The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-30- Saturday Part: One

Lyra tossed her faithful companion, Bruno(1), at her alarm clock. Years of training giving her a pavlov response, as well as an incredible aim. The poor brass alarm made a terrible clatter as it fell behind the dresser.

Smacking her lips, she sniffed the air. Not until she smelled pancakes, oatmeal, or eggs, perhaps even waffles, would she get up out of tender loving bed.

"Lyra, it's your turn to clear the snow from the walkway."

Curse you, Bon Bon.

The poor mare threw aside her blankets and stomped her way up the stairs of her basement apartment, making her presence known throughout the whole house. The other inhabitants barely noticed as she made her way to the front door. Just another Saturday in the household.

"Burn into nothingness foul devils of the cold," Lyra shrieked as she lit up an exceptionally powerful flame spell on to melt the snow away from the stone path that led to the street. After all, she had gone to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. The billowing cloud of steam was all that remained to tell the terrible tale.

"Good morning, Lyra," a neighbor bid her as she passed by the front of the house.

Lyra paused a moment to wave back and return a kind hello, before heading back inside.

She stomped her way back through the house and into her room, slamming the door behind her. The mare then proceeded to cocoon herself with her blankets and plushies until only her nose was visible.

Now, just to wait for breakfast. In the meantime, she would contemplate the mysteries of the universe from the confines of her warm encasement. Such as the fact that later today she would play in the snow like a child, contrasting her earlier behavior. Somethings, she mused, were just unsolvable.

"Auntie Lyra, it's on."

The universe was boring. Lyra shot out bed and zipped up the stairs like her tail was on fire, a girlish grin of glee lighting up her face.

She skidded to a halt in the living room and slipped her rump under the Kotatsu's futon next to Twist's, and promptly began tapping her hooves in expectation.

Anime, one of those things that was so bizarre, so over-the-top, and so much fun, that their society just had to adopt it. Ponies, typically young males and tomboys, ate it up like saltwater taffy, whether it was the human's stuff, or their own. Though, this particular show, which was Lyra's and Twist's favorite, was a mix of both.

It was actually modeled off the Elements of Harmony, except with enormous impractical weapons that matched their special talents. Princess Twilight carried a giant scroll containing innumerable dues ex machinas(2), Rainbow Dash carried a carried a giant boomerang that transformed into a hundred smaller boomerangs with a sonic rainboom, Applejack wore heavy metal boots that allowed her to smash anything, Fluttershy wore special glasses to help contain the immense power of the Stare, Pinkie Pie rode atop a giant alligator armed with howitzers(3), and Rarity carried a giant enchanted sowing needle.

This Saturday's episode featured just Rarity, summoned by the Table to a far off island. An island under attack by giant crabs. Using her giant needle and magical thread, Rarity fought them in an epic battle that reduced the island's active volcano to rubble and unearthed an ancient relic that she brought back to the Castle of Friendship. Another piece to the secret origin of the Elements' creators.

It ended with the Mane Six dancing in Japanese schoolgirl uniforms while the end credits rolled.

"They could have at least found voice actors that sounded like the real ones," Bon Bon mentioned from the other side of the kotatsu. Both Lyra and Twist gave her unamused looks. "What? I'm just saying."

"Typical," Lyra whispered to Twist, who giggled.

Breakfast had been brought out sometime in the middle of the episode, waffles and scrambled eggs, with a pitcher of apple juice and a bottle of milk. Noteworthy had staggered from the master bedroom and into the living room near the end, accepting some coffee and a kiss from Bon Bon, who already had a large plate prepared for him.

"So," Lyra began watching as the drowsy stallion clumsily ate his breakfast, "been busy?" She grinned and waggled her eyebrows incredulously.

Bon Bon glared at her, while Noteworthy took a moment to process what she had just said, then grinned in confirmation. At least until his wife gave him a kick in the shin. Then he adopted a serious expression.

"Don't you have some things to take care of today, Lyra?" the candy maker growled warningly.

Still smiling, Lyra took the hint and said her goodbyes before gathering her scarf and saddlebags and heading out into the cold.

(1) A newer one, as the old one had been lost in that landslide.

(2) Not really necessary, but it looked cool.

(3) Make her mad, we dare you.

Comments

[Rokas]

I'd watch that.