Chronicles of the Planeswalkers

by Eagle Heart

Bringing Down the Labs Finale: The Burning Redik.

(No actual food carts were harmed in the making of this chapter.)

The two ran through the dark forest as fast as their feet could take them. They had to stop more than Aquila would have liked, thanks to Redik complaining about the horrible cramps in his stomach. Aquila gave him a few new ones calling Redik things like “idiota” and “maghetto stupido (stupid wizard boy).”

As they arrived at the edge of the forest, the two were surrounded by smoke. Redik was coughing relentlessly and Aquila tries to ignore it as best he could, of course he couldn't help but cough some too. It was smoke after all.

“Aquila, is this that hell you were talking about?” Redik asks.

“No. I’ve been in it ever since I met you, and it’s worse than this.” Aquila says to Redik.

“I see... Wait hey!” Redik says, he punches Aquila in the shoulder.

Aquila rubs the shoulder he was punched in, and slapped Redik on the side of the head. After he did so, he heard sniffles coming from the wizard. “Are you crying?”

“No! It’s the smoke!” Redik says while holding the now sore side of his face... *sniff... sniff...*

“Bambino (baby).” Aquila says. They reach the village, which was now literally engulfed with fire, smoke and fire surrounding all of them. The villagers were screaming and running everywhere, as if satan himself just decided to visit. “Porca puttana (holy shit)...”

“I swear I did not do this!” Redik disclaims, raising his hands in the air... unintentionally letting out a fireball, and destroying an entire food cart. “Whoops... That’s never happened before...”

Aquila notices this, and facepalms. “Redik... you are a natural disaster on steroids.”

“Hey! That was not on purpose! But it will be if you keep calling me names!” Redik yells at Aquila angrily.

“In case you haven’t noticed, the entire cazzo di paese (fucking village) is up in flames around us!” Aquila yells back at the wizard. “And you’re thinking of lighting even more things on fire! Dumbass!”

“Well sorry! Just it’s fun to watch things burn!” Redik yells in his pathetic defense.

“THAT MAKES IT WORSE!” Aquila scolds Redik.

“I don’t care!” Redik argues.

“I- oh merda! Attento! (Oh shit! Look out!)” Aquila bellows. He pushes Redik back, and jumps backward, almost getting ran over by a flaming horse... wait... flaming horse?!
“Ow!” Redik yells. “I thought only ponies lived here!”

“Me too! Quali le palle alci (What the moose balls) is a horse doing here?!” Aquila asks to no one in particular.

“STOP SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH!” Redik yells.

“STOP BEING A DUMBASS AND SHUT UP!” Aquila yells back.

“No you!” Redik shouts as he stands back up.

“No y- merda!” Aquila lets out before he dodge rolls under a flaming sword.

A hellish figure steps out of the smoke and emerges in front of them. He appeared like a human, but he had rotting flesh and a flaming skull for a head. His sword was almost as large as Redik was, not to mention it was on fire! His horse came up behind from behind, it was brown in fur color, it’s eyes were that of fire instead of eyeballs, so were its hooves. Its mane and tail were a charred black. This horse looked like it could kick your ass all by itself.

“WHAT THE SHIT STICKS IS THAT?!” Redik screams, running like hell over to Aquila.

“Okay I was wrong... now I’m in hell...” Aquila says.

“I thought I might find you here. You’ve been causing me much trouble in my plans.” The... demon thing says. Its terrifyingly demonic voice sounded like 100 endlessly tortured souls crying out for help. “My name is Dargonax. I’m not here for you two, I’ve only grown rather bored of my disguise and decided to torture a few... or many innocents to send a message. I am here.”

“Gah! You smell like my grandmother!” Redik says to Dargonax.

“SILENCE!” Dargonax yells at Redik.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” Redik screams like a girl and goes and jumps into one of the burning buildings... it takes him a few seconds to realize where he just went. “SHIT!” He jumps out and rolls on the ground to get his robe to stop burning.

“Do you know him?” Dargonax asks.

“Sadly... yes.” Aquila replies, facepalming at the same time.

“I can dispose of him.” Dargonax suggests to Aquila.

“Hey, he might have an IQ of 0.1, but he’s still somewhat my friend!” Aquila shouts at Dargonax, actually standing up for his friend, for once.

“I heard that!” Redik yells.

Aquila turns his head back. “Shut up!”

“Enough of this!” Dargonax yells with immense power in his voice. He points his sword at Aquila, and a torrent of flame erupts from it.

Aquila barely dodges it in time, and leapt at Dargonax, his right hidden blade in the air and ready to strike.

Dargonax smashes Aquila with his fist and sends him flying back through one of the burning walls of the buildings. Aquila was like a gnat to him.

Aquila barely got up out of the rubble. He has never been hit that hard before. “Porca puttana ... Che... Male... (Holy shit... That...Hurt...) ” He falls face first into the ashen ground, unconscious.

“Aquila! Don’t worry I’ll kick this poor piece of shit’s ass!” He sends a fireball straight for Dargonax.

Dargonax doesn’t even have to move, the fireball just bounces off and hits another food cart.

“Ha ha ha!” Dargonax laughs. “Why would you think fire would work against a Firelord?! Buffoon!” Dargonax sends a blast of energy straight at Redik.

Redik couldn’t even see it, and in turn, is sent into another food cart. Redik manages to raise his hand. “But mommy! I wanna stay home and bake cookies with yoouuuuuuu!” He then slips into unconsciousness and his arm went limp.

Dargonax returns to his horse and opens up... wait... is that a portal? The same kind that Aquila and Redik use? That must mean... oh noooo...OH NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Dargonax rides into the portal and returns to his own plane, leaving the village to burn to ashes.

A few hours later, nothing was left but rubble and smoke in the village. Everyone was either dead or gone. Redik managed to get up first, his robe was now tattered shreds and his skin practically glowing red. “Euuuuuuggggh...” he lets out as he stands up. It was like he was left in a tanning bed for too long. He takes one step and falls face first into the ground. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!” He screams into the ash on the ground, his skin making quite a nice sizzling sound. He tried to get up, but it hurt too much. “Aquilaaaaaa!!!!” he cries. “Carry me!!!!”

No response.

“My everything burns!” Redik cries.

Meanwhile, Aquila stood up after digging his way out of the remains of the building he was knocked into. Luckily, he wasn’t burnt, just battered and bruised from that one hit, even a couple broken ribs... and his back hurting more than anything. “Argh...” Aquila could hear in the distance, crying. He knew who it was. “Quit crying you baby!” He yells at the voice. He could barely hear a “shut up!” in the distance.

He covered his bleeding torso with his hands and stumbled out. He slowly walks over to Redik’s crispy, but not overcooked, body. “Mmmm crispy awesome dinner.” Aquila mocks Redik.

“SHUT THE DONKEY BALLS UP AND HELP ME UP YOU NINNYSHIT!” Redik screams at Aquila.

“Oooookay.” Aquila slaps his hand onto Redik’s back and pulls him up. He had to cover one of his ears due to the high-pitched noise coming from his friend. He then makes sure to slap his friend on the shoulder for good measure.

Redik tries not to cry, only a single tear came out. He bit his lip, but he failed and screamed.

“Who’s the ninnyshit now?” Aquila asks.

“I-I am...” Redik sniffles.

“Hey, can I try something?” Aquila asks.

“No.” Redik dryly responds.

“Too bad.” Aquila says as he places his hand on Redik’s face and pushes. Leaving a white mark in the shape of his hand. “Fresco...(Cool...)”

Redik lets out a high pitched whine.

“Alright, lets take you back to Ponyville before you go bad.” Aquila says. He then bends down to pick Redik up.

“No no wait- OOOOOOWWWW!” Redik screams as he gets picked up.

Aquila had a really hard time carrying Redik, his entire body hurt like hell. But he had to suck it up and keep going, for the sake of a good crispy awesome dinner waiting for him.

“I hate my life.” Redik mumbles raspily.

“Don’t worry, it hates you too.” Aquila replies.

Aquila starts heading back in the direction of Ponyville. “So, do you want to be on a plate? Or on a wooden stick?”

“Shut up!” Redik snaps.

Aquila laughs at his joke. He also makes sure to “accidentally” touch Redik on any tree branch he can.

“OW!”

“Whoops, sorry.” Aquila fake apologizes, they hit a small patch of trees on the way there. It was like a field of cacti for Redik.

“So Aquila, what do you think that guy was?” Redik asks.

“I don’t know, but he certainly wasn’t from Equestria... wait... maybe he’s?... Naaaah.” Aquila says.

“He’s what?” Redik really wanted to know what Aquila was thinking.

“I was thinking he might be a planeswalker, but isn’t that a really small chance?” Aquila ponders.

“I don’t know, we already have the doctor, and it seems like the Princess has already met some before.” Redik says.

“For once, I think you’re actually right. Just one problem... We don’t know where he went. Also, he kicked our asini (asses).” Aquila thought outloud.

“Well why don’t we just train to get stronger?” Redik asks.

“Because we can’t just pull talent out of our asses.” Aquila says.

“Oh...” Redik says, slightly dissapointed. “Well what are we going to do?”

“Learn what we can from the doctor, then figure out a way to gain power like he has. So others won’t have to face him. I mean, he did just slaughter an entire village.” Aquila says.

“Well you seem like the type who would be affected by that. Why aren’t you going all emo?” Redik asks.

“Because I’ve seen this before... just not a flaming horseman on a demon horse. I’m going to have nightmares about that for weeks.” Aquila says, wiping a bit of sweat off his forehead. “I’ve never met an evil man who cannot be killed.”

“Well maybe he can... just we don’t know how.” Redik says.

“Yeah...” Aquila says, pondering about the conversation.

After many hours of walking, Aquila could see Ponyville in the distance. It was night now and the lights were shining bright from the town. Aquila was just about to collapse, from both the pain and exhaustion.

Redik fell asleep, multiple times he’s drooled on Aquila’s robe, and multiple times he was slapped in the face by Aquila for doing so.

Aquila arrived at the library and hastily knocked on the door. Making it sound urgent, because it was.

A tired Twilight opens the door several moments later. “Ugh...” she groans, rubbing her eyes. Her mane was out-of-place, and she looks as though she just woke up. Which she did. “A-... Aquila? Redik? What are you two doing here so late..?” she asks the two of them.

“Village... fire...zombies...hurting...” Aquila manages to let out before he falls face first onto the wood floor, causing Redik to hit his head on the floor and fall as well. Except this caused everything on him to burn. “OOOOOOOWWWWWW!” he screams.

Twilight went wide-eyed, and gasped. “Zombies?” she repeats, more than a little bit confused. “O-okay, let me help you.” she then ignites her horn, and the two humans are covered in her signature magical aura. She grunts as she lifts them both at the same time, due to her just waking up. Levitating them through the air, she sets Redik on her bed first, not covering him up. She then softly sets Aquila on the couch.

“Must tell... Princess.” Aquila barely says.

“Must get... aloe...” Redik says, his skin sizzling.

“Must... punch Redik.” Aquila says, balling-up his fist.

Twilight sighs, being next to Aquila on the first floor. “You two ‘must’ get some sleep.” she smirks mockingly, covering Aquila with a blanket she retrieved from upstairs. She then trots upstairs, to take care of Redik.

Aquila instantly falls asleep, not taking her advice, because he was already planning on doing that. He dreams about the firelord and getting his ass kicked, over and over.

Redik was groaning in the bed. “Give me... ALOE!” he yells.

Twilight sighs. “Calm down, Redik.” she pulls out a clear bottle with a blue gel in it. She took some onto her hoof, and began to (as softly as she could,) rub the gel on Redik. It was just like aloe vera, but just blue and had a much stronger cooling sensation than normal aloe.

Redik sighs with relief. “Aquila is mean, he’s been slapping me.” he whines.

Twilight giggles. “Well, I’m sure he’ll come around to apologizing soon. Now get some rest, okay? I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.” she said, rubbing some of the gel on Redik’s shoulders and arms. She then turns off the light that was on, and went downstairs. She lays on a blanket that she laid out on the floor, where a pillow was. She lays her head on the pillow, and shuts her eyes.

Aquila was talking in his sleep. “No!... Take Redik instead! He’s more useless!”

Twilight opens an eye, and smiles, before closing it again.

Comments

[Shadow Arrow]

HOLY NINNYSHIT
This chapter is hilarious!

[Eagle Heart]

1622594 No actual food carts were hurt in the making of this chapter.

[Shadow Arrow]

1622617
Good, I was starting to get worried

[CIA]

1622617
These two will be the death of me by the end of this story

[Eagle Heart]

1623428 I have to keep myself from laughing while writing this story. It's hard.

[TheEnemyCube]

Oh god, this was hilarious at times. Okay maybe all the time, especially that last line! Next time someone thinks I'm asleep, I'll yell: "No! Take him! He's more useless!"

[Trigger Happy]

Okay I really love that last lines. Aquila is becoming a bit more immature now XD and i kinda like the new him.

[High Moon]

1624541 This story is fucking hilarious

[Fireeaters]

Damn aquilla needs to get out some land and play some protection circles...

[The Cure]

THE GHOST RIDER! .......... or not