• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,512 Views, 2,988 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Rutaceae, by Masterweaver

"So you know that your principal's a bitch, right?"

"Yeah, she's my aunt." Lemon Zest leaned left, neatly dodging Rainbow's hot-coffee spit take. "See, I've learned to expect that response—"

"Your aunt is Abacus Cinch?!"

"Mmhmm. Auntie Abby, I call her. Gets me detention every time."

"That—That..." Rainbow tapped her chin. "Actually, that kind of explains a lot about you. In sort of a 'rebelling against your elders' way."

"Yeah. Weird thing, my mom's actually the older sister," Lemon explained. "Famous food critic, I think she's a unicorn aspect now? Everyone was surprised when she got pregnant, but bing-bang-boom, all that. She sent me over to Crystal Prep cause it's supposedly 'the best', but..." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, me and the other students didn't gel, you know?"

"Huh. You know, Twilight says they have high standards for scores over there. Why didn't you get kicked out?"

"Total legit genius. If I actually gave a shit I might have trumped Twilight... maybe." The Shadowbolt leaned back. "Sort of like Pinkie, you know? I mean I don't know if you get the logistics that go behind all her stunts, even with magic laughter power, but I guarantee you that brain is operating at warp speeds on a slow day. Of course, warping the mind leads to warped thoughts, which explains Pinkie and me; we're too smart to be sane. Sort of like Uncle Dissy was."

Rainbow nodded. "Right, right, Cinch is mister Discord's ex—Wait. Hold on." She pointed a finger. "That means you're Principal Celestia's cousin!"

"Cousin-in-law, twice half-removed."


"Genealogy is fuckin' weird."

Author's Note:

It's the taxonomical family of the lemon tree.

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