The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-31- Saturday Part: Two

Lyra had decided to take a quick jog around Ponyville before heading to Sugarcube Corner so as to work off some of her breakfast, as well as to give them plenty of time to prepare for her visit. She even stopped at the bridge to check if the ice was thick enough for skating later.

This then led to her being carried down stream by the current until the local weather team scooped her out of the water and dried her off with some high winds. A quick trip the spa got her fur, mane and tail back in order. Then she made her way to Sugarcube Corner. But she got sidetracked when a snowball fight erupted in the town square.

After successfully driving off the enemy hordes thanks to the timely arrival of a well-crafted catapult, she found herself dragged in a celebratory dance off. Once the dancing ended, she got roped into making snow angels with some of the towns children, which ended with some hot chocolate brought out by the mothers, who just insisted she have some as well(1).

Attempting once again to reach the bakery, she had a sudden thought, which took her to Town Hall. Where she saw and asked the mayor to put up a warning sign for the thin ice by the bridge. It was quickly approved.

Outside of Town Hall, she found a group of carolers who were in desperate need of a soprano. She stayed with them until they reached Sugarcube Corner, where she managed to pass the hat to another mare.

"Cool. All that only took an hour," Lyra cheered as she looked at her watch. "It's not even lunchtime yet."

"Er, you are coming in, right?" asked Mr. Cake, who was holding open the door. A big CLOSED sign was hanging outside. They had closed early for this meeting.

"Of course, of course," the mint mare said as she slipped past him into the establishment. "Hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"Oh, not all," the lanky stallion shook his head, closing the door and following her inside. "It's given us enough time to prepare for your arrival. Um, Cup Cake and I thought it would be best to meet in the back room, rather than out in the store area."

"Good choice," Lyra nodded. "Be sure the curtains are closed too, this is a private meeting between doctor and patient. No need for eavesdroppers."

"Pinkie already thought of that."

"Oh? Pinkie's going to be there?"

Mr. Cake gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "W-well... it's just that... we've come to think of her as being like a daughter. We just thought that..."

"It's fine," Lyra chuckled. "You're the parents, so I'll trust your judgement. If you think she deserves to be here, than who am I to argue?"

"Oh, good," the yellow stallion sighed in relief.

They made their way into the back room, the family room really, and there they saw everyone sitting patiently. The twins were playing with some toys on the rug with Pinkie hovering close by, and Mrs. Cake sat on the couch next to Timothy who was twiddling his thumbs nervously. There were even refreshments set aside for them. Mr. Cake crossed the room and took a seat on the other side of his adopted son, giving him a quick reassuring side-hug.

Lyra chose the soft chair across from them, taking off her saddlebags and scarf before sitting down. "Awe, I suppose you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"Uh, not really," Mrs. Cake said, confused. "You told me you were going to help us. That is correct, right?"

Lyra sighed in mock despair. "Ah, Hercule Poirot, you are so underappreciated." Pinkie giggled. At least one other pony in the room understood. Possibly. It was hard to tell with that mare. "Well, I guess I'll just begin then."

She pulled out a book from her saddlebags and flipped to a specific page. "So, I assume, you applied the basic bonding activities listed in the standard adoption care package, right?"

The Cakes nodded. "Yes," Mrs. Cake said, leaning in close to Timothy. "I've established a bedtime routine of tucking him in and singing few lullabies before he goes to sleep."

"And I've taken to letting him help out in the kitchen," Carrot added, patting the boy's back.

"And I make sure there were no bogeys in his closet or under his bed," Pinkie piped up, producing a copper ladle, which she brandished like a sword. She wore a serious expression too. "They think they're so sneaky, slipping through the cracks after the parents leave, waiting to scare innocent children out of their treats. One good whack on the head and they learn their lesson good. And how."

This might have been seen as utterly ridiculous, if it weren't for the fact that bogeys did exist in Equestria. They were about the size of a stallion's hoof, nearly indestructible, and cowardly as well as being weak as newborn kittens. Moths were considered more dangerous. What made then troublesome was that loved frightening children with their imitation magic, coercing bits of food and shiny objects out of them. The best remedy was to whack the invasive creature over the head with a blunt object and give it a stern lecture before sending it on its way.

"Good for you Pinkie," Lyra applauded her. "But, let's hear what Timothy thinks of it all. What are some of your favorite things that your new family has done for you? Please, tell us."

All eyes turned on the boy, who was looking a little embarrassed about the words that were revolving around him. He grew a little red when every one leaned in close to listen. He swallowed in apprehension.

"W-well," he began, wringing his hands together. "I... I really like h-how each of you t-take time to be with me. I-it means a lot to me. Really. I really do l-like being tucked in at night, and helping ar-around the kitchen. And Pinkie is just what I would imagine a b-big sister to be like."

Pinkie's slime threatened to split her skull in half as she beamed at the praise. She picked up the twins in her hooves, both of them squealing in infectious glee as Pinkie bounced in place. This seemed to help boost the boy's confidence.

"The twins, also, I like holding and playing with them." He actually managed a laugh. "I like have siblings. It's... it's great. I never thought I would actually... actually..."

He broke down crying. The twins and Pinkie immediately stopped what they were doing and frowned in confusion. "W-why are crying, Timmy?" Pinkie asked, giving the two foals a gentle squeeze. "Please, don't tell me we did something wrong."

Mrs. Cake quickly embraced him, rubbing his back and nuzzling him comfortingly. "There-there, no need to cry, Timmy. Momma's got you. What's all this about?"

Mr. Cake joined her. "It's okay, son. You can tell us what's wrong."

Timothy reached his arms out and hugged the two ponies tightly. Lyra just watched on with a fond smile. This was a good thing.

After a while, the young boy began to calm down and released his grip, as did Mr. Cake. Mrs. Cake, however, refused to let go of her child, heavy tears falling down her own cheeks. Lyra moved quickly to keep things progressing.

"That's good, Timmy," she said reassuringly, "there's probably more, but that's all we needed." It was time to enact the next phase of her plan. "Now, Mr. and Mrs. Cake," she waited until she was sure she had their attention, "perhaps you could tell Timmy some of your favorite things about him. You as well, Pinkie. Please, be as open and honest as you can."

Mrs. Cake was the quickest to volunteer, beating Pinkie by shear fractions.

She raised herself up a bit more and pulled Timmy's head against her chest so that she could look down at his face. "Timmy... since the first day we opened our house to you, I've loved taking care of you. Your very first night here, I even sat by your bedside that night until you fell asleep. You're an especially thankful child, Timmy. No matter how small or how big a thing, you've always expressed gratitude. You've been such a blessing to my little family, and I know my little foals will grow up loving you just as much as your father and I. I suppose, if I have to choose a favorite thing about you... it's that you're here, Timothy. Close enough to hold."

Lyra lifted her book a bit more to try and conceal her watering eyes. She knew this was going to get emotional, she just didn't figure it would effect her this much as well. She cleared her throat.

"Okay, that was good, Mrs. Cake," she said, disguising the emotion in her voice with professionalism. "Now, how about..."

"Ooh, me next, please-please-please-please," Pinkie said, lifting a hoof in the air and waving it about like A+ student in class.

Everyone couldn't help but chuckle, even through the tears, as Pound clung onto the waving pink hoof, squealing in delight.

Lyra shook her head. "Not now, Pinkie. Why don't we let the father go next?"

Pinkie lowered Pound back down to her lap and nodded, slightly disappointed. "Yeah, I can see that working better."

Lyra turned back to the yellow stallion. "Mr. Cake, if you would, please."

Carrot cleared his throat nervously, not wanting to mess up. He placed a firm reassuring hoof on the boy's shoulder. "Son, I also remember your first day. At first, your mother and I were a little worried and confused on how to take care of a human guest in our home. But, we managed the best we could, and made sure everything was ready for your first night here, all the months ago. I've watched you go from that frightened little colt... er, sorry, boy, to the wonderful son I have today. Since the beginning, I've stood by, ready to listen and help you whenever you needed it. I will always be there for you, Timmy. My favorite thing... is that I know my family will be in good hands with you."

Mrs. Cake reached over and pulled her husband into the hug. The lanky stallion nuzzled the boy's head and then whispered in his ear, "plus, with you here, us guys break even with the gals."

Everyone overheard that and laughed.

"Can I go now?" Pinkie asked, looking expectantly at Lyra. The mint mare nodded. "Yes!"

Pinkie promptly placed Pound and Pumpkin in Timmy's lap and leapt back, taking a deep breath. "Timmy, I'm not really a member of the Cake family. I'm a Pie. Although, cakepies(2) are delicious. Why don't we get more orders for those? Anyway. Mr. and Mrs. Cake have been like a second family to me, and when I found out they were going to adopt you, I knew then and there that I wanted you to consider me a big sister. My favorite thing is that, today, you confirmed that you do think of me like a big sister. It truly means a lot."

She stepped up and joined the hug, resting her head below Timothy's chin. "And I will do my best to hold that title. Forever."

That was it. The emotional walls the young boy had built up around himself came crumbling down. He sobbed openly and clung to the family that clung to him. Even the twins were caught up in it all, they hugged their big brother's stomach, cooing comfortingly.

"Th-thank you," Timmy wept joyfully. "Thanks, Pinkie. Thanks... m-mom a-and dad."

Mrs. Cake gasped in shock. He had finally said it. He finally called her mom. She covered his cheek in kisses while she cried along with him. Mr. Cake was right beside them, his heart soaring. Though he managed to hold back a bit, preferring just to nuzzle.

"This calls for a celebration," Pinkie shouted, jumping off the couch and pulling a giant cakepie from behind her back. No one questioned it. It was just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. "Care to join us for a slice, Lyra? Lyra?"

All eyes turned towards the now vacant chair. She was gone. Everyone was so caught up in the moment that she had just slipped away.

Pinkie shrugged as she quickly divided the confection into appropriately sized portions. "Oh, well. Her loss."

* * *

Lyra stood outside the bakery, dabbing at her eyes with the end of her scarf. That had worked out even better than she had hoped. It felt good. Knowing that she had helped a family in need. They didn't need her sticking around anymore. This was their day.

When she felt she was composed enough, she stole a glance at her watch. "I'll head to rarity's after lunch. Hehe. I wonder what'll happen on my way to the café."

She was off, and promptly sidetracked by hot apple cider stand that promised her a whole jar in exchange for an albino blue jay feather. Now, where could you find such a feather? Quills 'n' Sofas of course.

And she was off again.

(1) Someone you trust helps your kids use up some of that infinite energy, you'd be thankful too.

(2) Yes, this is real, praise all that is holy.

Comments

[Schroedingers_Katze]

Pinkie took a page out of Susanns Sto Helits Big Book of beating Beasties I see. Nice.

Also, a big Dawww for these feels.^^

[Rokas]

Pinkie's slime threatened to split her skull in half as she beamed at the praise.

Dangit, this is why you can't keep slimes as pets, Pinkie! Oh sure, they start out all sweet and little and cute, but next thing you know they go from feeding off of the gunk on your teeth like a living toothbrush and start growing so large they threaten your skull integrity!

Let's hear it for silly typos.

...Wait, cakepies? *Googles*... There is a God, and He loves us very much.

All this time I've been saying "the cake is a pie!" as a joke, and now I realize I was telling the truth all along.

[Nikita]

Cakepies are real. Praise Ponk.

[Curtis LeMay]

beating Pinkie by shear fractions

mere fractions of a second.