Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

The Margaritaville Search, by FoME

"Salt."

Sunset nodded. "Yup."

Twilight got up from her unpronounceably Scandineighvian chair and started pacing about Sunset's living room. "Not alcohol. Salt."

"Swear on Celestia's horn," Sunset said, still lounging on her couch.

"The primary intoxicant in Equestria is sodium chloride."

"Sodium more than anything. The equine nervous system is really sensitive to those extra electrolytes." Sunset smiled, looking off into the distance. "When I first got here, I couldn't believe I was allowed to buy instant ramen and not beer."

"I... I just..." Twilight threw up her hands. "Salt!?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "You know, I could always turn you into a pony, see how you handle it."

"I thought the entire purpose of how we reintroduced magic to the world was to keep us from turning into ponies." After a moment, Twilight added, "Excepting headgems and such."

"I don't see why you should be the one who gets to cuddle me all the time." Sunset crossed her arms and pouted. It was admittedly a very cute pout.

Twilight, however, had a secret weapon in the war of cute. A blend of memory and imagination called up a much smaller version of herself in a star-spangled party hat who gasped at Sunset in delight. "You weren't the one who wished for a unicorn best friend to do magic science with when she blew out the candles on her sixth birthday cake."

After a moment looking at the tiny Twilight hugging her leg, Sunset said. "I don't even remember what I wished for on my sixth birthday." She patted the little illusion on the head and gave a disappointed "Aww" when it vanished.

"I kept meticulous notes."

Sunset rolled her eyes for some reason. "Of course you did."

"Getting back on topic, salt?"

"Do we really need to get back on that topic?"

Twilight pointed towards the kitchen. "I've seen how many instant ramen packets you keep in your pantry. I know you've altered your digestive system. Should I be concerned?"

That got another eyeroll and a sarcastic "I can stop anytime I want."

"Sunset, seriously."

"Don't worry, Twilight." Sunset sat up and tapped her temple. "My mind doesn't depend on a physical brain these days. I could down a dozen Pickled Slugs and not even notice if I didn't want to."

Twilight screwed up her face. "Pickled Slugs?"

"They sound a lot more appetizing in Equish."

"What are they?"

"Not every species in Equestria produces alcohol as part of their digestive processes. Legend has it Princess Celestia invented the Pickled Slug as a sort of universal social lubricant during a Convocation of the Creatures." Sunset hummed in thought. "It might have actually been Princess Luna. A lot of her accomplishments got attributed to Celestia during her banishment."

"I see." Twilight spent a few moments contemplating her next question, then decided she was due for a bit of spontaneity. "I... don't suppose you recall the recipe?"

Sunset blinked. "Really?"

"I've been told some degree of underaged drinking is a vital part of a full high school social experience. And you've piqued my curiosity."

That got a smirk. "I can pique more than that." A golden flash manifested two shotglasses on the cheap table. Sunset floated one to Twilight's waiting hand. "Cheers."

---

Twilight awoke to a pounding headache. And neckache, limbache, tailache, hornache...

Wait.

Yes, she did in fact appear to have hooves at the moment. And a sleeping Sunset—a rarity in and of itself—was cuddling her like a beloved stuffed toy.

"I'd think this was all part of some cunning scheme," Twilight whispered at a volume that wouldn't split her head open, "but I'm too tired to care."

Twenty minutes later, the alarm went off, resulting in an angry whinny and a horn blast. Which, to be fair, worked just as well in terms of waking up Sunset.

Author's Note:

Some people claim there's a goddess to blame, but she knows it's her own darn fault.

Comments

[Bugsydor]

I appreciated the reference in the author's note.

[Arkonfleight]

I wonder how much sweat you'd have to consume to get a salt buzz. And how confused they'd be by gatorade.

[Darkstarling]

9934826
“So... humans DON’T consider getting sloshed a part of first aid and sports?”

The little wishy illusion is just so precious. Too young to have wanted a unicorn girlfriend to do magic science with... but I’m just saying, with that success rate she needs to revisit her other birthday wishes.

[LEGION55]

I was hoping they'd find it.....

[WanderingPony]

9934826

"You mean these "sports drinks" are for the players, not the fans?"

[Firemind]

As a side note, I'm wondering how much of a deal Equestria makes out of intoxicants in general. It's always seemed fairly chill about it to me ... only really objecting when there was a problem.

[GMBlackjack]

Appleloosa did have a salt bar...

-GM, master of huh, that makes sense.

[keroko]

9935931
Well, when it comes to alcohol... it's kinda hard as an equine to get drunk of it when the body produces it naturally as part of their digestion, so they'd be pretty chill towards it. It's more like sugar for them.

Things that actually intoxicate them, though? I suppose about the same way we do, given how that drunk stallion in Appleloosa got cut off for being too smashed.

[cogwheelbrain]

McDonald's must seem like an Alcoholic's dream from a pony's perspective.

[BenRG]

The big disappointment of that last EqG special is that we didn't get to see just how completely Sci-Twi freaked out after her Equestrian 'field trip'!