- Member Since 13th Mar, 2016
- offline last seen Oct 20th, 2016
Damcclub
I love to read! I love Miraculous Ladybug, MLP and APPLEDASH!!!
Damcclub
Joined 13th Mar, 2016 ·
Offline
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i havent even readed it yet but i like it. Aj and rd are fav characters.
If this is just a "one shot", then why is it labeled "Incomplete"?
And this is an excellent fic, with my fave shop, AppleDash.
I shall be following this one, so have a Fave, a Track and and Upvote.
Oh, and a Follow, too.
7078700
caught in the act 
A good short story, and its especially good for your first fanfic. Im impressed. I just uploaded my first fic and it got more dislikes then likes so.... keep on writing, youre a good writer. B.t.w. are you already a memberof project x? I would really like you to write in project x (check my profile page for more information on what Project X is.)
More please! MORE APPLEDASH CUTENESS!!!!
First I want to say that the story is good overall and the voices are unique. However I couldn't help but laugh at the repetitiveness of the whole useless argument at the beginning, especially when it's supposed to be a serious moment. Maybe in the future throw some longer more passionate dialogue into the arguments to heat it up, give the character's actions some higher stakes. IMO
Keep up the good work. ;)
7078709 well, it is but it has 2 parts!
7079404 thanks! I know it's kinda bad but it is my first try!
7080007 Okay, thanks for explaining that, hun.
7081339 Thanks! I'm glad to hear that!
I knew I should have shit my big mouth!"
As amusing as this is, shouldn't it be shut?
7207165 Hehe. Typo.
7222879 BAHAHAHAHA! I figured.
I should have shit my mouth? What the buck? Hahaha! To good to be true! So funny so perfect!
Great story - It really is.
The only part that bugged me was when you seemed to use capitals in a string of words, like: "And your coat? SO BUCKING FUZZY AND SOFT!! UGH!!! I just can't stop touching it. It's like a cloud but 100 times more soft!"
I think it'd add more effect to the story if you added at the end of the line something like
"And your coat?" She went silent for a moment, a bit of jealousy in her new tone "I-It's just SO bucking fuzzy and soft..." She hung her head
"Ugh!" She groaned sadly
"I just can't stop touching it. It's... I-It's like a cloud but 100 times more soft!" Her eyes met Applejack's once more
(But hey, I'm just throwing my two cent's into the hat, you don't have to listen to me)
WHO THE BUCK INTERRUPTED THEM!?!
Was it Fluttershy?