Chronicles of the Planeswalkers

by Eagle Heart

Italian Bullshit

The three plop down in the middle of ponyville in a small dog pile. Though, immediately after they touch the dirt, a hand raises from the bottom and a young voice calls out.

“I DEMAND BACON!” Redik yells from under Aquila and Applejack.

“Damn it Redik... not even two seconds after we get back...” Aquila groans while he struggles to get off Applejack.

But before the mare could even make the effort to get off, she’s immediately thrown to the ground as the young wizard rises to his feet.

“Hey!” Applejack let’s out as she is tossed.

Aquila makes sure to flick Redik behind the ear, after his friend yelps he says “That’s no way to treat a lady.” As soon as he says this, he helps the mare to her feet.

“Bacon is more important than your bullshit manners. Bacon is more important than anything we do ever in the history of time, space, and the emptiness between the seat cushions of your couch!” Redik retorts, it was already obvious he was passionate about the thing he calls “bacon”.

“Only you, Redik, can make a speech about food that starts terrible and ends even worse.” the assassin comments as he brushes himself off. At this rate he’s going to become Rarity’s number one customer...

“Listen you two, if ah can convince Twilight to figure out a way ta get ya’ both bacon... will ya’ stop arguin’ so much?” Applejack attempts to compromise with the two, standing in between them just in case they try to fire some shots.

“That’s a great idea Applejack. I am willing to compromise, but I doubt culo pepita here is.”Aquila barks at his rival-friend-thing in front of him. It’s difficult to tell which is which by now.

“There we go with the boppity boopity mumbo jumbo gibberish bullshit again! Say one more thing in that italian bullshit and I’m going to pop you one in the face!” Redik snaps, he’s actually turning red in the face.

Aquila winks to Applejack, signaling that he has an idea.

She gets the hint and backs off, leaving nothing but space between the two.

The assassin looks Redik directly in the eyes and says “Provalo.”

“THAT’S IT!” Redik yells and swings a fist aimed directly at Aquila’s head.

The assassin immediately responds by catching his wrist. He shuffle’s under Redik’s arm and forces it up against the wizard’s back, then he kicks the back of the young man’s knee to make him fall on his side. After Redik hits the ground, Aquila immediately plants his knee on the arm he is still holding on to and twists his opponent’s wrist and pushes down, palm facing the ground.

“Ah you piece of fu- AAHAAAA...” Redik attempts to let out before Aquila puts more pressure on his wrist.

“COMPROMISE!” Aquila attempts to command his rival.

“THE ONLY COMPROMISE I’M MAKING IS THE ONE THAT MAKES ME KICK YOUR ASS!” Redik yells back before raising his other arm and using his magic to make it burning hot. To the point of his hand glowing red like hot metal. He proceeds to touch Aquila on the shoulder with it.

A quick burning noise sounds before the assassin yelps and jumps back, gripping his slightly burnt shoulder. “Alright... how about this for a compromise... Everfree forest, fifteen minutes from now, first to a knockout wins. No magic, no weapons, like men.” Aquila suggests, he’s had enough of Redik’s crap and it was about time they duked it out like the manly men they are.

“Fine! Beating the shit out of you is a dream come true!” Redik snaps back before storming off to the Everfree Forest.

“I know what you dream about! And it’s not that!” Aquila gets in the last word and chuckles at the very obvious and loud groan that came from the wizard in the distance. The added arm flailing just made it funnier.

After Redik was out of sight, Applejack approaches her friend and looks at him a bit worriedly. “Ah’m not exactly sure violence is the best solution...”

“Look, he’s clearly very angry at me. Because of this, I’ll let him get a few free shots. He can’t hit very hard anyways, though after a few hits I’m going to have to take him down. I’ll do it swiftly and quickly so he just wakes up with a small headache and a few bruises. Problem solved, then he’s back to his annoying but happy dumbass self..” Aquila tries his best to reason with Applejack but it is obvious she is still worried about both of their well-being.

[h]

The fifteen minutes pass and the assassin arrives at the treeline to the forest. He made sure to get Twilight to observe as a witness, he would’ve asked Applejack but it was obvious she just wanted to go home and rest. After all she’d been through with those two, it was a little more than she could handle.

“Aquila, you really shouldn’t do this. Both of you are going to hurt yourselves again!” Twilight tries to reason with her assassin friend.

“Twilight, for the fifth time. I have a plan. It’s no big deal.” he retorts, starting to get a little annoyed obviously.

“I... okay i trust you...” the mare reluctantly complies and follows along.

They both arrive at the spot where Redik was waiting and Aquila says “Ready to get started?”

“ 1, 2, 3, GO!” Redik yells out and charges at Aquila. He slams into the unprepared assassin and pins him up against a tree.

Aquila shoves him off and ducks under a punch. Instinctively he jabs Redik in the chin but remembers he’s gotta let the wizard get a few shots in... so he braces himself.

Redik hooks Aquila and strikes right in the jaw. Then another for a quick daze. Then the wizard shoves his opponent into a tree and knees him directly in the gut.

”Alright, that’s enough... for one go.” Aquila thinks to himself before bringing his guard back up. He deflects a punch and shoves Redik back.

They pause for a moment and he can see the look on Redik’s face. it’s just red and full of nearly emotionless rage. That’s the only way Aquila can describe it. It is clear his rival is furious but his face had a sort of calm to it. Like a look of pure focus...

The assassin brings his arm up expecting another punch but was completely surprised at what his opponent did next.

Redik grabs Aquila by the robe collar and headbutts him directly in the forehead. His anger dulled the pain quite a bit and he grabs the stunned assassin and smashes his face into the trunk of a tree. A couple chunks of teeth fly out of his rival’s mouth as he flops to the ground.

After Aquila hits the ground, Redik gets on top of him and just starts wailing on his opponent’s face. “Take this you, son! of! A! BITCH!” he yells out hit after hit. The only thing that kept him from continuing was Twilight’s magic which threw him back.

“He’s had enough Redik!” Twilight scolds while rushing to Aquila’s side. Who was completely out cold by the way. She quickly uses her magic to carry him back to her library. Though this put quite a bit of strain on her.

Though back in the forest Redik just sat there... resting up against a blood stained tree. “That felt good... a little too good...” for the first time ever he actually wasn’t proud of what he did. But it was also the first time since he met Aquila that he actually had a somewhat clear head.

In the silence of the forest he just thinks, something he was always told he was never very good at, but he’s doing it regardless. “... I still want my bacon.”

[h]

A few hours later, Aquila awakens to the smell of hot tea next to him. “Nnnngh...” was all he could let out in his haze.

“Aquila, oh thank Celestia you’re awake!” the voice of Twilight says behind him.

The assassin tried to speak but his jaw was swollen from the hits, and his overall mouth felt weird from the missing parts of teeth. All he could let out were muffled noises and hums.

“Oh yeah... the swelling. Sorry.” the purple mare tells him.

Aquila attempts to say it’s nothing which was barely understandable.

“Um... do you want some time alone? To you know... rest.” she asks, it wasn’t actually for rest. It was more to give him time to think about... well what happened earlier.

The swollen assassin just nods and closes his eyes. Already aware of Twilight’s departure.

It’s been a long time since Aquila’s gotten his ass handed to him like that. It was going to take a while before he could forgive Redik for fighting so rough... and beating him so quickly. It was quite the humbling experience... but a little more than the old assassin could handle.

Author's Note:

Here you go, a small not-bonus chapter added to the story! Some serious shit went down this time huh? Now i'm sure it's not up to par with other chapters seeing as how no writing has been done by me in a while. So naturally the cogs are a bit rusty.

I still hope you guys enjoy and hopefully can wait until the next chapter is out.

Comments

[JellyMyst]

Something went wrong with html tags. A quarter of the chapter is italicized.

[Eagle Heart]

3885868 Fix'd forgot a /

[Uberdeathninja]

Plainswalkers? And ponies? Hmm... Not sure if interested...

[Eagle Heart]

3885967 Well if you can wade through a pile of shit to the comedy gold on the other side, you might be.

or you can just read the comments below and decide for yourself.

[Uberdeathninja]

3885973

Lord knows I'll try...

[Phys]

I want bacon

[Eagle Heart]

3888678 Bacon is life.

[Phys]

3895583 agreed

[Eagle Heart]

3916894 This is why I give a warning in the description.

[Fucks Ungiven]

3916919 Is this still alive?

[Eagle Heart]

4978295 Recent developments over the past few months have made writing nearly impossible due to time constrictions and other hobbies getting in the way. I do intend to update the story for sure, but I don't see it happening in the very near future.

[Fucks Ungiven]

4978309 alright look forward to it then. I'll save this story for later then.

[Eagle Heart]

5319316 Do keep in mind how long ago that chapter was written. I am aware of its issues as well as for most of the older chapters and do intend to rewrite them some day.

[Rikki]

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5 yrs no upd8s.

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[Eagle Heart]

9705425
:(

[Rikki]

9743837

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DDD:

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