Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Who am AI, by FoME

There were things Twilight couldn't stand about Microchips, and she knew it was because she couldn't stand those things about herself.

The two were, after all, very similar. Both were purple, bespectacled, genius-level, unicorn-aspect engineers who had friends outside of their expected social circles. Both needed those friends, lest they focus on a technical goal to the point of non-clinical mania. Both occassionally achieved this state of hyperfocus regardless.

Thus, when Twilight paced in front of a despondent Microchips, she berated herself as much as him when she said, "So, let's review the depths of your short-sightedness."

He rose and made for the band practice room's door. "Maybe I can just ask Mr. Discord for help."

A raspberry-colored wall of force slammed into place barely an inch from his face. Judging by his expression when he turned around, Twilight's expression wasn't any more inviting. "You asked me for help, Microchips. You're getting it, starting with constructive criticism."

He sighed and sat on the stairs leading up to the room's raised platform. "This really isn't helping the whole 'righteous right hoof of the Bacon Horse' motif Sunset's church gives you."

"True, but irrelevant. So." Twilight began to pace, hands held behind her back. "To begin with, you decided it was a good and necessary idea to endow a toaster with self-awareness, completely ignoring any and all warnings given to us by Battlestar Galaxia."

"The toaster was just a case of using available materials to account for a budget shortfall," said Microchips. "By the time I'd saved up enough for a decent monitor or speaker system, I'd already spent two weeks calibrating heating elements. I didn't want to waste all that time and effort."

That got Twilight to pause in her pacing. Briefly. "I admit, I've been in your shoes there. However, that doesn't change the fact that your creation could only express itself through body language and burning things."

"Well, anything sounds bad if you put it like that."

"Then you decided to have this toast-faced robot run on the Paradiamond Framework, perhaps the most ethically questionable software ever written."

Microchips got to his feet. "Okay, now you're being unfair. The only other AI platform worth bothering with is Gillion Think, and that just works by giving Gillion another body and more processing power." He shook his head. "No thank you."

Twilight stopped and dipped her head. "Fair point, but that doesn't change the fact that this invention of yours still ran on a platform that nearly caused a robot apocalypse."

Microchips threw his hands into the air. "How else was I supposed to make it work?"

"Why did you need to make it work?" said Twilight, following suit. "You were entering a pet show! Go to the shelter, Fluttershy will give you more animals than you'll know what to do with!"

"You name it, at least one of my parents is allergic to it. I lucked out there."

"Okay. Fine. But on top of all of that." Twilight stomped for emphasis. "On top of all of that, you had the absolute gall to give it a designation based on a character whose entire narrative arc consists of fleeing from wrongful persecution by an uncaring authority. And you're still surprised that JVJ-24601 ran away?"

Microchips shrugged. "I really never saw it coming."

"Ugh." Twilight facepalmed.

The smack echoed for a few moments. "So... are you going to help me find it?"

After a deep breath, Twilight nodded. "Of course. I just wanted to be sure that we covered all the myriad ways in which you botched this first. And you will be hearing from PAULDRONS."

Microchips cringed as he considered that. "Couldn't you just lecture me more?"

"Don't tempt me."

Author's Note:

Friendly reminder that JVJ-24601 is a canon thing that exists in the source material. Though in canon, Microchips had to write the software himself in an environment with lower narrativium levels.

Comments

[Daedalus Aegle]

*Honestly can't decide if the AI uprising based on Les Mis is better or worse than the alternatives*

[Arkonfleight]

9671298
Much more singing than usual, for sure.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9671298 9671308
And the barricades would build themselves.

[Speven Dillberg]

I suspect this was still a better outcome than Talkie Toaster.

[PiMan]

Is the name of the toaster mentioned in the original EqG video? Because I haven't seen it yet, but I can't see how bronies would have come up with that name instead.

9671298
Better. At least the uprising failed in Les Mis.

[Daedalus Aegle]

9671308 9671315 9671603
At least this AI uprising would feed the masses, which is more than can be said for most AI uprisings. Even if it only feeds them bread toast.

[Neece]

"Okay. Fine. But on top of all of that." Twilight stomped for emphasis. "On top of all of that , you had the absolute gall to give it a designation based on a character whose entire narrative arc consists of fleeing from wrongful persecution by an uncaring authority. And you're still surprised that JVJ-24601 ran away?"

Let's be honest here, this is the REAL reason Twilight's pissed about. Lack of genre savvyness

[EnderHooves]

Oh god. Well, at least it's not a depressed toaster that doesn't know what to do with its life like in red dwarf.

[GMBlackjack]

I remember when I was a toaster, I was pretty ordinary, except I was, well, myself. Which was decidedly unlike me, now that I think about it.

-GM, master of toasters.

[Banjo64]

Huh. For a second there I thought this was a reference to an certain 1987 movie about a sentient toaster...

[Poet Knight]

'righteous right hoof of the Bacon Horse'

Ahhh... such a beautiful sentiment.