. As in the highest ranking branch of national security?"

"The very same," Mercury stated, noting, with some satisfaction, that their hooves were slowly moving away from the utensils.

"How can you prove this to us?" Bon Bon asked, still ready to spring into action. "It's going to take more than words or papers."

"Let's suppose for a minute, that we are lying," Baritone said with a smirk. "Would have attacked and killed your herdsister's parents. Or, to you, Noteworthy, would you have done the same?"

The two earth ponies looked aside.

"No," Bon Bon shook her head in defeat. "A few threats and demonstration, perhaps. But... I-I could never bring myself to hurt Lyra like that."

"Of course not," Noteworthy lowered his head. "We're not monsters like those 'secret agents' they're always showing on television." He made air quotes for "secret agents". All the other ponies nodded in agreement and rolled their eyes. Really, there were things even a banana republic would find distasteful.

"Good," Mercury sighed in relief, "we'd hate to have had to forcefully subdue you. Now, as for proof..."

She and Baritone each took a deep breath and then released it at the same time. Even though they appeared to be shrieking, there was no sound. Not any that the earth ponies could have heard anyway. Then, it seemed as though were done shrieking, and were now singing a duet of some kind. What beautiful melody could it have been, if only they had the ears of a thestral?

When the finished they each gave a smirk. Then there was a flash of light and a rather reluctant being appeared, groaning in displeasure.

"Oh, what is it now? I was in the middle of deleting my internet history. Never realized how backed up this thing was. It's taken nearly an hour just to remove the microwaved marshmallow peeps."

All four ponies stared at the draconequus with varying degrees of annoyance. But, there was something odd about him this time.

"Why are you wearing a blindfold, Discord?" Bon Bon asked incredulously.

The masked creature turned to look at her and pointed towards the two thestrals just as easily as if his eyes were uncovered. "Because, candybutt, the last time these two called on me, was in the middle of one of their roleplaying activities. They wanted me to make things more authentic for them."

"That's not the point of this meeting," Mercury rolled her eyes and flicked a dismissive hoof. "Besides, what you created was really a cheesy mood killer if anything. The volcanoes aren't supposed to erupt with salsa, or be made of tortilla chips. Anyway, we need you to prove to these two that we are members of the TMSC."

"Of course you would turn your nose up at originality." Discord sighed, tossing away the mask, which turned into a bat and flew into the rafters, then snapped his fingers. "Fine. Here's the Element of Honesty."

"What in tarnation? How'd I get 'ere?" a rather disheveled Applejack asked, appeared upon the tabletop. Then she saw the thestrals. "Darn it. You two again? Alright, fine. Who do I 'ave to convince this time?"

Baritone and Mercury indicated the other earth ponies. Applejack didn't seem the least bit surprised. "Ugh. So it's you two this time? Oh, Maker above. Why? Yes, these two are part of Their Majesties' Security Council. Can I go now?"

"Of course," Mercury nodded gratefully. "Discord?"

Discord looked up from a tablet he was fiddling with and rolled his eyes. "Fine."

With another snap of his fingers, the apple farmer was gone.

"You may take your leave as well."

"If you need anything else, please hesitate to ask," the bitter god of chaos grunted before vanishing in cloud of powdered sugar. Because reasons.

* * *

Applejack sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath. She looked about, finding herself back in her room. "Consarn it. That's the third time this month I've 'ad that weird dream. Gonna 'ave to ask Twilight to send a letter to Princess Luna to 'elp me figure this one out."

With that, she fluffed up her pillow, nestled into it, and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

In the mean time...

"Alright, I'm convinced," Noteworthy said, his wife nodding as well. Never before had they thought it would take both Discord and the Element of Honesty to convince them of something. "W-what do need from us?"

"To answer that," Baritone began, "I must first tell you something that the portals to the human world didn't close naturally. Someone closed them."

The earth ponies were greatly alarmed. Bon Bon quickly sought to find out more.

"So, the humans from earth finally discovered it and found a way to shut it down?" she asked.

The thestrals shook their heads.

"No," Mercury said with a shake of her head. Her expression was becoming rather dark. "Believe it or not, please don't make us call on Discord again, we did have a few contacts on earth, here and there. They never reported anything that might allude to them even becoming aware the portals ever existed, before we were cut off from them entirely. No, the rips in the fabric of space and time were closed by the very same person, or persons, who opened them in the first place nearly a hundred years ago. Right here, somewhere, in Equestria."

"Which brings us to how this involves Lyra," Baritone spoke took his turn. He cleared his throat before proceeding. "I'm sure you've heard that there are only nine aligned known to have existed, correct?" The couple nodded. "This is a lie. There have been many. We were just fortunate enough to find nine of them before this... monster... could get a hold of them."

Comments

[CGen]

And here I thought this was just going to be a slice of life about helping humans in equestria

[N4rwh41]

7715341 so did I, but this is far more interesting.